Partners Past? What have you been told?

[InterestingOne]

I just had this conversation with a new partner and it actually ruined things for me. We are old enough to have past of some sort. I don't care if you've had 2 or 200 partners as long as we are the same page as far as who we are seeing currently. Those other people are important in the context of they made you the person you are now, but I don't need to know specifics unless you want to share something that excited you. Knowing a number benefits me not and I don't keep track of mine. The only people who want to know numbers, imo are people who are very insecure.

If I like you enough to sleep with you, rest assured that my focus is on you. That no matter how many dicks I've seen or experienced- yours is my current favorite and the most appealing thing ever because it's attached to you. If you can't trust that- then i'm not sure what we are doing here.

Also most people who asked me this have some sort of weird slut shamey nonsense they've cooked up in their heads that women should have x amount of partners. It's only useful if you are interesting in judging someone. You can't convince me otherwise. If you ask me about experiences sure valid. If you ask me a number its all about making a judgement on past actions. These conversations benefit no one. Case in point- new guy totally ruined excellent sex and a good connection by introducing this nonsense. I don't have the patience for it anymore.

Well said. I don't know what anyone gets out of knowing.

 

[lovecraft68]

Cold male insecurity. The guy that needs to know how many is the same guy who needs you to tell him he's the best and don't worry about size, he has plenty

The number of actual men in our society is a low number because the rest, regardless of age, are no more than little boys.

 

[butters]

Never believe what a woman tells you about number of partners.

that's sad. some of us are actually perfectly able to tell the truth

i really don't want to know blow by blow accounts of his previous sexual partners or discuss my own in detail... not because of how many, but because of the people they were attached to, and one more than the others... the psycho.

 

[gtnlynn]

My partner's past occurred when we were dating but going to different colleges. She dated others, and I knew she was fooling around. I wasn't sure she was having sex with them. After we married, she decided to tell all (or almost all). So I think I know almost everything about her past sex life.

 

[April602]

that's sad. some of us are actually perfectly able to tell the truth

i really don't want to know blow by blow accounts of his previous sexual partners or discuss my own in detail... not because of how many, but because of the people they were attached to, and one more than the others... the psycho.

Always love to read a good psycho story…do tell.

 

[April602]

My partner's past occurred when we were dating but going to different colleges. She dated others, and I knew she was fooling around. I wasn't sure she was having sex with them. After we married, she decided to tell all (or almost all). So I think I know almost everything about her past sex life.

Nice that she admitted to dating others. I am sure she was having se with them also, which isn’t a bad thing. College is a place of education (sexual also). The icing on the cake is that she chose you and married you. Congrats.

 

[gtnlynn]

Nice that she admitted to dating others. I am sure she was having se with them also, which isn’t a bad thing. College is a place of education (sexual also). The icing on the cake is that she chose you and married you. Congrats.

She made it clear to her sex partners that she was committed to me. I met most of them. If they got serious, she dumped them. They were friends with benefits before the phrase was invented, I suppose.

 

[shizzz]

I wouldn’t care about the number. Or the performance or the size of her other lovers as long as she wanted mine readily and without me engaging all the time.

So I stopped, she has sought me out 3 times in 4 months.

So I got questions…

 

[April602]

I wouldn’t care about the number. Or the performance or the size of her other lovers as long as she wanted mine readily and without me engaging all the time.

So I stopped, she has sought me out 3 times in 4 months.

So I got questions…

So do you think she is seeing other men? I don’t know your ages but maybe she is getting disinterested? You married or is this a gf?

 

[shizzz]

So do you think she is seeing other men? I don’t know your ages but maybe she is getting disinterested? You married or is this a gf?

Married. I think she is more excited by other men and has to ‘try’ with me.

 

[April602]

It’s only natural to be excited about new relationships. I know I am when I meet a new man.
Usually when I’m in a new relationship the sex with my husband drops off dramatically. We have gone without sex for long periods of time. But then again we have been married a long time also. I know he has his suspicions but no longer asks…like you.

 

[shizzz]

It’s only natural to be excited about new relationships. I know I am when I meet a new man.
Usually when I’m in a new relationship the sex with my husband drops off dramatically. We have gone without sex for long periods of time. But then again we have been married a long time also. I know he has his suspicions but no longer asks…like you.

What’s my biggest tell or way to find out if she has. Every time I ask about her lack of interest I am ways get.” It’s her not me”

 

[TwinkleStars]

Why the fuck would anyone want to know this???? I ask sexual history such as: have you used a condom, been tested, have any STDS. I don't need a stupid number and neither does the other person. Be safe and smart about sex.

I get asked how many times I orgasmed more then I get asked about fuck numbers.

 

[shizzz]

Why the fuck would anyone want to know this???? I ask sexual history such as: have you used a condom, been tested, have any STDS. I don't need a stupid number and neither does the other person. Be safe and smart about sex.

I get asked how many times I orgasmed more then I get asked about fuck numbers.

True. It’s for the self conscious. Absolute crutch. If I was confident why would I care?

I wouldn’t. But I’m not….so I do.

 

[rwk77la]

Never believe what a woman tells you about number of partners.

That's very cynical. I have open and honest communication with my girl, we don't lie.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I was told if they didn’t make you orgasm then it doesn’t count.

 

[April602]

I was told if they didn’t make you orgasm then it doesn’t count.

Lol I go by the Clinton version of sex but I like yours much better. Damn I’m almost a virgin now lol

 

[uncle easy]

My wife is a beautiful and well built woman. We are the old couple that lives down on the corner. She had a very active sex life before we met. I had to wait for her to turn eighteen to marry her. We got into the swinging life in the late sixties. She is open to me about her past. She says she cannot remember how many she had sex with before me,,, but it was many. She has never hid the things she has done from me. As I am writing this she is with one of her past female lovers . Her husband died two months ago and she is really taking it hard. It will probably just be a visit as it has been several years since they have had sex. If they do anything I will be told soon. Enough said

 

[April602]

My wife is a beautiful and well built woman. We are the old couple that lives down on the corner. She had a very active sex life before we met. I had to wait for her to turn eighteen to marry her. We got into the swinging life in the late sixties. She is open to me about her past. She says she cannot remember how many she had sex with before me,,, but it was many. She has never hid the things she has done from me. As I am writing this she is with one of her past female lovers . Her husband died two months ago and she is really taking it hard. It will probably just be a visit as it has been several years since they have had sex. If they do anything I will be told soon. Enough said

Love your name…uncle easy…lol
nice you have that open relationship

 

[shizzz]

My big problem is ‘did they settle for me’. Everyone has a past. Then they pick someone. Is that settling or finding the one?

To make this worse, what if you are in long term relationship. They call for a break because they miss that ‘feeling and excitement’

Then after 6 months of a couple other boyfriends and who knows on the hook ups. She comes back?

But when she comes back there is no excitement for me. I’m just the safe choice.

 

[Bdm20]

I was told if they didn’t make you orgasm then it doesn’t count.

Interesting perspective. Using that logic, my wife hasn’t had four times as many lovers as I’ve had. I’ve had twice as many as she’s had! And no, I did not ask her number because I was insecure. I asked it because it brings me joy that she was able to experience all that “first time” excitement and I love hearing her tell her tales.

 

[Wildfly11]

I have asked my wife and she has shared some interesting stories but I am sure she left some out lol. I find it interesting that she has never asked me about my past sexual experiences. I guess she doesn't care and the details aren't of sexual interest to her or a turn on. Not sure if this is common or not.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I got together with my wife in high school. And we come from the same neighbourhood. So I know she only had sex with one guy before. But it’s the amount of men that fucked her after we got together that’s in question.

A few years into our marriage, she cheated with another man. Over the past few years, she confessed to there being two other men she spread her legs for during that same time period. She said that’s it. But I have reason to believe there were more. I feel she was going through a phase where she was making up for limited experience before dedicating herself to monogamy with me. I hope one day she gets past what’s holding her back. And she tells me exactly how many men there were. And the details of how and where they fucked her!

Why will the number and location matter to you?
Do you want her to be with other men? Do you like that she gets pleasure elsewhere to fill in the gaps of your sexual relationship?

Consider forgetting the past and focus on the future. If you support her open sexuality, tell her. Support her. Find a way to be a part of things going forward.
The past is behind you. Embrace this lifestyle if it works for you. Be sure she has a safe place to unpack and share her thoughts.
You both could find great pleasure on a whole new level this way.

 

[emme8]

I do not think it is only insecurity that makes guys wonder about our numbers. Sometimes they really get off hearing about our exploits. Or at least Bob loves hearing about mine. And unfortunately few of mine are worthy of telling him about.
But only 2 count for me before Bob. The guy I gave my virginity to and the guy I dated for 3 years. The rest were mistakes I would rather not remember. Heck, even though I am certain I gave my virginity to Will, I don't remember any details about it.

I am insecure sometimes and I do need the ego boosts. I do like to hear about Bob's previous lovers. Especially the girl he was dating when he met me, his "psycho chick" that couldn't get enough sex from him.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I am honestly not that interested in my partners past. But if my partner wants to know I am open and honest about my past. Even the parts that I am not proud of, the mistakes I have made, the things I may regret.