Leahaven

[LeaHaven]

I was responding to a dm, and I wrote this:

Someone told me that I should consider creating a blog on bdsmlr. Never heard of it, but I went looking, and OMFG!! The pictures were horrific! I wish I had never seen them! So, I don't think we are bdsm people. I don't know what we are, but I am never going anywhere near what I saw in those pictures!

The person who made the suggestion warned me that I might see stuff I did not like, but he said I didn't have to visit those extreme sites. I could keep to my own blog. That is all fine and good, but the point is that, having seen all that, I don't think Robbie and I are bdsm people, and I not sure this thread is in the right place. From what I have read on here, I think we are flr.

I did not create a blog. I started this thread instead, and I really appreciate the comments and the dm's you all have contributed. Some of you have suggested I "train" Robbie, but I hope you know that you have trained me. Two years ago, I had never even heard of this stuff. Over a year ago, I saw a picture on this site of a guy's junk in a cage, and I was like, WTF??? Look where we are now.

 

[cascadiabound]

BDSM is a huge range of activities, preferences and behaviors. You might check the stickies at the top of this forum (BDSM talk) for some helpful resources and definitions. I think of the range of BDSM like a buffet. It has lots of options - stuff I love, stuff I wanna eat all the time, stuff I want occasionally and stuff I'm allergic to or just don't like. I get to pick exactly what I want and leave the rest.

I checked out bdsmlr (quite awhile ago) - it's not a site that works for me either. And similarly there are some threads I avoid on Lit and boards I rarely if ever visit. There are people who post things I find to be not of any interest to me (and actually upset me because of the violence or extreme kinks) and I have put them on iggy so I don't have to see their posts.

I know you are trying to figure out if you put this thread in the right place. I think you did. While you could have the mods move your thread to Fet or to the Playground, I don't think you'll get the useful comments and encouragement you are getting here.

I am definitely a kinky girl. I like lots of things on the BDSM buffet while other things squick me out (there is a new thread on that topic here in the Cafe). This thread is a place for you to try to sort out sexuality and more in your marriage and get some input/feedback from the kinky community.

You and your husband are exploring power dynamics in your life/sexuality. You are using toys that help reinforce those dynamics. It is, IMHO, a flavor of BDSM. However, it doesn't matter what you call it. Labels are only useful as far as they help you to have language to discuss things and try to understand yourself and others.

You do you. Figure it out. Try things. Adjust. Figure it out some more. Adjust again. As long as we are alive and curious we keep changing in these things. There are things I'm still discovering about what gets my engine running.

May your evolution be long, fun and fulfilling.

 

[LeaHaven]

BDSM is a huge range of activities, preferences and behaviors. You might check the stickies at the top of this forum (BDSM talk) for some helpful resources and definitions. I think of the range of BDSM like a buffet. It has lots of options - stuff I love, stuff I wanna eat all the time, stuff I want occasionally and stuff I'm allergic to or just don't like. I get to pick exactly what I want and leave the rest.

I checked out bdsmlr (quite awhile ago) - it's not a site that works for me either. And similarly there are some threads I avoid on Lit and boards I rarely if ever visit. There are people who post things I find to be not of any interest to me (and actually upset me because of the violence or extreme kinks) and I have put them on iggy so I don't have to see their posts.

I know you are trying to figure out if you put this thread in the right place. I think you did. While you could have the mods move your thread to Fet or to the Playground, I don't think you'll get the useful comments and encouragement you are getting here.

I am definitely a kinky girl. I like lots of things on the BDSM buffet while other things squick me out (there is a new thread on that topic here in the Cafe). This thread is a place for you to try to sort out sexuality and more in your marriage and get some input/feedback from the kinky community.

You and your husband are exploring power dynamics in your life/sexuality. You are using toys that help reinforce those dynamics. It is, IMHO, a flavor of BDSM. However, it doesn't matter what you call it. Labels are only useful as far as they help you to have language to discuss things and try to understand yourself and others.

You do you. Figure it out. Try things. Adjust. Figure it out some more. Adjust again. As long as we are alive and curious we keep changing in these things. There are things I'm still discovering about what gets my engine running.

May your evolution be long, fun and fulfilling.

Oh gosh, thank you! You just helped me let go of a lot of anxiety. I am so confident in my job, but I am always second-guessing myself in my sex life. I am so afraid of making a mistake. But I will let me be me. I think that is great advice. I do that in every other part of my life, why don't I do it in my sex life? Adjust and adapt. I can do that.

Thank you so much!

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Someone told me that I should consider creating a blog on bdsmlr. Never heard of it, but I went looking, and OMFG!! The pictures were horrific! I wish I had never seen them! So, I don't think we are bdsm people. I don't know what we are, but I am never going anywhere near what I saw in those pictures!

It probably shouldn’t, because you know you guys do you and it’s a little judggie of me, but this made me happy. It’s the same thing as when you said you’re scared how much you enjoyed the power, that’s a good thing. As @cascadiabound said BDSM is a big umbrella and whether you are or not is relatively academic, I often describe myself as kinky which has its own connotations but for me it’s things that are outside of what a society would deem as “normal”.

In defense of Robbie

I’d ask you to consider his voicing of how he thinks you feel about his job relative to yours as really healthy. This is very similar to other things he’s confessed to you. This is something he’s probably felt for a long time, but was scared to tell you. Although it’s hard to hear, I urge you to be the leader, and address this with him, this is after all the role you’ve taken on and from a random guy on the internet’s judgement I think you’re going to be great at it.

Being the dominant and leader often means we have to put our feelings and wants second to our submissive, in short we don’t have the luxury of getting hot about it. This is not to say that it doesn’t hurt to hear or that we feel it’s a shitty thing to have happen but then you have to look past this.

Here are a few suggestions about the job importance thing.

Firstly take an inventory, as this is a vanilla thing it’s most likely something that gets discussed with your friends and family as well as yourselves. Be honest with yourself and putting yourself in Robbie’s position, the time you use, the amount you talk about how cool his job is, how great he is at it etc. You would me amazed how subtle the messaging is for somebody who is insecure about something for it to be misconstrued.

Secondly, apologize. I know it sucks. But there you go, I apologize a ton for shit that isn’t remotely my fault but I’m the leader and so it’s still my fault/responsibility. The apology should be with no caveats, but you don’t have to admit something that isn’t true. Something like this, - I’m sorry about how I reacted to what you said about your job, I was really disappointed that you weren’t going to be able to go to the wedding with me. You know I hate going to these things without you, I’m also angry at your boss, he shouldn’t have changed this on you, did he know how important it was to us?

The next part has to be hundred percent authentic and you should cover truthfully how proud of his work and his abilities you are. Remind him that the differences between you both is what makes you such a great partnership after all white collar jobs doesn’t necessarily provide anything more stable as any other type of job. It’s important to remember what matters is the two of you and jobs will come and go.

Finally be very clear that you want and need his honesty, point out the wonderful experiences you’ve both had because of how brave he has been in communicating and trusting you. However you’ll be very frustrated and angry if you think he’s not being truthful with you and or making stuff up because he doesn’t want to do something and is using something or somebody else as an excuse. After all a dominant has to be able to trust their submissive that’s why they’re giving safe words otherwise it’s just not safe.

Good luck and I hope it goes well. If you guys are in a good place I’ve sent you a scenario you might want to try.

 

[cascadiabound]

This might be of interest to you along with the rest of the thread. You might do a search on flr in the BDSM forum for other threads/discussions about flr

Once again. Good luck.

Post in thread 'Our FLR journey'
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/our-flr-journey.1607792/post-98773515

 

[LeaHaven]

Purple_Fronds, as usual, your post has caused me to stop and think (instead of reacting, which I am bad about doing). I was about to respond to your post, but then I saw cascadiabound's post and the link to the book. The author has a lot of stuff online, and I have read all I could find. It's like everything is hitting at the same time, but I am not complaining. My perspective has completely changed - I think. I need time to think it all out, but I will respond soon. I am working from home today, so I think I can put my thoughts together in time to post later today. But I think I have an idea. It's a biggie!

 

[9to5]

you have a lot to take in and see what you like. dont forget to talk to him also about what he likes and what you both are doing and where you want it to go

 

[Wonderer67]

This is a great thread Lee. Bravo.

My wife and I are reading an old school book by Nancy Friday about women’s fantasies. One of the things my wife and I like about the book is about women talking so unabashedly about their sexual thoughts and feelings. Which is similar to lit.

So thanks for sharing all of your thoughts and feelings in this one place.

Someone told me that I should consider creating a blog on bdsmlr. Never heard of it, but I went looking, and OMFG!! The pictures were horrific! I wish I had never seen them! So, I don't think we are bdsm people. I don't know what we are, but I am never going anywhere near what I saw in those pictures!

Yes, some BDSM pics and porn are way over the top. But if people like it, good on them.

My wife is a bit like you, and has turned off immensely by most bdsm pics and stories and vids.

But one thing about BDSM practices is it really can be a very beautiful, intimate and very close connection.

My wife and I practice a very loving brand of femdom/FLR. It has really brought much closer together.

When I get some more time, I will read all the way through this thread.

Thanks again for sharing your inner most thoughts here!!

 

[naughty_stories]

FLR is part of BDsm in the same way that all salmon are fish but not all fish are salmon. One partner is willing to accept a power imbalance in the relationship out of love and devotion. It doesn't mean they are the weak one.

 

[LeaHaven]

The reason Robbie and I became such good friends was because our lives were so heavily controlled by our parents. Part of that control was that my parents insisted I go to college. That was ok with me because I wanted to go to college anyway. Robbie's parents insisted he NOT go to college, and he was ok with that because he didn't want to college. My parents did not want me to marry a guy who was not college educated, and Robbie's parents did not want him to marry a girl who is college educated. Robbie and I have lived through this and talked about this since we met in the 6th grade. We both knew what we wanted to do, and we both supported each other in our goals. So the other day when he said I don't take his job seriously, I could not understand where that thought came from. I have always respected his job. I have never once said anything negative about his job. But Robbie hates his job, so why is he telling ME that I don't take his job seriously?

Purple_Fronds said, "put yourself in Robbie's position." So I thought about that. What is Robbie's position? He makes half my salary, works a hard job (in all sorts of weather) that does not appreciate his efforts, his wife runs the marriage, and now she has started locking his cock in a cage. All the while, his mom is constantly talking in his ear about how his wife thinks she is high-and-mighty. I get the picture now. He has moved away from home, but his mind is still there. He is still trying to be what his parents want him to be. I guess I have been doing the same thing. This is why our sex life has been so messed up. We are STILL holding on to those old standards.

I have read all about flr relationships, mild ones, moderate ones, extreme ones. I have read that I should sit him down and "lay down the law" and dictate the relationship I want, get him to agree, etc. etc. But that won't work with Robbie. He only gets embarrassed at that sort of direct discussion about sex - especially THIS topic, but I know he wants it. He has told me he wants me to be the boss. I want it too. Do I ever!! So here is what I am going to do.

Tonight I will tell him that I want him to quit work. I will give him 2 options. He can quit now, or he can wait until June. Why June? Because I want him to consider going to community college. There are some skills he has always been interested in learning, but he has never had the opportunity. We missed this semester, so he will have to wait until Fall semester. But going to community college will be his choice, and if he wants to start a new career with his new skills, I am all for it. If he does not, I am ok with that too.

There are three comments I have read on here that have stuck in my head.
1. You do you (cascadiabound)
2. She has to be strong (don't remember who)
3. If you are truly in charge, take charge (twister947)

I am going to stick to those 3 principles, and we will live the flr we both want. I don't need to explain it to Robbie. He would not like that anyway. But from now on, no more wishy-washy from either of us. We are completely and totally a female-led relationship.

 

[Yarglenurp]

The reason Robbie and I became such good friends was because our lives were so heavily controlled by our parents. Part of that control was that my parents insisted I go to college. That was ok with me because I wanted to go to college anyway. Robbie's parents insisted he NOT go to college, and he was ok with that because he didn't want to college. My parents did not want me to marry a guy who was not college educated, and Robbie's parents did not want him to marry a girl who is college educated. Robbie and I have lived through this and talked about this since we met in the 6th grade. We both knew what we wanted to do, and we both supported each other in our goals. So the other day when he said I don't take his job seriously, I could not understand where that thought came from. I have always respected his job. I have never once said anything negative about his job. But Robbie hates his job, so why is he telling ME that I don't take his job seriously?

Purple_Fronds said, "put yourself in Robbie's position." So I thought about that. What is Robbie's position? He makes half my salary, works a hard job (in all sorts of weather) that does not appreciate his efforts, his wife runs the marriage, and now she has started locking his cock in a cage. All the while, his mom is constantly talking in his ear about how his wife thinks she is high-and-mighty. I get the picture now. He has moved away from home, but his mind is still there. He is still trying to be what his parents want him to be. I guess I have been doing the same thing. This is why our sex life has been so messed up. We are STILL holding on to those old standards.

I have read all about flr relationships, mild ones, moderate ones, extreme ones. I have read that I should sit him down and "lay down the law" and dictate the relationship I want, get him to agree, etc. etc. But that won't work with Robbie. He only gets embarrassed at that sort of direct discussion about sex - especially THIS topic, but I know he wants it. He has told me he wants me to be the boss. I want it too. Do I ever!! So here is what I am going to do.

Tonight I will tell him that I want him to quit work. I will give him 2 options. He can quit now, or he can wait until June. Why June? Because I want him to consider going to community college. There are some skills he has always been interested in learning, but he has never had the opportunity. We missed this semester, so he will have to wait until Fall semester. But going to community college will be his choice, and if he wants to start a new career with his new skills, I am all for it. If he does not, I am ok with that too.

There are three comments I have read on here that have stuck in my head.
1. You do you (cascadiabound)
2. She has to be strong (don't remember who)
3. If you are truly in charge, take charge (twister947)

I am going to stick to those 3 principles, and we will live the flr we both want. I don't need to explain it to Robbie. He would not like that anyway. But from now on, no more wishy-washy from either of is. We are completely and totally a female-led relationship.

Sounds like Robbie is lucky to have you, tbh. A less loving wife would have kicked him to the curb for acting like a man-child about his own life and turning against his biggest cheerleader.

 

[LeaHaven]

Sounds like Robbie is lucky to have you, tbh. A less loving wife would have kicked him to the curb for acting like a man-child about his own life and turning against his biggest cheerleader.

Thank you for saying that, but Robbie was having a moment of self-doubt. I am guilty of that too. I think we are both lucky to have each other.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Thank you for saying that, but Robbie was having a moment of self-doubt. I am guilty of that too. I think we are both lucky to have each other.

That’s good. I think it’s beautiful that you still have these types of sentiments about him.

I just know that a man listening to his mother over his wife is one of the biggest unforced errors a husband can make to kill his marriage. I’m hoping he avoids going down that path.

 

[cascadiabound]

The two of you have a very long history with each other which is a huge benefit. Another thing I see in your favor for figuring things out in a way that suits the two of you is the fact that you had enough strength together and spine to make decisions that were not what your parents wanted (marrying each other).

On the other hand, you are both bringing a bunch of baggage into the bedroom... parental and religious expectations which will require time and effort to shake free from. In my opinion it is not okay for your MIL to talk badly about you to your husband. That needs to stop. Figure out what needs to happen to make her stop. It might be that Robbie needs to tell her, it might be that you need to tell her with Robbie present or on the same call. You know the players.... so you can figure the right approach.

Another thing imo that is both a plus and a minus. You two are still quite young in your adult lives. Since you have known each other since you were children, you hold a lot of memories together...sometimes that makes a bit of a hurdle to be adults with each other. Idk. On the plus side, you are figuring out super complex and non traditional ways to feel fulfilled in your sex life and all the rest. That's amazing! I didn't figure out most of my kinky needs/desires, much less be able to articulate them until I was in my late 40s. So you have a huge running start on most people.

I'll be really interested to see how he responds to your ultimatums regarding his work/school. Make sure you think about and articulate that your thoughts about this are all about helping him achieve his greatest potential and satisfaction in his work life. You are looking out for his best interest and laying out a path to help him get there.

My 2 cents.
~cb

 

[whenagain]

It’s really inspiring to hear from someone new to these things who is approaching things carefully.

Parts of it are also hot, tho I know that’s not the point.

 

[twister947]

Leah, don't overlook Vo Tech.

 

[LeaHaven]

On Monday, Robbie will give his 2 week notice. I am so excited!!

We were sitting on the couch last night watching TV. I was leaning up against him, and I was nervous about saying anything. I kept stalling and stalling, and finally I said, "Hey Robbie, could you pause that please?" He paused the TV, and I sat up and turned toward him. "I want you to quit work," I said.

He said, "WHAAAAT???"

I can't write everything out here, but we talked for probably like an hour. I pointed out that he hates his job, it's going nowhere, he has always wanted to do something else, and we are running around every weekend trying to get chores done. I also pointed out that after we got the kitchen cleaned up (last night), we were both exhausted. We recently had to put my car in the shop, and it was like all these logistics of who is driving who and how and when and who will be late to work, etc. etc. Our life can slow down, and he can go to community college if he wants, I explained it all.

Robbie looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Leah, I can't quit work. Everybody back home will think I'm some kind of fuckin house husband."

"You will be a house husband."

Robbie rolled his eyes.

And this is where the long discussion started. I told him that we have to start living OUR life, not the life that other people expect of us. It was a very long talk about parents, siblings, friends, where we came from and where we are now. He knew I was right, but he said that we were going to "get a lot of shit about this, you know that." I told him, "Robbie, these past few weeks have been the best days of our life. Am I lying?" He didn't say anything, because it was true, and he kind of hung his head. I said, "I want to live the way we want to live." It was quiet for a few seconds, and then, in a sort of assertive tone, I added, "I want you home, Robbie. That's what I want." He raised his head, a little surprised at my tone of voice, like I was giving an order. But he was big-eyed, like it was a good surprise. And then he nodded and said, "OK."

I am kind of embarrassed to say, but that kind of aroused me. This is such a huge shift for us and especially him, and to be honest, I didn't think he would go for it. He will get so much shit about this from his parents.

There is so much more to say, but I will have to write it later. Robbie just left for work about 30 minutes ago, and I got up with him. But I am tired, and I have to attend a wedding today, so I am going back to bed. I will update more as soon as I can, and there are comments I want to respond to.

I am sooooo excited!!!!

 

[9to5]

I do hope he is just as excited. but it sounds like he is ready to go with this. I wish him the best and enjoy what comes ahead

 

[LeaHaven]

I need to post a few notes just to make sure everyone knows.

1. I am getting a lot of messages since I started this thread, and it is hard for me to keep track. If I have not responded, you may need to send me a reminder. Some of you send me messages that I have to give a lot of thought to, so I may not have responded to those yet. Don't think I didn't like what you had to say. If I haven't responded yet, you have probably got my mind rolling.

2. I apologize for my poor writing when I post updates. When I go back and read what I wrote, sometimes it seems hard to understand. But I am writing fast and straight out of my brain, because I usually don't have much time. I will try to do better. At least I have stopped with the texting jargon!!

3. Because I am writing fast, I miss writing down a lot of what I want to say. If something does not make sense, please feel free to ask me. I know I need to slow down and think more about what I am saying.

4. I know I am "vague" about some things, but that is for my own privacy. For instance I said Robbie is interested in some "skills." I didn't want to post exactly what those skills are, because I could just imagine someone reading this and thinking, "He works outside, he's quitting his job, he's interested in [insert skill here]...that sounds like Robbie!" That would be just my luck.

I have to start getting ready. I don't know if I will have a chance to get back in here today. If not, y'all have a nice day!

 

[twister947]

I need to post a few notes just to make sure everyone knows.

1. I am getting a lot of messages since I started this thread, and it is hard for me to keep track. If I have not responded, you may need to send me a reminder. Some of you send me messages that I have to give a lot of thought to, so I may not have responded to those yet. Don't think I didn't like what you had to say. If I haven't responded yet, you have probably got my mind rolling.

2. I apologize for my poor writing when I post updates. When I go back and read what I wrote, sometimes it seems hard to understand. But I am writing fast and straight out of my brain, because I usually don't have much time. I will try to do better. At least I have stopped with the texting jargon!!

3. Because I am writing fast, I miss writing down a lot of what I want to say. If something does not make sense, please feel free to ask me. I know I need to slow down and think more about what I am saying.

4. I know I am "vague" about some things, but that is for my own privacy. For instance I said Robbie is interested in some "skills." I didn't want to post exactly what those skills are, because I could just imagine someone reading this and thinking, "He works outside, he's quitting his job, he's interested in [insert skill here]...that sounds like Robbie!" That would be just my luck.

I have to start getting ready. I don't know if I will have a chance to get back in here today. If not, y'all have a nice day!

Your writing is clear, linear and readable; no apologies necessary.

 

[naughty_stories]

I need to post a few notes just to make sure everyone knows.

1. I am getting a lot of messages since I started this thread, and it is hard for me to keep track. If I have not responded, you may need to send me a reminder. Some of you send me messages that I have to give a lot of thought to, so I may not have responded to those yet. Don't think I didn't like what you had to say. If I haven't responded yet, you have probably got my mind rolling.

2. I apologize for my poor writing when I post updates. When I go back and read what I wrote, sometimes it seems hard to understand. But I am writing fast and straight out of my brain, because I usually don't have much time. I will try to do better. At least I have stopped with the texting jargon!!

3. Because I am writing fast, I miss writing down a lot of what I want to say. If something does not make sense, please feel free to ask me. I know I need to slow down and think more about what I am saying.

4. I know I am "vague" about some things, but that is for my own privacy. For instance I said Robbie is interested in some "skills." I didn't want to post exactly what those skills are, because I could just imagine someone reading this and thinking, "He works outside, he's quitting his job, he's interested in [insert skill here]...that sounds like Robbie!" That would be just my luck.

I have to start getting ready. I don't know if I will have a chance to get back in here today. If not, y'all have a nice day!

Remember to send Robbie a pic or two of you all guessied up for the wedding. Maybe along with a note that weddings make you horny.

 

[cascadiabound]

I'm very excited for the two of you. You noted that he/you expect some push back/criticism from family and friends. Maybe talk about how you want to handle that together? Practice some responses that you can have ready ahead of time. Keep it simple, direct and make those responses things that are impossible to argue with. Remember that you don't have to explain or justify anything to anyone. It's your life, your marriage. No one else needs to understand it or approve of it. They can go f*** themselves.

I suspect that R doesn't want to feel "less than" or feel unmanly or whatever. Think about ways to support his masculinity within your dynamic and in relation to others. The example that comes to mind is how to respond to comments about who "wears the pants" etc. That whole construct is BS in my opinion. You are in this together.

Generally my suggestion re how to handle people who might give you/him shit is to just say, we made this decision together and it works for us. Keep any explanation type thing to a minimum and try to not get drawn into debate about what *they* think you should do. Maybe something like "R has other goals and we are going to work together to help him achieve those and his current job got in the way of that."

You're obviously very smart and you can figure this all out, but making a plan together to deal with fallout you can anticipate is always a good idea.

One of the truisms that I often quote is

"No one knows what's happening in a marriage except the two people in it, and sometimes even they don't know."

 

[Yarglenurp]

I’m honestly flabbergasted by how many men let what other men think of them dictate how they want to approach their marriage. It is fucking crazy to me that they’d let a bunch of dudes who don’t give a shit about their happiness fuck up their relationship with their life partner.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Bravo Lea and Robbie. I’m so impressed with you both.

 

[LeaHaven]

There is so much I want to tell you and update you about, but I woke up just now remembering something, and I want to tell you about that.

In the spring semester of my sophomore year, I got a call from my dad one night, and he was very angry. Up until then, he had been mostly directing what classes I would take and register for, but going into my junior year, what he was telling me to take did not fit with where I wanted to focus my studies. I did not do what he wanted, and I registered for the classes I wanted instead. I knew he would find out and be upset, but I didn't know how upset. That night on the phone when he called, he was screaming at me. He called me "the most disrespectful, spoiled brat I've ever met in my life!" I tried to explain, and I was nice about it, but the more I said, the angrier he became. I finally just stopped talking. When it was all over and we got off the phone, I immediately called Robbie, and as soon as I heard his voice, I began to cry. We talked for the longest time, me lying in my bed in my dorm room, tucked under the covers as if they might protect me from my emotional pain. Robbie was reassuring, and he calmed me down. I told him I didn't want to be there anymore, I wanted to go home, but I no longer had a home. Not only did my parents not like the person I had become, they no longer accepted me for who I am. I had suspected it already, but the phone call validated my suspicions.

"You're my safe haven, Robbie," I told him.

"You're MY safe haven," he replied.

I told him that I hated being so far away from him, but he assured me that it would all be worth it. "Just see it through," he said. "I'm here waiting when you finish." I started to cry all over again, and I cried myself to sleep that night, staring out the window at moonlight shining on slowly moving clouds.

From that day on, Robbie and I sometimes refer to each other as each other's haven. When we bought this house, I called it our "new haven." If you've read my profile, I said that I wanted the username "Haven."

Now you know why.