Mind Games

[psiberzerker]

As I've posted before, the mind is the game for me. Al the meat piston action is simply a way into the mind.
The cutting off of sexual favours is an old trick, and a crude one. It's double edged, for you have to wait with them, and can backfire if you take it too far.
I'd rather dominate with words. The ears are the way to someone's mind, their emotions, and thoughts, their fears, and fetishes. The eyes attract the mind, but are usually turned aside to listen.
That's why I never cover a playmate's ears. I'll blinfold, and gag them, but they have to hear me. I also don't resort to crude degradation, just as Lechter would never suck his teeth to scare someone. It looses it's flavour when you just call her bitch, and tell her she is yours. Much better to get in there, walk around for a while, take her body for a spin while you're in there.
Watch the eyes. I'll assume that you talk to your fuck buddies before diving into bed with them. Take the occasional break from advertizing yourselves, and thinking of the next thing to say while she's talking to just watch her talk. What she says, how she says it, and what her eyes do will tell you more than you need to know about how to manipulate her.
This, to me, is the essence of Domination. Anyone can take a personality cripples little sub boy, or girl, tie them up, and make them feel lesser. They already do for christ sake. I like the kickers, and screamers, though. When you can take a nominal dominant, sit them down, and shut them up, then you are a dominant. Giving the mopey kids what they want doesn't impress me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

As I've posted before, the mind is the game for me. Al the meat piston action is simply a way into the mind.
The cutting off of sexual favours is an old trick, and a crude one. It's double edged, for you have to wait with them, and can backfire if you take it too far.
I'd rather dominate with words. The ears are the way to someone's mind, their emotions, and thoughts, their fears, and fetishes. The eyes attract the mind, but are usually turned aside to listen.
That's why I never cover a playmate's ears. I'll blinfold, and gag them, but they have to hear me. I also don't resort to crude degradation, just as Lechter would never suck his teeth to scare someone. It looses it's flavour when you just call her bitch, and tell her she is yours. Much better to get in there, walk around for a while, take her body for a spin while you're in there.
Watch the eyes. I'll assume that you talk to your fuck buddies before diving into bed with them. Take the occasional break from advertizing yourselves, and thinking of the next thing to say while she's talking to just watch her talk. What she says, how she says it, and what her eyes do will tell you more than you need to know about how to manipulate her.
This, to me, is the essence of Domination. Anyone can take a personality cripples little sub boy, or girl, tie them up, and make them feel lesser. They already do for christ sake. I like the kickers, and screamers, though. When you can take a nominal dominant, sit them down, and shut them up, then you are a dominant. Giving the mopey kids what they want doesn't impress me.

*Sits at your feet*

Teach me the ways ov psykick kung-fu, master!

 

[ethereal~minx]

...Anyone have any opinions on how a Dominant can also play the mind games that are not the mind fucks..and lose? If they lose the relationship should they take the responsibilty for the loss in honesty or blame the SO?

Shadowsdream~ in my non-relationship (not sure what He called it) w/ a Dom, the 9-10mos I was in communication with Him was to me a 'mind-game'.... I don't know if it was intended on His part but that is what kept me believing I was doing all of this because He was the "wise Olive Tree" that knew what He was doing- not calling, calling & being considerably affectionate, the deprivation of His affection eventually became a pattern of agony/ecstasy that I could no longer endure.. .the pain was not balanced with the joy so I changed my perception of what we had & told Him so, direct and honest..... I will never really really know if He knew what He was doing by allowing the depth of pain I felt.. but I did work through it all to be a better person...... I grew up & when I expressed such, He was not there.
I think manipulation can cause a Dom to lose a relationship but if the Dom really 'knew' the sub, or if the relationship was that strong/mutual, this would not come up because the Dom would know the breaking point... I would hope...

a humble Dom would take the responsibility for the loss in honesty~~ my personal opinion

 

[psiberzerker]

Get up.

If that was someone sitting at my feet, I'm sorry, but I didn't bother catching your name. That's a good place to get kicked.
Perhapse I didn't make myself fully clear, I DON"T WANT A SUBMISSIVE. Have some fucking dignity, and take me on as an equal, or go find someone to treat you like you want to be treated. If you're going to present yourself with a collar already around your neck, and a bow in your hair then there's nothing I can teach you.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Get up.

If that was someone sitting at my feet, I'm sorry, but I didn't bother catching your name. That's a good place to get kicked.
Perhapse I didn't make myself fully clear, I DON"T WANT A SUBMISSIVE. Have some fucking dignity, and take me on as an equal, or go find someone to treat you like you want to be treated. If you're going to present yourself with a collar already around your neck, and a bow in your hair then there's nothing I can teach you.

eek, this must be my first lesson.

 

[psiberzerker]

"Must be my first lesson"

It's the last you'll get from me untill you grow some Gonads rather than writing about them.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: "Must be my first lesson"

It's the last you'll get from me untill you grow some Gonads rather than writing about them.

This must be one of those tests where the master makes the humble apprentice wait for months outside the entrance to his cave. But I shall not quit till I've learnt the secrets ov psikick kung-fu!

 

[psiberzerker]

Grow up.

And leave me alone untill you do. This isn't a test, this is a dismissal.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Grow up.

And leave me alone untill you do. This isn't a test, this is a dismissal.

I think the writerdom just got his wish.....

 

[Shadowsdream]

Shadowsdream~ in my non-relationship (not sure what He called it) w/ a Dom, the 9-10mos I was in communication with Him was to me a 'mind-game'.... I don't know if it was intended on His part but that is what kept me believing I was doing all of this because He was the "wise Olive Tree" that knew what He was doing- not calling, calling & being considerably affectionate, the deprivation of His affection eventually became a pattern of agony/ecstasy that I could no longer endure.. .the pain was not balanced with the joy so I changed my perception of what we had & told Him so, direct and honest..... I will never really really know if He knew what He was doing by allowing the depth of pain I felt.. but I did work through it all to be a better person...... I grew up & when I expressed such, He was not there.
I think manipulation can cause a Dom to lose a relationship but if the Dom really 'knew' the sub, or if the relationship was that strong/mutual, this would not come up because the Dom would know the breaking point... I would hope...

a humble Dom would take the responsibility for the loss in honesty~~ my personal opinion

~responsibility~
Giving and removing affection in a relationship as though it were a yoyo used to control and bind holds little honesty and is generally a manuever used to keep one foot out the door. This type of behaviour precludes getting to know the sub in any depth because it is a Domination built around lessening the self value of the submissive. A humble Dom/me would be clear in conversation throughout the relationship about the reasons for such Domination if They felt there was a valid result of growth from it. In My opinion.

 

[psiberzerker]

Back to the subject at hand...

With holding sexual favours to dominate is a vanilla technique at best. It's one of those "as seen on TV" scenes newbies cut their teeth on. If it's good enough for Rachel on "Freinds", then they can probably pull it off. I guess technically it's sexual domination, and I apreciate the irony, but it's been done to death, and tends to piss off the subs.
I don't like pissed off subs. It's the kind of irony I don't enjoy, and it tends to be detrimental to this whole sensual hedonist thing. I'm not into it because it's fun, but there's no reason to be an asshole about it. Besides, if you must have a collared and bound person, you really don't want a surly one.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Back to the subject at hand...

With holding sexual favours to dominate is a vanilla technique at best. It's one of those "as seen on TV" scenes newbies cut their teeth on. If it's good enough for Rachel on "Freinds", then they can probably pull it off. I guess technically it's sexual domination, and I apreciate the irony, but it's been done to death, and tends to piss off the subs.
I don't like pissed off subs. It's the kind of irony I don't enjoy, and it tends to be detrimental to this whole sensual hedonist thing. I'm not into it because it's fun, but there's no reason to be an asshole about it. Besides, if you must have a collared and bound person, you really don't want a surly one.

I do not believe it is not domination at all, but passive-aggression.

Since in the vanilla world the male is normally the aggressor, then a woman may use a headache or cramps or sickness or any excuse to avoid sexual contact, in response to some real or imagined offense. She will not be active and just say no, but will use a passive excuse.

 

[Ebonyfire]

This type of behaviour precludes getting to know the sub in any depth because it is a Domination built around lessening the self value of the submissive.

I agree. There is no room for this type of manipulation in a functioning D/s relationship.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: Grow up.

I think the writerdom just got his wish.....

You honor me with your obsession. But sorry, I don't want you as my bitch. The bamboo crop is doing well. For the right price, I would whip you with 20' cane. A safe word would be extra.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: Re: Grow up.

You honor me with your obsession. But sorry, I don't want you as my bitch. The bamboo crop is doing well. For the right price, I would whip you with 20' cane. A safe word would be extra.

The 20' cane would probably hurt but if you REALLY want to punish me for making you look like a doofus, tie me up and recite some of your "poetry", preferably in a very serious voice....

 

[Netzach]

The only point of chastity, to me, is to draw over the naughty bits in big yellow highlighter. Not to piss off the bottom. That's when it gets boring. More just to make a constant point that the sexual undercurrent is there.

For the more subtle, a red ribbon tied 'round the dick as a reminder would suffice, I imagine.

I guess I'm a hedonist's hedonist. Give me a tender, affectionate girly girl or girly boy any day as long as I can have my powerlifting butch lawyerdoctor under my right foot, too.

Not everyone who rolls over naturally is a wounded wuss, and not everyone who puts up a fight is worth fighting for.

 

[psiberzerker]

Well put.

...Not everyone who rolls over naturally is a wounded wuss, and not everyone who puts up a fight is worth fighting for."

I hear ya, I just won't neccisarilly want to fuck them.