New and a little embarrassed

[Prynne6]

First post too

I am also new to the discussion boards but not to literotica. I am 27 year old married sub, but again not married to someone into bdsm at all. I tried everything I could to get my husband to try things out but it didn't work. I began seeing another man who is married himself in a sexless relationship. He is a dom and we have wonderful sex. I love my husband and don't want to leave him, but I struggle with guilt all the time.

 

[ZeroLance]

This is my first post. I am married and have tried to talk to my husband about my needs to be submissive. He has been wonderful but life gets in the way. He is not as interested in sex as I am. I feel like I am cheating on him but I have to be honest I feel so lonely right now. I look around at the same loads of laundry and the same dishes in the sink day after day after day. I just want some sexual adventure. I want to give up control and have a master help me find the true me. Sometimes I feel like no one understands that is why I decided to post. Do any of you feel alone in the real world. It is the same details day after day. I also have s strong faith background and I feel like such a sinner. Are there really dominates out there who try to find out about the needs of their subs. I just don't know what to do about my submissive needs.

Hmmm. Well I my self I was in a 8 year relation ship were i buried my DOM tendances and she left me. After that i have kinda found how i am again. As to your faith... Jesus said love and harm none .... As did all the others it was a man and hate did that so feel no shame at what you are for the spider feels no pity as it eats the fly.

 

[ZeroLance]

Thank you for all your posts. It has given me some insite. I understand that life is going to have laundry and dishes. I just want a little reward now and then. I know some masters give little rewards. You know it is nice to get a reward. I try to do nice things in return. I really have openly discussed all of my desires with my spouse. I have even tried to do the things he has wanted me to do sexually to get the ball rolling. Believe me I have tried everything. I just appreciate being able to vent here. I'm frustrated right now is all. Thanks

Then perhaps you should maby.... Just actsept that part of you may be hidden in the shadows... But that is not to say that its bad because thats is not true just in this one case let it be hidden from those that must not see. Im sorry if im confusing but as a oneness I am fallower of I dont see right and wrong (the oneness is not just god but the goddes as well "the complet whole") the same as you may. So you have to not share this one part of your life. But you seem to have found a way no?

 

[Monkiey10]

Tried to reach out privately....

I tried to send you a PM but your inbox is full....or not turned on. I have some advice for you but I am not posting it here...I don't want to be eaten alive by people who deign to tell me that they know me better than I know myself (you know who you are!!)

So clear out your inbox and send me a message.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I tried to send you a PM but your inbox is full....or not turned on. I have some advice for you but I am not posting it here...I don't want to be eaten alive by people who deign to tell me that they know me better than I know myself (you know who you are!!)

So clear out your inbox and send me a message.

We'd only call you on it if the advice given is blatantly stupid. Everyone here knows that people are different, and do things differently.

 

[ZeroLance]

Aman

We'd only call you on it if the advice given is blatantly stupid. Everyone here knows that people are different, and do things differently.

As well its good to Have your "Leg's kicked out from under ya'!" As my grandma would say. I know I shure as hell do from time to time.

 

[gingertea]

Luvnobey,

I have read your original post and the many very wise (and a couple insensitive) replies you've received. I don't have a lot to add, especially since it appears you've already started conversing or exploring with a Dom outside your marriage. However I have some insight into your situation because I am recently divorced from a vanilla good guy. He is a good guy but he wasn't good for me. We were married 14 yrs and separated for one before the divorce was final and it was very difficult to walk away. However I knew he not only didn't want the same things I wanted in our relationship, but also condemned me for wanting them. It doesn't sound like your husband is condemning your wants or needs, however having been in your shoes and now look back on the woman I was - I realize until almost the end I really didn't do the things you've been advised. I didn't make my needs clearly known. I didn't allow my needs to be considered important (sometimes a hazard of being a sub by nature). I didn't make our sex life (or lack thereof) a priority.

If you want your marriage to survive I don't believe you can have a relationship outside of it unless you're a polyamorous couple. Cheating online or IRL is counterproductive to making things better in your home, in my opinion. I don't regret leaving my husband - my life is much better now. However if you truly love your husband I'd suggest you search yourself, make your needs known to him, and make your sex life a priority, before you plunge into something outside of the relationship. I wish you the best.

GingerT

 

[StrayKat]

If you want your marriage to survive I don't believe you can have a relationship outside of it unless you're a polyamorous couple.

Or unless you have agreement about relationships outside of your marriage.
I personally am not the kind of person who would care to lie and hide, even though I dont say everything if my husband ever asked I would present him with names and data right away. I dont believe I am doing anything wrong, nor would I do something that felt wrong for my own sake in first place.

But even if you are the person who likes hiding and secrecy, I dont think a marriage already burdened with sexual misunderstanding or incompatibility needs some sort of "cheating" on top. Neither does person already bothered with unfulfilled desires need guilt as additional problem.

 

[FurryFury]

When doing laundry or what have you, tell yourself this is "service" to your primary Dom and/or family. Do it proudly and as well as you can.

If that doesn't work, pretend you are making a commercial for the soap or what have you.

Give your husband colors or numbers he can call. When he calls them, you do certain acts for him, such as, a blow job, or some position you don't like or whatever. He might get into that game as it's interesting and it could lead other places.

FF

 

[ZeroLance]

When doing laundry or what have you, tell yourself this is "service" to your primary Dom and/or family. Do it proudly and as well as you can.

If that doesn't work, pretend you are making a commercial for the soap or what have you.

Give your husband colors or numbers he can call. When he calls them, you do certain acts for him, such as, a blow job, or some position you don't like or whatever. He might get into that game as it's interesting and it could lead other places.

FF

Lol! Thats sounds like lots of fun!!! Hmmm I wonder who would like this.....*wink*.

 

[Hotkitty66]

Omg...you are me! I feel the same way!,,,,,

 

[Hotkitty66]

happy for you!

 

[Hotkitty66]

good Advice zero!