Learning Dom seeks advice and consult.

[intothewoods]

Lots of people describe themselves as possessing personality traits that vary with company or context. Shy in some environments but outgoing in others; predictably emotional in some situations but apathetic in others; etc.

I defined the essence of the "D-urge" as being comfortable and aroused when controlling what transpires in a personal relationship. Aroused is off the table in most other contexts, so we're left with "comfortable". Personally I am much more comfortable in the company of laid back people who aren't trying to control each other's behavior, and I'm a laid back guy in most social situations as well. Bossy and controlling just aren't traits I appreciate in a general social context.

I understand that others have different preferences, and some of these have the D-urge as well. No problem. Looking at the population of Dominants as a whole, I'm not saying there's a negative correlation between the D-urge and the urge to control others in a general social setting, but I don't think there's a positive correlation either.

Flip all this around, and the same applies to submissives.


ETA: If you have the chance, ask your friend to provide his working definitions of "dominant" and "submissive". Sometimes people talk past one another in these discussions, for the simple reason that they aren't even talking about the same thing.

Yeah, that's probably what's going on.

 

[Proffesah_J]

funny moment

At the end of that first day, she was helping me get ready for work, getting me some socks, brushing my hair, that kind of thing. we were standing in the bedroom talking about the days events and she asked something like, "do you like this, Daddy?' or something to that effect. Well I pointed to the raging hard on standing out in front of me as an indication of how much I liked it. She took it to mean I wanted her to service me and dropped immediately, and forcefully, to her knees, dead on my left big toe hard enough that i thought blood would squirt out from under the nail. It was boner killing painful but also hysterical. She felt bad but i was just laughing. I loved her eagerness, gotta give her points for that!