StrangeLife
Eater of beef
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2013
- Posts
- 3,757
Thanks for reviving an interesting old thread 
It's educational reading and personally I found myself resonating with many of the posts - especially the one from Purple Tiara...
Numbers aside - when a story starts out with a physical description it completely breaks the big exposition rule of show, don't tell. Including actual numbers in the list makes it even worse and gives you the feeling that you're reading a Sears catalogue or browsing the selection at a horse auction. Details of what a person looks like should be given as part of the story in a relevant setting, e.g...
"As she unclasped her bra I was treated to the awesome sight of her ample bosom being freed from it's confinement and descending over my face like an avalanche....bla bla bla..."
There is nothing wrong with physically describing people in a story, but please at least try integrating it into the tale somehow instead of killing the mood at the very beginning with a spec. sheet like a car.
Even specific number can be introduced in an elegant way. For instance...
"I always envied you man. Lisa boobs are effin' awesome. What are they? Like 44DD's or somethin'?"
"Triple D's actually," George replied with a smile. "I tricked her into measuring them last year cause I was getting her lingerie for Christmas."
Irrelevant information
Another feature of some stories that I don't care much for is irrelevant information. The best example is wasting half a page with a flashback to...
"I met my wife back in high school at Sarah's party. I was immediately attracted... bla bla bla..."
This one is a bit tricky though because it can be a great way of establishing the relationship dynamics or making the relationship seem more three dimensional, but all too often flashbacks like these are used as a filler and just breaks the flow of the story without adding anything.
Disclaimers
Finally - and I know some will disagree with me here - I don't like disclaimers in the beginning of the story. Y'know like...
This story is purely fictional and about male submission, so if you don't like that please stop reading now. No gerbils were harmed during the writing of this tale. This is my first attempt at this genre so please be gentle. I fund this old story in the back of my drawer. I apologise in advance for my poor spelling. I'm trying to express... bla bla bla...
By starting his story with an apology to the readers the author is essentially telling us that he himself believes it to be shit and that I'll probably hate it. And if that's the case why should I even waste the time in the first place? If not even the salesman believes in his own product, surely it must be of very poor quality, right?
So c'mon - don't apologise in advance for your work. Stand by what you do and own whatever critique you get.
Some writers are using the disclaimer as a way of categorising their work, e.g...
"This is a cuckold story so don't read on if you don't like these... bla bla bla..."
I assume in an attempt to avoid getting massively voted down by angry readers who got their erections killed by an unexpected turn in the story.
Newsflash: It doesn't work.
They'll mark you down anyway - they'll just do it after having read the disclaimer instead of after having read the story. And if they're going to bash you regardless of what you do, why not take up as much of their time as you can as payback?
Finally a disclaimer commits the sin of breaking down the fourth wall and thus the author seriously erodes the authenticity and immersibility of the story. Sure it likely is a work of fiction - most Lit stories are - but a good author is able to make his characters come alive and create a world that feels real in the mind of the reader.
Well, unless he begins every story by spelling out in neon that...
"This is a work of fiction and any resemblance with actual people is purely coincidental... bla bla bla..."
In other words, you just worked your posterior off creating a credible story populated by living characters in an authentic setting, and then you kill the illusion completely before I even get a chance to emerge myself in your world. Thanks to your disclaimer I'm now reading your story with the certainty lodged in my mind that it's a work of total fiction (cause you just told me). In other words, with a simple disclaimer you just killed that authenticity that you worked so hard to create before.
Imagine a shiny red Ferrari 458 - a true automotive work of art where every curve has been meticulously designed and crafted by the designers to create an awesome looking car. Now imagine a shiny red Ferrari 458 with a big yellow sticker on the hood saying "This car is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to other cars is purely coincidental... bla bla bla..."
It's educational reading and personally I found myself resonating with many of the posts - especially the one from Purple Tiara...
Numbers aside - when a story starts out with a physical description it completely breaks the big exposition rule of show, don't tell. Including actual numbers in the list makes it even worse and gives you the feeling that you're reading a Sears catalogue or browsing the selection at a horse auction. Details of what a person looks like should be given as part of the story in a relevant setting, e.g...
"As she unclasped her bra I was treated to the awesome sight of her ample bosom being freed from it's confinement and descending over my face like an avalanche....bla bla bla..."
There is nothing wrong with physically describing people in a story, but please at least try integrating it into the tale somehow instead of killing the mood at the very beginning with a spec. sheet like a car.
Even specific number can be introduced in an elegant way. For instance...
"I always envied you man. Lisa boobs are effin' awesome. What are they? Like 44DD's or somethin'?"
"Triple D's actually," George replied with a smile. "I tricked her into measuring them last year cause I was getting her lingerie for Christmas."
Irrelevant information
Another feature of some stories that I don't care much for is irrelevant information. The best example is wasting half a page with a flashback to...
"I met my wife back in high school at Sarah's party. I was immediately attracted... bla bla bla..."
This one is a bit tricky though because it can be a great way of establishing the relationship dynamics or making the relationship seem more three dimensional, but all too often flashbacks like these are used as a filler and just breaks the flow of the story without adding anything.
Disclaimers
Finally - and I know some will disagree with me here - I don't like disclaimers in the beginning of the story. Y'know like...
This story is purely fictional and about male submission, so if you don't like that please stop reading now. No gerbils were harmed during the writing of this tale. This is my first attempt at this genre so please be gentle. I fund this old story in the back of my drawer. I apologise in advance for my poor spelling. I'm trying to express... bla bla bla...
By starting his story with an apology to the readers the author is essentially telling us that he himself believes it to be shit and that I'll probably hate it. And if that's the case why should I even waste the time in the first place? If not even the salesman believes in his own product, surely it must be of very poor quality, right?
So c'mon - don't apologise in advance for your work. Stand by what you do and own whatever critique you get.
Some writers are using the disclaimer as a way of categorising their work, e.g...
"This is a cuckold story so don't read on if you don't like these... bla bla bla..."
I assume in an attempt to avoid getting massively voted down by angry readers who got their erections killed by an unexpected turn in the story.
Newsflash: It doesn't work.
They'll mark you down anyway - they'll just do it after having read the disclaimer instead of after having read the story. And if they're going to bash you regardless of what you do, why not take up as much of their time as you can as payback?
Finally a disclaimer commits the sin of breaking down the fourth wall and thus the author seriously erodes the authenticity and immersibility of the story. Sure it likely is a work of fiction - most Lit stories are - but a good author is able to make his characters come alive and create a world that feels real in the mind of the reader.
Well, unless he begins every story by spelling out in neon that...
"This is a work of fiction and any resemblance with actual people is purely coincidental... bla bla bla..."
In other words, you just worked your posterior off creating a credible story populated by living characters in an authentic setting, and then you kill the illusion completely before I even get a chance to emerge myself in your world. Thanks to your disclaimer I'm now reading your story with the certainty lodged in my mind that it's a work of total fiction (cause you just told me). In other words, with a simple disclaimer you just killed that authenticity that you worked so hard to create before.
Imagine a shiny red Ferrari 458 - a true automotive work of art where every curve has been meticulously designed and crafted by the designers to create an awesome looking car. Now imagine a shiny red Ferrari 458 with a big yellow sticker on the hood saying "This car is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to other cars is purely coincidental... bla bla bla..."
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