Is it me...am I missing something??

[a_well_punished_girl]

I'm sorry but I just can't understand all these women who let someone called their Masters.... tell them what to do...Must be I'm too old fashioned...and still believe in equal rights and trust me ...

Ain't no man gonna tell me what to do...am I the only one that feels this way

"Old-fashioned"...that's an interesting way to put it.
When I think of that term, I think back to the days when the man basically ran the household.
I have a say in my relationship...and share much equality in certain areas. I also have the comfort and safety of being with a man who reigns me in (when I need it) and protects me. Some of it is kink...yes...it turns me on...a strong man who takes care of me.
It does not mean that I do not have my own mind or the ability to speak up about something that I disagree with. We are partners in this journey.
Plain and simple...it works for us...and a whole lot of other people, as well. Over the years I have actually seen this lifestyle gain popularity. I truly feel that the growing "trend" has something to do with the pressures that women face today. Have a career, raise the children, cook, clean the house...and still manage to be sexy and exciting in the bedroom.
So many women that I talk to...some in the "lifestyle" and some not...crave a strong man who knows exactly how to take charge and make a woman feel...well, like a woman.
I do not knock those who take the feminist route...more power to you, but it is not for me.

 

[chris9]

I'm sorry but I just can't understand all these women who let someone called their Masters.... tell them what to do...Must be I'm too old fashioned...and still believe in equal rights and trust me ...

Ain't no man gonna tell me what to do...am I the only one that feels this way

I find the statement valid. It's actually my biggest 'problem' to accept that I can be an independent, strong, working, feminist woman AND submit to a partner. It really isn't easy. My mind understands that because of the feminist movement I have the freedom to do whatever I want, that I don't have to be the housewife who looks to her husband for everything, that I can pursue the career I want, be equal and that this freedom includes giving up any of the above, that the choice is mine what to do. My feelings don't see it quite like that. I suppose they have to get used to it. It helps that they know that it's right for me, even if they think it's not right in general. Difficult topic, really.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm sorry but I just can't understand all these women who let someone called their Masters.... tell them what to do...Must be I'm too old fashioned...and still believe in equal rights and trust me ...

Ain't no man gonna tell me what to do...am I the only one that feels this way

LOL, want a news flash from a hardcore feminist? Feminism basically is about the freedom to choose, not have patriarchial choices exchanged for now allowing women to make my choices for me, tell me what I should be happy with and how I should live. My choice to live as a slave is exactly that, a choice, and as such I chose to submit to someone I cared about and shared similar views and desires with. Not so difficult to understand and a whole lot better than basing my choices on what is considered acceptable, politically correct, OK by other peoples standards and desires. Cool, huh?!! It is the ultimate liberation because I get to live the life I want, not what others think I should want.

Catalina

 

[wildrose70]

Well in the hard light of the morning...perhaps I need to make myself a bit clearer....for 49 years I had to make all the decisions and take care of everything in my marriage...so I was used to being independent

And yes I do have a man in my life and yes I do enjoy him making decisions for a change...it's a welcome change...and it's something I have always wanted...he's black and younger and I'm very happy....so I got a second chance at being happy...anyhow it's been interesting reading all the different views and I thank you all for understanding my somewhat muddled views

 

[AngelicAssassin]

**moved from amateur pics forum by moderator**

Why moved here instead of to the General Board?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Why moved here instead of to the General Board?

Because he is a sadist?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well in the hard light of the morning...perhaps I need to make myself a bit clearer....for 49 years I had to make all the decisions and take care of everything in my marriage...so I was used to being independent

And yes I do have a man in my life and yes I do enjoy him making decisions for a change...it's a welcome change...and it's something I have always wanted...he's black and younger and I'm very happy....so I got a second chance at being happy...anyhow it's been interesting reading all the different views and I thank you all for understanding my somewhat muddled views

LOL, well then you might begin to understand if you are so independent. I actually spent nearly 2 decades alone, by choice, raising my 2 children without help from anyone else. There was no financial or emotional or decision making support from my ex/their father, nor did he see it necessary after the first couple of months to be part of their life. On top of that I took charge of my life, went back to school (regular school with the kids, not adult education classes) and got my high school certificate, then went onto full-time university for 4 years to get a degree. That was not always fun as I had a lot of serious illnes at the time and also an operation, and still had to come home and take care of my children, the house, and all things living in modern times entails. Then I went on to a successful career where I actually became known nation wide in certain circles for the work I was doing.

During this time I also managed to pay the mortgage on my house alone. Despite all that, and the few good men I did date sporadically, something was missing. I was fortunate to find what that was and as was my habit I once again took charge in seeking out the one whose needs counter matched mine, as opposed to the idea some had that I should sit and wait and hope he found me by accident...lol, didn't figure I wanted to waste anymore time waiting for a fairytale when I could be actively involved in doing my best to find it for myself. My instincts paid off as I now have a wonderful Master who actually loves me as well as owns me, and who partly chose me because I had a mind and will which he could utilise for his own purposes/ It is not always so straight forward as some think when considering what D/s or M/s relationships entail and say about those individuals involved. I have found few stereotypical characters in these relationships, though some like to portray to the rest of the world (or kink world at least) the image stereotypes support.

Catalina

 

[wildrose70]

Well my hat is off too you...and being both Mother and Father ...I say Happy Fathers day

While I wasn't alone I had no help emotionally either..

You sound like a remarkable lady who has found what she needs....and I'm happy for you

 

[FurryFury]

ditto

and kisses for fury

Thanks!



Right back atcha, Captain's Wench.

Fury

 

[MelancholyBaby]

Well said, a_well_punished_girl. I couldn't agree with you more. And I the quote in your signature.

 

[Bandit58]

To an older woman like me that was in a long term marriage and really wasn't even aware of all the things in this world...boy after divorce was a big eye opener

Wildrose I was in a long term marriage too (23 years) and since I left him 4 years ago wow I have discovered a whole new world.......

I am a submissive and always have been, without knowing it could be a blessing rather than a curse. My ex is a control freak, but no matter how I tried to please I was never good enough for him.......he is domineering rather than dominant.

I have now been in my first D/s relationship for 2 1/2 years. I am truly happy for the first time in my life. Sure he spanks my butt and pulls my hair but he also gives me the most pleasure I've ever known. I was afraid of my responses at first and thought I must be weird But it's just the way I am wired and I always have been, just didn't meet the right person until much later in my life (I was 45 when we got together). Now I feel like I belong instead of being a square peg in a round hole

 

[Etoile]

In her original post, wildrose said she didn't "get" BDSM. And you know what? That's perfectly fine. As long as you don't mind that other people enjoy it (and wildrose basically said "whatever floats your boat," so we know she doesn't mind), then you don't have to get it. I'm speaking of the general "you" here, of course.

I don't get organized religion. I think believing in God is silly, and people who do are weird. Bit if somebody wants to believe that stuff, that's fine. Just because I don't mind it doesn't mean I condone it...you can do whatever you want, I just think you're strange for it.

I guess BDSM is the same way. As long as you're not trying to convert the kinky - telling them they're being abused, etc - then it's okay to not get it and think we're weird.

 

[wildrose70]

Actually

I had no idea how I ended up on this part of Lit...like I said....it was cocktail hour and I was reading a thread on the pic site...so I do totally agree ...everyone has their own life style and far be it from me to try and change anyone's minds or try to convert...***** should be lived the way it makes you happy....
hey there are a lot of people that frown on black/white...but that's my style and I'm totally happy...

I hope I didn't offend anyone...I'm a lover not a fighter...I'm really very easy to get along with...

 

[M's girl]

...... Sure he spanks my butt and pulls my hair

But is that BDSM? I would say I'm not into BDSM but I sure like to be overpowered sometimes during sex, which to me means M taking control and even forcing me to do things. Of course he knows what he can do to me and make me do and what not and I'm pretty sure it probably is vanilla stuff to you. Still... he spanks my butt (with his hands only) and pulls my hair. If done right and in the right setting I will love it.

He likes to be spanked sometimes too. Not too hard and in a somewhat playfull way. I sometimes wonder if we are on the edge of BDSM or not.

 

[a_well_punished_girl]

Well said, a_well_punished_girl. I couldn't agree with you more. And I the quote in your signature.

Thank-you. I am a big fan of Anais Nin.

 

[Xelebes]

I'm sorry but I just can't understand all these women who let someone called their Masters.... tell them what to do...Must be I'm too old fashioned...and still believe in equal rights and trust me ...

Ain't no man gonna tell me what to do...am I the only one that feels this way

Sometimes a girl wants to fuck with the rules, just like the guy.

 

[SirFace]

In her original post, wildrose said she didn't "get" BDSM. And you know what? That's perfectly fine. As long as you don't mind that other people enjoy it (and wildrose basically said "whatever floats your boat," so we know she doesn't mind), then you don't have to get it. I'm speaking of the general "you" here, of course.

I don't get organized religion. I think believing in God is silly, and people who do are weird. Bit if somebody wants to believe that stuff, that's fine. Just because I don't mind it doesn't mean I condone it...you can do whatever you want, I just think you're strange for it.

I guess BDSM is the same way. As long as you're not trying to convert the kinky - telling them they're being abused, etc - then it's okay to not get it and think we're weird.

Perfect, we are of like minds.

 

[Temptress_lee]

I can see were this sort of lifestyle would appear taboo, to some people. You might ask, "Why would a woman want to be treated like a peice of meat?"

And I think this is were alot of people get confused. The husband didn't just wake up one day and say, "Your going to be my slave now!" it's something they desire. It's not anymore taboo then a man wanting to submit to a woman. People fear what they don't understand. But if you try to understand it, instead of fearing it. You will see that it is far more liberated, then it is old fashioned. In fact it's a choice. A woman can still be a feminist, and still have an urge to submit. Because it would be her choice. And being a feminist is all about making your own choices. And if that choice is to become a sex slave for a few months then go for it!

 

[siren319]

I don't really agree with that..I think lovemaking should be shared by 2 people and not one person in control....but then each his own...
I don't mean to put anyone down for the lifestyle they choose to follow

I think you just pointed out the big difference. Though I tend to agree with the idea that someone is always in control, this simple difference in the way I think in comparison to the way you think is probably the big difference between someone who enjoys BDSM or powerplay and someone who doesn't.

 

[Etoile]

It's not anymore taboo then a man wanting to submit to a woman.

You've touched upon what I think is an interesting difference between maledom and femdom (straight) relationships. I've noticed that femdom relationships tend to be more likely to include an element of superiority - that is, "you will submit to me because as a woman I am better than you, and all men are worms." You don't see that kind of thing overtly in maledom relationships. To be honest, that superiority reminds me of racial dominance in years past...African-Americans being subjugated by white slaveowners because of their skin color, and Jews being singled out by the Nazis because of their - well, I never did figure that one out.

But I do find it interesting that some female dominants base their superior position on "well, all men are scum and women are better, so of course I'm the one in charge."

 

[wildrose70]

Little did I realize

When I first posted there would be so many interesting responses and such a variety of answers...I have learned much just from reading ...

And I tend to agree...most of the time someone is in control and actually I do enjoy my man taking care of things for me...and telling me what he likes me to do...so guess in a way I do understand....not only in the bedroom...but just like the way he prefers my hair color....and I have darkened it for him...so guess that sort of makes him the Dom

but he also knows just how far he can push me too

 

[Jeremy Davis]

But is that BDSM? I would say I'm not into BDSM but I sure like to be overpowered sometimes during sex, which to me means M taking control and even forcing me to do things. Of course he knows what he can do to me and make me do and what not and I'm pretty sure it probably is vanilla stuff to you. Still... he spanks my butt (with his hands only) and pulls my hair. If done right and in the right setting I will love it.

He likes to be spanked sometimes too. Not too hard and in a somewhat playfull way. I sometimes wonder if we are on the edge of BDSM or not.

If you want to get technical, spanking and hair pulling is considered BDSM activities, though in your example I would just say you two have fun with your sexual selves.

BDSM means Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masocism. Its a general term that groups people who like to cause/ recieve physical pain, give / recieve dicipline (Whips, paddles, etc..) and like to be tied up or tie people up. None of these activities necessarily mean that they happen during sex or lead to sex though Id say 90% of the time one leads to another.

This discussion would really fall under the Master(Mistress) /slave or Top/bottom discussion of power exchange. What that pretty much says is that you like to give up your control and allow someone else to control you. This type of relationship sometimes goes hand and hand with BDSM so it is usually grouped under that heading too.

 

[Netzach]

You've touched upon what I think is an interesting difference between maledom and femdom (straight) relationships. I've noticed that femdom relationships tend to be more likely to include an element of superiority - that is, "you will submit to me because as a woman I am better than you, and all men are worms." You don't see that kind of thing overtly in maledom relationships. To be honest, that superiority reminds me of racial dominance in years past...African-Americans being subjugated by white slaveowners because of their skin color, and Jews being singled out by the Nazis because of their - well, I never did figure that one out.

But I do find it interesting that some female dominants base their superior position on "well, all men are scum and women are better, so of course I'm the one in charge."

Well when you've been subjected to the idea of your OWN inferiority for millenia, don't you think it might kink your sexuality in interesting ways when you're talking about being in the power position?

FWIW, I don't think I'm superior, but I *do* thrive on the irony of being in charge and in power in relationship to a male bottom who "should be" socially.

 

[Ebonyfire]

But I do find it interesting that some female dominants base their superior position on "well, all men are scum and women are better, so of course I'm the one in charge."

I have found that interesting also.

In My case, I do not want an inferior being serving Me. If a man is inferior then what good is his submission? If he is worthless then would that make his submission worthless also?

My slaves and submissives are valuable property. I believe the submission of a successful, confident, and worthy man is very sweet indeed. As my buddy SD says "it tastes like honey". I personally would find the opposite not an attactive proposition. I like and respect the men who kneel to Me, if I did not, they would not be in My presence. If they are scum then I do not want them dirtying up my carpet, lol.

Eb

 

[Caitlynne]

I have found that interesting also.

In My case, I do not want an inferior being serving Me. If a man is inferior then what good is his submission? If he is worthless then would that make his submission worthless also?

My slaves and submissives are valuable property. I believe the submission of a successful, confident, and worthy man is very sweet indeed. As my buddy SD says "it tastes like honey". I personally would find the opposite not an attactive proposition. I like and respect the men who kneel to Me, if I did not, they would not be in My presence. If they are scum then I do not want them dirtying up my carpet, lol.

Eb

*Is speechless*

Oh, Welcome Back!!!! Welcome Back!!!! You have truly been missed.