Its pronounced ...

[BBWSubGrrrrl]

fire trucks ...

When I was younger I used to babysit my neighbors son, he was 2 or 3 at the time and could not pronounce his T sounds very well. One day I took him to a parade and all went well till the fire trucks went by and he got so excited he started yelling "fire fucks" repeatedly at the top of his lungs!!!
I think I was pretty much mortified at the time.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I know you asked me this somewhere so I'll answer it here.
Sleep depraved refers ...

Yeah, I can definitely understand that! Being one who enjoys playing with words, deprived, depraved, delayed, it all means the same thing, right?

 

[Ladythunder]

When I was younger I used to babysit my neighbors son, he was 2 or 3 at the time and could not pronounce his T sounds very well. One day I took him to a parade and all went well till the fire trucks went by and he got so excited he started yelling "fire fucks" repeatedly at the top of his lungs!!!
I think I was pretty much mortified at the time.

That reminds me...

Long ago, my son was around 2 with the same trouble. We drove a truck and took said truck to the grocery store one day. My darling son, ever the bright child he is, turned to my brand new boyfriend of approximately 2 months and proclaimed brightly, "Fuck off..."

But his tone was really what had me in stitches for he sounded so serious, as if he was actually cussing this guy out. Meanwhile, the guy wasn't sure wth to do which only made me laugh harder.

 

[pplwatching]

"NOT NONNOR DAD, NONNOR."

This is a fun, fun, game. My right ear is deaf as a stone and the left isn't perfect. If the kids are talking to me from another room I get to play "Sorry, I thought you said ..." with them (often intentionally, to great effect). If I can't make out what they're saying, I go for the most off the wall thing I can think of. That'll learn em' to yell from across the house.

When I play that game with my wife it seems to lead to trouble, but it so fun to push her buttons too.

 

[pplwatching]

Massage balls

My wife and I found these really cool massage balls. They're anodized aluminum with raised edges, weighted, and magnetic. They look like palm-sized versions of the big ball at Epcot Center, and when you roll them around it's like having 100 little nails scratching. I have been giving my daughter back massages with them to distract her from scratching her excema so much.

The other day we had guests over, when my daughter came and asked, "Daddy, my back itches. Will you ball me?" Cue the crickets chirping.

But wait, there's more. After some very hasty explaining and show and tell, our guests wanted to know where to get them. As it happens, we found them at a sex shop and I have no idea where else to get them. I made a hasty retreat to go massage my daughters back and let my wife tell them.

 

[Quoll]

When I was younger I used to babysit my neighbors son, he was 2 or 3 at the time and could not pronounce his T sounds very well. One day I took him to a parade and all went well till the fire trucks went by and he got so excited he started yelling "fire fucks" repeatedly at the top of his lungs!!!
I think I was pretty much mortified at the time.

Ah yes, young "Nonnor" has had his "big fuck" moments.

My wife's sister was known for asking for her "fuckin knife" when they sat down to dinner.

 

[BBWSubGrrrrl]

potty mouth...

Ah yes, young "Nonnor" has had his "big fuck" moments.

My wife's sister was known for asking for her "fuckin knife" when they sat down to dinner.

My son Xander also has his name issues ... "nanner" instead of Xander. But I also have somewhat of a potty mouth, so for about there months he ran around saying "holy shit" about everything! I finally broke him of it so now he just says "holy shoot" all the time.

 

[Quoll]

This is a fun, fun, game. My right ear is deaf as a stone and the left isn't perfect. If the kids are talking to me from another room I get to play "Sorry, I thought you said ..." with them (often intentionally, to great effect). If I can't make out what they're saying, I go for the most off the wall thing I can think of. That'll learn em' to yell from across the house.

When I play that game with my wife it seems to lead to trouble, but it so fun to push her buttons too.

Ooh devious, I love that, I'm sure there was a thread started a few years ago about ways to torment your children, I'll have to see if I can find it.

We often tell the kids we have bought a present for the good child, thats usually good for an hours argument.

My son Xander also has his name issues ... "nanner" instead of Xander. But I also have somewhat of a potty mouth, so for about there months he ran around saying "holy shit" about everything! I finally broke him of it so now he just says "holy shoot" all the time.

They're a great barometer of how often we say those things that we "supposedly" don't say.

 

[BBWSubGrrrrl]

They're a great barometer of how often we say those things that we "supposedly" don't say.

And AMEN to that!! Its hard to explain to a 3 year old that mommy can use that word but he can't!


I just thought of another good one... My oldest niece was about 2 when, in the middle of a family holiday barbeque, she disappeared for a little while and eventually came outside playing with an extremely LARGE vibrating "rocket" that she had found in my sisters bedroom. She was so proud... She had even figured out how to turn it on...

 

[Halp_pls]

And AMEN to that!! Its hard to explain to a 3 year old that mommy can use that word but he can't!


I just thought of another good one... My oldest niece was about 2 when, in the middle of a family holiday barbeque, she disappeared for a little while and eventually came outside playing with an extremely LARGE vibrating "rocket" that she had found in my sisters bedroom. She was so proud... She had even figured out how to turn it on...

I cuss alot. I can't seem to help it. So when my kids started repeating my words, I told thm that there were "grown-up" words, that grown-ups could say but kids couldn't. I hated the idea of "bad" words, because I didn't want them to think that people who use them are bad, so I chose a different name for them.

 

[BBWSubGrrrrl]

We've used "grown up words" with my sisters kids, but they are older. My "nanner" just turned 3 and it doesn't seem to make sense to him yet. But thanks for the reminder, I had almost forgotten that one.

 

[pplwatching]

My oldest niece was about 2 when, in the middle of a family holiday barbeque, she disappeared for a little while and eventually came outside playing with an extremely LARGE vibrating "rocket" that she had found in my sisters bedroom. She was so proud... She had even figured out how to turn it on...

When I was in high school some friends and I were hanging out at a (male) friend's house, throwing a wiffle ball around when it went under the couch. I reached for it and pulled out a vibrator.

My friend's dad took it and said "So that's where that went. Your mom's been looking all over for this." We had fun with that one for a looong time.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Qpet05]

when my niece was young she couldn't say her "L's" BUT was fascinated by time pieces.. we would take her to the store and AVOID the jewelry section because that is were said time pieces were sold.. one day they rearranged to store.. and we walked past her favorite thing.. and at the top of her two year old voice you heard.. "DADDY!! COCKS!! COCKS!!!" yeah.. we got out of that place pretty quickly!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

A friend of mine had a young daughter who could proudly recite the alphabet. Everyone always thought it was so cute, they'd call upon her to come recite the alphabet for any newcomer. So I'm sitting at the dinner table as we were finishing up the evening meal and the topic of lil' Missy reciting the alphabet comes up and they have her do it for me. No one could understand why I started rolling on the floor with laughter!

Here, let me do it for you and see if anyone catches it ...

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L-oh, Men-oh, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

Gotta love the little cherubs, eh?

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

My spawn were 7 and 3.5 yo when I separated from their father. That Christmas I went away to meet up with two of my GFs from where we had been living... my brother and his then GF were watching the kids for the 2 days I was gone. I come home and hear the story about how the VERY French GF (who's a ped nurse) was helping the youngest out of the tub and into pjs and brushing teeth. He's had eczema from birth, and can get a patch of irritation in the most awkward place. He's digging and scratching at his crotch and she asks him if there was a problem. His reply... "no.. my tentacles just itchy..." Due to the language barrier, she asked him to repeat it... he did... same way. She still didn't understand so asked my brother (who's a paramedic) to help *translate* for her. The little one repeated what he said and my brother was just as confused as his GF... so asked my son to show him what he meant (charades are fun sometimes!) so my son pulled his pjs down and pointed to his... *tentacles*... then says.. "my tentacles.. you know.. here in my scallops."

That took some explaining. We'd had an anatomy discussion a few days before I'd left town... testicles and scrotum. My brother married the GF.. and now, 4 yrs later, she still gets the giggles when she sees an octopus.


And.. not to leave out the oldest son... when he was about 4 or 5 we lived in a small house... about 650sf. There were only 2 bedrooms, so the kids shared the same room, and ours was just across the hallway. Nap time sometimes meant that they were separated (the little one was less than a year so naps were very important) and we'd put the older one in our room, which we did one day. We were down in the living room, directly under our bedroom, visiting with some friends when we all heard this wierd noise that sounded a bit like a low rumble. We were on a busy street, in the flight path to the airport, and living in a military community... so it could have been anything. But the wierd thing about it was the noise was directly over our heads against the outter wall of the house. Suddenly, for whatever reason, it occured to me what the noise was and I went running upstairs to our bed room to find my son laying sideways on the bed with his arms hanging over the other side *fishing*. He sits up and in the process turns around and show's me what he'd found. He says "I call it my heartbreaker.. look.. it has a heart on it and everything!" I look and I'm sure the blood went rushing into my face.... I did my best to remain as neutral as possible as I explained that it was nap time and told him he needed to go to sleep. I asked him where he'd found his new treasure and he told me in the bedside drawer. Told him that he needed to stay out of mommy and daddy's drawers, and then I put the *heart breaker* away. Up high. Where he couldn't see it or reach it. Ever. Then went back downstairs and had to explain that the sound we'd heard was actually him *walking* the corded egg vibrator along the baseboards. He was right tho. It did have a heart on it... the speed control is shaped like one.

 

[Denae]

My boyfriend and I were babysitting our boss's grandson. An adorable little 3-year-old tyke. J told the little guy that he had the cutest little freckled face. And Michael emphatically replied, "I do not have a fucker face!"

Of course, Michael told our boss that we said he had a fucker face.

 

[Quoll]

My boyfriend and I were babysitting our boss's grandson. An adorable little 3-year-old tyke. J told the little guy that he had the cutest little freckled face. And Michael emphatically replied, "I do not have a fucker face!"

Of course, Michael told our boss that we said he had a fucker face.

Same one?

 

[Denae]

Same one?

No. (LOL) this was years and years ago. The former boyfriend in the story is actually deceased.

 

[Quoll]

No. (LOL) this was years and years ago. The former boyfriend in the story is actually deceased.

Well know I feel like a fucker face.
Have you been well Den?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

One of my best mate's kids (I forget which) was getting tired and cranky in the supermarket so I offered to carry him. I picked him up and sat him on my hip like a usually did, whereupon he said in the loud, high pitched voice that only kids have...

"You have hurt my winkle!" Cue deathly silence all around us as I gently put the kid back down.

Seems that unbeknown to me, he had stopped wearing nappies (diapers) during the day and no longer had the same padding around his genitals.

Oops.

 

[Quoll]

One of my best mate's kids (I forget which) was getting tired and cranky in the supermarket so I offered to carry him. I picked him up and sat him on my hip like a usually did, whereupon he said in the loud, high pitched voice that only kids have...

"You have hurt my winkle!" Cue deathly silence all around us as I gently put the kid back down.

Seems that unbeknown to me, he had stopped wearing nappies (diapers) during the day and no longer had the same padding around his genitals.

Oops.

A just for the word nappies, I see it written so rarely what with all these yanks floating around.

 

[DiscusDave]

Not as funny as the rest of these, but here's a situation that actually involved me being pretty dumb.

I have a large family that includes 16 cousins. (Family reunions are always a blast) But the age range for the cousins spans over a decade. As such, some of the conversations at family gatherings were appropriate for some of the cousins but not for all. I am the second youngest of the bunch, and when I was about 4 I overheard a couple of my high school aged cousins talking one time about genitalia and sex. The sex talks just flew right over my head but I heard one word in particular that intrigued me.... "vagina." At the time I misheard them though due to their over emphasizing the consonant and thought the word they had pronounced was "pagina." Now this topic isn't really talked about much for 4 year olds, so I just tucked it t that back of my brain for later use. the next time genitalia came up in conversation for me was almost 3 years later. And, not knowing otherwise, I discussed freely about "paginas."

Needless to say, that laughter and/or blank looks I received made it clear that the mysterious "pagina" was not an real thing.

However...I feel certain, that somewhere there's a pasture where betwixt the grazing unicorns a pair of big foot are discussing paginas.

 

[carrie-on]

When my daughter was little and just learning to walk,she would fall and I would kiss her boo-boos on her hands and knees. When she fell on her butt,she came running and said "Mommy,will you kiss my butt?" My husband rolled on the floor laughing.
A couple of years later, I told her to go pick up the toys in the playroom and she fussed about it. Finally, I told her,very exasperated "Get your patootie in there and pick up your toys!!" Her older sister came home from school about 10 mins later, and I sent her in to help her. I'm not sure what she said when she went in there, but all of a sudden I hear the younger one yell, "Well, you just KISS my patootie!!" I had to go outside because I was laughing so hard.

 

[carrie-on]

My internet connection's toast, or I would have replied sooner. Thanks for your stories. I need to head home, but in the spirit of things ...

My wife and I were going at it pretty good one night, complete with appropriate sound effects. The kids were _supposed_ to be asleep (it was 2am after all). My daughter knocked on our door, "Turn the TV down. It's so loud it's waking me up!" The TV wasn't on (and I don't think we were _that_ loud).

A few days later my daughter was walking around the house moaning, doing a pretty good imitation of my wife. My wife, mortified beyond words, comes and tells me "You need to talk to your daughter."

Not quite the same thing, but funny anyway.

LOL My youngest daughter (whose bedroom was next to ours) Says that we are the reason she always had the radio on at night whenshe was a kid.