Ogg the Great

[gauchecritic]

What did I say? What did I say? A part of Og's hat. That's what I said.

Gauche

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

What did I say? What did I say? A part of Og's hat. That's what I said.

Gauche

And nobody will ever let you forget. What can I tell you, Gauche? This is a tough board.

RF

ps: Sure wish I had some idea what all that was about. But since I usually don't, at least it felt familiar. RF

 

[Icingsugar]

What did I say? What did I say? A part of Og's hat. That's what I said.

Gauche

And say it again. No problem for me. Besides, that's a big hat, so I'll bet there's room for cake up there too.

cheers!

 

[Guest]

Gauche:

So, how's life now with all this attention? Must be those yellow stockings (mine are black).

Perdita

 

[ffreak]

Elephant jokes? Do they do elephant jokes in the land of Ogg?

How can you tell the male elephants from the female elephants?

By the color of their socks.

 

[Guest]

socks?

 

[ffreak]

Ok - see that's a female. The fishnet stockings gave it away.

Let me ask, though, do Kings wear fishnet stockings?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[ffreak]

It's my nearsightedness. It took that long to count the threads. Not enough threads, so they must be fishnets. And there were no large rips. Men would generally have no patience and cause big rips from trying to get them on without removing their toes.

What really threw me, though, was I didn't see any strawberry nail polish. (How do you expect them to hide in the strawberry patch?)

 

[ffreak]

Enough with the Shakespearian trumpeting!

 

[Guest]

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by Icingsugar that's a big hat, so I'll bet there's room for cake up there too.

Dear I,
That IS a cake oh Og's head.
MG

 

[Guest]

 

[ffreak]

Man, you gotta sense of humours.

 

[Guest]

 

[oggbashan]

Tights

They don't make black tights large enough for Henry VIII.

I have to keep pulling the crotch up.

And they ladder.

Fishnet tights might look good but I think they would be uncomfortable. At my age comfort is more important.

The false belly takes a six-pack of beer very easily.

Og

 

[Guest]

Re: Tights

What a life you lead, Ogg. You gave me a smile today.

Might you try using a real fishnet?

Perdita

 

[oggbashan]

I spoke to my agent this afternoon.

For my 2005 appearance I have to witness an erotic dance in my honour. I do not think that fishnets are part of the act but I am dubious about the "erotic" dance. It is to be performed by a village's Women's Institute. "Calendar Girls" has a lot to answer for.

If the performers are the same as in 2002 then their average age will be over 60.

I will be wearing armour because this "entertainment" is after a joust which I will have won (of course). I am glad that the joust takes place off stage because the organisers have only one horse available. That horse normally pulls a brewer's dray. A one-horse joust seems just too much for the public to accept.

Yes. I can still ride and carry my shield and lance. I'm not sure that I can still do "tent pegging" with a spear. Once ...

Og

 

[Guest]

 

[MathGirl]

If the performers are the same as in 2002 then their average age will be over 60.

Dear Og,
Perhaps SuppHose makes body stockings.
MG

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . I am dubious about the "erotic" dance. It is to be performed by a village's Women's Institute. . . their average age will be over 60. . .
Og

An incision can be made in the scalp, under the hairline. All skin is drawn up tight until every winkle disappears. Finally, the excess skin is cut away, and sutured over with the hirsute part of the scalp.

One word of caution. Do not panic when all the “erotic dancers” appear to have dimples in their chins, a la Kirk Douglas. This is an expected side effect.

That dimple was formerly a navel.

 

[oggbashan]

Next engagement ...

You can visit the website that started me off as Henry VIII - and buy the video.

http://www.doverpageant.co.uk/

I first appeared in the 2002 pageant. Next one 2005.

Og (Whose RL name and identity does NOT feature)

 

[sweet T]

Re: Tights

They don't make black tights large enough for Henry VIII.

I have to keep pulling the crotch up.

And they ladder.

Fishnet tights might look good but I think they would be uncomfortable. At my age comfort is more important.

The false belly takes a six-pack of beer very easily.

Og

May I suggest, a long tunic or cape and knee highs for comfort..

 

[sweet T]

Ogg is about (if not at this moment) to hit 1000 posts and I am excited about the promising tagline so am posting this thread.

That's all. Plus I like the man and his use of English including his Worst Chain Story, not to mention his cake, his humour, his depthless knowledge of useless trivia, his gentlemanliness and most of all his generosity of spirit.

sincerely, Perdita

Bows before the Noble Scholar, or curtsies if I am feeling particularly fem..