Let's talk about objectification.

[LunarKitten]

I've been known to use someone as a piece of furniture but more to annoy them than because it did anything for me..... come to think of it, not even always in a BDSM context.

*whistles and looks around innocently* You, annoy?! *swoons slightly from the shock*

Runs like hell, giggling all the way

 

[YinandYang]

I like the idea of being wrapped for complete imbolization...and then used ruthlessly. It makes me feel good when my SO states that I am here for his pleasure, and how dare I ask a question like 'please sir may I cum'. Its all part of the submition, although I think I would worry if he felt the need to stick a paper bag on my head

 

[Desdemona]

I've been reading everyone's replies with great interest. I certainly enjoy it when we play this way, but it's only in his head that I'm no longer me. I don't do the whole mental thing myself. I know this allows him to enjoy his sadism a bit more. I know that, for him, when my face is covered, I'm no longer des. In his head, I stop being the woman he's emotionally involved with, the woman who gives great backrubs (among other things), the one who laughs and plays with him, etc. I know that at that point, I become a body that he uses. (We've discussed it, this is not conjecture on my part). I don't focus on that. I focus on the physical sensations, the helplessness, pleasing him. Maybe I'm missing out on something, I don't know. But I sorta doubt I would tolerate it well emotionally if I bought into the whole headtrip of not being me during these scenes. I don't even know how I could do that if I wanted to.

For those of you who do, how do you get there mentally... to that spot where you truly feel the objectification?

 

[catalina_francisco]

But I sorta doubt I would tolerate it well emotionally if I bought into the whole headtrip of not being me during these scenes. I don't even know how I could do that if I wanted to.

For those of you who do, how do you get there mentally... to that spot where you truly feel the objectification?

I can only speak of my own experience and understanding, and like someone said before, I never thought of objectification so much in the realm of wearing a hood or pretending to be someone other than who I am, at least not in the sense of 'I am no longer Catalina'. For us our aim is that I remain Catalina, but I am not treated in a way which gives me the dignity of being a human with feelings, or at least not feelings which need interfere with the needs of those involved...I become an object to be used to fulfil the needs and desires of whoever he allows to enjoy that freedom in whatever way he decides is okay with him. In part it is creating another image of who I am in the eyes of others, and him playing with the feelings that arouses in me by reminding me of what has happened, what I have become in the name of my submission to him. It is early days and subject to regular assessment of how it is going for both of us, how far it is going, when it will progress to the next stage.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

This deserves a bump back to the first page.

Objectification is not only making another akin to an inanimate object, it also forces the one objectified to leave their "self" and assume the position/mindset of "thing."

Wrenching to become a hole.

The gear (hoods, bondage, etc.) is a stepping platform, but the getting the sub to the headspace of "thing" is by far more important and the sought after result. It's truly about dehumanization and as cruel as that sounds, there's an allure to losing your identity and becoming an object for use.

The only downside is returning to yourself once the objectification ends. Your ego, pride, self-worth all take a huge bruising and deconstruction during the process. The scary part for myself is the craving for it once time has passed. Demeaning and arousing once you're in objectification mode, but worse when your out of the headspace and find yourself looking for a firm foothold.

lara

This is what objectification is really all about for me. I have little experience with hoods, wraps, and other apparatus, but plenty of experience with objectification. In fact, the way I have been trained and taught since the very beginning is that I am simply a tool for pleasure, and I revel in the role and strive to fulfill my purpose. I guess it's a type of mental bondage...self-objectification if you will.

By the way, I don't just mean I'm a tool sexual pleasure. I do that very well, but I'm also a friend, a conversation holder, a video game competitor, a kayaking buddy...all of these are part of being an instrument to provide happiness and enjoyment. That is who I am, that is what I am here for.

 

[Etoile]

Have to agree with this mode of objectification as opposed to the more action based ones of wrapping, covering faces etc. For us it is a work in progress which because of the hidden dangers etc., is happening step by step over a long period of time. It also is for the most part at this moment meant to be a more permanent objectification than just for a scene every now and then, and of course subject to his discretion as to how it is played out in the bigger picture and before whom. The mental aspect is the most important tool in actualising the whole thing to a point it is felt and lived by me, and in helping me remain sane (well as sane as is possible for me to be ). A big part of the self care package throughout this is remembering it is a fantasy shared by both of us, and as such is done out of love not hate. That may be a bit too lovey dovey for some, and mistaken for him being soft and only doing that which I am okay with.....couldn't be further from the truth. He will do whatever is necessary to have his needs met, will try and do what is necessary to make sure he doesn't lose me or control in the process, and love can be a good tool for ensuring that result. The key is remembering it is done out of love, fulfilling needs in each of us.

Catalina

Mine is definitely a permanent objectification. I will forever know that my purpose is to be that tool for pleasure. Any future D/s relationships will be started with that expectation, and I will likely maintain it unless I am trained otherwise. I have been taught who I am. I'm not entirely sure it's out of love, though...I think it was definitely self-serving for Daddy to teach me to be this woman I am. I was molded specifically for this purpose, because that was what Daddy wanted. We do love each other, and I love the shape I have taken, but it wasn't a mutual decision - it was simply an intersection of personalities, with Daddy feeling an entitlement to have such a tool, and me being malleable enough to conform. Again, this is entirely mental for me, I don't remember any scening we have done like this. (We do incorporate it into dirty talk, but only spontaneously because it's what we both believe rather than a deliberate intent to strip identity on a temporary basis.

 

[Marquis]

Excellent post Etoile.

 

[serijules]

Etoile, sometimes I just want to give you a big hug and after reading your posts. You took something I barely understood and made it make perfect sense to me. Thank you.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Mine is definitely a permanent objectification. I will forever know that my purpose is to be that tool for pleasure. Any future D/s relationships will be started with that expectation, and I will likely maintain it unless I am trained otherwise. I have been taught who I am. I'm not entirely sure it's out of love, though...I think it was definitely self-serving for Daddy to teach me to be this woman I am. I was molded specifically for this purpose, because that was what Daddy wanted. We do love each other, and I love the shape I have taken, but it wasn't a mutual decision - it was simply an intersection of personalities, with Daddy feeling an entitlement to have such a tool, and me being malleable enough to conform. Again, this is entirely mental for me, I don't remember any scening we have done like this. (We do incorporate it into dirty talk, but only spontaneously because it's what we both believe rather than a deliberate intent to strip identity on a temporary basis.

I can relate. I guess in actuality ours is not a temporary thing even now, though I think of it as only partial because I know the larger picture at this point of where he wants to go with it. For us, though my submission and service is only to him, and incorporates all those type things you mention, it may not always seem that way to others and so the objectification is not something which exists only between us two, but more so something that locks me into that role wherever I may be. The companion, conversationalist etc., parts for us are seen more as part of our relationship than objectification because they have come naturally from who we were before ever meeting, there was no training or molding necessary, and bring pleasure to both of us.

The areas with which he hopes to use to objectify are not scenelike, but are meant to be a way of life in that they become who he wants me to be in the eyes of others, takes away those parts of me that make me who I am or even someone to be considered, take away identity thus making me an object. It is not something which for me can happen overnight because of the mental aspects, the need to introduce the role bit by bit so there is time to become used to each stage, accept the reality as more than a roleplay, and adjust without permanent or temporary psychological and emotional damage resulting in being broken. Time and circumstances are our biggest enemies in making this happen sooner, and the reality of being able to make it as complete as we would like is probably going to have to be modified simply because we do both have family and friends who would be deeply hurt and shocked by what we have envisioned.

Catalina

 

[schmerzgarten]

A CD perspective on objectification...

I know a number of CDs find impetus in the desire to experience femininity or even to be transformed into a woman. In contrast, there are a few of us who at times find the clothes a means toward objectification. It is the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" realized in all its glory, gender identification cast to the wind, an amalgamation of "sluthood" regardless of plumbing. I've noticed those of us who proceed from this bent tend toward the most constrictive and exaggerated of outfits, particularly latex and hoods. I remember watching a German porn flick in which everyone was completely clad in latex and spiked heels and, were it not for an occasional view of gender, the entire spectacle was one of debased sexual objects catering to the most carnal and perverse in each. I would have both given a year of my life to be in the cast and would have needed to go fishing the next two days just realize a sense of normalcy after that! *dahrool*

 

[catalina_francisco]

I know a number of CDs find impetus in the desire to experience femininity or even to be transformed into a woman. In contrast, there are a few of us who at times find the clothes a means toward objectification. It is the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" realized in all its glory, gender identification cast to the wind, an amalgamation of "sluthood" regardless of plumbing. I've noticed those of us who proceed from this bent tend toward the most constrictive and exaggerated of outfits, particularly latex and hoods. I remember watching a German porn flick in which everyone was completely clad in latex and spiked heels and, were it not for an occasional view of gender, the entire spectacle was one of debased sexual objects catering to the most carnal and perverse in each. I would have both given a year of my life to be in the cast and would have needed to go fishing the next two days just realize a sense of normalcy after that! *dahrool*

LOL, now the vision of Tim Curry emerging from the elevator in all his glory is something that appeals in a very fetishlike way....he played the slut so well, not to mention beautifully.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

LOL, now the vision of Tim Curry emerging from the elevator in all his glory is something that appeals in a very fetishlike way....he played the slut so well, not to mention beautifully.

Oh, he was indeed beautiful! I went in the theater a bajillion times in college and was involved with a cast (I was Magenta) and I've even interpreted the movie WITH audience callbacks. I don't really see him in a fetishy light, though...hot, oh definitely, but for some reason it doesn't say fetish to me. (Am I too jaded to TV/CDs?! )

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh, he was indeed beautiful! I went in the theater a bajillion times in college and was involved with a cast (I was Magenta) and I've even interpreted the movie WITH audience callbacks. I don't really see him in a fetishy light, though...hot, oh definitely, but for some reason it doesn't say fetish to me. (Am I too jaded to TV/CDs?! )

Was going to say perhaps it is a generational thing but then remembered my 21yo daughter's devotion to Tim because of Rocky Horror first, but then all his acting. She was willing to give him the gift of her virginity many years back just because she drooled over him in RHPS mode. LOL, at one time she did manage to make a night of it and drag a few of her male friends to a midnight showing of the movie complete with audience participation....she had hours of fun doing their make up and dressing them as Dr. F for the attendance.....the mothers of the boys who were allowed to see their sons were both surprised with how good a job she did on feminising them, and were more than a little surprised they had submitted to it for her, and been happy to be seen in public that way.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

Seeing the Rocky Horror Picture Show with my University's Pride association was my first first-person encounter with queer culture.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump for those who might want to contribute.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thought this might help as a bump also.