I'm Desperate to Jerk Off, and I'm Out of Lotion, so Gonna Try Mayonnaise...

[Katch123]

Didn't Marlon Brando use butter in "The Last Tango in Paris?"

 

[MaxwellSmart86]

I would have a hard time concentrating with the aroma of mayo wafting through the air.

 

[Britva415]

No SOAP in your house? Pretty much any cleaning product for your skin or hair will make a decent lube.

Soap stings a lot, though, if it gets into the pee hole.

Maybe OP is into that. Not me.

 

[Katch123]

Didn't Marlon Brando use butter in "The Last Tango in Paris"?

Update: I Googled it and read the conflicting stories until my eyes were tired and came to the following possibilities.

1) Marlon Brando used a stick of butter as a penis to simulate the rape his 19yr old co-star.
2) He used butter as a lubricant to help simulate the rape his co-star with 2 of his fingers.
3) Butter was used in some waydurring a movie rape scene.

I'm thinking unless the butter was frozen it wouldn't work too well as a penis so I'm thinking #2 is most likely what happened.

 

[PleaseLetMeIm]

Update: I Googled it and read the conflicting stories until my eyes were tired and came to the following possibilities.

1) Marlon Brando used a stick of butter as a penis to simulate the rape his 19yr old co-star.
2) He used butter as a lubricant to help simulate the rape his co-star with 2 of his fingers.
3) Butter was used in some waydurring a movie rape scene.

I'm thinking unless the butter was frozen it wouldn't work too well as a penis so I'm thinking #2 is most likely what happened.

Defo #2

 

[Jordanjack]

What the hell? Just jerk it dry. I rarely use lube.

 

[FGB]

Update: I Googled it and read the conflicting stories until my eyes were tired and came to the following possibilities.

1) Marlon Brando used a stick of butter as a penis to simulate the rape his 19yr old co-star.
2) He used butter as a lubricant to help simulate the rape his co-star with 2 of his fingers.
3) Butter was used in some waydurring a movie rape scene.

I'm thinking unless the butter was frozen it wouldn't work too well as a penis so I'm thinking #2 is most likely what happened.

Salted or unsalted?
Half stick or whole.
You are losing it...losing it!
Not MY fault your pussy is smoking hot Bitch!

Only on Lit.

 

[SmokingFap]

What the hell? Just jerk it dry. I rarely use lube.

I rarely fuck dry pussy...

 

[LilyField]

Yup. Don't feel like going back out to the store. Did a minimal amount of research, seems mayo is at least safe and possibly enjoyable, although definitely need a shower afterwards. I saw that coconut oil was highly recommended, as well as olive oil. Don't have those. Anyone else tried mayo? Other food products? I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!

do you have someone to clean the mayo off when you finish?

 

[SmokingFap]

do you have someone to clean the mayo off when you finish?

If I had someone to help at all, I wouldn't have been using mayonnaise...