Me and my wife are experimenting

[ADIDAS00]

I wish my wife was open to it, I'd love to see a guy or guys bareback her and watch her cum with them

I wish you the best of luck

 

[ADIDAS00]

Is this one friend you’re both going to play with together or are you aiming for individual sessions. What rules have you negotiated?

with the latter, in the absence of fetish (hot wives or control etc) the one who is less succesful, which is more likely the male because sex for women is easily obtainable and takes far less time and effort, will more likely feel aggrieved or jealous over time, especially in a more vanilla world If you’re planning on playing together then less risky

well that’s what I think anyway

Your opinion is greatly appreciated! Thank you

Our scenario is that we both have a friend. Somehow we both got a crush on another person at the same time. We still both love each other immensely. We’re very open and honest and we talk through everything.

We go out of town a lot and we’ve talked about us both going to hang out with our friend while we’re out of town. She goes to hang with her friend and I go hang with mine.

Maybe at first, it’s just an innocent date. No sex or anything like that. I think we’re just figuring out that when you get a connection with another person, we shouldn’t ignore that like we have in the past. We should embrace it and explore it together.

For some reason, I think we’ve found the secret to a happy marriage

 

[ADIDAS00]

I want to thank everyone for the great replies. I really appreciate it!!! Your thoughts on this topic were wonderful

 

[ADIDAS00]

I keep hearing that you need to be careful since the woman usually has more success finding a partner and the guy usually struggles. From what I’ve experienced, it’s not like that all. We’ll be out and I’ll have a whole group of women hitting on me and my wife is like, “get it babe!!!”. And likewise, when she gets hit on I’m her biggest fan. It’s like we both feed off of each other’s success and happiness. Then we have our alone time to discuss it and bond reviewing it all together. I’ve only seen the positive side of it all. Maybe we’re different ???

 

[ADIDAS00]

I wish my wife was open to it, I'd love to see a guy or guys bareback her and watch her cum with them

Do you have an open and honest dialogue about this? Does she know this is what you want?

 

[Britva415]

I’ve only seen the positive side of it all. Maybe we’re different ???

It's completely possible, and it does sound like the communication between you two is effective and positive. That's a prerequisite for success, so rah rah for ya. It's not a guarantee though.

Have the two of you read any books on polyamory or nonmonogamy? If not, it could go a long way toward helping you forecast any surprises you aren't already planning for, and toward knowing how to handle them when they happen.

By "surprises" I mean uncomfortable and unwelcome feelings which are (by all accounts) inevitable, and which not everyone who tries is able to handle and able to succeed at continuing the relationship or the extracurricular play.

I for one don't discourage you and your wife from trying it and seeing how it goes. There are plenty of resources for helping you to make real good and sure your relationship can survive it, before taking the risk.

 

[ADIDAS00]

It's completely possible, and it does sound like the communication between you two is effective and positive. That's a prerequisite for success, so rah rah for ya. It's not a guarantee though.

Have the two of you read any books on polyamory or nonmonogamy? If not, it could go a long way toward helping you forecast any surprises you aren't already planning for, and toward knowing how to handle them when they happen.

By "surprises" I mean uncomfortable and unwelcome feelings which are (by all accounts) inevitable, and which not everyone who tries is able to handle and able to succeed at continuing the relationship or the extracurricular play.

I for one don't discourage you and your wife from trying it and seeing how it goes. There are plenty of resources for helping you to make real good and sure your relationship can survive it, before taking the risk.

We’re new at this so we don’t know what polyamory is. All we know is that we love the freedom of being available. We love the rush of the other being able to flirt and possibly seduce another.

Again, thanks for the reply

 

[Britva415]

We’re new at this so we don’t know what polyamory is. All we know is that we love the freedom of being available. We love the rush of the other being able to flirt and possibly seduce another.

Again, thanks for the reply

Polyamory is just one way non-monogamy can be expressed. It usually involves multiple simultaneous long-term relationships, which doesn't sound like what you and your wife are interested in, and wasn't what I was interested in when I investigated this, myself.

I did ask my wife for, and got her agreement about, extramarital sex, and the research I did on the subject was great preparation for talking about it and for acting on it. The available material has a very strong tendency to be written by and for full-bore polyamorous people, but the experience and advice they share is relevant for other non-monogamous people who aren't going all the way to multiple committed long-term relationship partners.

You're describing a feeling the polyams call "compersion." Basically the opposite of jealousy - it's happiness for one's partner when they have a good time with someone else. They had to invent a word for it because there wasn't one. The fact that you both already have it bodes very well. It doesn't rule out jealousy, though: Those two opposite feelings can still both happen when it gets real.

 

[PapaRomantic]

So after all this advice you've been given and seem to be saying none of it is necessary for you and your wife....what's the actual purpose of this thread?

 

[ADIDAS00]

So after all this advice you've been given and seem to be saying none of it is necessary for you and your wife....what's the actual purpose of this thread?

I love the advice. It’s great. I read it and use it to shoot holes in our narrative that me and my wife have going. I’m not saying it’s not relevant. I’m just trying to apply it to me and my wife’s relationship and some of it doesn’t apply. Nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion

 

[ADIDAS00]

Polyamory is just one way non-monogamy can be expressed. It usually involves multiple simultaneous long-term relationships, which doesn't sound like what you and your wife are interested in, and wasn't what I was interested in when I investigated this, myself.

I did ask my wife for, and got her agreement about, extramarital sex, and the research I did on the subject was great preparation for talking about it and for acting on it. The available material has a very strong tendency to be written by and for full-bore polyamorous people, but the experience and advice they share is relevant for other non-monogamous people who aren't going all the way to multiple committed long-term relationship partners.

You're describing a feeling the polyams call "compersion." Basically the opposite of jealousy - it's happiness for one's partner when they have a good time with someone else. They had to invent a word for it because there wasn't one. The fact that you both already have it bodes very well. It doesn't rule out jealousy, though: Those two opposite feelings can still both happen when it gets real.

I definitely think “comparison” describes us well. I’ve never heard of that term but it seems very relevant. It’s like when we should be jealous, we’re the opposite.
I’m trying to figure all of this out and that’s the best term I’ve heard to describe it yet

 

[PapaRomantic]

I definitely think “comparison” describes us well. I’ve never heard of that term but it seems very relevant. It’s like when we should be jealous, we’re the opposite.
I’m trying to figure all of this out and that’s the best term I’ve heard to describe it yet

Compersion, not comparison.

 

[ADIDAS00]

Compersion, not comparison.

Yes, what you said, lol

 

[ADIDAS00]

I will say that if we were just starting to date, I don’t think I’d feel this way. I’d feel more jealous. But after 20+ years being with someone in a great relationship, the jealous feelings just aren’t there. We’re both super secure in our marriage. None of us want to start over or leave what we have together. We’re just enjoying the excitement of exploring something new together

 

[Cardinal]

So me and my wife are going through a renaissance. We’re asking “why not” instead of “why”. We’re venturing out and dipping our toes in the water of what it means to go outside of our marriage. We both have a “friend” that we talk to. We’re still in the flirting stage. We haven’t taken the plunge into actually doing anything physical but the more we push the envelope the more we feel closer and the more we have sex(literally daily sex). It’s been great for us so far. I’m still looking for the downside. Is there a downside?

Sounds hot keep it going

 

[ADIDAS00]

Sounds hot keep it going

Thank you!! We will

 

[IARainman]

I didn’t read every response thoroughly, but in what I saw, there was only mention of potential downsides to the two of you?

What about to these other people? Are they aware that you’re using their interest in them to fuel your fires? Not suggesting you’re using their emotions inappropriately, just suggesting you may want to be aware of the potential impacts on the lives of others. Not judging, I think it’s great what you’re accomplishing together, just suggesting you keep their feelings in consideration.

 

[cowboyup6977]

I didn’t read every response thoroughly, but in what I saw, there was only mention of potential downsides to the two of you?

What about to these other people? Are they aware that you’re using their interest in them to fuel your fires? Not suggesting you’re using their emotions inappropriately, just suggesting you may want to be aware of the potential impacts on the lives of others. Not judging, I think it’s great what you’re accomplishing together, just suggesting you keep their feelings in consideration.

That’s why we only play together
No drama

 

[ADIDAS00]

I didn’t read every response thoroughly, but in what I saw, there was only mention of potential downsides to the two of you?

What about to these other people? Are they aware that you’re using their interest in them to fuel your fires? Not suggesting you’re using their emotions inappropriately, just suggesting you may want to be aware of the potential impacts on the lives of others. Not judging, I think it’s great what you’re accomplishing together, just suggesting you keep their feelings in consideration.

Thanks for the message! I appreciate it. Great thoughts!!

Yes, anyone we talk to we make well aware of what’s going on. We don’t hide anything from them. They know exactly what they’re getting into from the start. We don’t want to mislead them at all.

 

[IARainman]

Thanks for the message! I appreciate it. Great thoughts!!

Yes, anyone we talk to we make well aware of what’s going on. We don’t hide anything from them. They know exactly what they’re getting into from the start. We don’t want to mislead them at all.

In that case I’d love to chat with your wife, I bet you get a lot of that these days, I know you weren’t asking for more, just know I’m always open to the notion

 

[Buttermillk]

So me and my wife are going through a renaissance. We’re asking “why not” instead of “why”. We’re venturing out and dipping our toes in the water of what it means to go outside of our marriage. We both have a “friend” that we talk to. We’re still in the flirting stage. We haven’t taken the plunge into actually doing anything physical but the more we push the envelope the more we feel closer and the more we have sex(literally daily sex). It’s been great for us so far. I’m still looking for the downside. Is there a downside?

Like others have said there can always be downsides sadly. Each couple will find their happy place and their limits when it comes to adventures like this and usually that can only be done with trial and error. I wish you all the best of luck and fun and amazing times!

 

[ADIDAS00]

I wonder if in some unhappy marriages, the couple feels trapped or stuck….. There’s nothing exciting anymore. All the fire is gone and they’re two distant people. Everyone around them probably thinks they look like the happy couple even though their lost.

They feel like they’ve done all the right things, they’ve tried to make their marriage look how they were told it’s supposed to look. They’ve bought the house, the cars, etc…They’ve played the part of the proper couple. But now it’s stale and unsatisfying. Maybe they’ve tried to control everything too much in life and in their relationship and they’ve lost site of the adventure of it all….and the experience of it.

Maybe they’ve kind of strangled the life out of life…and there marriage?

 

[tnh_06]

I think in most cases it’s a hot wife and normal guy thing. You clearly are hot as hot as she is, so that won’t be an issue. The issue comes when one of the other people decide one of you are their soul mate because they had the most mind blowing sex they have ever had. It stops being a fun fling for them and they aggressively pursue. How do you both react? How do you turn it off?

 

[robbiewillsucku]

To be a good cuckold husband and really enjoy it - you must love her and you must focus on pleasing her anyway you can that includes her suck and fuck any one - male or female 1on1 or 3way. You should willing to suck cocks for her and lick her pussy clean again anything that will make her wet and help her cum and make her happy be willing to do it.

 

[zcraft5]

This.

That first hurdle is slaying the jealousy monster. If you can BOTH get past that, and it will be an issue whether you think so or not, you'll have to overcome that.

Then exactly as Papa says, your wife is going to get a lot more sex than you, especially if she is attractive. In our case that is what turns my husband on. He knows he can cum twice at best, and that we ladies can just keep going.


That can make for uncomfortable dynamics at sex clubs where no single guys are allowed, but if you find a group with the right mix and good people, it can be fucking amazing.


Good luck and do go carefully.

your so right with the jealousy its an issue at times ...i like t have 3 orgasms while they can help me my husband cant and its tricky as you said