My stories are fictional!

[MiliktheRed]

I am constantly amazed at readers who believe that the stories they read are real life experiances. Hell, even most of the ones that claim to be true are probably BS. Frankly, I don't care if they are real or not as long as they are well written. Another irratatation for me are people who read a catagory, such as noncom or incest and then tell the writer how sick they are for writing it. One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that if a subject is offensive to you, you should stay away from it. Readers read to enjoy, Trolls read to disparage. You will never make a troll happy unless you quit.

 

[rosebud_6]

I am constantly amazed at readers who believe that the stories they read are real life experiances. Hell, even most of the ones that claim to be true are probably BS. Frankly, I don't care if they are real or not as long as they are well written. Another irratatation for me are people who read a catagory, such as noncom or incest and then tell the writer how sick they are for writing it. One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that if a subject is offensive to you, you should stay away from it. Readers read to enjoy, Trolls read to disparage. You will never make a troll happy unless you quit.

well, i'm not about to quit. thanks for the input though. you're totally right. if a certain category turns someone off, then they shouldn't read it!

 

[parkk84]

I can't say it's happened to me, but I've seen it with other stories. I don't read the Loving Wives category that often, but I do check out the IR category from time to time. I've seen quite a few comments there that say nothing other than to call the woman a slut. Frankly, I took those to be racist replies, but if it happens in the Loving Wives stories too then maybe there's more to it than I realized.

 

[EricCalder]

Just a quick comment after looking at "Entrapment" and "Amy's Last Night of Freedom," the paragraph length tends to get longer as the story goes on, and I think that detracts, especially when reading on line.

I would suggest breaking the paragraphs up a bit, say, have a couple sentences of what he is doing, followed by her reaction as a new paragraph, etc.

I like the writing, so don't take this as a terribly thing, just a quick comment.

 

[spyro1123]

Hey rose, having read your story and the comments... I am not sure that that person's comments were ment to be negative. He rated your story as very hot. Although perhaps I am not reading the right comment.

Here is my two cents on the story.

The whole scene where they get rained on could be dropped, it doesn't serve any purpose but to show that Darren is a cocky bastard. I think you could have used this scene to build more tention between the two of them. You could show some inner thoughts from Amy, how does she feel about the whole thing? I don't feel like I learn anything about her. If you had used this scene to build the tension it would give her a reason to WANT to have a last fling.

Instead they both hop into bed naked, don't do anything then leave in the morning.

If I were rewriting this story I would have this part cut out. Or i would rewrite it to be a little slower, instead of jumping into bed maybe he did his dropping his pants thing and she pretends to blow him off while remembering what fun they had together.... He appoligizes for his display and she spends some time thinking about how she would like to fuck him again etc.

All told I wouldn't give up but you could spend some time developing your charictars a little more. What you have here reads a lot like a like a newspaper story...kind of a he did this she did that. I would like some more conflict and drama in a story.... either through Amy conflicting with herself, or her fiencee or some freak landslide... i don't care what it is but without conflict you dont have a story.

 

[never_again]

don't worry

If someone judges your submission based on the morality of the characters, then they are acting very immature.

 

[rosebud_6]

Just a quick comment after looking at "Entrapment" and "Amy's Last Night of Freedom," the paragraph length tends to get longer as the story goes on, and I think that detracts, especially when reading on line.

I would suggest breaking the paragraphs up a bit, say, have a couple sentences of what he is doing, followed by her reaction as a new paragraph, etc.

I like the writing, so don't take this as a terribly thing, just a quick comment.

Thanks for your comment EricCalder. i will make sure that's something that i keep in mind for future stories. very helpful.

 

[rosebud_6]

Hey rose, having read your story and the comments... I am not sure that that person's comments were ment to be negative. He rated your story as very hot. Although perhaps I am not reading the right comment.

Here is my two cents on the story.

The whole scene where they get rained on could be dropped, it doesn't serve any purpose but to show that Darren is a cocky bastard. I think you could have used this scene to build more tention between the two of them. You could show some inner thoughts from Amy, how does she feel about the whole thing? I don't feel like I learn anything about her. If you had used this scene to build the tension it would give her a reason to WANT to have a last fling.

Instead they both hop into bed naked, don't do anything then leave in the morning.

If I were rewriting this story I would have this part cut out. Or i would rewrite it to be a little slower, instead of jumping into bed maybe he did his dropping his pants thing and she pretends to blow him off while remembering what fun they had together.... He appoligizes for his display and she spends some time thinking about how she would like to fuck him again etc.

All told I wouldn't give up but you could spend some time developing your charictars a little more. What you have here reads a lot like a like a newspaper story...kind of a he did this she did that. I would like some more conflict and drama in a story.... either through Amy conflicting with herself, or her fiencee or some freak landslide... i don't care what it is but without conflict you dont have a story.

thanks for your comments also. i see what you mean. i will have to have a think about this too. try to incorporate more conflict into my stories and build more on the characters.