One month sober today!

congratulations

Here's another high five. Keep it going. And, let me add, a recommendation that you investigate the 12 step process or counseling. My observation is that those in the "process" are happier and more content than dry drunks.
 
Here's another high five. Keep it going. And, let me add, a recommendation that you investigate the 12 step process or counseling. My observation is that those in the "process" are happier and more content than dry drunks.

I'm not sure what you mean here. Aren't all former drunks "dry drunks"? I have to repeat myself at a little past the 2 month mark, it seems so easy, but my life right now is like living my dreams. I fear that when the tough times come, I will relapse. I went out with some of the women from school last weekend and it's funny because I was the only sober one there and you realize how silly drunk people look to sober people. Plus they say stuff they shouldn't ;). Thanks for the continued encouragement, it means more than you know. :kiss::rose::heart:
 
Congratulations. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will be better every step.
 
First things first - a big congratulations to you! 30 days sober is great! :nana:

... I fear that when the tough times come, I will relapse...

This is where AA or another recovery program would be tremendously helpful. The 12 steps won't get you sober. Working the 12 steps assumes you're sober, if only for a little bit. The 12 steps are how we STAY sober. Even during the tough times.

That said, I didn't walk into my first meeting on a winning streak. I suspect many people had the same experience. If I was having good times, I wouldn't have been ready to hear the message. However if I had gone to some meetings during those good times, if only just to sit & listen, it wouldn't have hurt me a bit...

Kim, you rock. I wish you all the best! :cool:
 
I hope this isn't too self aggrandizing, but I'm going to bump this post to celebrate 90 days sober. I've actually started having one glass of wine with dinner when I am out with Sir G and others. He has a high profile sales type job and he dines out 3-4 nights a week with co-workers and clients and when I am with him, I would get condescending looks from people if I didn't have anything at all to drink with dinner, so I asked Sir permission and he now lets me have one glass of wine with dinner or at a party. No more than one glass and no booze whatsoever. Now I can have a glass of wine and compliment the hosts on how good the wine is. I mostly just drink a little bit of it and let it sit so noone offers to refill it for me. I know it sounds superficial, but I want to make him look good. In a way, it's just like I wouldn't go out to these fancy soriees in inappropriate attire.

Otherwise things could not be possibly be going any better. I don't know if not drinking is part of it, but I have finally lost the extra weight I have been carrying around for 17 years. I actually have a chin line again! My boobs shrank a tiny bit too :(. Per Sir's instructions, my hair is fairly long now and I got it cut the way he wanted. I think I look somewhat Victoria Beckham (without the hideous fake boobs and fake tan).

I am a much better parent too, my children are so much happier with their "new" Mom. My ex is doing better as well with a very nice girlfriend, so even though the divore was hardest on them, at least things are improving all around.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. :rose::kiss::cattail:
 
Wow, 90 days is great. And it sure doesn't hurt to see other good changes that might be related. Personally, I think you should post any time you have news like this. :nana: (sorry, no thumbs up smilie)
 
Wow, 90 days is great. And it sure doesn't hurt to see other good changes that might be related. Personally, I think you should post any time you have news like this. :nana: (sorry, no thumbs up smilie)

Thanks DVS and everyone. I could post a lot about how great my life is now, but I somehow think it is poor etiquitte to come to a forum and brag. Besides, I'm superstitious that if I gloat, things will go badly. One day at a time. :kiss:
 
Fuckin' A! Congratulations on your sobriety! Stay strong.
PS: My understanding of a dry drunk in someone who no longer drinks but who hasn't dealt with the underlying emotions, issues, etc... causing them to want to escape by abusing alcohol. A 12-steper who doesn't, or hasn't, really walked the walk...
Today is all we have.
 
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I hope this isn't too self aggrandizing, but I'm going to bump this post to celebrate 90 days sober. I've actually started having one glass of wine with dinner when I am out with Sir G and others. He has a high profile sales type job and he dines out 3-4 nights a week with co-workers and clients and when I am with him, I would get condescending looks from people if I didn't have anything at all to drink with dinner, so I asked Sir permission and he now lets me have one glass of wine with dinner or at a party. No more than one glass and no booze whatsoever. Now I can have a glass of wine and compliment the hosts on how good the wine is. I mostly just drink a little bit of it and let it sit so noone offers to refill it for me. I know it sounds superficial, but I want to make him look good. In a way, it's just like I wouldn't go out to these fancy soriees in inappropriate attire.

Otherwise things could not be possibly be going any better. I don't know if not drinking is part of it, but I have finally lost the extra weight I have been carrying around for 17 years. I actually have a chin line again! My boobs shrank a tiny bit too :(. Per Sir's instructions, my hair is fairly long now and I got it cut the way he wanted. I think I look somewhat Victoria Beckham (without the hideous fake boobs and fake tan).

I am a much better parent too, my children are so much happier with their "new" Mom. My ex is doing better as well with a very nice girlfriend, so even though the divore was hardest on them, at least things are improving all around.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. :rose::kiss::cattail:
Awesome to hear you are doing so well - congrats! I would like to add though - for the benefit of some who might be reading this and struggling with an addiction issue (and I say this coming with 10 years of sobriety, fwiw) that for many - perhaps most - the only way for them to go forward is with abstinence and not having occasional wine/bong hits/bumps/etc. As with so much in life, we are all unique as our paths must be -- but having seen more than a few friends suffer from addiction for extra years trying to moderate intake; and even die trying to just have a drink or two from time to time before falling into full-fledge benders; I just want to say that moderation may not be an answer for some.
 
Awesome to hear you are doing so well - congrats! I would like to add though - for the benefit of some who might be reading this and struggling with an addiction issue (and I say this coming with 10 years of sobriety, fwiw) that for many - perhaps most - the only way for them to go forward is with abstinence and not having occasional wine/bong hits/bumps/etc. As with so much in life, we are all unique as our paths must be -- but having seen more than a few friends suffer from addiction for extra years trying to moderate intake; and even die trying to just have a drink or two from time to time before falling into full-fledge benders; I just want to say that moderation may not be an answer for some.

Thank you for your input and congrats on 10 years. My thoughts, and they are worth what you are paying for them, is that it won't be a couple of sips of wine that will do me in. That's not a problem at all. What could send me into a tailspin is life. If Sir dumped me, or a problem with my children or whatever. That's what I fear will send me back to my old friend, Jim Beam. It's only been three months and the fear is ever so slowly subsiding and my confidence is building. As strange as it may seem as a sub, I am growing stronger as a person as my relationship with Sir deepens. He loves and respects me and as much as he is the absolutely the boss, he loves me for who I am :heart:, not what he hopes or fantisizes about. He likes the flawed, goofy, nerdy Kim with poor judgement. I make him a better man and he knows that too. OK, sorry for that last part. Just my thoughts. :kiss:
 
That is great news and so happy for you! My comments were only to share for those who might have needed to read them...if you know what I mean :) Just want those who need to put the bottle down to know that it is ok to go that road no matter how hard it might be! Keep on keepin' on Kim - Namaste!
 
Stay strong and committed to the path you need to follow for your kids, Sir G and yourself, one step at a time, one day at a time. They are there for you, as are we.
 
Stay strong and committed to the path you need to follow for your kids, Sir G and yourself, one step at a time, one day at a time. They are there for you, as are we.

Thank you Sir Winston. In today's culture it is all too easy to wallow in self pity and become self-absorbed. I am so grateful to Sir G, one Saturday night I went to his house when it was my weekend with my kids (they are more than old enough to stay home alone). He gave me, perhaps, my worst punishment ever and sent me home to be with my kids :heart:. After what I put my ex-husband through, I don't deserve a happy ending. Thanks for the words of encouragement, they do help! :kiss::cattail:
 
After what I put my ex-husband through, I don't deserve a happy ending.
We all make mistakes; we all do things we shouldn't. NONE of us are or ever will be perfect. That doesn't mean we don't deserve a happy ending, especially if we recognize, acknowledge and feel remorse for the things we do wrong, and attempt to correct either those things or the behaviors that created them.
 
We all make mistakes; we all do things we shouldn't. NONE of us are or ever will be perfect. That doesn't mean we don't deserve a happy ending, especially if we recognize, acknowledge and feel remorse for the things we do wrong, and attempt to correct either those things or the behaviors that created them.

Well today makes 4 months! I still have ups and downs and the subject above is weighing heavily on me. Oddly enough, it was actually looking at some of Shankara's pictures that led me to an epiphany of how wretched I was to my husband. I know I need to ask him to forgive me, but I just can't, but I'm working on it. Other than that, life is grand! Thanks for the kind words Sir Winston. :kiss::heart:
 
Well today makes 4 months! I still have ups and downs and the subject above is weighing heavily on me. Oddly enough, it was actually looking at some of Shankara's pictures that led me to an epiphany of how wretched I was to my husband. I know I need to ask him to forgive me, but I just can't, but I'm working on it. Other than that, life is grand! Thanks for the kind words Sir Winston. :kiss::heart:
Addiction makes us do things we wouldn't normally do. There should be no need for forgiveness. Just keep working on healing yourself. Other things will heal themselves, in time.
 
I quit drinking on the 27th of August, 1996, and quit smoking on the 18th of September , 2008. But I didn't quit the smoking in time.
 
I quit drinking on the 27th of August, 1996, and quit smoking on the 18th of September , 2008. But I didn't quit the smoking in time.

I'm glad to hear you stopped smoking and drinking, I'm afraid what your alluding to is that you have cancer, I hope I'm wrong. :heart:
 
Addiction makes us do things we wouldn't normally do. There should be no need for forgiveness. Just keep working on healing yourself. Other things will heal themselves, in time.

Well DVS, you're too kind, literally. I can't blame the booze for the horrible things I did to my husband and consequently, my family. I know I owe him an apology, at the very least. Even saying all that, I'm still mad at him for not being the man I hoped he would become. How many times have women said that :rolleyes:? Sir has a way for me to make a form of restitution (NO, it doesn't involve sex, Sir doesn't share ;)). I still amaze myself that after all I did to him and put him through, I'm still mad at him. :rose::heart::rose:
 
Congrats. The wife has been sober for 6 years. It takes a lot of hard work and determination, but sober life trumps the alternative.
 
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