Introducing your partner to domination

[fieryjen]

A while after my now-husband and I first started dating, I found the courage to breach the subject of BDSM. He'd never done anything like it and didn't think he was in any way dominant, while I had a bit of experience and have always sorta known I was a submissive.

He didn't seem completely turned off by the idea, so I told him that it would mean a lot to me if we'd give it a try some time. He was a bit reluctant, but agreed.

The first few times were extremely weird. I did feel like I was simply acting, and it was difficult to find the fear and respect in me that I should have. He noticed it, too, and that frustrated him.

We did a lot of talking during that time. We had to talk out every single scene, the way we both felt during it, and what we expected or each other during the scene. It was a difficult process. We were lucky though, because it did work out. My husband developed quite the taste for it, though it took a little while, and now I couldn't find a better Dom for me. If you're interested at all (sorry for the plug ), I wrote down some of my feelings during those times here and here.

 

[shy slave]

Just checking to see what you pervs are up to.

There are pervs in Lit?

*faints*

 

[sirsprincess]

i introduced this lifestyle to my husband about a year ago and for a long time and even sometimes now it feels pretend. one thing we did that helped to make it more real was to set a list of limits or rules (domestic stuff, like having dinner ready at a certain time, etc) and then i would give him a report weekly with what i did. i also tried to change the way i spoke to him, i.e. instead of saying i don't want onions with that hamburger, i may say "would it be ok if i didn't have onions with that? - something that requires permission on his part. it helped both of us. i will say that the first time it felt kind of real was when he was genuinely upset with me about something and in the past, it would be unresolved for a while but that time, he took me over his knee and it was painful and made it feel very real.

 

[lumi]

My husband and I had played around with restraints and spanking for a while before I really broached the subject with him. What I did was send him links to several stories here on Lit, saying "I really like this" (I communicate more easily through email). His enthusiastic response was very gratifying, and he's been busy finding ways to dominate me that I never really even thought of, but it all feels right.