I'm laughing my ass off

[Jenny_Jackson]

Marsh and Mikey,
This story has been trolled from the moment it was posted. This morning it was at 4.21 or something, which is a vast improvement from yesterday morning. The reasons for the trolling are, I think, two fold.

First, the story is in Romance. The readers in that Cat expect the stories to end with the lovers living "Happily ever after." This is not that kind of story. Also, the story is jarring. I was meant to be. There is very little discription, no real sex and it's written in shortk, choppy sentences, just the way a memory would be in real life. I don't think the readers in that Cat want real life - They perfer their fantisies.

Second, the story was intentionally written to dredge up images from within the reader. Some are probably gut-wrenching to some of the readers because of their own life experience. Read an Avalon book sometime. Everything is explained. I didn't write this story like that. In truth, it began that way, but I like it better the way it came out without all the flowing prose and cock-sucking romantic bullshit. I wanted the reader to think, maybe even empathize.

Because of these things, the story has suffered in the voting and in my email. This is proof positive that something is pretty much right about this story. It seems to have done what was intended. Vote Scores are really rather meaningless in this type of story, I guess.

 

[ninefe2dg]

.....

If you follow my comments in this Forum, Nine, you will see that I absolutely hate expostulation and discriptions. I don't think they are necessary for a decent story other than to set a scene. I also believe they interfer with the readers mind. I would much rather render a scene and let the reader fill it in from his own experiences and preference. I believe that makes it much more vivid to each reader. Do I care if you see a big-titted blonde in your mind while I see a small breasted brunette? I makes no difference as long as the images in your mind work for you and carry the story along.

Yes, I'm starting to understand the benefits of mystery, and allowing the reader to fill in the details. You'd made a comment about narration in one of my stories (since fixed I hope).

You will find that most of my stories are quite short, say 3000 to 3500 words. I usually write the story however it flows out of my head to my fingers. The original story will be some 8 to 10,000 words. Then I begin cutting everything that doesn't matter or move the story along. As often as not, i chop out entire scenes. What I aim for is a short, compact story that still does everything a story is supposed to do - hold the interest of the reader, instill some empathy for the characters and a solid, moving plot.

The length can keep people reading as well. While not connected as I'd mentioned at the beginning, it was still worth it to see it through, which I'm glad I did.

Your first comment is maybe the biggest failing of this story. You weren't connected to the characters because in some ways I didn't want you to be too close to them. My intent was to have the reader standing away from the action, sort of a fly on the wall, listening to my/his/her thoughts and memories. I'm not really happy with the way it turned out. But it's still a decent attempt.

Well, "only" failing is more like it, if a failing at all. It sounds like it was intentional. Seems a pretty straightforward fix if you choose to do so...

 

[jomar]

I liked your story. I like that you put it in romance to wake people up.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I liked your story. I like that you put it in romance to wake people up.

I'm twisted, Jomar... didn't you know?

 

[jomar]

I'm twisted, Jomar... didn't you know?

I did. And psycho too.

 

[Divulgence]

*****