My first story chaper regected and no editors replying?

[MetaBob]

I won't comment on anything else (other than to say I don't see rejection issues there either), because you didn't ask for anyone to rewrite your voice into theirs.

Ah, but the OP did ask for a VE and for these four paragraphs, that's what s/he got. I also don't think I changed the voice, just showed ways the text could be punched up and tightened while preserving as much of it as possible. It's a thing editors do.

 

[KeithD]

Ah, but the OP did ask for a VE and for these four paragraphs, that's what s/he got. I also don't think I changed the voice, just showed ways the text could be punched up and tightened while preserving as much of it as possible. It's a thing editors do.

I don't see a reason to prolong this except to point out that the OP does NOT ask for the editing you provided. The only OP question is about capitalization.

I recently had the first chapter of a story rejected for a capitalisation issue. I thought I had fixed the issue but it got rejected for the second time the day after?.

Since then I have emailed 3 editors in the hope they could point out what I am doing wrong but still awaiting any reply.

 

[MetaBob]

Since then I have emailed 3 editors in the hope they could point out what I am doing wrong but still awaiting any reply.

I don't see a reason to prolong this except to point out that the OP does NOT ask for the editing you provided.

Sure seems like a request for an editor to me.

 

[beta_sissy]

Thank you

WOW, thank you for the very detailed reply. I have read through your suggestions and will take them into account when I edit my story and hopefully write more chapters.

I really appreciate the time you took to read over and offer pointers.

First, your title for this post is highly off-putting with two misspellings, making you seem like a writer who needs a lot more help than he's letting on. Overall your sample isn't bad, but is a bit wordy for my taste (especially adverbs and adjectives), is sometimes unclear about what's being referenced, unnecessarily repeats words, and sometimes scrambles tense. I don't think using British English should be a problem except for putting punctuation within quotes, which isn't an issue in these paragraphs; I prefer the British style even though I'm American, but this site advises the American style of putting punctuation *inside* the quotes even when the cited passage doesn't include that punctuation.

The only capitalization issues that might remain are of "Dominatrix", "Femdom", "God-like" (-> "godlike"), and "Gods". I left them as-is but you might want to lower them.

I offer many specific, detailed suggestions for change; you're welcome to use as many or as few as you like. A revised version of the text follows, then the more detailed breakdown. Note that you actually excerpted four paragraphs rather than three -- I omit the 4th, in which only one word needs changing. See the end of this message for that detail:

Chapter 1 ( The evolution of a sissy )

It's funny how life can change and make you wonder "how did that happen?" For instance, take this sissy named Kelly. In his mid-thirties and to the outside world just a typical man going to work each day, football matches, going out drinking with friends and attempting to date women even if failing 99% of the time. But like many, he has a secret: when he gets horny he will often put on the pair of used panties he bought from an online Dominatrix and within seconds of sliding the pink satin up his hairy legs, be rock hard and making a small tent in those panties.

So begins the regular ritual like so many other Friday nights before. Endless hours scrolling through Femdom and sissy porn while beating on his nub and edging his four inches 'til the inevitable happens and a teaspoon of watery cum sprays over his belly. Like a typical sissy, when the sexual pleasure is sated and the guilt about what he has done hits, he vanishes, only to creep back when his perverted sexual drug lust needs to be satisfied again.

Like so many other sexually repressed and frustrated beta sissies he starts looking at interracial porn, at first just enjoying hetero scenes of two people having sex and not thinking past the scene itself. But not long after, his sissy beta mind starts craving not to be the well-hung black stallion pleasuring hot slutty women like wild sex-starved animals, no, he wants to be like the girls; he wants those dark powerful meat rods and the heavy muscle-bound weight of the superior God-like human specimens behind each one to dominate his slim, smooth, weedy body and make him into a real sissy girl. Being 100% straight he shrugs off those conflicting thoughts and puts it down to simple lust and being caught up in the moment of sexual ecstasy. After all, dressing up in girl clothes and edging his noodle knob is just casual kinky fun, right?

Now, details:



"how did that happen" should be quoted and terminated by a question mark. Or replaced with "why" (not quoted). I would change "It is" to "It's" and drop "often" and "unexpectedly".

-> It's funny how life can change and make you wonder "how did that happen?"



-> attempting to date women, even if failing 99% of the time.



Drop "today", "over", and "would be"
Replace ", that being" with ":"
Replace "out of the" with "in those"

-> Like many, he has a secret: when he gets horny he will often put on the pair of used panties he bought from an online Dominatrix and within seconds of sliding the pink satin up his hairy legs, be rock hard and making a small tent in those panties.



"Fridays nights" -> "Friday nights"



"till" -> until or 'til
Drop "of skin" and "worth"
"4-inches" also isn't quite right. -> "four inches" or "4-incher"?

-> Endless hours scrolling through Femdom and sissy porn beating on his nub and edging his four inches 'til the inevitable happens and a teaspoon of watery cum sprays over his belly.



"he vanishes" is unclear. Does he actually disappear? Or just his lust, or his boner?

-> Like a typical sissy, when the sexual pleasure is sated and the guilt about what he has done hits, he vanishes, only to creep back when horny again and needing his perverted sexual drug lust satisfied.



-> Like so many other sexually repressed and frustrated beta sissies he starts looking at interracial porn, at first just enjoying hetero scenes of two people having sex and not thinking past the scene itself.



Sentence is too long and somewhat repetitive to what has already been written.

-> But not long after, his sissy beta mind starts craving not to be the well-hung black stallion pleasuring hot slutty women like wild sex-starved animals, no, he wants to be like the girls; he wants those dark powerful meat rods and the heavy muscle-bound weight of the superior God-like human specimens behind each one to dominate his slim, smooth, weedy body and make him into a real sissy girl.



-> Being 100% straight he shrugs off those conflicting thoughts and puts it down to simple lust and being caught up in the moment of sexual ecstasy. After all, dressing up in girl clothes and edging his noodle knob is just casual kinky fun, right?

Your fourth paragraph is good, except "accept" -> "accepts".

 

[beta_sissy]

Thank you all

Thank you all for the replies to my post. This is the screenshot of the message I received from Literotica regarding the issues.

 

[KeithD]

Thank you all for the replies to my post. This is the screenshot of the message I received from Literotica regarding the issues.

Checking the sentences to ensure they all start with a cap should be easy enough. The notice may indicate other punctuation mistakes, but, as noted before, I didn't see enough in your sample to justify rejection.

Suggest you check the sentence capping and submit again.

 

[MetaBob]

WOW, thank you for the very detailed reply. I have read through your suggestions and will take them into account when I edit my story and hopefully write more chapters.

I really appreciate the time you took to read over and offer pointers.

You're very welcome, and glad I could help! Two other things I realized later but didn't mention at the time:

1. I moved the first sentence of your second paragraph into the first paragraph because it's really the hook into the story. Your first paragraph had been three sentences of setup, but you really want that first paragraph to pull a potential reader in and I think the change I suggested does a better job of that.
2. In your third paragraph, it's unclear whether the "wild sex-starved animals" were the "well-hung black stallion's" or the "hot slutty women" being pleasured. I consciously chose pronouns (and singular) to emphasize the former, while you might have meant the latter.

Best wishes on your writing!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thank you all for the replies to my post. This is the screenshot of the message I received from Literotica regarding the issues.

I reckon your capitalisation of words such as Femdom and African Gods is triggering a simple grammar bot that is looking for full stops to make sentences. Cut those back and you'll probably have better luck at getting it through.

You might want to consider your paragraph lengths too - you've got a wall of text. Give readers more white space.

p.s. writing in English English will not cause problems provided your fundamental grammar is okay. I've got close on a million words in Australian English with maybe one numptie comment in five years, from some fool who couldn't in fact spell, himself.

 

[sirhugs]

wrong place, sorry

 

[beta_sissy]

Got my 1st story published "BUT"

I finally got the first few chapters of a story published here. That inspired me to write another story, but today for the 2nd time, it has been returned.

The first time it was because I sent it in the wrong document format. The 2nd time I have no clue why?

The moderators send a reply but gave no real indication of the issues???????

I am using Grammarly premium these days to write, so I am lost as to why there might be any major grammar mistakes, if any.



The first few chapters of my published story,
https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=4057339&page=submissions

 

[ElectricBlue]

I finally got the first few chapters of a story published here. That inspired me to write another story, but today for the 2nd time, it has been returned.

The first time it was because I sent it in the wrong document format. The 2nd time I have no clue why?

The moderators send a reply but gave no real indication of the issues???????

What does the rejection notice say? They are generic notices - and can be tricky to interpret - but if you tell us what it says, s someone will be able to help.

 

[beta_sissy]

Thanks

Thank you for the positive review and also the suggestions mentioned.

 

[beta_sissy]

I am not 100% sure what the issue was with my new story. Here is a copy of what I was sent. It seems like they sent me an auto rejection response and did not point out the exact issue. They just gave me a list of possible issues? Very frustrating, especially since it takes a week for them to review a story.

"Dear Writer,

Thank you for your submission to Literotica. We appreciate the time and effort you've taken to write a story and submit it to our site . However, we've found that we cannot post your submission in its current form. The checklist below may help you in re-examining your manuscript.

Were there any serious errors in punctuation or formatting (i.e. submitted in all capital letters, capitalization errors, etc.)?

Please feel free to re-submit the story after a Volunteer Editor has examined it, or after you've made revisions. You can find a list of Volunteer Editors here.

Please consult our Writer's Resources section and make sure you read our submission guidelines"

 

[surferjake]

As has been noted elsewhere, there's only one reviewer.. so she employs any number of automated checks (having so much to look at), so something is likely tripping some basic checks. It might be extended wording, like your last edit .."rrroooooooorrrrwwwwwww!" vs just "roar" or "rowr"..

Editing out the 'fluff' sometimes can help get past the up front silly things.

I am not 100% sure what the issue was with my new story. Here is a copy of what I was sent. It seems like they sent me an auto rejection response and did not point out the exact issue. They just gave me a list of possible issues? Very frustrating, especially since it takes a week for them to review a story.

"Dear Writer,

Thank you for your submission to Literotica. We appreciate the time and effort you've taken to write a story and submit it to our site . However, we've found that we cannot post your submission in its current form. The checklist below may help you in re-examining your manuscript.

Were there any serious errors in punctuation or formatting (i.e. submitted in all capital letters, capitalization errors, etc.)?

Please feel free to re-submit the story after a Volunteer Editor has examined it, or after you've made revisions. You can find a list of Volunteer Editors here.

Please consult our Writer's Resources section and make sure you read our submission guidelines"

 

[DoctorSmith8]

I understand this website site wants to keep its stories semi-professional in regards to spelling and grammar etc and not have a site full of totally unreadable mixed-up stories that are near impossible to read, but I did not realise posting to this site would be such a chore.

I have loved reading the stories on here for many years, also loved writing kinky captions from time to time and posting around the internet. I assumed posting a story on Literotica would be relatively simple and allow a person to expand on their short captions by writing longer stories.

I recently had the first chapter of a story rejected for a capitalisation issue. I thought I had fixed the issue but it got rejected for the second time the day after?.

Since then I have emailed 3 editors in the hope they could point out what I am doing wrong but still awaiting any reply.

I am far from a professional writer but I like to think what I wrote was easy to read and enjoyable.

I have also been rejected usually because my stories are too short. I guess it's because I like to write action packed short stories. Too bad that is not appropriate here...

 

[ElectricBlue]

I have also been rejected usually because my stories are too short. I guess it's because I like to write action packed short stories. Too bad that is not appropriate here...

The site has a minimum story length of 750 words. That's in the FAQ. Lit doesn't cater for flash fiction.

Why would you submit something shorter than the site's guideline?