Ladies, turn him on when you're not in the mood

[Edensgarden]

Wow, I'm surprised by the negative comments. Isn't this a fetish and sexuality forum that's supposed to be fun? Aren't we supposed to be turned on by the words, rather than criticizing the discussion? For the women who are saying "not if I'm not in the mood", the whole point is to support your mate despite your state of mind. This is non sexist, as I believe men need ideas on how to satisfy their wives when she's horny, and he isn't.

In a perfect world, both people would always be in harmony and always be in the mood. We all know that isn't reality. Sometimes sex is about giving to the other person, and not being so focused on yourself. Yes, you're not in the mood, but it's a wonderful gift to your soul mate to meet his her needs despite your current mood. The world would be a happier and more sexually pleased place if people realize that giving is just as important as receiving. Why not do something for your man that will have him reminiscing and fantasizing about you for weeks or months?

I would love to hear a woman's view of what she would love to experience, when he's not in the mood. For men, the idea masturbating to his wife's pussy is a turn-on. Let's use the example of a guy that's had a bad day at the office, and he can get his mind into love making mode. Ladies, you're horny and you want to get off, how can your not-in-the-mood man help?

I don't think people here are being as negative as they simply are being honest. I think your idea/fetish has some merit, but I also feel it might be a bit unrealistic.

When I'm not in the mood, I still want him to get off. Period. Now what exactly does that mean for me or us?

I am one who enjoys giving head, so generally that will be an option. I also get off on watching him matsturbate. I love a man's hands and find the rhythmic stroking so arousing. So in your example above, I would be lying or sitting next to him in a trance. I may decide to bend over and tease the head of his cock with my tongue for a moment or I may just stare mesmerized as he moans and erupts. I never know until I'm in the moment. Lastly, when I'm not in the mood, sometimes I'll lay on my stomach naked and he rubs his cock all over me until he cums. He rubs it up my thighs, along the side of my back and then down again ever so gently. Back and forth until he finally gets to my ass and comes in between my cheeks.

 

[TalkToMeInSB]

I don't think people here are being as negative as they simply are being honest. I think your idea/fetish has some merit, but I also feel it might be a bit unrealistic.

When I'm not in the mood, I still want him to get off. Period. Now what exactly does that mean for me or us?

I am one who enjoys giving head, so generally that will be an option. I also get off on watching him matsturbate. I love a man's hands and find the rhythmic stroking so arousing. So in your example above, I would be lying or sitting next to him in a trance. I may decide to bend over and tease the head of his cock with my tongue for a moment or I may just stare mesmerized as he moans and erupts. I never know until I'm in the moment. Lastly, when I'm not in the mood, sometimes I'll lay on my stomach naked and he rubs his cock all over me until he cums. He rubs it up my thighs, along the side of my back and then down again ever so gently. Back and forth until he finally gets to my ass and comes in between my cheeks.

You, my dear, are wonderful! To be there for him like that when you're not in the mood. To be a receptacle for his passion, in his time of need, shows him how much you care and support him. Truly a treasure!

 

[SkylarFalling]

This sounds like a lot of effort for a partner who isn't in the mood. And I'm pretty sure that in an ideal relationship, you shouldn't have to make excuses if you don't want to fuck.... it's cool to just not fancy one sometimes.

But I'm not hating, honest. The anger/scorn in a lot of these comments seems to stem from the impression that you're one of those guys who seems to think you are entitled to her help in getting you off, even if she doesn't feel like it. Maybe you are one of those guys, I don't know, and I hope not - but I didn't think your post came across like that, I think it just wasn't terribly well thought out, given your title set people up for something completely different.

I like the ideas behind it. I really think its a good thing for relationships for both partners to be allowed to masturbate (and watch porn if that's ok with everyone) if one doesn't feel like sex, and not have to hide it. I'd be gutted if I got with a guy and suddenly masturbating was no longer ok. Guys who are in relationships where it isn't ok probably don't hear that them cumming is sexy very much either, which makes me sad.

 

[subwannabe]

I'm not sure the OP realizes that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Their brains are wired differently. If a woman really isn't in the mood then in most cases you aren't going to get her there, at least in spirit anyway. I for one don't want a mercy fuck (or whatever you want to call it) from someone that has zero heart in her efforts. On the other hand, guys are very visual and most of the time you can get them in the mood unless they are having a really, really, really, really bad day. It's just not real life and realistic to expect everything to be 50/50.

 

[SkylarFalling]

I'm not sure the OP realizes that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Their brains are wired differently. If a woman really isn't in the mood then in most cases you aren't going to get her there, at least in spirit anyway. I for one don't want a mercy fuck (or whatever you want to call it) from someone that has zero heart in her efforts. On the other hand, guys are very visual and most of the time you can get them in the mood unless they are having a really, really, really, really bad day. It's just not real life and realistic to expect everything to be 50/50.

Some men are from Mars and some women are from Venus but meeting halfway between them is quite a lot of fun.

I always like to make sure that my guy knows that it is cool if he doesn't want to, because the idea that men think about sex every seven seconds must result in a lot of pressure to be devastatingly horny every time anyone removes any clothing.

If she wants to help out because she likes it when he gets off even if she doesn't want one, then that is awesome, but I agree that realistically, if she really doesn't want any you're probably better off leaving her to it.

 

[SwtSassyNrse26]

Not gross or scary?.......More like deliscious and fascinating. I know someone who is SO hot I would finger paint his "stuff" on my new car.......Oh yes I would. Call me a freak if ya like but don't go harshin on my mallow

 

[RaynieJ]

Having reflected on this thread it doesn't make sense to me:

"It's an age old problem, he wants it all the time..and you want it some of the time."
Sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes I want to get off but I don't want to have sex with him.


"I'm a guy, and it's true that we have this real need to ejaculate often. For me, I can last about two days before I need to get off."
WTF does "need" to get off mean?


"Here's an idea for women..."
You are pitching this as fun and 'something to do when you don't want to have sex'.


"The next time your guy is in the mood, and you aren't, rather than make excuses"
Your normative gender ideas are disturbing.


"Honey I can tell you're horny, and I bet it would feel so good to shoot a big load."
Ew...

"You need this, particularly at the end of a long day."
Really? You know I work as well right?

"(... diologue ...) I'm not wearing underwear"
Wait? Now I have to anticipate not wanting to have sex?

"so I'm just going to lean back and spread my legs. I want to see your eyes feasting on my pussy, while I see your strong hand wrap itself around your stiff cock."
So, here you have established that I have to sit in a particular position and that I have to look at them. That means I can't do any physical activity, and I can't do anything that involved looking at something. Also, I have to talk a lot. So pretty much you are suggesting that because 'my guy' wants to 'get off' I should put aside everything I'm doing.

"(... diologue ...) (You're now going to tell him to cum. What you say next is very important)"
I also apparently need to memorize a script.

"Baby, I want you to shoot your load on my pussy."
So, I'm also going to end up with spunk all over my pussy. This "easy" thing just gets progressively more expensive.

"I want to see that beautiful cum on me, and I want to see you so satisfied and happy. You work so hard"
*sigh*

"(... diologue ...) I'm going to touch my clit, (... diologue ...)"
So, I'm actually not engaging in no sexual activity.

"(It's about to happen)"
Because he's on a timer...

"(... diologue ...) (Now smear the cum around your pussy, so he knows you're turned on, not turned off by his orgasm). (... diologue ...)"
I have to was my hands as well. Also, there's a good chance I now have to change and wash my clothes.

"Women never know what to say when men have an orgasm. This is a time when we're little boys again, and we love to hear your encouragement."
Ew...

"Our society has made male cum a bad thing (e.g, the debate about swallowing), and you'll score huge points by being encouraging, and saying nice things about his cumming."
Teh poor menz...


So, I get that this is obviously some sort of fantasy for you. That's cool. I hope your SO appreciates that and you have it fulfilled. However, don't pretend that this is doing us women some sort of favor.
Check it out. It is easier to let him titfuck me that do what you described. Hell, I could even watch TV while he did that. What you are actually describing is "here is a fantasy for a completely one sided sexual encounter", which is of course the exact opposite of "here's something for you ladies".

This was absolutely hysterical. I laughed out loud, literally, so thank you. <claps>

That being said, I guess I agree with everyone else here. While this little scenario is pretty hot and would work in an ideal world, I'm pretty sure that if my man wanted to get off and I wasn't in the mood for sex, I'd not put so much work into it. I'd probably let him tit fuck me, like someone else said, with an occasional lick here and there. The fantasy is great in its own right, but to me it sounds like something a HORNY woman would do, not one who is not.

 

[HoldYouDown]

It's an age old problem, he wants it all the time..and you want it some of the time. I'm a guy, and it's true that we have this real need to ejaculate often. For me, I can last about two days before I need to get off.

Here's an idea for women, which I promise, will absolutely drive your man wild. You won't have to do much, and I'm quite certain your man will: a) Have one of the best orgasms ever, and b) Will be something he masturbates about later (rather than the so-called teens on porn site)s. Heck, I think you'll have fun with this also!

The next time your guy is in the mood, and you aren't, rather than make excuses simply do the following. I'm going to present it as a role-play, so you get the whole picture.

You: Honey I can tell you're horny, and I bet it would feel so good to shoot a big load. You need this, particularly at the end of a long day. I love the look on your face after you've cum in front of me. Rather than our normal sex, I'd like to propose something different. It would turn me immensely to see you turned on by looking at me naked, and for you to pleasure yourself like I'm a porn star. I want to see your big strong hand on your cock, I want to see your muscles on your forearm, and I want you staring at my pussy like I'm a porn star. I'm not wearing underwear, so I'm just going to lean back and spread my legs. I want to see your eyes feasting on my pussy, while I see your strong hand wrap itself around your stiff cock. (You're now adjusting your position)

Honey, can you see my pussy? Can you see that I'm getting wet just from you staring at me. I love when you adore me and make me feel so beautiful. Just look at my pussy lips, aren't they hot? Now, stroke yourself, and show me how turned on your are. I know you usually hold back to make it last longer, but this time I want you to just let it fly. I can tell you're getting closer, and I can't wait to see that silky smooth cum. I'm gad you're using astro-gel, because I know it feels like the inside of my pussy as your stroking. (You're now going to tell him to cum. What you say next is very important)

Baby, I want you to shoot your load on my pussy. I want to see that beautiful cum on me, and I want to see you so satisfied and happy. You work so hard, and I just love it when you shoot out for me. Look at my pussy while you're stroking, and imagine how much I'll love feeling your hot cum on me. I'm going to touch my clit, but I'm not going to masturbate. This is about you, and I don't want the attention. I really makes me feel like I'm with a strong man when I see cum like yours. (It's about to happen)

There you go baby, I can see you're about to cum. Stroke it for me, shoot it on me, just show me your cum. (As it's happening) There you go baby, pump it out, get it all out. Oh baby, that's perfect, keep stroking it. Wow, that is such a great load. You're so hot when you cum, I love seeing you like this. You look so strong, and your cock was as big as I've ever seen it get. (Now smear the cum around your pussy, so he knows you're turned on, not turned off by his orgasm). Oh baby, that was so hot, I love seeing your strong hand on your cock, and I love knowing just looking at my pussy was enough to get you off. Wow, my man is so hot.

One important point. Women never know what to say when men have an orgasm. This is a time when we're little boys again, and we love to hear your encouragement. Our society has made male cum a bad thing (e.g, the debate about swallowing), and you'll score huge points by being encouraging, and saying nice things about his cumming. To you, it's not gross or scary, rather it's, something that turns you on, particularly when it happens because of you. Show his that you LOVE when he gets off. I promise, he'll look forward to the next time you're not in the mood.

I think you did a good job explaining this but your approach was presumptuous. Better to describe it as something you enjoy and see who agrees with you. Based on the level of snark in some of the responses, not everyone wants to be "advised" on their sex life.

If your woman is game to do this when she's not in the mood, congratulations. Sounds like you've got a good dynamic.