SouthernDom
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2006
- Posts
- 130
chun_gong said:~Blacklace~: Funny you should choose face slapping as a hard limit. i had that same discussion with my Master today. i am personally indifferent to it, however, it is a hard limit for him. i respect that.
There are a million "BDSM Check Lists" online. i have taken several and bastardized them, making my own. It was a good project for me to sit and consider just what my hard and soft limits were...and more importantly WHY! After some soul searching on a few of the items, it gave me a greater insight into myself.
i like this Scene Negotiation & Checklist Although, it is WAYYYY comprehensive. Kind of interesting (off topic) to look at the things one might consider when 'scening' with someone new. The actual list i started with (an excel spreadsheet) was a Limits Checklist. i combined the two and added in info from other checklists. When i was through, my Master was kind enough to review my ideas. This was a good way to see where we both stood...in our neutral time.
There was an old thread that was touched on recently: The limits we thought we had...Forever?!? Cool reading and great for thoughts.
Why do i just throw all of this random "data" out there without answering much? Well, undoubtedly someone (like me) will run across this and benefit from it.
As for me, i am certain that my limits will change over time - actually some already have in short order. IMHO, it's even natural. (With the exception of some of the hard limits that we ALL share...children, etc.) My Master is wonderful and i trust him endlessly...his guidance is what i rely on most.
A sub (pyl) should have limits and their Dom/me (PYL) should have limits as well. somewhere therein lies the truth!
Sorry if this is too far off topic.
j
Good Post!
I go with the list method of setting limits or restriction on scenes.......but i also feel like each activity should have a value system that allows the Dom to gain perspective of how much the sub likes or dislikes each activity.
The checklist should also be updated as the relationship becomes more intense because the sub might be more openminded to try more extreme activities after the bond of trust has grown a bit.
This a time to bare the soul,without accurate info the Dom's read of the sub is altered and can jeapordise the physical & emotion well being of their scene partner.
If a sub overstates their case in an attempt to make themselves seem more submissive than they really are it can be disasterous within a scene.
By the same token a shy or shameful sub who will not express their true needs on an activity checklist has held back the Dom from truly satisfying them.
SouthernDom
