old poems

[WickedEve]

-------------------------------------------------
Just for you, Eve. I remembered this one from elsewhere.

Final Concerns
by WickedEve ©

Will Mother choose my final dress?
She knows black is appropriate
and slimming.
I hope the gray will be touched up
and lines around my mouth smoothed.
Leave my glasses elsewhere
than on my face.
And don't let Aunt Sally sing.
She could wake the dead.

-------------------------------------------------

I knew the hint would work. lol

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Someday, someone will mention one of mine...

 

[WickedEve]

My Hot Wet Tight Pussy
by Lauren.Hynde ©

hot heavy breath,
sweet fragrance
engulfs your senses
as you selfishly
inhale my warmth
and pant deep inside
my steamy
smouldering expectation

wet slippery lips,
liquid pleasure
for your slurping
as you slowly
slide inside me
and gently sip
my gliding dampness,
lick my dripping juice.

tightly gripping
willing prey
for you to tame
or tear apart
shove it up all the way
bang me rough
stretch my being
and hammer me 'til I cum

 

[Lauren Hynde]

 

[Rybka]

...
Okay, let's get back to poetry now that I feel all important. Hey, why hasn't anyone mentioned my older poems? I have, at least, a few good ones. Two? One?

Au contraire, Dear Wicked One. A poem of yours was mentioned as early as Easter Sunday! See Poems on Easter Sunday.

Today brings us 11 new poems. And one “old poem”. It only took a half-a-dozen spins to find a good one, and that is a better average than I often get with the new poems.
The “old” or “spinner” for the day is by someone none of us have every heard of before, a person with the strange name of “WickedEve”. I must have missed it because it was posted before I swam aboard. Posted in 2001, Aging Gracefully? has a 4.67 rating. It is quite a bit different from what WE usually writes now-a-days.

...
Buoyant booty once bounced higher.
I swear sugar, I'm not a liar.
Jack it up with girly girdle.
Jiggles jubilantly with each hurdle
an aging ass makes me jump.
Stretchy spandex saves my rump!

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

Was I bad?

 

[WickedEve]

Au contraire, Dear Wicked One. A poem of yours was mentioned as early as Easter Sunday! See Poems on Easter Sunday.







Regards,                                 Rybka

Oh god, stop mentioning that one! lol Lauren I need to borrow your angry smilie.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Was I bad?

Nah, you reminded me I need to add some artwork to that and turn it into an illustrated poem. Top list, here I come.

 

[WickedEve]

Nah, you reminded me I need to add some artwork to that and turn it into an illustrated poem. Top list, here I come.

Oh, you're the bad one.

 

[Senna Jawa]

I hadn't read this poem before, but it made me glad I decided to look for something special today.

Once Surrounded
by smithpeter ©

there is
[...]

Try harder, Lauren. spin it again. I have never succeeded but I read only about, I don't know, 10% (?) of SP's Literotica outpour and I have given up on him (until somehow I read anything of value from him). This one is his another half-cooked, half-baked, prematurely aborted handicapped fetus. Find something wholesome, ripe, a piece of art, not a half-done exercise spoiled by lack of good taste. Do you want me to comment on this poem more specifically, in toto and about details? It'll be another yawn for me but I can do it for your enlightenment and your poetic betterment. I would support each word of my assessment of the poem.

Lauren:   Just for you, Eve. I remembered this one from elsewhere.


Final Concerns
by WickedEve ©

        Will Mother choose my final dress?
        She knows black is appropriate
        and slimming.
        I hope the gray will be touched up
        and lines around my mouth smoothed.
        Leave my glasses elsewhere
        than on my face.
        And don't let Aunt Sally sing.
        She could wake the dead.

Wow! This time, Lauren-my random spinning wheel, you got a good one! Thank you, Lauren. An excellent poem.

The only thing I would change is the first word of the title. Eve, let it be   Minor concerns,   with strong advantages which, if you want me, I can explain (one is the association with music).

Remark. One may consider the whole poem to be written with the tongue in the cheek, a joke. But I consider it my reader's duty to read poems literally first of all.

This sad poem is true poetry, there is nothing directly from the author. There is even, despite the sadness, a touch of humor in "and slimming". Also in the goodnatured joking about Aunt Sally. At the end we have a rare case of a word play which works for instead of damaging poetry.

Well crafted, consistently written (but for the first word of the title), great small gem.

Senna, if wishy washy statements don't have any value to the authors, are counterproductive and promote mediocrity, you'll have to share with the world someday what do "pitiful junk" "comments" do for anyone, other than make them think the author of these comments is a bitter person whose opinions should be ignored.

At least my comments do not mislead. The author and others can then ask further questions. For each strong poem, as Eve's above, there are fifty lousy poems. It is hard to repeat each time the same remarks about not making up and imposing things on the reader, about bad language, not suitable for poetry, not suitable for prose, not suitable period; about twenty other things again and again. When I came here I was assured about the talent here. Perhaps there is some but with all this wishywashiness it's going down the drain. Only Zhuk and Eve made significant progress. (Zhuk is these days published in a serious haiku ezine; his strong contact with Nature and his willingness to learn are his extra assets). Look at the "Best" poem by Judo. It's a circus, acrobatic achievement which belongs to the games and puzzles department, not to poetry. With a different Literotica athmosphere she would raise her poetic standards. And if she could combine it with her acrobatics, so much better. But she is not even concerned with poetry. You and others will praise her anyway, so why should she bother? (Of course she should know better than that, and her writing is her own responsibility, not yours or mine; nevertheless...).

Regards,

Senna Jawa

PS. It could have been all much simpler. Instead of already three female musketters jumping on me, and instead of that silly fake medalion, SP could just apologize to me and it would be over with and done. But no, you guys prefer to drag it, to get your adrenaline going... I am tired of all this, but sure, be my guest, go on and on and keep praising lousy "poetry", let it creep into your work too.

 

[Rybka]

GLAD YOU'RE FEELING BETTER!

Try harder, Lauren. spin it again. I have never succeeded but I read only about, I don't know, 10% (?) of SP's Literotica outpour and I have given up on him (until somehow I read anything of value from him). This one is his another half-cooked, half-baked, prematurely aborted handicapped fetus. Find something wholesome, ripe, a piece of art, not a half-done exercise spoiled by lack of good taste. Do you want me to comment on this poem more specifically, in toto and about details? It'll be another yawn for me but I can do it for your enlightenment and your poetic betterment. I would support each word of my assessment of the poem.
...

Gee, Senna J. It is nice to see that you have regained your acerbic tounge!
I can't say that I totally agree with you on this one. At least here I don't have to scratch my head and wonder if there is a connection between the stanzas, or if I am reading several different short poems under one title. I really like a lot of 03sp/Sp's writing, but there are many poems that I seem to miss in entirety, although he has a devoted following here.

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Guest]

.

 

[Rybka]

I will not offer apology for simply being,
to simply place words and then be stoned
is confusing to me

"A poem should not mean
But be."

I meant no disrespect 03sp. You write some beautiful lines. It is just that sometimes I cannot see how all of the poem is internally related. I run into a certain "disjointedness" that baffles me.


Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Guest]

has anyone noticed some old poems floating around here?

 

[Cordelia]

Bump...

I thought I'd spin a couple poems because there hasn't been enough really good stuff lately.

~~~~~~~

Non-erotic poems spinning brought this:

buyer beware by oxalis

do employ this moral

only,
human life form beware

the sweet silver kiss
of internet is knives

tickle tips
meat gravy

those red hot shoes
angel eye and other eye

ground down point
don’t mess, much

who care
what you drive

what sun
burns you

05/31/03
~~~~~~~

Erotic poems spinning gave me this:

October by Lauren.Hynde

No longer silk, it's October clouds
the interior warmth of your thighs;
my tongue, a vessel advancing through the night
of perilous channels with familiar Hispanic names,
the scent of ravenous sea unfolds in velvet,
in my mouth, shattered the mystery of the algae;
your body, below, welcomes rain and breath and dawn.
And when nautical ventures become faith,
when the altar becomes navigable
despite the rain and thunder, or because,
when the more I sink into your skin,
the more I find, and learn, and mix,
on the littoral crest suddenly enhanced,
the ritual of scream, the ritual of moan,
and you realize this homage's for you
I finally possess you, I finally reduce you
to a glove, a sponge, a goddess, a ship.

10/04/02
~~~~~~~

Enjoy....again


Cordelia

 

[HomerPindar]

I think I see the point about the spinner being evil - whomever it was who said that earlier.

But, spun I have, and freshly dizzy I offer:

Snow Is A Thief
by MyOpinion ©

Snow, he is a thief
___Who sneaks at night
______about my house;
you’ll see.

Before the light
______Of dawn is bright…

It’s there to see
How skilled he be

______My lawn is gone by him!



Although, I'm not so certain snow couldn't be a female too.

HomerPindar

 

[oxalis]

new is related to old

I fear the Spinner
its intimidation
its power to lottery my destiny
so
with wrists sexually bound
at my behind she orders
my spitting
of I Ching coins
three times six
till what she wants
comes up

copper penny smile
lasts for days

 

[daisie]

Re: Old Stuff

Finally, a poem that has never really gotten its due here--a lovely sleeper of a poem by my pal daisy, who is so talented, and who here takes a memory-laden walk from innocence to experience and back again.

It's mystery you've lost.
You've read the books
perfected technique;
you know every inch of man or woman
or both.

But remember back then
when, under his warm, starched white
button-down dress shirt
behind the tie where your hand crept
during the slow dance
when you couldn't imagine the consequences
of opening a button and sliding inside.

Remember, girls?

I hate to bump this thread for something so silly as a thanks, but what the hell. Thanks, Angie.

God, that poem still makes me hurt.

D

 

[champagne1982]

an unknown of worthiness found by another unknown

In the original spirit of the thread I shall endeavour to share some poems I found through the story spinner.
I am not known here, I hope you forgive me my impertinence.
I think that some of you are so bogged down by personal favourites and dislikes that you may overlook some worthy poets. So, my offerings-

This person isn't a friend of mine. I don't neccessarily even like this poem, but often's been said, (sic)"It made me smile, thus it's worthwhile..";

When My Soul Becomes Pure Sensation by Charli Siebert ©

"The passion that runs through me
is flowing like a thin, wet, moisture
dripping from my lips.
It's like a fucking orgasm
throbbing and pulsating
from the most sensitive parts of my body. ..."

and from the Non-Erotic category I find I like the imagery;

Clouds of Snow by MyEros333 ©

Culled stratospheric cotton
darkened with borne lode
inner core rimed of frost
crafting white lacework within
gathering stitching releasing dwindling
May I see you again another day?
May I feel your sweetest designs upon my lips again?
I wait 'til then

Have a wonderful day!

Carrie
My Scribbles

 

[Cordelia]

Welcome!

Good to see you on the poetry boards, Carrie.

Please keep giving us your opinions and thoughts and poetry!


Cordelia

 

[champagne1982]

June 30th '03

Today in the Erotic Poems category I discovered this luscious piece:

Canvas by DeadlyNyghtshayde ©

"...
My hands shake as I hold your hand;
Cup your chin
to hold your face still,
Even though it is I who quivers
as the longing races through me.
..."

I enjoyed it and lucked out after only reading 6 bits of mediocrity. I hope I enjoy the same luck in the Non-Erotic Poems lists.

The Tides 5 by JUDO ©

"...
His beak points sunward and what does he see?
Frozen pale waves of sand to the horizon,
Weeds hiding mice, rabbits and nests --
A curious fool, sitting naked in a spot of light.

He hovers, descending to the empty, wide shore.
Feet touch, once, then twice and settle.
He shivers, tucking wings ,downy quills puff,
Squatting to warm his legs from the damp.
..."

I almost felt sorry for the shivery gull. Almost-.

Carrie
My Scribbles

"In your light, I learned how to love.
In your beauty, how to make poems.
You dance inside my chest where no one sees you,
But sometimes I do and that sight becomes this art." -- Jeladdin Rumi

( I edited because I forgot to preview my message )