Male subs

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Great topic Miss T

Which brings me to the observation/question, as a sub, have i given up my right to expect pleasure other than serving my Dom/me?

It never fails to surprise me when this question is asked.

Why would you think that you have given up any expectations? Don't you discuss expectations with your Dom/me?

Are you talking about the expectation of orgasm, sex? Why submit? Is it to satisfy a specific kink?

I ask not to put you on the spot, but to get you to think about what are your motives. Your question can only be answered in the context of what you crave and/or desire from D/s.

Sex is just another type of service. If, in fact you are participating in a power exchange, you need to be clear on just what type(s) of power you are giving up. In other words, these should be negotiated between individual submissives and Dom/mes.

Eb

 

[amsubone]

Re: Re: Re: Great topic Miss T

It never fails to surprise me when this question is asked.

I ask not to put you on the spot, but to get you to think about what are your motives. Your question can only be answered in the context of what you crave and/or desire from D/s.

Sex is just another type of service. If, in fact you are participating in a power exchange, you need to be clear on just what type(s) of power you are giving up. In other words, these should be negotiated between individual submissives and Dom/mes.

Eb

i have never thought about this in those terms. In the past, things "just happened" w/o much forethought. Now i begin to understand why past relationships have been unsatisfactory. i guess, for a romantic like myself, it seems to lack some spontaneity.

Thanks for the questions. You've given me much to ponder.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Great topic Miss T

i have never thought about this in those terms. In the past, things "just happened" w/o much forethought. Now i begin to understand why past relationships have been unsatisfactory. i guess, for a romantic like myself, it seems to lack some spontaneity.

Thanks for the questions. You've given me much to ponder.

You are welcome. Dominants and submissives need to remember that good relationships do not just happen.

Good D/s relationships are even more doomed to fail without a lot of work. A lot of that work is communicating expectations and needs between the participants.

Eb

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

... I also find that male subs have a tendency to sometimes become macho with vanilla women. If they date, they are very dominant, cause they choose to date submissive women. Of course that feeds into societal expectations.

But as soon as they spy a dominant woman their whole demeanor changes. If there are no people around who knows their macho persona, they will behave in a submissive manner, deferring to the dominant before them ...
Ebony

That describes me almost perfectly. If I'm with a woman who exhibits a submissive nature, then I'll take that and run with it. I'll completely dictate the nature of the relationship, where we go, when I'll call (or even except calls), etc ... But when I have been with women who were dominant (not Dommes, but dominant none the less) I have accepted their innate feminine authority without question.

 

[Ebonyfire]

But when I have been with women who were dominant (not Dommes, but dominant none the less) I have accepted their innate feminine authority without question.

You bring up a good point. Many times women are not declared Dommes in that they are not into BDSM and or D/s. They are natural dominants who behave in that fashion, and only function according to societal expectations by hiding their dominance. I did that for many uears, before deciding "screw it" I do not want some man running my business.

Eb

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

You bring up a good point. Many times women are not declared Dommes in that they are not into BDSM and or D/s. They are natural dominants who behave in that fashion, and only function according to societal expectations by hiding their dominance. I did that for many uears, before deciding "screw it" I do not want some man running my business.

Eb

Virtually ever woman who has every spanked me, had me clean her house, fucked me in the ass, or made me put on tile-layer's knee pads and eat her pussy for a couple of hours has fallen into that category. They had definite dominant tendencies, but they were not into the BDSM scene.

 

[MissTaken]

Thanks all for responding.

The thread was slow to get going, but there is some great information and discussion.

Keep it rolling!

 

[pierced_boy]

Bump

%$

 

[Ebonyfire]

Bump

 

[WreckingMachine]

I am not usually a sub, unless it is with an older woman. Woman my age all seem to be sub. personalities to me. Then again I am a big guy and alot of my friends say I am intimidating, so maybe that plays into it. I feel alot of older women know how to deal with stronger personalities and people. For a guy being a sub does tend to go against societies expectations, and we are afraid of being seen as weak. However there is something beautiful about submitting yourself to the control of a person you trust. I believe on some level all men crave giving up the control (or illusion there of) that society says we should model/have at all times.

 

[aerofreak]

I am not usually a sub, unless it is with an older woman. Woman my age all seem to be sub. personalities to me. Then again I am a big guy and alot of my friends say I am intimidating, so maybe that plays into it. I feel alot of older women know how to deal with stronger personalities and people.

you just haven't found the right woman your age... one of the things that i love is knowing that i male who is bigger than me, and could probably easily hurt me if he wanted to, is submitting to me and allowing me to put him in a position where i could easily hurt him... and is trusting me to not hurt him.

 

[entitled]

As a person that tends to keep to myself for the most part and one that learns from watching and listening instead of asking questions, i've wondered for a long time what makes a male sub tick, so to speak. It always amazed me that they could even think of bowing down to somebody else. After reading this thread i realized that it's very much a struggle for them. Silly me didn't even entertain the idea.

This is a good thread that makes a person think. Keep the responses coming, please!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Sub male here

I have allways been a sub .I have been going to kinky meetings looking for a single women to play with ( with no Luck) But I work with my dad in a shop of 1000 men One day at work a fellow worker told my dad he seen me in a kinky metting getting whiped . My dad didn't understand anything about it so the fellow worker told him all about the life styl. And at the dinner table that night dad told the whole family that I was kinky. Ma ,2 sisters, and one brother were at the table. We ended up talking about it the whole meal. Well they all know now. That was over 20 years ago.And I'm still looking in Lowell MA. I have another story That just happend with ma and her computer .But that a differnt story.

What I find interesting about what you shared is that you and your family sat down and discussed things. That is rare indeed. My subs are deep in the closet about their lifestyle.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Exactly

<snip> there is something beautiful about submitting yourself to the control of a person you trust. I believe on some level all men crave giving up the control (or illusion there of) that society says we should model/have at all times.

I do not know about all men, but I believe that men and women seek balance in their lives. Submission is one way some men get that balance they seek.

Eb