My ancestor is scarier than your ancestor.

[shereads]

I'm Tiny Tim's illegitimate son.

---dr.M.

"And verily, they shall smite the sons of the tiny! Whoa under them who sin before God in falsetto voice! For the prophet says, "Thou art a girlie-man; get thee behind me - No, not like that!"

 

[raphy]

BTW, in my opinion, the person who said that us Brits are sexually repressed wasn't representing the majority, or speaking for most of us. I run around the streets naked, when the mood takes me.

"No sex please, we're British", anyone?

Haha.. Seriously, I think we're emotionally repressed, not sexually repressed.

 

[shereads]

My family have done a fair bit of genealogy in their days, and I can't say much about any of my ancestors, but I do share a strand with one scary camper. According to my grandmother's research, her very distant cousin is a russian fellow named Yosef Vissarionvich Djvugashvili.

A.k.a Stalin.

/Ice

So that's why you're always going on about "cleansing" the forum.

For what it's worth, at least he did you kids a favor when he changed the family name. Imagine if your first childhood assignment had been learning to spell "Icingsugar Djvugashvili."

 

[shereads]

"No sex please, we're British", anyone?

Haha.. Seriously, I think we're emotionally repressed, not sexually repressed.

No, you said before that you're in control of your emotions, not repressing them.



The threads come full circle.

Beating gauche to the punch: There is no chicken; there is no egg.




There is, however, plenty of hellfire waiting and I have an assignment to complete by noon. Buh-bye, pornsters.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think it's obvious that the egg came before the chicken. There were slimy amphibian creatures laying eggs way before the first hen-like creature was hatched.

 

[Icingsugar]

I think it's obvious that the egg came before the chicken. There were slimy amphibian creatures laying eggs way before the first hen-like creature was hatched.

Obvious Lit reply: Unless the egg is over 18 years old, it's not supposed to cum.

/Ice

 

[shereads]

WIERD SCIENCE

Is religious fundamentalism always the enemy of both sex and science?

As Creationism teaching nudges its way into U.S. public schools alongside 'evolution theory,' state by state and classroom by classroom, it looks as if we haven't grown too far away from our Puritan roots - or the Puritans from their European forebears.

For Sub Joe, I was looking for a link about Increase Mather's time in England during the Restoration. (He loved your boiled meats, by the way.) Instead, I found out about his "comet sermons" and about the struggle to keep scientific explanations for natural phenomena out of the schools - Not just in New England under the Puritans but in Holland, England, and Spain, and under Protestant and Catholic rule alike.

The idea that God can't withstand the scrutiny of science seems to trouble a lot of fundamentalists; as an agnostic, I don't see a conflict between evolution and the idea of a conscious force behind creation. Neither do I think God would have made sex so much fun if he didn't want us to enjoy it; he could have built us so our parts don't operate unless the woman is ovulating, right?

But for those whose beliefs hinge on a strict interpretation of scription, and particularly those whose power and status is founded on their superior understanding of God's will, sex for reasons other than procreation is a sin and science always seems to be the enemy. "An illusion," my fundatmentalist cousin once said, when confronted with a museum display of eohippus skeletons; "planted by God to test your faith."

Long before the Scopes Monkey Trial in the U.S., teachers and students were being persecuted for delving too deeply into scientific explanations for comets. Apparently, comets were God's heavy armaments in the war to keep us aware of His wrath, and astronomy was threatening to diffuse the big guns.

-------------

http://abob.libs.uga.edu/bobk/whited02.html

"Even to the end of the seventeenth century the oath generally required of professors of astronomy over a large part of Europe prevented their teaching that comets are heavenly bodies obedient to law. Efforts just as earnest were made to fasten into students' minds the theological theory...Nor was this attempt to hold back university teaching to the old view of comets confined to Protestants. The Roman Church was, if possible, more strenuous in the same effort."

 

[NoJo]

Cleansing is much nicer than cleaning, if you get my meansing.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Obvious Lit reply: Unless the egg is over 18 years old, it's not supposed to cum.

/Ice

Actually it shouldn't come at all, that would be bestiality, and would automatically be rejected by Laurel.

 

[Black Tulip]

She,

I think I can wave to you from the other side of the spectrum.

We have a family tree and the founder was a clergyman who fled from the Inquisition to the Lowlands, where he changed his name.
He was a protestant, but he was such a liberal, there exist cartoons of him on the chansel while the devil is whispering in his ear.

See, I can't help it. It's in the genes.

 

[Guest]

I have no idea who my ancestors are. My cousin is a geneology nut and said that one of our great-great (and on and on...) grandmothers or grandfathers came to America on the Mayflower (course, there is probably alot of people that could lay that claim).

CM

 

[oggbashan]

Actually it shouldn't come at all, that would be bestiality, and would automatically be rejected by Laurel.

Not necessarily. I got away with 'The Giant Squid' and I did have an explicit warning in the Submission Notes.

But as Tatelou said I'd "made tentacle porn respectable".

Og

 

[oggbashan]

I'm scarier than your ancestor.

As Og, King of Bashan, a remnant of the giant Rephaim, I worried the Israelites.

I'd ridden on the roof of The Ark while Noah and the animals were inside. I got blamed for absence of some of the species only known by fossil records - I had to eat something.

My ancestors in my current incarnation have written records back to 1326. Then there is a gap but some of my ancestors took on Julius Caesar's legions in what is now Belgium in 55BC. Even he admits that we gave them a bloody nose and the great man himself had to come to sort us out. If we could worry Julius I see no problem in worrying GWB or Teflon Tony.

Og

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Sir Francis Drake

No big deal for some...woo hoo he could really navigate...but if you're of Spanish descent, he's El Draque (the dragon).

~lucky

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmm

BTW, in my opinion, the person who said that us Brits are sexually repressed wasn't representing the majority, or speaking for most of us. I run around the streets naked, when the mood takes me.



Lou

Umm really, which street is it you live in again, I seem to have forgotten

I once ran naked in a caravan park just down the coast from you, Bognor, back in about 1972 I think that would have been. Streaking was popular back then, and we were drunk.

Oh and I've been skinny dipping in the Thames locally on many a wild evening of fun and games.

 

[shereads]

See, I can't help it. It's in the genes.

Sorry, you still get the Eternal Burnings. Original sin, etc.

 

[pop_54]

Oh dear did it again

Tut, tut, forgot the thread subject again, it's that horny looking bird from Bouremouth distracting me all the time.

My (real) Surname can be traced back to a Saxon settlement, no longer in existence as the 'same named' village unfortunately, or we'd still be famous. So dad's mob probably came about from a Saxon chief of some sort.

Mum's crew originated in Waterford Ireland, and well the paddy's are all that for records, so we can't trace them too far back unfortunately. We have tried.

Wife's tribe came down from London, and are related to a very famous family of shop owners, London based.

The cat was born in the hay store of a local stable, so we aren't too sure of his blood line, we have however just managed to convince him he's not really a horse.

pops

 

[shereads]

Re: I'm scarier than your ancestor.

I'd ridden on the roof of The Ark while Noah and the animals were inside. I got blamed for absence of some of the species only known by fossil records - I had to eat something.

Eohippus: were they tough? Stringy?

My ancestors in my current incarnation have written records back to 1326. Then there is a gap but some of my ancestors took on Julius Caesar's legions in what is now Belgium in 55BC.

Belgium: did they seem French to you, too?

 

[shereads]

I have no idea who my ancestors are. My cousin is a geneology nut

It's sometimes best not to know. What if the entire family are nuts, like your cousin?



From "A Father's Resolutions" by Cotton Mather

"I will then assign them such books to read as I may judge most agreeable and profitable...but keep a strict eye upon them, that they don't stumble on the Devil's library, and poison themselves with foolish romances, or novels, or plays, or songs, or jests that are not convenient."







Uncle Cotton would be so proud.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

But as Tatelou said I'd "made tentacle porn respectable".

That's an oxymoron.

 

[Guest]

That's an oxymoron.

Very true, but I bet my ancestors could beat your ancestors in a pillow fight.

Lou

 

[Svenskaflicka]

But we'd kick your ass in a snowball fight!

 

[Guest]

Mine would make yours sting in a bitch slap.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I would never slap a bitch, I like animals.

 

[Guest]

Ok, what about a wet fish bout?