New faces, come say hello...

[Littlebitofme]

Learning a lot

Hi, I'm littlebitofme. I have been married for the past 29 years to a wonderful husband who is trying very hard to understand the changing me. Over the past nine months or so I have finally admitted to myself and my husband that I am submissive and into BDSM. I am still trying to find my way though. I have spent quite a bit of time reading and exploring. My husband has been very supportive and interested. I think he is really starting to find his inner Dom. I know we have still have a long way to go but it sure is fun getting there.

I'm pretty shy and don't know if I can hold a conversation with anyone else about this lifestyle yet but I hope to one day. I'm so glad I found this site. Thanks to everyone for being themselves and sharing.

 

[DVS]

Looking for answers and maybe wanna make a few friends along the way? Confused about some of your sexual desires or maybe those of your spouse? Looking for a way to stop those weirdos from sending you private messages? Well then, it looks like you've come to the right place.

Welcome all of you new people to this little family of sex perverts. Like many social groupings, 99% of us are nice and friendly...OK, maybe 97%, and the rest are just your general, run of the mill perverts. However you want to look at us, we are experienced in our kinky knowledge. Most of us will help you with answers to any legitimate questions you might have, and there are a few who will probably offer to engage in a few kinky games with you. I'm sorry about the latter...perverts will be perverts, and maybe a few weirdos.

So, let's get down to the first things first. Be nice and read the sticky Welcome To The BDSM Talk Forum. Any time you get a group of people together, you need a few rules. Our group is no different. Then, feel free to post in the BDSM Cafe, as it's a nice place to socialize in conversations about most anything, and it leaves the main BDSM talk forum for the serious conversations and questions about BDSM.

Literotica partially stands for literate erotica. That means we like reading posts with complete sentences, correct punctuation, and broken up into paragraphs. We're not going to kick you to the curb if you can't always do that, but we would like you to make the effort.

Don't worry, we do understand if English isn't your first language. Frankly, I don't know how well I'd do if I had to communicate in some other language. It's a good thing for me that English is my first and only language.

Take the time to check out our BDSM Library. It's a very nice collection of past threads full of interesting discussions on BDSM topics. Oh, and please don't post in the library. It will piss off the librarian and trust me...you don't want her coming after you. Otherwise, she's very nice.

Oh, one last thing. We protect our own. If you're nice and give people simple respect, you'll get the same. If you read something that looks unfriendly in a post, at least assume it's a misunderstanding. Don't jump to conclusions before you know for sure. Tempers can get the best of kinky people, too. Let's all play nice. OK? Cool.

 

[DVS]

Hi, I'm littlebitofme. I have been married for the past 29 years to a wonderful husband who is trying very hard to understand the changing me. Over the past nine months or so I have finally admitted to myself and my husband that I am submissive and into BDSM. I am still trying to find my way though. I have spent quite a bit of time reading and exploring. My husband has been very supportive and interested. I think he is really starting to find his inner Dom. I know we have still have a long way to go but it sure is fun getting there.

I'm pretty shy and don't know if I can hold a conversation with anyone else about this lifestyle yet but I hope to one day. I'm so glad I found this site. Thanks to everyone for being themselves and sharing.

You've done the right thing by talking with your husband about your new found kinks. And it's nice that he's being an attentive husband and trying to accommodate you. That's very cool.

Some wouldn't understand and it can break up a marriage. I hope the two of you end up having fun exploring this new adventure. Just understand that you are not weird, no matter what some idiots might say. And usually, the people who say you are weird are most likely trying to keep their own weird thoughts hidden.

 

[DVS]

hi all... where to start. i've been a long time reader here at literotica and only just recently found the forums... 30yo male in the us, dom in the past... my longest most fulfilling experience was helping a hotwife sub explore the depths of her need for submission, sadly it was not meant to last... i'm now in a new relationship with a fantastic girl who is completely vanilla... but open minded... perhaps in time, as our relationship deepens and our trust grows, she will let me help her explore the pleasure and sensuality that play can evoke....
it's nice to find a community like this, and i hope to come back often : )

Take your time with this fantastic girl. Communicate with her and explain things so she knows what's going on. Then, let her decide on how fast you progress. Sometimes people need time to absorb new things and they don't want to feel overpowered or rushed. After a while, she'll feel better about it all and want to dive more into things. And I think she'll appreciate you for it.

 

[DVS]

hi there,
Well... I am 25 fem sub... Been a his pet for the last 4yrs... My life revolves around him... Professionaly m an advocate and i gave myself to him while we were still studyin for law... 2days ago i was readin a discussion here titled slave's marks (i guess).. Thats when i really understood my relationship with him... Never knew there was a name for it.. I always thought bdsm stood for pain and toys and stuff... Well m his slave for reasons other than the ones i usually read... I dnt even like calling myself a slave (since he disapproves) guess thats my mark..m his pet (cause he would have it that ways and also cause he spoils me like a kitty)
Thats all folks!!!

Pet, kitty, slave, submissive, they're all just labels. Don't try to be something you aren't. Decide what you are to him and what he is to you and then choose what you want to call it. Personally, I don't care for labels, because people assume slave means a certain thing and submissive means a certain thing, etc. To a point, that is true, but that doesn't mean you can't call yourself a slave and add your own special traits to it.

Just have fun and do what the two of you like to do. If I had to choose, I like kitty or pet. Then you are free to define yourself in any way you want without some idiot coming up to you and telling you that you're doing it all wrong. Yes, they are out there.

 

[DVS]

Hi, oh how I hate these "tell us about yourself" threads, I enjoy reading all about others, but I hate trying to tell about me. It is a very long & complicated story on how I came to know I was a sub so I will not bore you with that. I am a 40 something year old bi female and my whole life I knew there was something I needed in a relationship that I was not getting, (knowing what I know now and looking back at so many failed relationships, it is obvious, I was just clueless at the time) I just didn't know what it was till the last few years, and I didn't act on it until this past year. So here I am, I know without a doubt I am a sub, my husband knows this about me now, a recent & painful discovery for him. He has forgiven much and is now trying to learn about what it is that I need.

You're not alone in hating that "tell us about yourself" thing. But, it does give others a little insight into your life. Go easy on your husband. Finding all this out a spouse can be traumatic. Talk with him and explain it all to him. The more he knows, the better he will feel about it. He might think you are weird and he needs to understand that you aren't.

I like to think being kinky goes along with intelligence. It means you aren't satisfied with the basic sex life and you desire more. Plus there are social and subconscious things that make us desire kinky sex, too. But it has nothing to do with being weird. He was probably taught not to hit a woman so it's going to be difficult for him to get past that. But, there is no template that he must follow. Whatever he feels comfortable with should be what you stick with for a while. Move on to more things, as he feels OK with it.

 

[rockgirl123]

new to all this

Hello all.

37 year old female here who has always had an interest in bdsm. My husband is not very sexual and not at all interested in trying to be dominant.

I am interested in discussing this side of my personality more with like-minded individuals. I hope to here from you all soon.

Take care. X

 

[DVS]

Hello all.

37 year old female here who has always had an interest in bdsm. My husband is not very sexual and not at all interested in trying to be dominant.

I am interested in discussing this side of my personality more with like-minded individuals. I hope to here from you all soon.

Take care. X

Welcome, rockgirl123. You've come to the right place. Sorry about your husband, but it happens. Maybe he'll come around, some day. A lot of people find out about their kinky side late in life, so there's still hope!

 

[Littlebitofme]

You've done the right thing by talking with your husband about your new found kinks. And it's nice that he's being an attentive husband and trying to accommodate you. That's very cool.

Some wouldn't understand and it can break up a marriage. I hope the two of you end up having fun exploring this new adventure. Just understand that you are not weird, no matter what some idiots might say. And usually, the people who say you are weird are most likely trying to keep their own weird thoughts hidden.

Thanks DVS,
I appreciate the welcome and the kind words. It's nice to have a safe place to explore and share.

 

[Littlebitofme]

Hi, oh how I hate these "tell us about yourself" threads, I enjoy reading all about others, but I hate trying to tell about me. It is a very long & complicated story on how I came to know I was a sub so I will not bore you with that. I am a 40 something year old bi female and my whole life I knew there was something I needed in a relationship that I was not getting, (knowing what I know now and looking back at so many failed relationships, it is obvious, I was just clueless at the time) I just didn't know what it was till the last few years, and I didn't act on it until this past year. So here I am, I know without a doubt I am a sub, my husband knows this about me now, a recent & painful discovery for him. He has forgiven much and is now trying to learn about what it is that I need.

I know some of what you are going through. It has only been in the last year that I have made my own discoveries. One of best things you can do is talk openly and slowly to your husband. Give him time and try to understand his position. It sounds like he really loves you and is willing to learn with you. I know as much as I want to make up for lost time I don't want to lose the time we have now. So I am taking it one day at a time and enjoying every discovery and victory.

I wish you the best.

 

[Rother]

I'm generally more of a lurker, more of a listener. Talking about myself when no-one has asked makes me feel rather uncomfortable. But, I came here to talk to people, to read, and to find out more about other people...like me, for want of a better term. And that means jumping in, right?

I feel that I am discovering more of my kinks as the time slips by. Once I hit my 30's I started to accept what I liked, and what I wanted. It seems that I go further into the rabbit hole with each passing month.

I'm an English woman, and I'm looking to talk and listen to people, share experiences, and maybe find new friends. If you have cake, that's a plus

 

[shymama1012]

I've been exploring Lit for awhile now, but I only recently joined. As my name suggests, I tend to be a little shy.

I have recently started to accept that I am submissive. I was nervous to admit it to my husband, but he has been very supportive. He's even found some aspects of BDSM that appeal to him. We are beginning to explore this together, and discover what works for us.

I came to Lit hoping to meet some new people and learn as much as I could. So far, everyone I've talked to here has been wonderful.

 

[peevespet]

Pet, kitty, slave, submissive, they're all just labels. Don't try to be something you aren't. Decide what you are to him and what he is to you and then choose what you want to call it. Personally, I don't care for labels, because people assume slave means a certain thing and submissive means a certain thing, etc. To a point, that is true, but that doesn't mean you can't call yourself a slave and add your own special traits to it.

Just have fun and do what the two of you like to do. If I had to choose, I like kitty or pet. Then you are free to define yourself in any way you want without some idiot coming up to you and telling you that you're doing it all wrong. Yes, they are out there.

Thanks for making me feel welcomed and also for this great advice. Yes, I have met people here telling me 10 different things. If nothing else, I atleast know what I am.. Pet
Thanks,
Peevespet

 

[Sub_M]

So many people! That's kind of comforting.

I'm Sub_M. I'm fairly new to bdsm but I've still had time to do a bit of exploring. By nature I'm an incredibly submissive person and I'd like to explore that in full, see what I like and what I don't. My partner has always liked the aesthetics of the bdsm culture but not anything else really. That said he bought a flogger of his own accord the other day, so we'll see.

I'm a physics student and a pretty big nerd (science fan, PC gamer, D&D player). I'm really interested in medieval times, more specifically architecture, weapons and wars. I'm learning archery and would love to learn how to properly wield a sword (no katanas or rapiers, not my thing). I'm a prolific reader and chew through an inordinate amount of fantasy books. I'm Australian but living in Germany for the moment; it's fantastic for me because I love the culture, history, cheap beer and cold weather. (Yes, people do exist who like dreary weather )

I discovered bdsm by accident really, and was really hit with just how well it fits my personality. I'm working at overcoming a particularly nasty anxiety disorder (making great progress), but this helped me realise that I don't have to change that many things. Nothing wrong with being a little different.

 

[Sodacan]

Hi all!

Sodacan here, I am male 23 this month. I have been Dom in the past IRL, as well as online and loved it. Have been desperately wanting to sub for a Mistress that would make me hers teach the role of a sub and maybe I could even learn some Dom skills form the other side of the looking glass...

As a Dom I have an approach that has gotten me burned in the past. Before any real 'play' I pick my subs mind, asking about their limits and preferences. I demand submission from my slaves, you are mine and I will break you, by force or by choice. You can cum along willingly or there will be floggings, you decide. But I find that most sluts can't appreciate that, the realization that the sub holds all the true power, they are the driving force behind the DS relationship. I do love my slaves so very much, I must find some more.

 

[Normak]

Hey everone,

I'm 25, kind of new to the whole bondage scene. Ive been interested in it for a while but never found anyone to try it with.

Not that long ago started seeing someone who fancied trying it too, so had a little look about the internet and found this amazing site which has given me many new idea to tease, torment and excite her with.

Thank you in advance,

Normak.

 

[acer2x]

Hello!

I'm an experienced Dom. I'm seeking a NSA Fsub, trainee or experienced, play partner in the metro Phoenix area. I recently moved here and my needs are immediate. Spanking and bondage are of special interest. I enjoy taking pleasure in the beauty of restrained women.

 

[darkking_1991]

Hi i am a 21 year old male sub from India. I like to pleasure a woman who dominates me. I like facesitting and other humiliating activities.

 

[Duhjak]

Hello

Hello cruel world! I just now joined the site, and this forum page. No question or comment just yet, I will just watch and listen for now.

 

[SexyLitForAll]

Hello cruel world! I just now joined the site, and this forum page. No question or comment just yet, I will just watch and listen for now.

Welcum, Duhjak. There's no cruelty here...just the kindness of a firm hand.

 

[Subrella]

Ah-ha, I'm not sure how to introduce myself. Literotica is the first sex-focused community site I've ever been on (and therefore this forum the first BDSM-focused, as well).

I guess I'll start with the basics: I start college this fall. I'm bisexual, female, and submissive. I'm introverted and I love the stories on this site. And I guess if you want to know more, just send me a PM since I probably won't be posting much; I'm more of a lurker.

 

[Foxyrox]

Hi. This is the first forum I have ever joined. I'm not usually the forum type of girl but I'm drawn to this due to some recent experiences that have sparked something inside me. Now I can't stop thinking about it!

I'm a 27 year old girl who is trying to make sense of my thoughts. I'm not really sure how to define them or explain them, but I am curious enough to explore them for now. I'm interested in talking to others who are like-minded, particularly those who are experienced in domination/submission and are happy to give advice/answer questions. I'm finding the threads here really useful so far and there are definitely some people who come across as very knowledgeable on the subject.

I'm looking forward to the reading that's ahead of me...

 

[shaneo1]

Hello, newbie here just dropping a note to say "hello" 40 year old male with a sub wife from australia

I'm noticing a lot of new posters around these parts, and it's getting difficult to keep up. We've been a small and kinda insular little community for so long, it is both thrilling and a little overwhelming to realize that we have so many people joining us with their own questions, experiences, and ideas.

So, on behalf of antiques like me, I ask for a favor:
Please, stop in and introduce yourself. Give us a chance to see you, get to know a bit about you, and we'll likely be more readily able to answer your questions or join a conversation with you. Let us know that you aren't a troll, and you'll jump way up the priority list all in one shot. At least, for me.

I'll start: Hi there. I'm RisiaSkye, bifem masochist & Switch, married to major lurker and rare poster MasterMe, also a Switch. We've been together for nearly 9 years, and have been slowly exploring BDSM for most of that time. This is my second long(ish) BDSM relationship, though I have dabbled with the "kinky sex" angle pretty much since the first time I progressed beyond kissing. This is a lifelong thing for me, I think. I am, however, all but totally ignorant about the world of BDSM that exists on the 'net. Essentially all of my experience of this kinda sexuality, insofar is it involves going beyond reading and thinking and into some kind of sexual contact with another, has taken place in the RL/skin-to-skin world.

I'm a college teacher, Ph.D. student, and writer, though at points past I have been a hotel maid, a waitress, bartender, English tutor, motel manager, telephone psychic and a phone sex operator. I collect Stephen King first editions and books on the occult and am fascinated by 19th century Bibles and 20th century French philosophers. I'm a sarcastic beyatch on occasion, but I'm generally pretty nice. (What? I AM!)

Welcome, new faces!

Now, who's next?
~~

 

[Bunnehboo]

New Girl in these parts

Hi! I'm new (Obviously) I joined a bit ago and read around but didn't get up and post things. Might as well get off my rear!

I'm 20, female, 5'2, curvy build from California and I guess I fit into the sub category. I've always been submissive with women and loved when they took control. There is something that calls to me about being wanted so deeply that they can't keep their hands off you. I always have identified as a lesbian but have found lately that while I'm emotionally exclusively attracted to women, men get the sub in me excited.

I recently experimented with a master slave situation and I couldn't believe how wet I got. I loved being down on my knees and having him control me as a tool for his own pleasure, but I didn't trust him enough to let go completely so our sexual relationship fizzled. I wanted him to control me like a slut and he wanted to tend to me emotionally. I wanted to be his pet and property but he wanted to have my entire being.

I guess I can say I'm not sure what I want since I'm early on in my discovery.

 

[lux86]

Just read Culture Shock by Sir_Nathan

I am:
27, Filipino, Female and short.
Working professional in healthcare and happy to be.
submissive, but I don't feel this title is an accurate description. But I do highly prefer submitting. I thrive in this role.

I am currently in a relationship that began as a D/s relationship. O/our anniversary is on Valentine's Day. I received my collar then. Happiest day of my life. I am afraid the last time I had a scene with my significant Other has been more than 2 years....

I don't know what happened. I think work on both our parts? I try to initiate(I hate initiating, but I am working at this relationship) and discuss my feelings but he accuses me of "pushing" him, or of giving him a hard time because he is tired. I also have a very high sex drive - and I feel neglected if it is not part of my aftercare.

I am on the forums to read other experiences, and to receive advice for my own personal growth. I am also in the cusp of making difficult decisions about my relationship and my role as a submissive in my private life.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone for friendship.