July 2015 Challenge: The Imitation Game

[GuiltyPleasure]

Who is EllenMore? Carrie in a Guy Fawkes mask? A new talent with good (Canadian) taste? Inquiring minds, ya know.......

 

[greenmountaineer]

Who is EllenMore? Carrie in a Guy Fawkes mask? A new talent with good (Canadian) taste? Inquiring minds, ya know.......

I don't know, but #38 I thought was outstanding:


http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=69424783&postcount=39


I thought the title highly imaginative. I recall Wyoming as mostly high desert, except for the northwestern mountainous region. The stark contrast with the lake landscape of the source poem really focused my reading, looking for analogies between the two. The image of someone addressing the reader from the beyond as a someone or something metaphysical vs. someone alive, but empty, and compared to a vast expense for me, at least, provided a lot of possibilities.

Like Always Humgry I felt a bit let down by the last line, mostly because it didn't seem as well connected with the source poem as I thought the other images were. In fact, I think the response poem might have been better without.

Nonetheless, an engrossing read from a poet who knows how to intrigue.

 

[bflagsst]

I own up to the parodies that some people seem to take exception to.

Your Ruddy Kipling was a well-done imitation. I think the parody or homage is easier to slip into since we're more used to doing that than trying to imitate. I couldn't get myself to imitate one poet. I slipped in one or two others out of habit.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Your Ruddy Kipling was a well-done imitation. I think the parody or homage is easier to slip into since we're more used to doing that than trying to imitate. I couldn't get myself to imitate one poet. I slipped in one or two others out of habit.

Thanks very much and oh by the way I did the Sestina because Tzara asked for one but I wasn't going to do anything long winded!

 

[EllenMore]

Who is EllenMore?

What a strange question. I am myself, of course.

Some have wondered about why certain poems were chosen as models. The Creeley poem appealed to me first of all because of the Black Mountain association. I sometimes wish I was old enough to have been a student there. It also interested me because, as a woman, it seemed rather callous, and Creeley himself was something of a jerk in his personal relationships. Rather goatish.

Mainly, though, it was short and easy to imitate.

The Crozier poem was chosen because she is a writer whose work I quite love. That she happens to be Canadian is coincidence.

I don't know Equinoxe, though perhaps I should. I first learned of Ono no Komachi through an interest in the Hyakunin isshu, in which she is one of the few female poets represented. There is nothing quite like the early erotic poems of Japanese female poets. They are erotic, wistful, very elegant, sad, not sad. Wonderfully compressed lyricism. My imitations, which Equinoxe delicately does not comment on, in no way do Komachi justice.

And then, Margaret Atwood. I liked the poem. It made me think about how I think about myself, which led to the response poem, which probably isn't very good.

I especially liked the poems by Angeline (the Yeats and Brodsky imitations), Tristesse2's Darwin poem and the Jong imitation, and most all of greenmountaineer's offerings. His dog poem ("Belle") made me cry (as does the Jeffers original).

I enjoyed the challenge and look forward to Magnetron's August challenge.

 

[Trixareforkids]

What a strange question. I am myself, of course.

This made me LOL, Alice in Wonderland?

 

[Equinoxe]

I don't know Equinoxe, though perhaps I should. I first learned of Ono no Komachi through an interest in the Hyakunin isshu, in which she is one of the few female poets represented. There is nothing quite like the early erotic poems of Japanese female poets. They are erotic, wistful, very elegant, sad, not sad. Wonderfully compressed lyricism. My imitations, which Equinoxe delicately does not comment on, in no way do Komachi justice.

That I spoke only about your choice of inspirations and said nothing of your poems was perhaps indelicate of me rather. I must beg your indulgence, however; I admit I was so overjoyed to see an East Asian poet amongst everyone's inspirations—Ono no Komachi no less—that I may have become fixed unduly upon that, but I also haven't felt up to commenting in depth and don't wish to comment in less detail than anyone deserves.

In any case, I'm pleased to 'meet' you—and it seems that many here are very pleased by your participation in this challenge.

 

[Magnetron]

I enjoyed the challenge and look forward to Magnetron's August challenge.

I might jump the gun and announce it before Aug 1st !!!!! he said with many exclamation spunks.

 

[Lyricalli]

I might jump the gun and announce it before Aug 1st !!!!! he said with many exclamation spunks.

Premature explanation?

 

[Magnetron]

Premature explanation?

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're the renegades of this atomic age
This atomic age of renegades
Renegades of this atomic age
This atomic age of renegades

Since the Prehistoric ages and the days of ancient Greece
Right down through the Middle Ages
Planet earth kept going through changes
And then the Renaissance came and times continued to change
Nothing stayed the same but there were always renegades
Like Chief Sitting Bull, Tom Paine
Dr. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X
They were renegades of their time and age
So many renegades

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From a different solar system many many galaxies away
We are the force of another creation
A new musical revelation
And we're on this musical mission to help the others listen
And groove from land to land singin' electronic chants like
Zulu nation
Revelations
Destroy our nations
Destroy our nations

Now renegades are the people with their own philosophies
They change the course of history
Everyday people like you and me
We're the renegades we're the people
With our own philosophies
We change the course of history
Everyday people like you and me
C'mon

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poppin', sockin', rockin' puttin' a side of hip-hop
Because where we're goin' there ain't no stoppin'
Poppin', sockin', rockin', puttin' a side of hip-hop
Because where we're goin' there ain't no stoppin'
Poppin', sockin', rockin' puttin' a side of hip-hop
'Cause we're poppin', sockin', rockin' puttin' a side of hip-hop
Poppin', sockin', rockin' puttin' a side of hip-hop

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're teachers of the spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And not of empty popping
We're blessed with the force and the sight of electronics
With the bass, and the treble the horns and our vocals
'Cause every time I pop into the beat we get fresh

There was a time when our music
Was something called the Bay Street beat
People would gather from all around
To get down to the big sound
You had to be a renegade in those days
To take a man to the dance floor

Say jam sucker (jam)
Say jam sucker (jam)
Say groove sucker (groove)
Say groove sucker (groove)
Say dance sucker (dance)
Say dance sucker (dance)
Now move sucker (move)
Now move sucker (move)
Say jam sucker (jam)
Say jam sucker (jam)
Say groove sucker (groove)
Say groove sucker (groove)
Say dance sucker (dance)
Say dance sucker (dance)
Now move sucker (move)
Now move sucker (move)

We're the renegades of spunk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lyricalli]

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear lord, the clean up in here is going to take weeks.

 

[Angeline]

Folks could we please keep this thread on topic? We all wander off topic, but the point of this thread is the imitation challenge.

 

[Angeline]

I'm working on my comments, but I have a question first. How did you choose the poet(s) to imitate? A favorite poet, poem, lyric? Was there any poet you rejected because you found imitating them too hard? I tried ee cummings and went through a bunch of poems trying to find one easy enough for me to imitate. They were all impossible for me to respond to in a way that I felt worked. Maybe I just need to read more of him....

 

[Angeline]

Some favorites~

Butters response to Whitman's Song of Myself, follows on, is masterful writing. It feels faithful to the source poem in the listings and the expansion of the topic from tiny discreet points to huge statements. It does this without directly imitating anything (or maybe obviously--I didn't catch anything too close to a paraphrase). It really stays on topic, too, which makes it cohesive, especially hard for longer pieces of writing imo.

I like all of Under Your Spell's entries (and I think I recognize the Flanders Field response from before...maybe), but the humorous entries are just delightful. I especially like Down in the Troldrums, Odour of June (which also felt familiar), Conversation (the sestina), and Harrods' January Sale. They are all faithful to the source but original and laugh-out-loud funny.

Dinner calls...back with more comments soon.

 

[Magnetron]

I chose to be an oddball and did my best to channel the intensity and vocal style of the band Rage Against The Machine, using the song lyrics "Renegades of Funk" as inspiration ( which as far as lyrics go, is pretty dull writing ).

Many things I write are based on actual encounters with other people on the Nets.

"It Takes Two To Ghost Dance" is a phrase I said to a Native American who was trying to stir up a fuss about people wanting to ban the Confederate Flag while Indians have suffered plenty under both the Stars and Bars and the American Flag. As much as I agreed with his point of view, I told him he was better off not living in the past.

Turns out he was only interested in having someone to troll in order to keep the topic alive and prolongue his opportunity to bash the "White Man". You troll me - I troll you back - and chances are, I'm going to walk away with a poem or lyrics.

So ...... much of what I said to him is engrained into my lyrics.

I asked Tzara to do my response and source backwards so as not to prejudice anyone familiar with RATM when it came to reading my writing. If my writing didn't scream RATM, then I didn't do my job.

You should see a parallel between source and response revolving around being different from the crowd.

Native Americans lacked an overall spiritual coping mechanism to deal with having their culture(s) being decimated and land taken away followed up with systematic Christianization in schools. What you have are generations of Indians conditioned to distrust the U.S. Government and everyone who is not an Indian. Only a renegade can escape such a one dimensional upbringing in a world that has changed and moved on.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

@Angeline: I chose Heine because I have spent much of my life translating his poetry and I feel very close to him. At first I was afraid to participate, thinking that I might produce a parody, but a dear friend persuaded me to re-think the exercise.

 

[Trixareforkids]

The majority of my favorites are free verse poets, I did think of expanding on a verse I did of Cohen's Thousand Kisses Deep, but I had a lot of trouble with inspiration for this challenge. I went through a lot of pieces but couldn't finish anything except the Pat Schneider piece. My response falls short I know, my muse just wasn't in the mood

I agree with whomever said we should make this a regular challenge like the 5 senses.

 

[Angeline]

I chose to be an oddball and did my best to channel the intensity and vocal style of the band Rage Against The Machine, using the song lyrics "Renegades of Funk" as inspiration ( which as far as lyrics go, is pretty dull writing ).

Many things I write are based on actual encounters with other people on the Nets.

"It Takes Two To Ghost Dance" is a phrase I said to a Native American who was trying to stir up a fuss about people wanting to ban the Confederate Flag while Indians have suffered plenty under both the Stars and Bars and the American Flag. As much as I agreed with his point of view, I told him he was better off not living in the past.

Turns out he was only interested in having someone to troll in order to keep the topic alive and prolongue his opportunity to bash the "White Man". You troll me - I troll you back - and chances are, I'm going to walk away with a poem or lyrics.

So ...... much of what I said to him is engrained into my lyrics.

I asked Tzara to do my response and source backwards so as not to prejudice anyone familiar with RATM when it came to reading my writing. If my writing didn't scream RATM, then I didn't do my job.

You should see a parallel between source and response revolving around being different from the crowd.

Native Americans lacked an overall spiritual coping mechanism to deal with having their culture(s) being decimated and land taken away followed up with systematic Christianization in schools. What you have are generations of Indians conditioned to distrust the U.S. Government and everyone who is not an Indian. Only a renegade can escape such a one dimensional upbringing in a world that has changed and moved on.

I find your lyric equal in intensity and passion to the RATM one. And I feel simpatico with your topic. I've worked with teenagers on an Indian reservation (in Wisconsin), and it is hard to get past the distrust and apathy. Being on the reservation one quickly sees why. And yet the kids are great and really are like most teenagers if you can break down the wall even a little. Like children of migrant workers (who I've also taught), they are just so trapped by their circumstances. (Sorry. Soapbox off. )

@Angeline: I chose Heine because I have spent much of my life translating his poetry and I feel very close to him. At first I was afraid to participate, thinking that I might produce a parody, but a dear friend persuaded me to re-think the exercise.

I am impressed by your ability to translate and produce a derivative poem that seems to be infused with the spirit of the source poem.

The majority of my favorites are free verse poets, I did think of expanding on a verse I did of Cohen's Thousand Kisses Deep, but I had a lot of trouble with inspiration for this challenge. I went through a lot of pieces but couldn't finish anything except the Pat Schneider piece. My response falls short I know, my muse just wasn't in the mood

I agree with whomever said we should make this a regular challenge like the 5 senses.

That was me. I'll start a thread soon--unless someone else beats me to it. But this is a challenge I want to keep trying.

ETA: Maybe we can just keep the response poem going. I'll see if Tzara is ok with that as it's his thread.

 

[Magnetron]

I find your lyric equal in intensity and passion to the RATM one. And I feel simpatico with your topic. I've worked with teenagers on an Indian reservation (in Wisconsin), and it is hard to get past the distrust and apathy. Being on the reservation one quickly sees why. And yet the kids are great and really are like most teenagers if you can break down the wall even a little. Like children of migrant workers (who I've also taught), they are just so trapped by their circumstances. (Sorry. Soapbox off. )

What a co-inkydink; I've been living in WI for about 5 years now.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Butters response to Whitman's Song of Myself, follows on, is masterful writing. It feels faithful to the source poem in the listings and the expansion of the topic from tiny discreet points to huge statements. It does this without directly imitating anything (or maybe obviously--I didn't catch anything too close to a paraphrase). It really stays on topic, too, which makes it cohesive, especially hard for longer pieces of writing imo.

I like all of Under Your Spell's entries (and I think I recognize the Flanders Field response from before...maybe), but the humorous entries are just delightful. I especially like Down in the Troldrums, Odour of June (which also felt familiar), Conversation (the sestina), and Harrods' January Sale. They are all faithful to the source but original and laugh-out-loud funny.

Dinner calls...back with more comments soon.

Thank you, yes I did use a few of my old ones. I like doing humorous poetry as you know of old, but there was nowhere I could sneak in Ode to the Dung beetle!

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, yes I did use a few of my old ones. I like doing humorous poetry as you know of old, but there was nowhere I could sneak in Ode to the Dung beetle!

That is your best-known one, but those I mentioned are wonderful. Imho anyway.

 

[Angeline]

What a co-inkydink; I've been living in WI for about 5 years now.

I was in Menominee.

 

[Magnetron]

I was in Menominee.

That's perty darn near to where I am.

Which is in out in the wilderness far away from society; in a teepee equipped with broadband.

 

[Angeline]

That's perty darn near to where I am.

Which is in out in the wilderness far away from society; in a teepee equipped with broadband.

I was working with some teenagers from the reservation.

I am sorry for being such a slacker, but I really do want to keep commenting on my favorites. Life gets in the way.

I love reading anything Ellen More writes. She's consistently imaginative and precise, which is a pretty awesome combination when you think about it. I especially like Orgasm, which echoes the original even as it goes in a way different direction. It's erotic and thoughtful at the same time. Death and the Number 4 is measured as if the form holds together all the pain. It's wrenching and beautiful. Self-Portrait as Wyoming might be my favorite. She just rolls those lines out and unfolds a narrative that goes from a picture being painted, to a photograph, to how it represents the narrator. Just wow! (But I want to take out the "somehow" in the last line.)

Ok.Back again after I think about that other challenge for a while!

 

[greenmountaineer]

When I read well-written poems, as these two are from Edna St. Vincent Millay and Angeline,

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=69700903&postcount=45

I like to pick out their unique feature(s). What was striking to me was the use of proper nouns in these. Having grown up there, I'm familiar with the Jersey Shore, and as a New Englander by choice for the last 40+ years, I'm familiar with Truro on the Cape. Both places conjure up enjoyable images.

Less familiar with Shillinstone Hill and Stinson Beach, I looked both up, and once I did, it added a whole new meaning to both poems. You may find your own, but for me it represented how what's here and now triggers a desire for something else, something more.