Imagine: Self-Absorbed Sex

[Pure]

that's an important point, hester. the person practicing the 'self absorbed' (libertine) sex of this thread, or the cruel sex of the SMACK thread, seems to some like a cause for alarm: 'watch out for this person!' or ' if you see him, run off!' Or cause for a new case entry in Krafft Ebing.

but in each case, there are the receivers of these acts; that is the deeper point, here. barring kidnapping etc.* the 'object' is free to leave. she (if it's a woman) cannot be a primary cause of the event, but is implicated in its occurence (a similar point to what Alice said).

Luna wrote a rather fine story about such an 'object'; i recommend it (title: 'anal gang bang'-- not for the faint of heart).

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=125908

---
*i.e. staying legal

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Egads

I had missed this thread. (Thanks p for sending me a catch up)..

I have found myself falling easily into self-absorbed habits...ie sex for it's own sake and not for any other reason. Since I am once again single with no real interest in finding a relationship, being very self involved doesn't seem so bad.

I have noted 2 differences from the first time I went through this phase though:

1) I will not encourage (or allow) the recipient of my lust to believe we are going to have a *happily ever after*. The main reason being that if they confuse my words in thier minds, it has absolutely nothing to do with me..and everything to do with them not listening.

2) It is easier for me to engage in self absorbed actions with women than it ever has been before. In the past, it was men who riled me to the point that I had to *get my own*. Women deserved more respect from me (at least in my heart they did). Apparently though, this has changed in some fundamental way. It still isn't as easy for me to engage a woman this way as it is with a guy but I think that has something to do with my female *superiority* complex...

All of this being said, I still feel that as long as no *outright* lies are told (completely discounting lies of omission) self absorbed sex is a far cry from being abusive. In the end, most people will believe what they want, whether they are told something in specific or not ie "I do not want a relationship from you." or "After tonight, I don't really see what the point is in our discussing anything else."

The blame (if one should cast it) falls squarely on the shoulders of the one who refuses to believe what they are told. (At least in the cases of those particular statements...)

Lies of omission are bit different. By refusing to be completely honest with the other person, the blame for any hurt engendered is shared..by both parties. Of course, sometimes the response (one is waiting for) can only be given if the self absorbed one doesn't admit to the whole truth at once. I have found, that this no longer suits the way I live. I don't consider it evil...but it doesn't fit my spiritual picture of myself, any longer.

Hmmm I wonder when that thought process changed? While I was still actively submissive? Or once I stood on the other side of the crop?

Thoughts?

 

[Pure]

good posting, luna,

one can moralize about self absorbed acts, of course, but are we agreed on the *fact* of them; that they 'feel good'? that they're a common part of nature and its human sector?

i don't see a duty of total transparency (what i think you mean by 'total honesty') to all and sundry that we bed. hell, we're not even transparent to ourselves.

my opinion as to the culpable 'lie of omission' in this area: it is very limited in application; for example, omitting to tell the single, marriage-minded person you've been courting that you're married. ease up on yourself, friend!

---
fine story, luna! anal g.b. classic SM tale, not prettied up.

 

[Let_it_come]

Hmmmmm -

All of this is really interesting to me.
'The voice of Lit.' often sounds just a bit too prim for my ears... considering that we are all talking about fucking here.
So much of what I read is well washed, consentual, respectful and nurturing. Fair enough.
But, keeping within the law & rules of Lit., where ARE all the self-absorbed people? Those lost in the moment and fucking (or whatever) HARD for their own gratification?
PC is nice. But a libido has no morality or conscience in its most basic (& maybe most honest) manifestation.
Only a POV.
I'm just interested that the consensus on Lit. is so... 'Nice'.
Not a criticism, just an observation.
'Nice' can be good. 'Nice' people love it.
If I was 'Nice' I'd probably dig it too...
Jenny.

 

[Pure]

i think that's a good point, jenny, though the less- and the more- respectable looking need to appreciate one another. but it is a puzzle--not a deep one-- why someone on the one hand says, "my sexuality and lifestyle is unique, my own, and deviant from society's norm, the 'vanilla.' " BUT we ask, "Do you ever seek your own advantage, possibly over another's?" or "Are you ever rather 'self absorbed' or 'self centred' in your pleasures?" "Is anger a part of your sexuality?" they say, "Heaven's NO. THAT would be immoral." "That would be selfish, if not anti-social." "I beg your pardon, I'm as gentle and nurturing as can be."

In short, "I'm a perv-- i love to whip [or, be whipped by] my lover till s/he bleeds [or, I bleed]. But DON'T think i'm selfish--that's slanderous!"

That being said, however odd the mixture, some fetichists are models of saintly caring and unselfish devotion. We aren't entitled to say, 'you aren't real fetichists because, because you are too nice to each other.' Perhaps they, in turn, can avoid saying 'you're despicable; a danger to society.' IOW let's have some 'live and let live', all around!

AFAIK our moderators are in agreement, basically, with the above.

 

[Let_it_come]

Agreed. Sex-snobbery is some of the worst.
We're all different and all POVs are equally valid in my book.
I just wonder if sometimes people 'pretty things up' when they post on the forums just to be more accepted? No way of knowing is there?
In my own short experience here at Lit. I get replies in the forum which are mainly reasonable & moderate in either their agreement or disagreement with whatever I've said. But on the PM service people really come out of the woodwork both pro & con my posts. Oddly I get most support in private. People seem a bit shy about admitting things even in the environment of a sex-forum on the Internet where nobody knows your name.
It's interesting, is all.

Jenny

 

[Pure]

lic said, . People seem a bit shy about admitting things even in the environment of a sex-forum on the Internet where nobody knows your name.

this is very odd, indeed, and often seen. i feel it some times. we get attached to a screenname. so 'miss honeybuns', gets known as a straight shooter, and is not going to post 'last night i cheated on my husband'-- even though the 'sneak' label cannot come back to the real person.

but why will a person admit, 'yes i suck cum from my partner's butt' but not 'there are times when i don't give a crap about my partner's orgasm.'?