Perverted or normal?

[Hans101]

If you are perverted for wanting to see them, what does that make her for actually creating them?

 

[DarkPleasures]

If you are perverted for wanting to see them, what does that make her for actually creating them?

I wondered that, too. If those were her words, then why is she so two-faced and judgemental of him?

 

[Jenny17]

Hello everyone,
I have a question if anyone would like to comment as I am a little confused.

I am happily married (9 years now), prior to getting married, my wife was in two pornographic films.

How did you find that in first place?

Now, after 9 years leave it buried deep in the past. I would not let you to see it either.

 

[njlauren]

I would guess she was embarrassed by having done them, I have met people who have worked in the industry and in many cases the people are embarrassed later for having done them, especially as they are likely low budget kinds of films.

I don't know the likelihood of the surfacing during a campaign, depending on how long ago those were done they probably are pretty obscure now, relegated to attics and such a long time ago. If you are thinking of running for an office, I would ask her in general terms if those are the only things you would have to worry about (don't ask for details), those movies she did. If those are the only things then unless the old boyfriend tries to blackmail you, it prob isn't likely it would come up I would guess.

I think her reaction says a lot about what she feels about you, she came clean and warned you about what she had done, which means she really cares for you, and quite frankly if she wasn't embarrassed she wouldn't have that kind of reaction, she would have just kept quiet IMO.

 

[BossySon21a]

Best advice I suspect is to conquer your curiosity and let it go. Being curious is natural, the simple fact of the curiosity does not make you a pervert. But lots of natural things are still not good to indulge. There are so many ways this could go wrong for you and her.

You can't be sure how you'd react to actually seeing it. Maybe you'd not be bothered, but maybe you would, and once you saw it you could not 'unsee' it if it did bother you. Or if you saw her do something you wish she would do with you, and won't do, that might become an issue too. You just don't know how you'd react to the actuality of it, as opposed to the idea or mental image of it.

You already know that she doesn't want you to see it, so there's that issue.

This is an unexploded bomb and you can't control where the fallout might go if you set it off. Some questions are simply best left unanswered, even if the curiosity is natural and normal. The answer may not be something you like, and some mistakes can't be undone...as you wife could tell you, given how she apparently feels about the films.

 

[ericahope]

I don't think it's perverted to want to see the films. But if she doesn't want you to watch them you should respect her wishes. If she says "no" don't pressure her.

Erica

Hello everyone,
I have a question if anyone would like to comment as I am a little confused.

I am happily married (9 years now), prior to getting married, my wife was in two pornographic films. I have mentioned to here that I would like to see the films, but she responds that in no way does she want me to see the films and that I am perverted for wanting to.

I have always considered myself fairly conservative, is it perverted to want to see the films? They were of her before we were together so I do not have anything to be jealous of?!?
Your thoughts?
Thanks,

 

[maxshela]

Hello everyone,
I have a question if anyone would like to comment as I am a little confused.

I am happily married (9 years now), prior to getting married, my wife was in two pornographic films. I have mentioned to here that I would like to see the films, but she responds that in no way does she want me to see the films and that I am perverted for wanting to.

I have always considered myself fairly conservative, is it perverted to want to see the films? They were of her before we were together so I do not have anything to be jealous of?!?
Your thoughts?
Thanks,

That is strange to me. Have you ask her about it, remind her that she use to like porn?

 

[LordofBlackbirds]

I don't think you're being a pervert my friend. It's no crime to want to see what she was like back when she made the films. If anything, I'd think that it was curiosity over being perverted. Even if she is ashamed of doing it, you're married to her and we all know you wouldn't judge her or anything. I think it's totally normal. If my woman had been in a porn in the past, I'd want to see it too

 

[kcandtl]

Thanks everyone for the comments.

The way she told me about them... I am fairly god at my job and was / am considering running for an elected position (not federal only state), and she said she had too many skeletons in the closet for me to do that and she does not want to live a "public" life. Then she told me that her boyfriend at the time talked her into making the movies. I know the movie involved him and another guy, and that is about all I know.

When I would probe about it she would call me perverted for wanted to see her with another guy on film. After reading, I understand that I was being selfish by asking her about it and I had not considered the bad memories I have brought back for her. My first desire in seeing the movies was to see just how bad (embarrassing) can they be. Are they to the point that I could not run for public office? Of course there is a small part of me that does want to see them, see what she did how she did it (I know that is a little sad on my part).

Another thought I had was if she would at least tell me the production company contact a lawyer and purchase the rights to the films and have the company sign a nondisclosure agreement that the films ever existed.

I am probably posting too much personal stuff here, but in all honesty there is no way I could discuss this with coworkers.

Thank you for your time,
Gokor

Considering running for offfice? Effing forget it. You have no way of knowing to what depths a rival will go to gain power, however limited. (This would be positively comical if you were talking about, say, a school board position.) Do you really want to expose her to that risk to pursue your own ambition?

Be happy that your sweetie is willing to tell you what happened in the first place, and let it go at that. If she wants to leave it behind, the gentlemanly thing to do is forget it and enjoy her for everything else for which you married her in the first place.

PS - We don't have anything against people running for office; somebody has to do it. As two people with a lot of gov'\t service under our belts, we're just deeply cynical about the whole exercise. Too many people expose their families to too much pain for no apparent reason...why not focus your energy on the making people you love happy? Maybe we'd all be better off is that was the priority.