Losing your faith

[Ebonyfire]

Everyone should feel they can participate

without being attacked, and that includes moderators. Risia, cym, be sure to come back when you can.

Ebony

 

[Soron]

Responding

Most who have posted here have read the thread cym suggested I start...'Communication'

I need this place to help keep what mo and I have real...I need to post to people who are honest and open with me...I have few r/l firends anymore I can talk about this lifestyle to...this is my safe haven...I'll do whatever I can to keep it just that...REAL talk

 

[monster666]

Risia,

I have been quiet here for the past few days for the most part because I feel like I cannot contribute anything positive. I have a habit of taking bait, and that's not a good trait to have while there are flamewars going on.

Let me just add my voice to those who support yourself and cym, and appreciate everything you've done here to foster an environment where we can learn and laugh and support one another.

As a sysop for a local bulletin board that hosted and carried international newgroups for over 7 years before 1995, I fully understand how difficult it can be to moderate. I don't expect you to make every decision the way I would. Nor do I even expect to agree with every single one. But you'll always have my support for every one of them because I trust that they are all made with the best intentions to be fair and within the guidance of the simple rules that have been laid out for all of us.

My years of moderating my own board led me to the following conclusions:

* My board was not going to be suited to everyone.
* Not everyone was going to like me.
* All of my decisions were going to come under fire from someone
* There are shit-stirring assholes that will try to make my life miserable no matter what I do. So I may as well just blow them off and do what I think is right.
* It was my board, dammit, and I didn't start it so that the great shit-stirrs of cyberspace could silence my own voice just to placate another vision of what it was all supposed to be about.
* Being a sysop, or moderator, does not mean being a doormat. Once in a while, someone deserves a "bite me", and it's okay to say it.
* I am going to make mistakes. Any reasonable person will understand that and not start a shitwar over it. The rest can bite me.

To say that your work as moderators is appreciated is fine, and it really is, but to me, your voices as individuals are every bit as important. Those of us who love you (and we do) want you to be able to be yourselves, and post your thoughts and feelings and ups and downs the same way the rest of us can. Please feel free to be human.

I have no doubt you already knew all of this, I just want you to know you have my understanding, my respect and my full support. I think the board has bang-up moderators, and I always did.
**************
To mg, Willow, Cellis, Caroline & Sam and whoever else has expressed the same sentiments I have been feeling, listen up; cym is coming back and I have a feeling she'll be coming back with some attitude, regrouped, refreshed and ready to cope, and I have no doubt we'll be back on track PDQ. Then we'll see where the sniveling lies.

There's a pretty cool bunch here, and I am happy to know every one of you. This place is going to be fine.

I've seen it too, mg. Sometimes, it seems like this place will become just another Playground, full of the endless one-line "oh yes, you're so hot! Smack my ass again" flirt posts. Sometimes, it feels like there's no room for real life and real people here.

However, that's only sometimes.

I agree with the guidelines of this community, and I've made an effort to always follow them, at least as often as is possible for just one more fallible human.

I think you're safe here, at least as safe as you ever were. Trolls are like bees; they sting, but they squash easily and don't amount to much. I think there's little chance of your personal sharing getting turned around--at least, no more chance than there was before.

I think we can be whatever community we decide to be. But I think, personally, that I value the discussion cym started so long ago far too much to just let it fade into the sunset. I won't go without a fight, but if this place becomes a haven for make-believe, I'm gone. There's no judgement in that, just a statement of my personal preferences, desires, and contingency plan.


I agree with you on all counts, Sam.

It was incredibly difficult (for me) not to lash out at the haters and cym-bashing, but I didn't want to either be a hypocrite by sinking to that level or be a force for negativity. Sometimes, I can't be a person, a real one with thoughts and feelings and friends and opinions and even bad days where I yell. Sometimes, I have to be a "role model" and a "Moderator." And, even when I do that as well as I possibly can in keeping with my own conscience, someone is always unhappy with the choices I make, or that Mods make in general.

In deciding to take the high (some would say "high horse") road, I alienated and hurt a friend who really needed to feel the support of this community--or at least of her close friends--because she was being attacked, and hurt, by others. Sometimes, there's no right answer no matter what you do, and that's why I've decided to take a step back from this place for a while.

I'll still be here to take out the trash and check in, but it's going to be a while before I read many of the threads again. Maybe, as the dust settles, there'll be room for Moderators to be just people, even ones with real and strong and informed opinions and emotions and human frailties, again. Perhaps, and here's hoping. Until then, I offer you this:

RisiaSkye
BDSM Forum Moderator & Participant

 

[RisiaSkye]

Thank you, all of you, for the remarkable words of support and the positive turn you've directed the board into in the last few days.



RS

 

[CarolineOh]

Somebody please explain this to me.

Certain people are entrusted to become moderators because through their postings they have become known to the forum at large to be knowledgable and trustworthy, and once they have been named moderators, they ought to shut up and no longer post their insights and opinions?

Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

 

[monster666]

If "Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense" is sarcasm as I am sure it is, then I agree, Caroline.

[
QUOTE]Originally posted by CarolineOh
Somebody please explain this to me.

Certain people are entrusted to become moderators because through their postings they have become known to the forum at large to be knowledgable and trustworthy, and once they have been named moderators, they ought to shut up and no longer post their insights and opinions?

Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense. [/QUOTE]

 

[CarolineOh]

If "Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense" is sarcasm as I am sure it is, then I agree, Caroline.

Yes, it was meant to be sarcastic.

I can't imagine how the moderators here could possibly do a better job than they have done. The idea that they ought to not post their opinions is ludicrous, and can only be ascribed to sore feelings by those who can't hope to match their wisdom and experience.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Gee RS

Thank you, all of you, for the remarkable words of support and the positive turn you've directed the board into in the last few days.



RS

Come back and play with Eb, she be missing you and that cym gal!

 

[morninggirl5]

Yes, it was meant to be sarcastic.

I can't imagine how the moderators here could possibly do a better job than they have done. The idea that they ought to not post their opinions is ludicrous, and can only be ascribed to sore feelings by those who can't hope to match their wisdom and experience.

Can i just say, ditto?






Oh, i did already, didn't i?

 

[MotorCitySam]

This whole issue of the moderators right to post perplexs me. What could be gained by stilling our most experienced voices?
I hope that Risia and cym realize that for every naysayer they have many, many supporters.

 

[artful]

My Opinion

I personally look forward to learning more from such experienced people as cymbidia, RS, WD and others that post valuable information in the BDSM Forum. I don't know of anyone who doesn't want them to post.

 

[cymbidia]

Y'all are...wonderful. Thank you.

 

[WillowPuss]

Y'all are...wonderful. Thank you.

If this means you are back .... YAY!!!!!


Please stay put now ..... pretty please.

 

[cymbidia]

Willow, thank you but i'm leaving early Wednesday morning (in this case, early = 3am - in about 26 hours) to go see my family and Risia and MasterMe for a week. I'll be back after that, though, and R and i will post here from her house, a post that'll include details of seing the elusive MasterMe in the flesh. I know he exists; i've talked to him a bunch on thr phone. This will simply lend another level of reality to his corporeal existence.

A thought:
I'm getting up at 3am on Wednesday morning to fly to R's city. When i get there, i have to get a car and drive to my mom's, hang with her a while, then drive over to R's. From there, we'll be driiving again; we're all going gambling and playing and drinking and stuff all night in a casino east of town. Do you suppose R and MM will take advantage of my by-then sleep-deprived and certainly muddled state to win vast sums of money (like a few rolls of nickles) off me in that casino?

 

[tassie]

the unscrupulous risia and the evil cym? ye gods what a combination...

have a fab time honey, and bring me back a souvenir!

(hope your mum copes with the latest installment of her deviant daughters life, your tale of coming out to her did make me laugh!)

 

[WillowPuss]

Willow, thank you but i'm leaving early Wednesday morning (in this case, early = 3am - in about 26 hours) to go see my family and Risia and MasterMe for a week. I'll be back after that, though, and R and i will post here from her house, a post that'll include details of seing the elusive MasterMe in the flesh.

Hmmm well, OK.
I suppose that is a valid reason ....

but - there's lots here that miss you!


Ohh and as for taking advantage ...
with a switch and a Dom ... I might be worried about more than a few rolls of nickels. (What are they? How many cents, I mean?)

 

[cymbidia]

Like someone else who shall remain nameless, i think that my mother is sometimes living vicariously through me and my, ah, adventures. She is, however, glad i've decided against proceeding with the poly relationship. She wants me to find a nice sadistic domly sort to settle down with. You know, just what all mothers want for thier daughters.

 

[morninggirl5]

She wants me to find a nice sadistic domly sort to settle down with. You know, just what all mothers want for thier daughters.

I wonder what my mother would say if i asked her if that's what she's always wanted for me?

 

[tassie]

sheesh its just like the waltons.

 

[cymbidia]

I might be worried about more than a few rolls of nickels. (What are they? How many cents, I mean?)

A nickle is five cents, Willow, and barely worth bending over to pick up in the street.

 

[CarolineOh]

A nickle is five cents, Willow, and barely worth bending over to pick up in the street.

And what sort of things do you think are worth bending over for hmm?

 

[WillowPuss]

And what sort of things do you think are worth bending over for hmm?

Well, I sure am glad it was you asking that question, Caroline!
(I want to know that too ... just too chicken to ask!)