Let's talk about SSC

[FurryFury]

This is a very interesting thread. It brings up some good points that I had not thought of before. Perhaps because I am in a committed relationship and we think about, research and talk about nearly everything before we do it.

In any case, it's good food for thought. There are some important considerations here.

Oh and I like the new av Marquis!

Fury

 

[Marquis]

Oh and I like the new av Marquis!

Thank you FF, I was waiting for that.

The crowd is getting tougher and tougher I tell you.

 

[graceanne]

Thank you FF, I was waiting for that.

The crowd is getting tougher and tougher I tell you.

That's cause your av's are always great! They expect it.

Now I gotta go clean my nose.

 

[La Kajira]

LOL...

Make sure you use tissue...

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you FF, I was waiting for that.

The crowd is getting tougher and tougher I tell you.

Glad to be of "service." LOL.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

LOL...

Make sure you use tissue...

I did.

 

[Quint]

Thank you FF, I was waiting for that.

The crowd is getting tougher and tougher I tell you.

You actually got two votes of "mm hmm!" from this household. And only one of us truly appreciates penis, so gotta respect that.

 

[Marquis]

Oh stop it people, really.

 

[chris9]

Well what was he doing over there in the first place?

And dressed so provocatively I might add! He probably made himself look as delicious as possible and expected to just have this guy salivate all night and do nothing!

Yes, he wanted to be eaten at first. Then he changed his mind, so he wasn't consenting anymore.
I could go ahead and tell some Dom to flog me, cane me, do hurtful things. If, after the first slap, I find I don't want this afterall, and use my safeword as a way of saying 'no' that can be understood in the situation, my consent no longer exists.

 

[Marquis]

Yes, he wanted to be eaten at first. Then he changed his mind, so he wasn't consenting anymore.
I could go ahead and tell some Dom to flog me, cane me, do hurtful things. If, after the first slap, I find I don't want this afterall, and use my safeword as a way of saying 'no' that can be understood in the situation, my consent no longer exists.

Oh please, I say the tasty little morsel was asking for it! Come on, I'm just saying what we're all thinking!

 

[chris9]

Oh please, I say the tasty little morsel was asking for it! Come on, I'm just saying what we're all thinking!

You're right, of course. Just like any raped woman must have behaved/dressed in a very provocative style, thus asking for it.
I'm just saying that if there was consent, the cannibal would not be in jail for more than 5 years.

 

[Marquis]

You're right, of course. Just like any raped woman must have behaved/dressed in a very provocative style, thus asking for it.
I'm just saying that if there was consent, the cannibal would not be in jail for more than 5 years.

Ahhhh, great analogy. It's all clear to me now.

 

[graceanne]

Yes, he wanted to be eaten at first. Then he changed his mind, so he wasn't consenting anymore.
I could go ahead and tell some Dom to flog me, cane me, do hurtful things. If, after the first slap, I find I don't want this afterall, and use my safeword as a way of saying 'no' that can be understood in the situation, my consent no longer exists.

Chris - Marquis is teasing.

 

[chris9]

Chris - Marquis is teasing.

Yes, I got that. That's why I put the rape comparison in.
BUT we are talking about MY law, and I like to show off my knowledge.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I was also just recently thinking about SSC- especially the 'safe' component.

Obviously, safe is open to some interpretation as well as contingent on your personal limiits. I mean, if being cut is outside your limits then it wouldn't count as safe activity I should think. Or maybe that's a seperate issue (limits and safe) all together.

But I've been wondering. Must it always be safe? Assuming you have the other 2 components- consent and relative sanity- are there times when it is ok to try or do something that isn't safe or that really pushes safe? I mean really, is safe really the measure of all that is good in the universe? Sometimes safe is bad and risks are good. I'm not talking suicidal here, just risky. And I'm not even talking about myself, as i'm not that much of a risk taker, but just in general. ARe you a 'bad' BDSM- er (or combination thereof) if you *chose* with full knowledge and consent to take a risk, rather than play it safe?

 

[mysteryinc]

Sometimes safe is bad and risks are good. I'm not talking suicidal here, just risky. And I'm not even talking about myself, as i'm not that much of a risk taker, but just in general. ARe you a 'bad' BDSM- er (or combination thereof) if you *chose* with full knowledge and consent to take a risk, rather than play it safe?

I relate to this paradox since I am overly cautious and often regret making boring safe choices. I think most people would agree that you're not a 'bad' BDSM-er for taking risks, of course as Marquis points out depending on the unintended consequences if the risk goes wrong. Even assuming full knowledge and consent, if your choice is to be involved in something really dangerous, then it is doubtful that your choice is rational and sane.

Actually, I was wondering if the sane component mattered if what you were partaking in was safe. I'm refering to the escapist relationships, which are not grounded in reality, even if such relationships are doomed to fail since they are unsustainable. I guess I haven't been exposed to what constitutes truly insane practice in BDSM, unless it's unsafe, then I recognize it as insane immediately.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I was also just recently thinking about SSC- especially the 'safe' component.

Obviously, safe is open to some interpretation as well as contingent on your personal limiits. I mean, if being cut is outside your limits then it wouldn't count as safe activity I should think. Or maybe that's a seperate issue (limits and safe) all together.

But I've been wondering. Must it always be safe? Assuming you have the other 2 components- consent and relative sanity- are there times when it is ok to try or do something that isn't safe or that really pushes safe? I mean really, is safe really the measure of all that is good in the universe? Sometimes safe is bad and risks are good. I'm not talking suicidal here, just risky. And I'm not even talking about myself, as i'm not that much of a risk taker, but just in general. ARe you a 'bad' BDSM- er (or combination thereof) if you *chose* with full knowledge and consent to take a risk, rather than play it safe?

I think in reality much of what we do is unsafe to a degree....on the basis that the unexpected can and does happen, and sometimes you can also decide to go ahead despite reasons to have reservations. For us, cutting is not safe in that the outcome is not predictable given I have a keloid scarring problem, which is unpredictable and unpreventable when it chooses to be obnioxious. Sometimes I scar badly, often with the tiniest of scratches...othertimes it fades or is barely visible, even with the deepest suts. So in doing sutting, we take risks, but it is a decision we have made. Add to that, many things such as bullwhips etc., carry their risks, but life can become very mundane and predictable if you try and cover every possible outcome.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

Safety wise, I think you just want to be careful to not have to involve the authorities. Especially here in the states. If theres a good chance that someone will die, or will need Emergancy Care, then I'd say not to do it. A lot of things that aren't considered 'safe' by the average person IS if you take precautions.

Like cutting. Don't do it drunk, make sure that you clean it and the knife (or razor blade or whatever), and if you're real careful it's not that unsafe.

You get the idea.

 

[Miss Trickery]

1. Safe

I have wondered, in recent times, what they (assuming it was a, they, rather than a single person – which then would undoubtedly scare me) decided was safe, when the notion encompassing SSC was conceived. To me, safety should be perceived according to its freedom from danger, risk, and injury – inclusive of all parties in participation and those that could be considered liable.

Individuals in the BDSM lifestyle have their own variations of danger, risk, and injury – overall safety. With that, is accompanied their various different levels of extremes to which they are willing to engage. Correspondingly, the definition of safety differs amongst different people unless allowing it be viewed in a general state whereas the borders of safety can be extended, befitting circumstances where the very fringe of general safety – when agreed upon by all parties who would otherwise be held liable – is then agreed upon to be regarded as, ‘safe.’

For instance, a party may regard a scene ‘unsafe’ if there is any bloodshed, whereas a second party may regard a scene ‘unsafe’ if there is excessive bloodshed. The reasons for their desired elucidation will and may naturally differ, though they both satisfy the need for ‘safety.’

SSC is intertwined within itself as what is determined to be ‘safe’ is something consensual with those involved. It just isn’t safe if everyone doesn’t think it is.


2. Sane

Of sound mind, mentally healthy to the fullest extent. Some may argue that the vast majority of individuals in the BDSM lifestyle are not considered ‘sane’ at all, but due in part to some known and/or unknown psychosis, we are drawn to needs that thrive in such a way of life. Simply put, bull shite. Who amongst us – the 6+ billion of us who inhabit this planet is qualified to determine whether or not we are sane and based off of what? Credentials of such a person? Sanity can and is viewed based on what society has determined, mentally stable/healthy – falling short of the ones who really do have a screw loose up there.

For instance, if cannibalism was a daily ritual in human society – nationwide/worldwide, then perhaps a vegan would then be considered mentally unstable.

Once again, a question concerning sanity should be addressed and decided upon the parties involved. Various levels of extremes exist in BDSM, whereas some are regarded as ‘sane’ while others are not. Law plays an integral part of SSC – as certain limits can be ascertained according to the inescapable rules that govern us.


3. Consensual

Acceptance by those involved is perhaps one of the single most powers that exists in the basis of relationships vanilla, D/s, and the like. Therein remains the ability to express your free will and to make it known while permitting another to accept this of free mind. To consent is to have an agreement or approval of what is planned or done by another.

Communication and understanding are critical elements of consent. Parties involved must have total acquiescence and must be made aware of all things which they will be subjected to – otherwise such parties would not have been given the ability to consent to such an act.

Fully knowing the person to whom you are engaging in certain activities with is perhaps the best way to keep things consensual. But, fully knowing is, after all, the difficult part. There are many different ways to go on about consensual and the dangers/risks involved. Parties involved, with sound minds, could consent to an activity that later, they would heavily disagree upon – including the legal aspect of it all. Here. We go back to the whole of SSC… is it safe? It can be and it can’t be. Is it sane? Who knows? Consensual? At the time it was… but the judge doesn’t seem to believe me.

 

[Etoile]

Consensual (not Consentual, goddamnit, people PLEASE)

I think I just had a spontaneous orgasm.