Long Distance Woes

[MissTaken]

Thank you sweet lady!! You know we both think the world of you, and i'm so glad you have found such blissful happiness!!

Hmmm, he can cook too?? Sounds like a keeper to me!!

Aww big hugs to you both!


Yes, he is an incredible cook and definitely a keeper. Sort of like that 5 pound bass I almost caught!

 

[A's Sweet Baby]

Miss T,
It is difficult being so far from Daddy and wanting to be with him every chance i get. The biggest thing that helps me right now is knowing that one day we will no longer be in a LDR and it will be 24/7 (and knowing that he looks as forward to that as i do). And communication helps - telling him when i am having a harder time than usual, letting him know when hopelessness starts to creep in, turning to him for strength (rather than pulling away and putting up walls trying to steel myself against the sadness of being apart).

So, short answer is .... you are not alone!

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, sweet baby.

Yes, talking and communicating our feelings is important.

We can go days with silliness and just serious of fun talk and then once in a while, we both have to unload all those feelings to one another.

It isn't so bad.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Separated by the Atlantic

Ms.T and sisters in LDR's.; I can attest to the longings of being apart from your lover. I've been in a LDR with Sir Dave for over 2 years now and each visit brings both euphoria in the beginning and deep depression at its ending. The flight home is usually full of tears and longing which lasts for several weeks as I adjust to being without Him. I long for His touch, the feel of His skin next to mine. Yes, I hate it, but circumstances at this time dictate that we be apart. Whilst we are physically divided, our souls are always joined and its thru emails and IM's,phone conversations, and moments when I feel His thoughts seeking me that I keep my sanity.
LDR's can be difficult, but its my belief that if one can with stand the rigours of it, then the resulting relationship will be one of such strength that nothing will ever threaten its survival.
My and respect go out to all who choose this type of relationship.

-kym- Holding fast to Him

 

[DVS]

MissT, I'll add my ever so infinite wisdom to this thread. See, you already have your ears perked up, because I've said I have infinite wisdom. How easy it is to lie on these forums!

But, what I think your problem is might also be your joy. You look forward to your visits and even go to great trouble to make them happen. You have to plan for time together among the other things that continue to happen in your lives.

That in itself is compounding both your joy together and also your fear of it not happening one week, and also the inevitable time you must say goodbye after each visit.

The more a visit becomes difficult to make happen, the more you enjoy that visit. The more you enjoy that visit, the more difficult it is to say goodbye when the time comes.

No, I don't have an answer, but maybe knowing what is happening will help you cope with it more? All I can tell you is someday those weekly visits will no longer necessary, giving way to the 24/7. For some things, looking further into the future can calm your stressful present.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Well, MissT, I can understand how you feel. Been there, done that. JM and I spent a full year in our LDR before He moved here a month ago and we finally, wonderfully began our 24/7 life together in the same HOUSE.

LDRs are a bitch. No doubt about it. They take immeasurable commitment, organization, patience, and just plain old fortitude, that you have to dig up out of places you never thought you had. I learned alot about myself as a person in the year I spent doing this.

One of the interesting things I learned was not to focus so much on the BDSM (OH HORRORS!!) and to work at the relationship. Relationship skills, if you don't have them, or if you don't work at them, will doom you to failure in an LDR.

We saw each other every couple of months. Talked each and every night, without fail. IMd every afternoon.

Nothing really very special, but we stayed connected, even though we were 550 miles apart.

Did I get impatient? Oh yeah. Did I get depressed when I left visiting him? Oh yeah? Did we deal? Yep. It was hard, and I couldn't wait for him to finally get here, but it was ultimately worth it in the end, and that, I think is what you have to look at. What you have coming to you, down the road.

What is the payoff?

If your payoff is just those weekly visits, well then, come to an acceptence of that payoff.

If you are planning to eventually move in together, look to the future, and plan for that. Know that there will be a payoff for you, and it will be all worth it.

My long-winded 2 cents.

~anelize

 

[Bandit58]

Well, MissT, I can understand how you feel. Been there, done that. JM and I spent a full year in our LDR before He moved here a month ago and we finally, wonderfully began our 24/7 life together in the same HOUSE.

LDRs are a bitch. No doubt about it. They take immeasurable commitment, organization, patience, and just plain old fortitude, that you have to dig up out of places you never thought you had. I learned alot about myself as a person in the year I spent doing this.

One of the interesting things I learned was not to focus so much on the BDSM (OH HORRORS!!) and to work at the relationship. Relationship skills, if you don't have them, or if you don't work at them, will doom you to failure in an LDR.

We saw each other every couple of months. Talked each and every night, without fail. IMd every afternoon.

Nothing really very special, but we stayed connected, even though we were 550 miles apart.

Did I get impatient? Oh yeah. Did I get depressed when I left visiting him? Oh yeah? Did we deal? Yep. It was hard, and I couldn't wait for him to finally get here, but it was ultimately worth it in the end, and that, I think is what you have to look at. What you have coming to you, down the road.

What is the payoff?

If your payoff is just those weekly visits, well then, come to an acceptence of that payoff.

If you are planning to eventually move in together, look to the future, and plan for that. Know that there will be a payoff for you, and it will be all worth it.

My long-winded 2 cents.

~anelize

Been there done that too......Master and I have been together in r/t for 2 months now and it just keeps getting better. We were friends here at Lit before we got a lot closer in July last year, and it was another 4 months before we met face to face. We spent 3 wonderful weeks together before I went back to sell up and got back to Him 6 weeks later.

When we were apart we tried to talk online most days, it helped to know He missed me as much as I missed Him. We would comfort each other....we counted the sleeps until we would be together.....and I tried to keep busy but there were times in the night I would ache to feel His arms around me.....

I've had to move countries (from NZ to Australia) and I'm still getting used to life in the city. Master has health problems and has His bad days, but never have I felt so loved and cherished by anyone in my life. Oh it has certainly been worth all the pain of separation!

Good luck to you Miss T and to all in LDRs may you come to know the joy that Master and I have now we are together

 

[MissTaken]

Well, the kidlings and I are with scooter this weekend.

Just peeking in to say "hello", when I am feeling all is well and right .