Lil_Jenni's Adventures, Past and Present...

[lil_jenni]

Happy Holidays everyone!

 

[ShaneoD]

Happy Holidays everyone!

Happy Holidays Jenni, I hope they're good to you

 

[13Fantasies]

Happy Holidays everyone!

Happy holidays! I hope you, the kids, and your hubby have a great Christmas. You deserve it.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Happy Holidays everyone!

Same to you and yours

 

[lil_jenni]

So I went to the store this morning, twins in tow, wearing sweats and one of Hubby's Ford Bronco sweatshirts (it's a men's large, so it is huge on me). I had my hair in a ponytail and was wearing minimal makeup.

Now as you all know, I am short. Usually when I need something off a high shelf, I find an employee because I have a long history of guys wanting to help and then wanting to chat/flirt(and maybe fuck, although that's the silent part... ). In fact, I would say the stratagem of helping me get something off a high shelf has been the number one method random men have employed to try to flirt with me or pick me up over the years.

Anyway, in recent years, the pick up attempts have been a lot less than the harmless flirting or just even simple kindness, but still... I prefer the help of employees (I have also been known to put a broom stick in my cart, use it to get stuff, and then put it back before I check out....). But this is a store I got to all the time, and I don't mind asking employees for help because the morning staff pretty much all know me.

Today, before I could go find help (or get a broom stick), a man my age or perhaps a few years older rushed to my aid. That's another thing about shopping in the morning on workdays. The guys who offer help are usually older and seem happy with a smile and thank you. This guy... lingered. He asked how old the twins are. He asked if I owned a Bronco. I made sure to tell him my husband did. I made sure he saw my rings. He still lingered and asked questions, like what kind of car I drove and how long I had been married. I tried to rush it along and told him I had to pick my son up from a half day at school (not true, but useful). He said I looked too young to have a child in school. I don't. I know I don't. And I definitely did not look like that today.

I headed toward the checkout and he followed. It was creepy as fuck. He then got in line behind me. I knew the cashier, and I tried to convey to her my unease with the guy. She may have picked up on it, because it took him a long time to get out of the store after I did, and he was obviously rushing. Luckily so was I, and I was in my Explorer and already backed out when he was trying to find me in the parking lot. At least it sure looked like he was looking for me. Again, the whole thing creeped me the fuck out. I even kept checking behind me to see if it looked like anyone was following, and took a circuitous route home. I have also moved my WRX out of the garage and put the Explorer in it.

I talked to Hubby, but I know he's busy, and I downplayed it all a bit. I wanted to hear his voice, but once on the phone, I didn't want to cause him concern, so I just told him it weirded me out. I didn't tell him anything about my efforts to hide my car. I will tell him that when he gets home.

Anyway, I needed to talk more about this, so thanks for listening, Lit.

 

[13Fantasies]

I really hate that.

Being a tall guy, I get asked constantly to help. Or if I see a struggling person, I'll offer.

I definitely dont consider it an invitation to socialize. Have I had a couple of people engage me at times? Sure. But thats not why I help.

That dude is definitely the problem with men.

On a side note, I adore kids, so I might have asked how old they are, but I definitely would not have continued or followed you around the store.

Im sorry you were creeped out.

And I bet, even trying to hide it, that you looked luscious.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Not as an excuse to him at all because it does sound super creepy, but a general observation that it feels like more and more people don't pick up on social cues. Which is on them, but it just seems to happen more and more.

I'm glad the cashier was able to run interference for you. It's always okay to ask if you can get help out to your car too. Even if you don't need it, you have two kids and it's totally plausible.

We have one mega store in our town and I think at any given time there are 3-8 former students working there. A few times it has been smaller girls as former students working there and kind of creepy guys have asked for help to their car and cashiers we know have grabbed me to chat with my former student as they take the stuff out to the car. I like to believe there are lots of good people who would be happy to look out for people in opposing creeps - definitely ask and see. No one should have to feel uncomfortable.

 

[lil_jenni]

I really hate that.

Being a tall guy, I get asked constantly to help. Or if I see a struggling person, I'll offer.

I definitely dont consider it an invitation to socialize. Have I had a couple of people engage me at times? Sure. But thats not why I help.

That dude is definitely the problem with men.

On a side note, I adore kids, so I might have asked how old they are, but I definitely would not have continued or followed you around the store.

Im sorry you were creeped out.

And I bet, even trying to hide it, that you looked luscious.

I wasn't really creeped out yet when he asked about the twins (lots of people ask me about them) or if I had a Bronco, although I had that feeling he was more than being casual. It was the questions about what car I drove and how long I'd been married that started to feel creepy. Or rather, more the way he acted when asking them. He was too intently focused on the answers.

The real problem is I didn't even finish shopping before I decided to leave. I'm not really worried, because I don't think he was a danger, not really. I think he just wanted a chance to keep talking. But to be on the safe side, I'm going to a different store, and Misty is coming with me. In heels she's tall enough for anything but the highest shelves, and she's gonna take all the attention anyway.

 

[lil_jenni]

I wasn't really creeped out yet when he asked about the twins (lots of people ask me about them) or if I had a Bronco, although I had that feeling he was more than being casual. It was the questions about what car I drove and how long I'd been married that started to feel creepy. Or rather, more the way he acted when asking them. He was too intently focused on the answers.

The real problem is I didn't even finish shopping before I decided to leave. I'm not really worried, because I don't think he was a danger, not really. I think he just wanted a chance to keep talking. But to be on the safe side, I'm going to a different store, and Misty is coming with me. In heels she's tall enough for anything but the highest shelves, and she's gonna take all the attention anyway.

I should have thought of asking for help. It didn't occur to me in the moment. I was too intent on getting out and to my car.

 

[lil_jenni]

A few times it has been smaller girls as former students working there and kind of creepy guys have asked for help to their car and cashiers we know have grabbed me to chat with my former student as they take the stuff out to the car.

I think there are two components to being a smaller woman. One, people think they can physically intimidate us. And two, we may fit a fetish or kink they have because being smaller helps them get into that kink. I've mentioned before that I used to look younger than I was (I guess is still do, but now I look early 30s instead of late 30s, not significantly younger ). Part of it is my size, and part of it is my face structure. During my short stint at the brothel, I know there were instances I was picked because of my size and because I looked younger than I was. I know because some of the guys who picked me told me what they liked and wanted. I was not a big fan of age play before that, but those experiences really put me off it.

 

[lil_jenni]

Complete change of subject. Anyone else have an Android phone that suddenly has become an autocorrect fiend? It's like the stupid phone thinks it knows better what I want to write than I do.

 

[TomTeacher19]

I think there are two components to being a smaller woman. One, people think they can physically intimated us. And two, we may fit a fetish or kink they have because being smaller helps them get into that kink. I've mentioned before that I used to look younger than I was (I guess is still do, but now I look early 30s instead of late 30s, not significantly younger ). Part of it is my size, and part of it is my face structure. During my short stint at the brothel, I know there were instances I was picked because of my size and that I looked younger than I was. I know because some of the guys who picked me told me what they liked and wanted. I was not a big fan of age play before that, but those experiences really put me off it.

I remember way back in college there were always efforts to make sure girls didn't have to walk across campus at night alone or anything. It always just felt right to be willing to make people be comfortable. I know a lot of guys who were too selfish to be willing and also who complained that no girls ever asked them to help (it wasn't that hard to understand why). The physical size and intimidation is definitely a big thing. I won't say I can't understand or enjoy an age difference fantasy but I never have understood the non consenual stuff and I almost never have found I am doing something so earth shatteringly important that I can't take five minutes to help make sure someone feels safe.

 

[lil_jenni]

I remember way back in college there were always efforts to make sure girls didn't have to walk across campus at night alone or anything. It always just felt right to be willing to make people be comfortable. I know a lot of guys who were too selfish to be willing and also who complained that no girls ever asked them to help (it wasn't that hard to understand why). The physical size and intimidation is definitely a big thing. I won't say I can't understand or enjoy an age difference fantasy but I never have understood the non consenual stuff and I almost never have found I am doing something so earth shatteringly important that I can't take five minutes to help make sure someone feels safe.

My dislike of age play is rooted longer back than the brothel, but that kinda solidified it. I don't object to it in others, but it takes me to a place and time I don't want to go back to, at least not in that way. I mean, a lot of my kinks take me back there, but in a way that helps me. Age play does not help me.

I haven't even liked the term "girl" being used for me since my early 20s. I rarely use it for women myself. And "baby girl" is a no go as a term of endearment. Like I said, being called a "girl" takes me back in a way I don't like. It's what the asshole who abused me always used for me. Never my name, just "girl" or "baby girl" or the like. Fucking pig.

Sorry. I'm heading to dark places. Makes me wonder if the guy today was creepy or just spoke to a dark places in me. No. He was creepy.

 

[lil_jenni]

Well, Misty can't go to the store with me after all. I think I'll just go this weekend. I got most of what was on my list anyway, except the cold and frozen items. I always get those last. But I have stuff for dinner tonight, and I bet I can get Hubby to go with me tomorrow. He can protect me and get the stuff off the high shelves.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

So I went to the store this morning, twins in tow, wearing sweats and one of Hubby's Ford Bronco sweatshirts (it's a men's large, so it is huge on me). I had my hair in a ponytail and was wearing minimal makeup.

Now as you all know, I am short. Usually when I need something off a high shelf, I find an employee because I have a long history of guys wanting to help and then wanting to chat/flirt(and maybe fuck, although that's the silent part... ). In fact, I would say the stratagem of helping me get something off a high shelf has been the number one method random men have employed to try to flirt with me or pick me up over the years.

Anyway, in recent years, the pick up attempts have been a lot less than the harmless flirting or just even simple kindness, but still... I prefer the help of employees (I have also been known to put a broom stick in my cart, use it to get stuff, and then put it back before I check out....). But this is a store I got to all the time, and I don't mind asking employees for help because the morning staff pretty much all know me.

Today, before I could go find help (or get a broom stick), a man my age or perhaps a few years older rushed to my aid. That's another thing about shopping in the morning on workdays. The guys who offer help are usually older and seem happy with a smile and thank you. This guy... lingered. He asked how old the twins are. He asked if I owned a Bronco. I made sure to tell him my husband did. I made sure he saw my rings. He still lingered and asked questions, like what kind of car I drove and how long I had been married. I tried to rush it along and told him I had to pick my son up from a half day at school (not true, but useful). He said I looked too young to have a child in school. I don't. I know I don't. And I definitely did not look like that today.

I headed toward the checkout and he followed. It was creepy as fuck. He then got in line behind me. I knew the cashier, and I tried to convey to her my unease with the guy. She may have picked up on it, because it took him a long time to get out of the store after I did, and he was obviously rushing. Luckily so was I, and I was in my Explorer and already backed out when he was trying to find me in the parking lot. At least it sure looked like he was looking for me. Again, the whole thing creeped me the fuck out. I even kept checking behind me to see if it looked like anyone was following, and took a circuitous route home. I have also moved my WRX out of the garage and put the Explorer in it.

I talked to Hubby, but I know he's busy, and I downplayed it all a bit. I wanted to hear his voice, but once on the phone, I didn't want to cause him concern, so I just told him it weirded me out. I didn't tell him anything about my efforts to hide my car. I will tell him that when he gets home.

Anyway, I needed to talk more about this, so thanks for listening, Lit.

That’s shitty, I’m really sorry you had to deal with that.

I shouldn’t be and yet I am constantly surprised at how many men are complete arseholes. One thing I read recently which is germane to your experience is the notion that asking questions is actually how a lot of predators behave, with the ultimate point of the message being not to engage (I sent it to my adult daughter). Of course the vast majority of people and especially women have been brought up to be polite and respond as you did. This is all to say that please don’t downplay your instincts or feelings they were spot on. You should also tell your husband fully how scared you was, I will guarantee you that this is way more important to him than anything else that is going on at his work. Continue to trust your instincts and remind yourself you owe no random guy any information or your general politeness, they in short need to fuck off.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Not as an excuse to him at all because it does sound super creepy, but a general observation that it feels like more and more people don't pick up on social cues. Which is on them, but it just seems to happen more and more.

I'm glad the cashier was able to run interference for you. It's always okay to ask if you can get help out to your car too. Even if you don't need it, you have two kids and it's totally plausible.

We have one mega store in our town and I think at any given time there are 3-8 former students working there. A few times it has been smaller girls as former students working there and kind of creepy guys have asked for help to their car and cashiers we know have grabbed me to chat with my former student as they take the stuff out to the car. I like to believe there are lots of good people who would be happy to look out for people in opposing creeps - definitely ask and see. No one should have to feel uncomfortable.

I don’t mean to be harsh but I don’t agree with this, this behavior isn’t failing to pick up on social queues, this is an actual or want to be predator in action. I’m also tired of society’s general tolerance of this behavior, I think it’s ridiculous that the kind of situation you describe is left to the cashiers to find ways to make it more safe, rather than us just being intolerant of these stupid games.

 

[TomTeacher19]

I don’t mean to be harsh but I don’t agree with this, this behavior isn’t failing to pick up on social queues, this is an actual or want to be predator in action. I’m also tired of society’s general tolerance of this behavior, I think it’s ridiculous that the kind of situation you describe is left to the cashiers to find ways to make it more safe, rather than us just being intolerant of these stupid games.

I do think he is a creep. I just had this thought while reading her account of this at one point that it reminded me how often it seems like people are really bad at picking up queues. Clearly this guy was way over that line and I'm sorry if my comment at all sounded like I was trying to be tolerant or make excuses for him. I think I was thinking of my situations where it has been a few times where I do think people didn't get the social queues and I was happy to be able to help be available to step in and help make it feel safer with people who I do think were likely more clueless than creeper. But this guy was over the line and no we should not be tolerating that. I apologize if my earlier comments made it sound like I was okay at all with this guy

 

[lil_jenni]

That’s shitty, I’m really sorry you had to deal with that.

I shouldn’t be and yet I am constantly surprised at how many men are complete arseholes. One thing I read recently which is germane to your experience is the notion that asking questions is actually how a lot of predators behave, with the ultimate point of the message being not to engage (I sent it to my adult daughter). Of course the vast majority of people and especially women have been brought up to be polite and respond as you did. This is all to say that please don’t downplay your instincts or feelings they were spot on. You should also tell your husband fully how scared you was, I will guarantee you that this is way more important to him than anything else that is going on at his work. Continue to trust your instincts and remind yourself you owe no random guy any information or your general politeness, they in short need to fuck off.

A lot of questions, and how intently they listen. Most guys who want to chat listen, but the questions are just a way of engaging. It's small talk.

But most women (at least it's true for me and most women i know) pick up on when questions have more of a purpose, and when the guy is cataloging the answers. It's why I wasn't nearly as creeped out about the guy in my neighborhood who was manufacturing opportunities to take his kids to the park when I took mine as I was with the guy yesterday. They guy in my neighborhood was all smalltalk about whatever he thought would keep me talking longer. This sounds conceited, but he was enamored with me. It kinda creeped me out when I realized how much effort he was making to make sure we met at that park or out walking everyday, but not enough to be scared. I was scared of the guy yesterday, and generally I don't scare easily, not like that. Maybe it was partially because the twins were with me, and his attention to me might have been a way to get at them? I don't know. But I was scared.

I did tell Hubby last night how scared I was, and he said the same thing you did that I could have told him. I just know I can be drama, and when I called him, I kinda worried that is what I was being. But deep down I knew I wasn't. I just didn't want him to worry.

Anyway, after I thought about it all a bit more yesterday, I called the store and spoke to the manager, who is a nice older man who I have talked to before (and he has helped me get stuff off high shelves). He confirmed that the cashier had picked up my unease and had delayed the guy a bit. I thanked the manager and asked him to thank the cashier. They even got a description of the guy's car and the license plate number. It seems the cashier picked up the same vibe I did.

There's not enough to warrant a police report, of course, but I will be on the lookout for the car the next time I go shopping. Well, Hubby and I are going later today, but to a big box store, as we need some other stuff too, so that's not a concern.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Good move calling the store. These kind of situations and creepy people need to be communicated about so people are aware and prepared to help shut that down. No one should be scared when they don't want to be.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

A lot of questions, and how intently they listen. Most guys who want to chat listen, but the questions are just a way of engaging. It's small talk.

But most women (at least it's true for me and most women i know) pick up on when questions have more of a purpose, and when the guy is cataloging the answers. It's why I wasn't nearly as creeped out about the guy in my neighborhood who was manufacturing opportunities to take his kids to the park when I took mine as I was with the guy yesterday. They guy in my neighborhood was all smalltalk about whatever he thought would keep me talking longer. This sounds conceited, but he was enamored with me. It kinda creeped me out when I realized how much effort he was making to make sure we met at that park or out walking everyday, but not enough to be scared. I was scared of the guy yesterday, and generally I don't scare easily, not like that. Maybe it was partially because the twins were with me, and his attention to me might have been a way to get at them? I don't know. But I was scared.

I did tell Hubby last night how scared I was, and he said the same thing you did that I could have told him. I just know I can be drama, and when I called him, I kinda worried that is what I was being. But deep down I knew I wasn't. I just didn't want him to worry.

Anyway, after I thought about it all a bit more yesterday, I called the store and spoke to the manager, who is a nice older man who I have talked to before (and he has helped me get stuff off high shelves). He confirmed that the cashier had picked up my unease and had delayed the guy a bit. I thanked the manager and asked him to thank the cashier. They even got a description of the guy's car and the license plate number. It seems the cashier picked up the same vibe I did.

There's not enough to warrant a police report, of course, but I will be on the lookout for the car the next time I go shopping. Well, Hubby and I are going later today, but to a big box store, as we need some other stuff too, so that's not a concern.

That’s great, and I agree that a lot of women pick up the difference, it's definitely a learnt skill.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I do think he is a creep. I just had this thought while reading her account of this at one point that it reminded me how often it seems like people are really bad at picking up queues. Clearly this guy was way over that line and I'm sorry if my comment at all sounded like I was trying to be tolerant or make excuses for him. I think I was thinking of my situations where it has been a few times where I do think people didn't get the social queues and I was happy to be able to help be available to step in and help make it feel safer with people who I do think were likely more clueless than creeper. But this guy was over the line and no we should not be tolerating that. I apologize if my earlier comments made it sound like I was okay at all with this guy

Oh I absolutely think that's a thing too, but I also wanted to ensure we didn't make excuses which I know was not what you intended but felt it was important to state it.

In terms of social queues what I also think happens is that they "miss the social queue" but then when it's more directly pointed out to them, they rapidly move through embarrassment, to defensiveness to anger.

 

[bobb_sledd]

They even got a description of the guy's car and the license plate number. It seems the cashier picked up the same vibe I did.

There's not enough to warrant a police report, of course, but I will be on the lookout for the car the next time I go shopping. Well, Hubby and I are going later today, but to a big box store, as we need some other stuff too, so that's not a concern.

It may not be a bad idea to file a police report. At least call them (on their non-emergency line) and tell them what happened and that you have a description and license plate number. You never know, they may have had other reports with the same or similar physical description but no license plate number. If they enter a report in their system off your call his data will be on record and will come up if searched at a later date from a similar or more severe event.

If you see something, say something.

 

[dkak001]

Complete change of subject. Anyone else have an Android phone that suddenly has become an autocorrect fiend? It's like the stupid phone thinks it knows better what I want to write than I do.

Yes. Android auto correct must now be using AI. It's absolutely horrible lately.

 

[LeSabreur]

I did tell Hubby last night how scared I was, and he said the same thing you did that I could have told him. I just know I can be drama, and when I called him, I kinda worried that is what I was being. But deep down I knew I wasn't. I just didn't want him to worry.

I'm happy to hear that your husband invites difficult communication. You sound very well cared for.

 

[lil_jenni]

I went back to that store today. The same cashier was there, and we chatted for bit. She slowed the creepy guy down by "accidently" resetting the point of sale terminal so she had to rescan everything.

She told me it was obvious he was bothering me, from my body language and tone but his as well. She said the manager went and watched the tapes and noted the guy started following me several minutes before he helped me. We think he was waiting for the opportunity to engage. Anyway, they have my back. So, I bought them chocolate and coffee.

In other news, I took and passed my real estate exam today. I didn't realize it would be graded immediately, but I guess that is the advantage of computer testing. Anyway, now I just have to wait for the license process to finish. If all goes well, I will start with the brokerage on Feb 2nd.

I did find out I will always need to be affiliated with a broker unless I become a broker. I misunderstood what Beth had told me. I thought it was for a year, but in my state it is always necessary for someone with a real estate sales person license to be affiliated with a broker. Beth is still affiliated with her ex (with whom I will be working for a year or so) because he is a broker and she is not, but she is otherwise independent. And when I am ready, we will be partners. But for now, I will working at the brokerage.

That means the twins will need to be a daycare more often. I have been taking them once or twice a week the last several weeks, but it will need to be more often here soon, although I will be able to work from home up to 50% of the time, depending on showings and open houses and stuff. So, I'm excited... and nervous.