Maybe my formatting is not so interesting?

[TheLovelyLickerish1]

Very funny, though you seem to have made a valid point.

You'd be surprised. I make a mean smothered squash, but that doesn't mean I eat it!

 

[TheLovelyLickerish1]

The rewrite!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=486648

This is the rewrite for the story I originally asked for feedback on. I think it's a much better read.