My father had a stroke..

[~Dacendaran~]

Today my dad had his eyes open the most we've seen and sitting up abit more, that much the doctors tried to see if he could swallow, but to no avail and had to clean his mouth as the reflex didn't work and it was possible it would go into his lungs. I actually find seeing him like his worse than watching him in a coma state. I think it's just gonna get harder from this point now.

 

[bobsgirl]

Thanks everyone , I doing not too bad tho, my friends and family have been fantastic

Yesterday we seen the consultant, they gave my father a scan that morning first thing. The results were not good. My dad has major swelling from the stroke and parts of his brain have shut down, he is also suffering from MRSA something or another in his blood and has amonia. Best case is if they hooked a direct line into him via his neck and pumped him full of drugs, he may survive but would end up in a vegetable state and the mrsa would attack the line as it's plastic and the infection would get worse.

So after we discussed all possibilites and concerns with the consultant. We decided not to carry on with any treatment whatsoever and let my dad have a peaceful and respectful death, rather than subject him or rather what is left to anymore pain or stess.

What a compassionate, difficult decison you and your family made. I'm so sorry, MK. I hope he remains comfortable and passes in serenity and peace. My sympathies.

 

[Phaedre]

I am very sorry to read this and you have my utmost sympathy. I went through something similar with my Dad. Hang in there.

 

[~Dacendaran~]

What a compassionate, difficult decison you and your family made. I'm so sorry, MK. I hope he remains comfortable and passes in serenity and peace. My sympathies.

Sadly that actual decison was left to me, neither my mom or my uncle could make it. But there really wasn't any other option, they just needed us to tell them to stop.

 

[wally2450]

What a compassionate, difficult decison you and your family made. I'm so sorry, MK. I hope he remains comfortable and passes in serenity and peace. My sympathies.

Our family made a similar decision some years ago with grampa. He had been diagnosed with incurable leukemia then after being discharged, fell at home hitting his head and breaking a blood vessel in his brain. Two days later, as pressure was building and he had gone into a coma, the doctor called us in. Said they could operate to repair the vessel, risky in itself but what would we be bringing him back to? Only to die from the leukemia and suffer. We didn't intervene and he died two days later. A tough decision but the best for him.

 

[~Dacendaran~]

Our family made a similar decision some years ago with grampa. He had been diagnosed with incurable leukemia then after being discharged, fell at home hitting his head and breaking a blood vessel in his brain. Two days later, as pressure was building and he had gone into a coma, the doctor called us in. Said they could operate to repair the vessel, risky in itself but what would we be bringing him back to? Only to die from the leukemia and suffer. We didn't intervene and he died two days later. A tough decision but the best for him.

Exactly which has made the decison moderately tolerable for me, my dads mind has gone and he himself if there was a slight chance they could have done anything, would never want that.

 

[~Dacendaran~]

I am very sorry to read this and you have my utmost sympathy. I went through something similar with my Dad. Hang in there.

Thank you and sorry you've went through something like this with yours i honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone

 

[Denae]

I hope for peace for you. I believe with all of my heart that you chose the right thing to do. It's not easy.

My mother and I went through a similar situation when my father had a brain hemorrhage and slipped into a coma. The neurologist told us that should he come out of it, he would be in a vegetative state. What made it "easier" for us was knowing dad's wishes long before this ever happened. We knew that he didn't want any life-saving heroic actions done for him and we were able to say no to life support.

It does not make it any easier to watch someone you love pass away. The only comfort we could find was knowing we honored his wishes, allowing him to die with dignity, and knowing that in his last hours we were by his side and he would leave this life surrounded with love. I hope that when I die and my spirit leaves my body that I am surrounded by love.

I hope you are finding support and love within your family and circle of friends to help you through this time.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

I came across this quite by accident. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Prayers for you and yours.

 

[FurryFury]

Exactly which has made the decison moderately tolerable for me, my dads mind has gone and he himself if there was a slight chance they could have done anything, would never want that.

I understand how hard this is.

*HUG*

You have my empathy.

Fury

 

[~Dacendaran~]

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate the thoughts and prayers


Just hoping this now comes to a swift end... for my dads sake and my moms, But I think it's going to get worse before it gets better.

 

[Leah57]

continued prayers and cyber-hugs to you and your family.

 

[veryblueeyes]

MK, I am sending my thoughts to you and your family. I just saw this tonight, as I just now visited the forum. Stay strong, hon.

 

[naamplao]

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate the thoughts and prayers

Just hoping this now comes to a swift end... for my dads sake and my moms, But I think it's going to get worse before it gets better.

As with others, my thoughts are with you.

I know how you must be feeling. I had a father die from Alzheimer's disease. He went in hospital to have a knee transplant and the drugs accelerated his memory loss condition to a delusional shell of a man. It took him one year to pass away and it was very difficult to watch a once strong man waste away in body and mind to nothing. It was a blessing when the final day arrived.

Be strong...tell him you love him. Give support to your mother and get some from your friends yourself.

 

[carrie-on]

First off MK I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. One of the hardest things in the world is to see your parent lying there helpless. I've been there,I know. My mom had a stroke back in '96.
I work in Home Health and Hospice and I see so many folks who have no one but us nurses and aides who come in to see to their needs. Being there for Your Mom is one of the best things that,you,as a son, can do for her. Also letting your Dad know that you are there. He may seem as if he is out of it,but I have been very surprised in the past by folks telling me that though they couldn't answer,they were much more aware of their surroundings than others thought.
Best wishes to you and your family!

 

[Phaedre]

Just hoping this now comes to a swift end... for my dads sake and my moms, But I think it's going to get worse before it gets better.

I'm very sorry to say that you are quite likely correct in that assumption.

Just one thing, if it gets to the point that it could be 'at any moment' and the nurses tell you to leave so they can make your father comfortable... don't. I did and when I got back he had gone, despite us taking turns to sit with him continuously for 3 weeks so that he wasn't alone at the end...

 

[Yes_YEs_YES]

{{{{{{{{{ MK }}}}}}}}} on honey...you know where to find me...a ton of gently hugs and kisses to you...again...you know where to find me

 

[Sarojaede]

MK--I'm sorry that I'm just finding this thread. My heartfelt prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that you all find peace. As other have said, as you are being strong for your family, please take some time to lean on someone and draw strength from someone else as well.

 

[~Dacendaran~]

This Morning...

This morning at 1.30am my father passed away, It was a peaceful death without any struggle or pain according to the nurses. We got the phonecall just after I had went to bed. We then had to go up to the hospital and get any of his effects and also the death forms to get the certificate and view him.

I have to say seeing him laying there lifeless this morning, literally made me sick and eve ntho we knew this day was going to happen...still dosen't prepare you for when it does happen... It finally came crashing to me, that we have lost him and will never get him back... Besides that sunday he collasped this has to be the worst day in my life. I've lost one of the two people in the whole world who loved me no matter what I did or done....

Over the past week, I've wondered if I was cold hearted as unlike everyone else I've not cried much, but ever since the phonecall and all throughout today, I've just been breaking down every so often. That with no sleep since wednesday morning due to hospital and not getting home till near 6am, then having organise the funeral shortly after that at 7am to get the service and everything set for saturday...

I'm cried out, knackered, cold and wondering whats really the point in it all....

 

[poppy1963]

Sending hugs to you MK, and kisses, and roses...I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm so sorry. There are few things in life as difficult to deal with as the loss of a parent. You have my empathy. To lose someone who at times seemed to be a God like figure, part of the foundation and framework for you life is so very hard.

*HUGS and HUGS*

Fury

 

[wally2450]

I am sorry for the loss of your father. I wish you strength for you and yours to get through this difficult time.

 

[Noor]

my condolences MK.

You just cry when it is safe to cry.

 

[Amora]

Oh MK, I am so sorry. I'm fairly new here and hardly know you but wanted to send you my deepest condolences.

Amora

 

[thecharlieman]

Condolences to you.


I feel your pain. Truly.

My Mom passed a few years ago, and I'm still dealing with that.

Do talk about your feelings to your friends and family, I am sure they are feeling it too.

If you have the funds, a psyc that specializes in grief will help immensely.


Don't be afraid to ask for help dealing with this.

May you never forget all that was good in your Father.