Is this where all the deviants hang out?

[Spinaroonie]

Did you participate in the class discussion on deviance, sd412? Did you astound them all with your insights into the dark and steamy world of alternative sexuality?

Well, seeing as how the main part of the topic was deviance in relation towards criminal behavior, it would've been really odd However, deviance is the topic of the week, so I'll probably be dreaming of doing it irl alllll week Funny how some things help me pay attention more

 

[SpectreT]

That was probably me, and i still stand by that statement.

Stickin' to your guns, hm? Curiosity compels me to ask, on what grounds have you based your detemination regarding my alleged deviancy, or lack thereof?

(My mother was right. I should've become a lawyer.....)

You don't have to hog up space in the thread, you can PM me with the details of how I'm "normal".

 

[cymbidia]

You don't have to hog up space in the thread, you can PM me with the details of how I'm "normal".

Yeh, right!
Like we don't want to hear this one!

 

[morninggirl5]

Determined is a word used quite often to describe me, so i'm off to find my reasoning from the Monster.

I remember the basis of it, but not the whole thing.

SpectreT, you have a PM.

And to satisfy the voyeurs among us, i'll dig the whole thing up.

Wonderful news, everyone, search works on this new forum, so it's actually not too hard to find specific posts from the Monster if you know a topic or poster's name.




My reasoning was based completely on behavoristic psychology. For a behavior to be "deviant" or abnormal it has to fall greater than two standard deviations from the mean. So, 95% of all sexual behavior is "normal" and 2.5% at either end of the sexual spectrum are the true deviant behaviors. Those true deviant behaviors would be in my mind - pedophilia, necrophilia, etc.

The rest of us fall comfortably in the 95% of behaviors that are "normal."


It occurred to me this evening that my reasoning here may be the explanation for WriterDom's assertion that he never met a psychology major that wasn't kinky. Psych majors define their kinky behaviors as normal, giving themselves permission to be kinky and still feel "normal."

 

[SpectreT]

morninggirl5, you have a PM in reply.

First off, A public apology. I wasn't trying to pick a fight, or be an asshole, I was trying to stimulate a philosohical debate over the label "deviant". Dissecting labels and kicking them around in discussion is one of the things I enjoy doing.

That, of course, feels a lot like hijacking the thread.

And, in similar spirit, I offer a somewhat paraphrased re-hash of my PM:

I used a less scientific method to arrive at the place where I decided to call myself a "deviant", with my usual smart-assed grin when applying a label to myself. I've read a theory, derivitive of Perceptual Reality, called "Consensus Reality". The basic idea is, if enough people believe something, it's true, whether it's technically accurate or not. Enough people believe my kinks are deviant that it doesn't matter to them that I don't fit that far corner of the 2.5% envelope. I'm just a "sick freak", and get to hear all kinds of ignorant rantings about perverts.

Mind you, that's "Public Perception", and doesn't have anything to do with my self-image (Thank God! I'd really be a basket case if I bought into that overdramatic load of business I just typed.)

I think we should start a new thread if this discussion goes any further. Ruby was being nice and congratulating us, and I've gone and made this whole ugly mess.

Sorry.

 

[morninggirl5]

morninggirl5, you have a PM in reply.

First off, A public apology. I wasn't trying to pick a fight, or be an asshole, I was trying to stimulate a philosohical debate over the label "deviant". Dissecting labels and kicking them around in discussion is one of the things I enjoy doing.

<snip>
I think we should start a new thread if this discussion goes any further. Ruby was being nice and congratulating us, and I've gone and made this whole ugly mess.

Sorry.

I've read a lot of your posts, SpectreT and have yet to find one that would scream "asshole" to me.

After 10:30 pm tomorrow when i finish my last grad school class, those "fun" philosophical discussions might be back in my world.

You didn't make an ugly mess on your own. As with most "messes" here, it was definitely a group effort.

 

[cymbidia]

T! You have NOT made this a big ugly mess!

You and mg5 have been posting to and around and between and alongside each other for months and months and months. You know each other. You're comfy with each other. You trust each other.

I never in a trillion years saw the interplay between you as anything other than a familial kind of poking, a good-natured and light-hearted and kindly kinda shoving, maybe. Was it more serious? I never imagined it could be. I know you both as incredibly generous, intelligent, thinking, and sensitive members of our small community. Nither of you would deliberately make a mess of things - and if you did, it would hurt you more than it would hurt any of us.

Chill, darlin's.
All is well.

And i think you both have really good points, too, btw. I've *quite* enjoyed hearing the reasoning behind the assertions you both made lo those many months ago.

~hugs to you both~

b.

 

[SpectreT]

Ah, I've just been kinda cranky lately, and stuck my chin out and said, "Yeah, Prove it!" That's why I thought I might be an asshole, here.

Maybe a theory Rubyfruit spouted in another thread is true, and I just need a good assfuck to take me out of this foul mood.

I'll PM you about the particulars in a couple of minutes, cym.

the rest of you: no peeking! I can't maintain this facade of strength if any of this gets out...

 

[cymbidia]

Without violating any confidences, i'd like to say something i feel strongly about... a thing i think is serious for our kind, indeed.


You cannot stay online forever.
BDSM is a thing of bodies and minds, hearts and wet spots. You cannot stay forever wishing and hoping and wanting and dreaming about it because... we all need someone to fit our needs and we cannot have that, forever, just and only online.

I understand that some of us have no alternative and so they do what they can.

Some of us, though, are just scared. While i'll be the first to accept the validity of being scared of a thing as a good reason not to do it, there's a difference between using your fear to keep you from what you really need and want and using it to prevent harm from coming your way.

BDSM is a thing of sweat mixing from you to your partner, of fevered kisses and skin that is red and hot from rough caresses.

Nothing online approximates real, face-to-face BDSM lovemaking.

Nothing.

Eventually we all have to turn our attention to real skin-to-skin encounters, or the possibility of them anyway, or suffer needlessly wondering and wanting and wishing about... what if... what could be... what i need...



I apologize if my strong opinion on this matter offends anyone who cannot move from online. I didn't intend it as a condemnation of anyone's choices, only as a statement of my own beliefs about the importance of real live lip-to-lip BDSM encounters in the evolution of most of us as Dominants, Switches, or submissives.

 

[SpectreT]

<dryly, and not mean or accusing; picture me with a slight smile> "without breaking confidences"... sure, cym. Pull the other leg and it plays show tunes.

Seriously, you're right, and my so-called strength is shown for the sham it is, a veneer of bravado and bad jokes from behind a computer screen. Time to show the true strength I have and move past my insecurities, show my fears, jitters, and nervousness that they are not my mistress. I'll pick my own mistress, on my own terms.

Doesn't mean I'm going away, though. I'll keep holding up business in "Switch Space", and I'm adding another column, about my moving from computer puppet to Real Boy. cym, you get to play "ghepetta" in the Lit ensemble production.

 

[cymbidia]

Doesn't mean I'm going away, though. I'll keep holding up business in "Switch Space", and I'm adding another column, about my moving from computer puppet to Real Boy. cym, you get to play "ghepetta" in the Lit ensemble production.

You can't move away. None of us can. I think we all know that.

Still, it's good that you're broadening your circle, my friend.

It'll be good for you.
You know it will.
And it's time, too.
You're ready.

And you're not a puppet. Puppets aren't brave enough to take steps like this, steps that are terrifying. You are.

However, i'd kinda like to play Gepetta for awhile.
I'm good with role plays.

 

[SpectreT]

And you're not a puppet. Puppets aren't brave enough to take steps like this, steps that are terrifying. You are.

However, i'd kinda like to play Gepetta for awhile.
I'm good with role plays.

Who's brave? Not me. To borrow a line, "Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. He is also a fool." This doesn't count as a fear. Nervous, a little shaky, sure. I'm about to do something I haven't done in almost eight years, even to my closest friends: I'm going to show a bit of my private self, let some others inside the damn-near impervious shell around me.

Sure, it's going to be a normal, informal lunch, with a bunch of people I've never met before (and maybe some folks I have met before. That's what makes me a tad bit nervous; anyone who's met me isn't going to believe it.). I can do that. I'm on a comittee in the Chamber of Commerce, so I've gotten used to small talk over a nosh, with some folks I have a common interest with.

No worries.

 

[twysted73]

Without violating any confidences, i'd like to say something i feel strongly about... a thing i think is serious for our kind, indeed.


You cannot stay online forever.
BDSM is a thing of bodies and minds, hearts and wet spots. You cannot stay forever wishing and hoping and wanting and dreaming about it because... we all need someone to fit our needs and we cannot have that, forever, just and only online.

I understand that some of us have no alternative and so they do what they can.

Some of us, though, are just scared. While i'll be the first to accept the validity of being scared of a thing as a good reason not to do it, there's a difference between using your fear to keep you from what you really need and want and using it to prevent harm from coming your way.

BDSM is a thing of sweat mixing from you to your partner, of fevered kisses and skin that is red and hot from rough caresses.

Nothing online approximates real, face-to-face BDSM lovemaking.

Nothing.

Eventually we all have to turn our attention to real skin-to-skin encounters, or the possibility of them anyway, or suffer needlessly wondering and wanting and wishing about... what if... what could be... what i need...



I apologize if my strong opinion on this matter offends anyone who cannot move from online. I didn't intend it as a condemnation of anyone's choices, only as a statement of my own beliefs about the importance of real live lip-to-lip BDSM encounters in the evolution of most of us as Dominants, Switches, or submissives.

"A thousand traveled books aren't worth one real adventure".
Here, here. I, unfortunately, fall within the category of "willing, more then able, but geographically challanged" as I find myself in a state where it's filled with a predominant culture of conservatism or very narrow minded views that as commonly found with the small minded, deal almost exclusively in black and white. Finding someone as kinky as I am minus the certifiable insanity is very "needle in a haystack" at this point. I've searched for places in SouthWest Florida but have fond very few alternative alternatives.

 

[outofhabit1]

hey everyone!
btw, Svedish_Chef....I love your pic hehe