New faces, come say hello...

[LallyH]

Hi. I'm LallyH. I'm in a longterm relationship, and got a couple of kids. I'm uncomfortable with trying to label what kind of couple we are so I'll just tell you and then you can decide . I've always been submissive so my partner takes a dominant role, but despite being together forever, we have only recently started playing seriously. We do a lot of intense impact play, so floggers, canes, belts, paddles, crops are favourite toys. Bondage - yes. Clamps - yes. Hot wax - yes. Punishments for behaviour modification - yes. Anything else - not yet, thanks. We are D/s in the bedroom, but keep it hidden for the most part in the rest of our lives, and especially in front of the kids who are quick to notice if dad smacks mum quite hard and she laughs! We have a lot of fun together. We don't want to go to clubs or meetings. So are we bdsm, D/s, vanilla? Who cares! I like reading erotic literature but realise it is fantasy. I like reading threads where I can dip in to other people's thoughts, experiences and emotions and pinch ideas that we can use, so I probably won't post much, just enjoy reading about what the rest of you are getting up to

 

[Bealinda]

Hello

Hello, my name is Bealinda,Im 36 years old female. Im in a long term relationship,and have a son. I not 100% sure what I am, but Im leaning more toward submissive. Just looking to explore this more, because Ive always been curious about it. Ive always loved dominant men and being controlled in bed. I dont know if that makes me a sub, but Im here to find out

 

[curious12154]

Hey I'm a new girl

Username kind of says it all.... I'm quite curious about my sexuality, not really sure what I'm into. I'm certain I'm submissive rather than dominant, and I'm pretty sure its just in the bedroom - I don't think it would fit in with the rest of my life.

As for what I'll do in the bedroom - thats what I'm curious about. I'm interested to see how what my limits are, and just need to find the right person to test that out.

So hello, nice to meet you all

 

[SexyLitForAll]

To you newbies...

...welcum to the world of Lit. Glad to have you here. Fill in your profiles with your pertinent info and a picture. The more we know about you, the better we can address your "curiosities". After 100 posts, you get to put up an avatar.

So get to work all you subs, and you will get beyond that "virgin" status!

 

[StripperSlutWife]

I'm not actually all that new, nor is my face. I've been around since the 70's after all.

My desires, they aren't new either. Also around since the 70's. Before I could define them, really.

Oh, but sometimes you're walking along a familiar path, and someone takes you by the hand. Leads you further on that path than you've been before. The trail ahead is mostly familiar, but there are new things to see and feel as well. And one wonders, just how far that winding path leads.

I kneel in the soft grass along the path ... gazing up.

 

[ekind]

Hello from newbie...

Hello!

I just discovered my GF (of six months) was very extensively into BDSM in her last relationship of 10 years! From little that I know, I feel excited about this revelation. She is a sub and we have been doing things apparently without formally acknowledging my natural "BDSM" orientation as she puts it.

I am a 33 year old male, well educated, and very open minded. I am not a troll and would love to receive feedback and learn from more experienced doms and subs here.

I see that there is a wealth of knowledge and culture associated with BDSM. I feel a bit overwhelmed by it. I like to be able to post here, just wondering if I am in the right place and if so what is the best venue/group topic for me? I am going to post my first question, please feel free to re-direct as appropriate .

Is BDSM a form of sexual orientation, like being straight vs bi etc.? I am very curious about the answer from the perspective of experienced doms and subs. I love what appears to be BDSM style acts, but it never occurred to me, obviously, to identify as a BDSM person. I can see now that my GF is. She has the right conceptual framework, the terminology like safewording etc. I don't have any of that, it's all been free form so far. Am I at the brink of a process to get formally re-oriented, or is it more casual than that?

Eric

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hello!

I just discovered my GF (of six months) was very extensively into BDSM in her last relationship of 10 years! From little that I know, I feel excited about this revelation. She is a sub and we have been doing things apparently without formally acknowledging my natural "BDSM" orientation as she puts it.

Welcome to what may be one of the most exciting and fulfilling times of your life... and to what I have found, over the past, to be one of the most open, helpful and knowledgeable groups of people in the BDSM culture.

I am a 33 year old male, well educated, and very open minded. I am not a troll and would love to receive feedback and learn from more experienced doms and subs here.

Open-minded is definitely very good. You have been, apparently, raised in the Western culture, and of late (the last 30-50 years or so), there has been a great deal of emphasis placed on not hurting others, equality over all else, especially between the genders, and an increase in men's "sensitivity" to issues, particularly women' issues. Depending on how deeply you delve into the BDSM culture, you may have to retrain your own thinking in order to reach an equilibrium that is satisfying to both you and your girlfriend.

I see that there is a wealth of knowledge and culture associated with BDSM. I feel a bit overwhelmed by it. I like to be able to post here, just wondering if I am in the right place and if so what is the best venue/group topic for me? I am going to post my first question, please feel free to re-direct as appropriate .

There is a depth to the BDSM culture that surprises many people who have not previously been exposed to it, but you need not feel "overwhelmed." Take in what you want and need at a pace that is comfortable for you and your partner, and try to be patient with yourself.

Is BDSM a form of sexual orientation, like being straight vs bi etc.? I am very curious about the answer from the perspective of experienced doms and subs.

As I'm a sadist, not a Dom, I can't *really* answer that question "from the perspective of experienced doms and subs," but I can say that, IMO, BDSM *is* a form of sexual orientation, one that is more or less "hardwired" into each person. However, a person who does not have that "natural" inclination toward BDSM can *learn* to perform BDSM acts, either as doer or doee, but it will be learned behavior, not natural. My earliest psycho-sexual memories are of spanking another, and spanking (and other impact/pain play) has been an important - and to me, necessary - part of my sex life, even before puberty.

I love what appears to be BDSM style acts, but it never occurred to me, obviously, to identify as a BDSM person. I can see now that my GF is. She has the right conceptual framework, the terminology like safewording etc. I don't have any of that, it's all been free form so far. Am I at the brink of a process to get formally re-oriented, or is it more casual than that?

Eric

You say that you (plural) have been "doing things apparently without formally acknowledging my natural 'BDSM' orientation," and imply that you have experienced pleasure in doing these things, so my diagnosis would be that your "failure" to identify as a BDSM person was perhaps more from a point of not having knowledge/experience of what BDSM is than not having an inclination toward BDSM. It's hard to identify as something of which you have no knowledge or experience, yanno? Then once you gain a bit of knowledge and/or experience, take your time to explore - physically and mentally - this new thing in your life. Fill out (both of you!) a BDSM checklist or two, and discuss your responses and how they mesh/don't mesh. TALK to one another! In *any* relationship, communication is perhaps the most important key to the relationship's survival. Be honest with one another. "This squicks me out. I don't see myself being able to do that at this point in my life."*) "This sounds exciting. I'd really like to try it. Are you up for it?" "I don't know wtf this *IS!* Do you?"

* - One thing you will likely find out as time goes by is that some of our "hard limits" become soft limits become preferred activities... so, "Never say 'Never.' Say, 'Not right now... maybe later on.'"

And let me refer you to the BDSM Library, where our Librarians have, over the years, collected and collated and arranged information in a relatively easy to access format that will allow you to browse and learn about other people's thoughts on those topics over the past decade or so, from the viewpoints of absolute first-timers to the viewpoints of people who have been in the culture for decades.

Good luck to you on your journey, and welcome to BDSM Talk and the Café!

 

[submaleIndia]

Hello

Hello All,

i've been on this forum for a little while and have been a lurker mostly. too busy reading other threads and didnt notice this thread,

Im a 31 yr old guy from India. I consider my self a submissive when it comes to strong women. Dominant women turn me on. feminization, sissification are some of the things i like, i also enjoy showing off my naked self to whoever would like to watch
kinky.

almost forgot a tiny little detail, im a virgin (not sure if that word is applicable to guys)

 

[Novita76]

hi there, ive been lurking on lit just reading for a few months now, but just joined the forum today.

I guess im mostly a sub, with a wee bit of a dom side that doesnt come out very often.

 

[funbg]

hi there, ive been lurking on lit just reading for a few months now, but just joined the forum today.

I guess im mostly a sub, with a wee bit of a dom side that doesnt come out very often.

Nice to meet you, and I hope you're enjoying Lit so far as much as I am! Feel free to PM me sometime if you fancy a kinky new friend. Cheers!

 

[FHMbabe]

.....

 

[Novita76]

umm hi there, first off im horrid at talking about myself.....i joined yesterday, lurked a bit and may a few posts. im still feeling crazy lost and i feel like i wanna run my shy sub furry self back under my rock. im tough skinned but please be gentle.

 

[funbg]

umm hi there, first off im horrid at talking about myself.....i joined yesterday, lurked a bit and may a few posts. im still feeling crazy lost and i feel like i wanna run my shy sub furry self back under my rock. im tough skinned but please be gentle.

I see in another post you've already gotten a ton of private messages. Should I pretend to be surprised? I work a bit differently. I would like to send a private message, but will wait for your permission. May I?

 

[Novita76]

I see in another post you've already gotten a ton of private messages. Should I pretend to be surprised? I work a bit differently. I would like to send a private message, but will wait for your permission. May I?

yes you may

 

[IrisLover]

I'm a newbie here and new to exploring this lifestyle. I just want to learn and eventually live it. I'm a woman in my 30s and just very curious and just saying hi.

 

[FHMbabe]

.....

 

[angeleyes612]

Hello, my name is Angeleyes, I am new to this forum and can already say I am going to like it here. I am 24, bifem sub. I didn't get into BDSM until after my divorce 6 years ago since we didnt have much of a sex life and they few I dated after him would not indulge me in my fantasies. My current s/o on the other hand I have been with for almost 3 years and he is a dom. We have a great relationship and I would like to keep it that way, therefor since I am still fairly new to this I joined to learn more and to get advice when needed.

 

[dirtypleasures]

Hello everyone.. I'm a new here and new to exploring the lifestyle. I'm a dominant guy very curious and want to learn from others experience.

 

[DominantStudent]

Newguy

Hi...its actually my first time posting here...while ive enjoyed literotica for a few years now ive only recently staryed to take a closer look at the bdsm world...i have had experiences with sub dom sexual scenarios before but nvr looked to closly. im definitely a dom but i love it when my fiancée gets that look in her eye and starts getting suggestive...im young in my early 20s and just wanted to meet n hear from pll with more experience and maybe from orange county...thanx

 

[Tonguemeister]

Been around for a while, but not visited this thread. Experienced r/l and virtual Dom. Happy to make new friends.

 

[Susanlk16]

Hi I'm new here and excited to meet new people! I'm Susan and just getting interested in bdsm. I am 18 years old and can't wait to learn more!

 

[Secondcitysaint]

Hey,
I am a new guy, I have know about my interest in BDSM since before I knew what to call it. I am a Dominant and have a pretty good idea what does and does not interest me in a general sense, but I really want to learn more about what lays past the surface and pick up any knowledge that may come my way.


-Saint

 

[undina]

I'm definitely new to the D/s world. I recently started an exclusive relationship with my Master. So far I'm loving every minute of it There are so much for me to explore and learn!

 

[PrettyKitty95]

New

Hello, I just turned 18 on March 24, so I decided to go ahead and join this website/forum. I'd rather not give out my real name on here, so if y'all want, y'all can just call me Kitten. Anyway, I am currently in an exclusive relationship in which I am the sub. Also, I am kind of new to the whole D/s thing, seeing as only recently admitted to myself that I am into it. I enjoy pet play, bondage, and spankings, along with many other things...I don't really know what else to say, so I guess I'll be going now. :3

 

[slumbermama]

I guess I should say hi and say who I am. I am Ann. I am a Midwest chic with what is becoming a major kink fetish or perhaps obsession is the better word. The whole bdsm lifestyle intrigues me a lot. I am curious about the being tied and spanked thing. I am trying to experiment with it right now. I kind of want to try some anal but am nervous about it. I am open to anything that keeps the sex life from getting boring.