Married Men or Women

[bigleonardo]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Married Men or Women

Hmmm...I was going to avoid this, but especially after photo-god's comments I just couldn't pass it up.

Was it a turn on? No more or less than being with anyone else, really. He was just a man after all, not some sort of superior being.

Was it something that was more exciting than being with a single person Oh HELL no! Oh, yes, in the beginning everything was fun and easy. Then he fell in love with me. (contrary to photo-god's belief that it is a single woman who falls for the guy) Now, the thing was, if HE had a family commitment, it was all well and fine for him to cancel out on a date with me at the last minute. BUT, if I had an opportunity to go out with some one, and he and I weren't meeting up anyway, he would go ballistic. He didn't want to divorce his wife (the kids, after all, you know - and the house - and the business - and he might lose his truck - so MUCH to consider!), but he didn't want me going out with anyone else. I was to be at his beck and call 24/7, because of course, being married, he never knew when he could catch a few moments away from wifey-poo.

So, no, it wasn't more exciting than being with a single man. It was a hellish prison that I was thankful to finally have the sense to say good-bye to. At least with single men you don't get that double standard thing going on to that degree.

Plus, even though single men will lie, married men do it a whole hell of a lot better. Like the line, "My wife just won't have sex with me anymore"? Yeah, sure, uh-huh, whatever. More like, "My wife won't have sex as often as I want." BIG difference, guys. And any man who tells me they are married and don't have sex? Don't be surprised if I laugh in your face, cuz it IS a lie!

Did you feel a sense of getting caught which made it more exciting No, didn't have that. Why? Because we were caught. And getting caught is NO fun. Oh, of course, he just "accidently" left my phone number on the front seat of her car. And my picture just "happened" to fall out of the visor of his truck when his wife drove it to the store one day. Listening to a pathetic, crying woman on my answering machine begging me to leave her husband alone is anything BUT exciting.

Oh? And the real kicker? When his wife didn't know where he was, she would call me and then put their 5 year old son on the phone when I answered to asked where his "daddy" was. Yeah. That's what ended it. Nope. No excitement there. They were both wackos, and I'm thankful to have neither one of them in my life anymore.

Married men? Nope. No way. Never, ever again. Can't trust 'em, don't want 'em, totally uninterested in 'em. They have some one to take care of their "needs" - and if they think their wife isn't doing just that, then they need to look at their relationship and find out what is wrong instead of looking for a new bed to hop into.

Well? You did ask....

Obviously this guy was a wacko.....weather single or married, if a married man is having an affair with either a single woman or a married woman, he has to respect her freedom.....

One thing I do disagree, is that some men don't have sex with there wive's anylonger, yes it can be a line as my wife doesn't understand me any longer, but we are staying together for the kids....but in my case....my wife and I had a totally fulfilling sex life, until she had a minor heart problem, that had her in the hospital for a few days, it was cardiac arhytmia (sp) and to keep her heart beat normal....the medications that do that job, do stop the desire's in a woman, plus she is also on an anti depresentent and they also take the buzz out of either a guy or a girl.....

Hell I want my wife and her ticker to be fine....but occasionaly if i go out to play the person I am playing with knows full well of my position......and if she wants to that is simply up to her, but for me to put boundries on her would be sick...totally irresponsible....

 

[eztouch101]

sexechele

I have to disagree with the comment that married couples claiming not to have sex is a lie. I will disagree, with the following concessions. I do not consider once a year as "having sex", I do not consider masturbation as "having sex", if it was mutual masturbation-ok but not reading a story with a vibrator.

With those exceptions, I agree with you. Men are Jerks when it comes to satisfying a good woman.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, sorry Leonardo and eztouch, but except for the VERY rare occasion and EXTREME extenuating circumstances, most married men lie outright about the amount of sex they receive from their wives. For some reason that I have yet to be able to understand, I get hit on a lot by married men. These are usually men I know to some degree - and I usually end up having a little chat with their wives.

Funny how wives view the situation VERY differently from their husbands. And even stranger is the fact that most of these wives feel that their husbands take them for granted, no longer strive to keep the romance alive, expect them to deliver sex on demand when they have worked full time, taken care of children, and done household chores. (of course, while he's kicking back watching the latest sporting event.)

So, no. I don't buy it. If men feel they aren't getting enough sex in marriage (which is more normally the case instead of "none"), then it is a symptom of a much bigger problem in the relationship that needs to be dealt with.

And Leonardo, I'm curious. Do you have your wife's "permission" to fuck other women? The reason being is that I've had 3 men give me the same excuse (wife can no longer have sex due to health reasons), but only 1 claimed that he had permission from his wife to seek out "one woman" to have a strictly sexual relationship with. It was just curious to me. If a woman knows she can't satisfy her husband in one area, why not get her permission and "blessing" to find that satisfaction elsewhere, possibly even have the "other woman" meet her to establish a mutual relationship?

But then, all of this is truly my own opinion.

 

[eztouch101]

sexechele===>

I am curious as to how you present yourself to the wife, after her husband hits on you.

Do you act like the victim who was (almost) molested by the bad, unfaithful cheating husband?

Do you act like the savior of the wife's marriage, from the unfaithful, cheating, asshole husband?

Do you act like an innocent friend who wants to let the wife know (I don't understand what happened but do you know what Fred just said to me...)what her unfaithful, cheating, asshole, with no good taste husband is trying to do behind her back?

Do you let married men know, unequivically, that you have no interest in them as a sex partner?

Do you have a count on the marriages you saved vs. the marriages you helped place "on the rocks"?

Personally, I admire your obvious good looks and sexual awareness and intelligent insight. Problem with some of us mensas is we think too much about everything, instead of just enjoying life. The questions are meant to be sincere not snotty.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: sexechele===>

I am curious as to how you present yourself to the wife, after her husband hits on you.

Do you act like the victim who was (almost) molested by the bad, unfaithful cheating husband?

No, I do not see myself as a "victim". I handed in my "I'm a victim" button back in my 20s. The only person who can make a victim of anyone is your own self.

Do you act like the savior of the wife's marriage, from the unfaithful, cheating, asshole husband?

Nope. Not up to me to "save" a marriage. Chances are, if anyone tries to let the wife "know" her husband is cheating, the person doing the telling is out in the cold. Most women are very well aware their husbands are cheating - it's just a matter of whether they choose to admit it consciously to themselves or not. And most women do not want to be told by an outside party.

Do you act like an innocent friend who wants to let the wife know (I don't understand what happened but do you know what Fred just said to me...)what her unfaithful, cheating, asshole, with no good taste husband is trying to do behind her back?

I have not known the wife of every married man who has hit on me. But with those that I do, I never go running back and tell the wife what he just did. But if the man uses the "I don't get any" as an excuse, it is very easy to get women talking about their sex lives if you aleady know them as a friend - and without implicating hubby.

Do you let married men know, unequivically, that you have no interest in them as a sex partner?

Absolutely. Without a doubt, every married couple I am friends with knows that at one time I had an affair with a married man. Wives can be a bit stand-offish until they know I have no desire to repeat the situation. Married men, on the other hand, seem to think that since I've done it before I can be talked into doing it again. I've also placed ads on the internet that have specifically stated I am not into married men, due to the high volume of responses I was receiving from married men. Even with that, I would get responses such as "I have a wife in name only because of the kids", "my wife stopped being a 'wife' years ago", and (my personal favorite) "I'm only somewhat married". (Yeah, that's like a "little bit pregnant"!) Now, those ad state if they have anyone in the place where they reside who they call "wife" they are not to respond to me as I will delete their response. The result? Yes, you got it - I still get married men trying to "talk" me into why they are perfect for me. *sigh*

Do you have a count on the marriages you saved vs. the marriages you helped place "on the rocks"?

All I know is that I put one marriage very close, if not on, the rocks. I betrayed a fellow sister (another woman), and I would never want a woman to treat me in that fashion. Anyone who goes about the business of attempting to "save" or "ruin" a marriage will find very quickly that they are the one in the proverbial doghouse. It ain't worth it to me when there are better things to concentrate on. If a marriage succeeds or fails, it will not be because of my intervention or lack of it.

Personally, I admire your obvious good looks and sexual awareness and intelligent insight.

Why, thank you!

Problem with some of us mensas is we think too much about everything, instead of just enjoying life.

Sometimes life is to be pondered, sometimes just enjoyed.

The questions are meant to be sincere not snotty.

They were not taken as being "snotty", so no problem. And, again, this is just one woman's opinion here. I don't say I'm right or wrong. I do what is right for me, based on my own life experiences. Married people cheat - at what some would call an alarming rate. One or two people are not going to change that outcome. If I moralize on the topic, I moralize more to myself than any particular person. What happens between man and wife is between them - I just asked to be left out of it.

 

[eztouch101]

good honest answers Sexe!

You clarified a misunderstanding I had. I can see that you do not contact the wife and discuss her husband, but rather you attempt to confirm the bull-shit that the husband told you, and you to it in an obtuse manner.

I certainly can see why you are such a popular person on this board.

May I lust for you even if I am married and not getting any from my wife? I promise, I will not hit on you.

 

[bigleonardo]

And Leonardo, I'm curious. Do you have your wife's "permission" to fuck other women? The reason being is that I've had 3 men give me the same excuse (wife can no longer have sex due to health reasons), but only 1 claimed that he had permission from his wife to seek out "one woman" to have a strictly sexual relationship with. It was just curious to me. If a woman knows she can't satisfy her husband in one area, why not get her permission and "blessing" to find that satisfaction elsewhere, possibly even have the "other woman" meet her to establish a mutual relationship?

But then, all of this is truly my own opinion. [/B][/QUOTE]

I haven't sought my wife's permisssion to be able to fuck another woman.....I feel that would bring her self esteem down further than it might already be, We had an open relationship before this event took place......She had other men and women....but I believe it is better for her at this point not to know.

And I do it on my terms only......Only when she is working....no weekends no nights.....no major sums of money being spent on the other person, mostly it's another woman that is in a similiar position that I am in....

I am not hurting anyone.....just enjoying an occasional sexual adventure once in awhile......If I do it twice a year that is it....

 

[SexyChele]

Re: good honest answers Sexe!

May I lust for you even if I am married and not getting any from my wife? I promise, I will not hit on you.

Leonardo - you sound a little defensive there, hon. I truly didn't mean any disrepect. That's why I tried to clarify by stating in my posts that this is only my opinion. After all, what is my opinion truly worth? It's really only valuable to me, and I don't get hurt by having people understand that.

So....friends?

 

[SlyFox]

Slamming the married men

This is a fascinating thread. Unfortunately I felt that some of the women posters have tarred all husbands with the same brush. Yes, I agree one hell of a lot of married guys are exactly as described - real assholes and consumate liars. I admit to having several affairs with other married women during my first marriage. But I avoided getting sexually involved with single women simply because I was unwilling to mislead them.

My choice in my first marriage would have been to have an "open" relationship, but that was totally out of the question with her. She preferred to "cheat" and deny everything - to me AND to herself and eventually the marriage ended because we could not come to an agreement on this issue.

My second (current) marriage of more than 20 years, fortunately, started off as a completely open, honest and trusting relationship - even when we first began dating. Our definition of "cheating" and being "unfaithful" is fucking someone outside our primary relationship in secret. Our rule is that the spouse has to know and approve of the outside activities or they just don't happen - and haven't happened since we've been together.

And, believe me, I would never have to use the "excuse" that "I don't get any (or enough) sex at home. That woman turns me every way but loose in every way that counts

And btw, I'm a "stay at home" kind of guy and my wife is the breadwinner - her choice as well as mine! I do the grocery shopping and she does most of the rest of the shopping - mostly on E-Bay. And after she set the kitchen on fire (again) the last time she tried to cook something, she's barred from the kitchen except to give a big hug while I'm peeling the potatoes. I do watch sports during the NFL season, but otherwise we usually find things more interesting to do than watch tv - like inviting a friend or two over for "playtime" (And we always share the housekeeping - we BOTH hate it - and we work together in the workshop!)

So, guys, not ALL married men are total assholes - just most of them

My 2 cents worth

SlyFox

 

[bigleonardo]

Re: Re: good honest answers Sexe!

Leonardo - you sound a little defensive there, hon. I truly didn't mean any disrepect. That's why I tried to clarify by stating in my posts that this is only my opinion. After all, what is my opinion truly worth? It's really only valuable to me, and I don't get hurt by having people understand that.

So....friends?

I am sorry if my post came out sounding defensive....I was just telling 'my story' . Others opinions are always valid, at times not only to themselves, but someone else might see a solution to a situation or a problem they are having by reading opinions. I wasn't trying to justify what I was doing just saying why....
and I surely am not upset....and of course friends....no anomiosity (sp) at all on this end

 

[eztouch101]

Therapy 101

Just imagine the people who do not no about Lit BBs. They have to pay a phsyc to get this type of cure.

I love it (The BBs).

 

[Jimi]

A married guy rants!

Well, sorry Leonardo and eztouch, but except for the VERY rare occasion and EXTREME extenuating circumstances, most married men lie outright about the amount of sex they receive from their wives.

Funny how wives view the situation VERY differently from their husbands.
So, no. I don't buy it. If men feel they aren't getting enough sex in marriage (which is more normally the case instead of "none"), then it is a symptom of a much bigger problem in the relationship that needs to be dealt with.

And Leonardo, I'm curious. Do you have your wife's "permission" to fuck other women? But then, all of this is truly my own opinion.

I'm a Newbie but I have to jump in here:

1. I wouldn't be on this Board if I had any kind of normal sex life. I still love my wife, and she me, in a sort of brother & sisterly way - but our sex life is essentially non-existent. Which is too bad - in over 20 years of marriage at least 8 of them were almost sex-less - but the only "straying" I have done to date is 2 occasions of naked mutual masterbation and 2 blowjobs... and those incidents were sporadic, and only after six-month periods at least of enforced celibacy! AND the sex was so good when it was there, that the "replacements" were decidedly inadequate!

Jerking off to good erotica was better -So I'm whining - So What?

I say "to date" - we are both getting to the point where we feel we should live apart... After that - I want what everyone does Intimacy and physical affection! In the interim, I choose to play here...

2. When I have broached the subject of physical intimacy - there HAS been tacit consent to find solace elsewhere - but DON'T wave it in her face - which I would not do because I respect her too much as a person - as I said it's become a brother/sister-type relationship.

We, along with our 13 year-old son are in counselling - and it was ME that got us there... so contrary to popular "opinion"

Sorry, sweetie - forgive an old cormudgeon his rant

Jimi

 

[Max27]

Re: Re: Married affairs

I have to agreed with bigleonardo, the danger and the excitement. It also has been fun for me too.

so I also ask, if I may, have you played as well? Just how do you find yourselves in situations that allow a fling to happen?

does this sound like a dumb question?

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Re: Re: Married affairs

Just how do you find yourselves in situations that allow a fling to happen?

does this sound like a dumb question?

Well, I obviously can't speak for everyone, but I know when I got involved with a married man we had absolutely no intention of getting involved. Or at least I didn't. I had known/dated him before he got married, and he was having problems with his brother (who had been a friend of mine). He was contacting old friends, letting them know what had happened, and he had difficulty reaching me because I had moved several times. He called my parents who relayed the message to me. I called him and we started talking, and he asked if we could meet for coffee as it was getting late that night.

I met him for coffee a couple of days later - nothing happened. About a week later, he called and asked if I would like to meet him for a drink. The rest was history.

 

[SlyFox]

Dumb questions

so I also ask, if I may, have you played as well? Just how do you find yourselves in situations that allow a fling to happen?

does this sound like a dumb question?

Max, I was always told that "The only dumb [or stupid] question is the one that is never asked." So, ask away. I'll bet you get a lot of very good answers - and maybe a "dumb" one or two.

SlyFox