Maybe someone could help me with this...

[Carpe Diem 2000]

Get Rid

Just blow the guy out, totally!

You are brave enough to investigate your sexuality and the guy plays head games!

Move on, it takes courage and strength to do what you have set out to do, I'm sure you can use that strength to your advantage not his....

 

[1ebony]

It seems that we are coming to the end of this conversation with one mind, move on. The whole thing about the sub/dom area is that there has to be absolute trust first. Good sub/dom does not happen overnight and you really need to know you and what level of sub you are and them and what level of dom they I agree with others, look for normality, most guys I know would love to have a submissive and experimental partner, I know I do. But it sure as hell does not happen on the first actual date....

Be very careful and be safe.

x

 

[SirQittus]

At the risk of piling on, it sounds like the guy didn't have the courage to meet you any of the three times, but the third time he tried to make it your fault. Other than recommending you arrange a safecall in the future for realtime meet-ups, it sounds like you've got your head on straight about all this. If you think the fellow's motives were honest (i.e. out of his own fear, not deliberately toying with you) perhaps letting him know why you're commencing to ignore him would be reasonable for his own further education - he may be as inexperienced as you but not owning up to it.

 

[satin_coals]

It sucks to be burnt. There are alot of strange people on the net who will talk you up but never really have any intention of meeting you. It is quite cruel, really.

Funnily enough, a good friend (and business partner of my husband) was recently burnt hard by some freak who messed her around majorly. I don't know the specifics, but something about him being dishonest about everything. I don't know if they ever intended to meet ; I gathered not as it seemed more fantasy (you couldn't quote me though; she was rather secretive) than anything. It was her first *adventure* into BDSM so I figured she wanted to start off on the net before real life. What angered her was the fact that she thought submission was supposed to be about trust. She trusted the guy, and he shit all over that trust.

I'm trying to convince her at the moment to get out to some local, safe, BDSM parties, but it seems that little bit of trust she had for humanity went to hell along with the asshole that lied to her. *sigh*

I was too kind to say 'I told you so'. I don't trust people on the net like that. Not with my heart and my soul.

So I think you had every right to be wary. I sure as hell would have been! Just remember to please play safe! Never meet people on your own... even if he demands it. I think if he demands it then you run like fuck for the nearest exit. Perhaps think about investigating some real life BDSM parties in your area. They are a safe, fun way to explore things. I have been to many myself and have never felt frightened for my safety.

 

[TinyDancerGirl]

just wanted to say thanks again to you all. i got some good advice there and thats what i was looking for. bit sad i got shunned and told to 'justshagablokeetcetc' and to the person that said it could be redundant from my wants is 100% correct. i spoke to him again yesterday and explained why i wanted to discontinue the contact with him. he seemes really gutted maybe he'll have learnt a lesson out of this too....

cheer peeps much appreciated

x

 

[Chicklet]

i spoke to him again yesterday and explained why i wanted to discontinue the contact with him. he seemes really gutted maybe he'll have learnt a lesson out of this too....

*high five!*

 

[myinnerslut]

just wanted to say thanks again to you all. i got some good advice there and thats what i was looking for. bit sad i got shunned and told to 'justshagablokeetcetc' and to the person that said it could be redundant from my wants is 100% correct. i spoke to him again yesterday and explained why i wanted to discontinue the contact with him. he seemes really gutted maybe he'll have learnt a lesson out of this too....

cheer peeps much appreciated

x

you go girl! it takes a lot of courage tpo confront someone like that and tell them what it was they did wrong. from what i know of the situation, you did the right thing

 

[RawHumor]

just wanted to say thanks again to you all. i got some good advice there and thats what i was looking for. bit sad i got shunned and told to 'justshagablokeetcetc' and to the person that said it could be redundant from my wants is 100% correct. i spoke to him again yesterday and explained why i wanted to discontinue the contact with him. he seemes really gutted maybe he'll have learnt a lesson out of this too....

cheer peeps much appreciated

x

One thing that's important is to not let him manipulate you further. Be strong for your own wellbeing. Or continue to be strong, I should say.

 

[saw_man1]

It strikes me that, in offering yourself as a sub to someone who likes being a dom, you're stacking the odds in favour of the unpredictable.

My advice (advice? Gus, look at your record! and you offer advice? hah!!): find a nice boy, take him home and shag his brains out.

If this post is indicative of your "record" then the world would be better served if you kept your ignorant advice to yourself.

 

[satin_coals]

well done! you have done us proud

 

[VelvetDarkness]

he seemes really gutted maybe he'll have learnt a lesson out of this too....

cheer peeps much appreciated

x

So he fucking should feel completely gutted!

You are an honest and intelligent sub - a wet dream for all the guys roaming the net. You are going to have to kiss a few frogs.

Just hopefully not in RL.

You trusted your intuition on this one, you knew it was wrong even before you asked for advice here. Always trust that and you'll spot the assholes very quickly. Don't let this deter or dishearten you.

All the best x