Met a beautiful sensual sexual woman of 44 who despite rewarding loving marriage producing 2 children , several beautiful lovers all of which had resulted in highly enjoyable sex - had never climaxed.
A small bullet vibrator changed everything.
It's difficult for men to make me orgasm.
- Thread starter rainiebabie
- Start date
A small bullet vibrator changed everything.
old_hippy_46
Over the hill
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2024
- Posts
- 394
I don't think your situation is abnormal. I have been in that situation with a girlfriend. We solved it by bringing in reinforcements, another guy, it solved the problem. It just took her a long time to orgasm, and with the stamina of two men, we successfully achieved our goal.
Kuriousnomore
Certainly no Virgin
- Joined
- May 7, 2025
- Posts
- 119
I was with a girl for a while in your situation. I took it as a personal challenge to change that situation. A lot of patience, practice, experimentation, and being able to last as long as I needed to, and we finally found something that worked for her.
Strixaluco
Owned little owl
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2022
- Posts
- 18,007
Well, I've found hookups mostly disappointing anyway and worse than masturbation. It's not like you're necessarily missing on anything there.
A good, caring partner with whom you can get open communication working is much better. For good sex and otherwise.
That can get you over the awkwardness of oral, too. When you know you can trust them. Even in what they like to do. And who cares enough to be patient to learn what makes you cum - and possibly find ways you didn't even think of. Frankly, it's common that it takes some learning. I've had 2 long term partners who didn't need to learn how to make me get wet and cum, and 2 who didn't really learn that in 10 years, only succeeding occasionally... (with hookups it was worse) Similarly I've had to learn my partners. It's not always the same even with men, they may like and need surprisingly different things.
lifeis2short2b
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2019
- Posts
- 2,248
Your 26 years old. Probably dating same age. That's the problem.
Xxllrs69xx
Stay fit - fuck hard
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2024
- Posts
- 543
Totally. What I know now compared with what I knew at 26 is as vast as the ocean. You need patience and understanding that it will take time to find the right partner and expect to learn during the journey.You’re 26 years old. Probably dating same age. That's the problem.
big_cane_sugar
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2019
- Posts
- 401
That's really too bad. I'm a straight guy and I can assure you that at least some of us love the smell and taste of pussy, not to mention the joy of knowing that we're pleasing a woman we care about. Even if you never get into oral, I hope that someday you at least find someone who helps you realize how beautiful you are down there.
Also, if any straight guys are reading this and are not already aware of this: go the fuck down on your women. Warm them up properly by taking care of all the stuff that would distract them and then some romance and foreplay, and then get busy down there. Let them know how beautiful all their bits are, how good they smell and taste and feel, how much you like being down there, how happy you are that you make them feel good, and stay down there having a good time until they insist that you stop. Use any toys they enjoy too. Besides the pleasure of the act itself, you'll probably find it a very good investment.
Curious_2
Definitely no virgin
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2023
- Posts
- 668
I'll have a double of what he having
Curious_2
Definitely no virgin
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2023
- Posts
- 668
Well fuck me a"running in a bucket
BiCuriousWriter
No longer curious
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2025
- Posts
- 265
I had a gf once who had problems cumming unless from masturbation. Her wish was to cum from being licked. I loved the challenge, of course. We knew it would take time for us to find out how it would work best for her. Everyone is different, mastrubation is a lot about nerve endings and no one is wired the same. We would experience and let her give directions and I would try different things.
The very first time I also used fingers. And like you, she came when I fingered here, while focusing on her clit with my tongue, deep and towards the back. I don't remember if I was fingering fast but considering the position probably not.
She came from penetration when my cock was pointing to the back. That's how my cock brushed against the same area. When she would be on her back and I would penetrate her vagina from behind, my cock would be pointing downwards too much. Missionary, same. It did work when we were in missionary and I moved my body upwards so my cock would point more downwards. Difficult was that my cock was partly out of her so making speed often made my cock go out. One more thing that worked was when she was riding me and moved not up and down but forwards and then, especially backwards. Same thing: my cock would point towards her back.
Her sensitive bundle of nerve endings just happened to be there.
I would have loved to try anal, starting with toys, but she was hesitant and the relationship ended before we got any further.
What always helped was her getting very very horny. Long foreplay worked, mostly some role-play, something to make her edge until she was begging to be fucked.
Strixaluco
Owned little owl
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2022
- Posts
- 18,007
This is really a major point in all things sexual. Not to expect people to work in just the same way as others, but experiment and find out.
ChloeOfCascadia
Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2026
- Posts
- 91
42 years old, I've never not been able to get a woman to orgasm.
Okay, so, this bolded part, is something you can work on.
I felt similarly, I had heard horror stories in my youth from women who were simply my platonic friends, how nasty their boyfriends could be.
So, I made sure, whenever I ever anticipated having sex for the rest of my life, I would shower and wash myself very very thoroughly before the date, so I was clean enough that I wouldn't have objected to literally eating off of myself. If that were possible.
Next, if the date lasted a while, but we were at an apartment or a hotel with a shower, I'd jump in the shower before any sexy times, and absolutely refreshen myself, especially if I had gone to the bathroom or gotten sweaty in the meanwhile, which is bound to happen on a long date.
That way, whenever sex was about to happen, my skin everywhere on my body, was immaculately clean.
Okay, so, how can your vulva taste or smell funny even after that- well, you can have your pH levels out of balance, you might have a yeast infection, the female body has natural cycles of cleansing its own interior, so some days there may be odor or taste that there aren't on other days.
But decades of licking women's pussies has taught me, if she simply washes herself beforehand, 99 percent of the time, she looks and smells good and tastes neutral at worst. And it is sexy as hell.
Find yourself a partner who is mature (not even necessarily old, just mature in personality) who badly wants to pleasure a woman's vulva with their lips and tongue and fingers.
I'm someone like that, there's millions of us out there, I promise.
Okay, now, your partner, will tell you, if anything is wrong. Trust your partner. At worst, maybe you see a doctor for a temporary condition, it's never happened for me. Women who take care of themselves smell and taste great. You get used to how pussy tastes, it has a mild smell of the sea and it tastes slightly like fish, but it's so mild, who cares. For someone who badly wants pussy because they're sexually attracted to women, this shouldn't be a problem unless they're one of those infantile selfish guys who believe that because they're 20 years old and a jock, women should just suck their dicks and that's the whole relationship.
There's more to life than dating someone selfish.
Let me tell you something about what's out there- i would take a woman to dinner, a movie, have hours of fun conversation, wash myself thoroughly, kiss her passionately in the shower, wash her body myself, give her a massage, and lick her body anywhere. ANYWHERE.
Between her toes, if that's her thing- it's not a kink of mine, but, if that makes you feel good? Let me tickle and please you. That's my approach.
Okay, what about her nipples- hell yes
Pussy- hell yes
Lick her asshole? HELL YES
Listen, if someone really is attracted to women and the woman is clean, just let your partner appreciate your body.
Let them try, relax, and just lay back and enjoy the attention.
If it were funky smelling or tasting and offensive, they can stop, on their own. Just don't worry about it.
Here's other things about having sex with women that people who love women have to be aware of- they have periods. Sometimes, during sex, it can even start to flow, and it looks like the penis has been stabbing her, there's blood everywhere.
Who cares? Not someone who has experience loving women.
Some women have orgasms and lose bladder control. Okay, that's not common, but it wouldn't stop me. We put a plastic sheet down under the linen sheet, and towels, and then we still have a sexual good time, and then we clean up.
Hey, bonus, another shower. Downside, there's extra laundry, but the clean up takes seconds if you were prepared.
It's just pee. It's pretty inoffensive.
Look, some women have anal sex. You know what comes out of butts, so.... for people who have anal sex, they need to be prepared for a possible mess, and it's their own fault, you're sticking things in butts, it will happen eventually. This can be thwarted by enemas and cleaning out beforehand but, I've had anal sex done to me, and I've done it to others. It's my job to clean up before hand, and it's my job to deal with it if things get messy.
We're adults, these are bodies, they can be sexual, but otherwise, we are wild animals and body functions happen. Sometimes we're smelly, sometimes we're messy. We can wash up first, or after. That's OK.
And if I choose to put my tongue on your freshly washed vulva or clit or asshole, that's my choice. If it is inoffensive to me, then.... just relax and have fun.
The solution to the bolded, is 99 percent, choose a mature, reasonable partner who can guide you through experiences you're ashamed to try.
Shame goes away with experience, honey.
It does.
And with it comes sexual liberation and orgasms, lots and lots of orgasms.
I was with a woman who came just from nipple stimulation, snuggling and hugging and kissing in the shower and rubbing our chests together was intimate and erotic enough for her, I didn't even touch her clit, and she came just from that.
Find a partner who can unlock all your sexual desires, find all your orgasm spots, and just treats you like a queen.
Be choosy, vet the candidates carefully, and then, with the right person, be clean, and just trust your partner, and communicate.
If you're nervous and self conscious, I would tell you, you showered just now, right? You look great. You smell great. I want to lick you. May I?
And then, you allow it, and I just go slowly, and I tell you.... this is fine. You have nothing to worry about.
Now, your body can relax a bit. Okay, there's a person's mouth near your sensitive, private delicate places, but.... they're kissing you slowly, passionately, deeply, it doesn't tickle, it is relaxing, and makes your pussy throb, and they're swirling their wet tongue and lips around your pulsing, erect clit.
You stop caring about how self conscious you were.
Same as I stop caring about how my penis looks and smells, because, I washed it very very carefully and thoroughly. And if my partner is swirling their tongue around the tip, and hasn't moved away, and appears to be enthusiastic about this, I just relax and let go of my insecurities and self-consciousness.
I just accept the pleasurable feelings she is giving me.
I accept the intimacy.
Also, orgasms are great, but don't worry about that at first.
Find things that feel good. Really good. Have your partner do those, and, when it stops being fun, and no orgasm happened, just stop.
That's ok.
I have a difficult orgasm, several women I've been with have had difficult orgasms, that means you don't necessarily try to orgasm every time, until you and your partner get really skilled at it and know what usually works.
But. Do try when you learn how, obviously, you're worth it.
Anyway, a lot of this is psychological, you can reason your way past it and experience will make the latent fear and insecurity go away, and the more you relax and give in to the good feelings, the more the bad feelings will fade.
And, a lot of this is just choosing the right partner.
Here on lit, you can probably find someone near you who adores licking women's genitals. Easily. And they have experience and aren't going to scrunch up their nose and hide if you take your panties off and your pussy is clean.
They'll learn eventually, it's not your responsibility to teach them.
Some men will refuse to buy their partner tampons. Some men aren't men, they're little boys that are very tall and hairy.
Look, just find yourself a partner who doesn't act like an insecure little boy who is actually averse to vaginas and vulvas. That's silly.
Women don't have cooties and their pussies are delightful. So is yours, for the right person. Just find the right person and take this advice.
This is really common. I think the 'fix' is maybe different for different people but its something you should focus on. Do you watch porn with women receiving oral sex or is it something you avoid?
