Please Give Me Some Feedback And A Direction

[KarennaC]

I agree about saying "me and my girlfriend" in this piece. No, it's not grammatically correct, but it is consistent with the narrator's voice.

As for where to go with it, I may be just weird, but I'd have them do a DP, his real cock and the dildo cock. How many men can say they fucked both their woman's holes at the same time with their own cock? lol

 

[sr71plt]

All of your foul language and name calling aside, Elfin and Jenny (and friends--who will show up at any minute now), I reiterate that whenever I see you going beyond your knowledge base on writing and giving bum advice in feedback on this board, I will point to it. (And everyone, including the original requester for the feedback, will at least be warned there may be a nine-day old fish carcass flopping around on the dining room table and can then check it out on their own if they don't want to be duped). It's ridiculous to think/assert that getting bum advice is better than not having been given advice at all. Sincerity (or the appearance of it) is not a trump over accuracy.

Most of the views you express here are much too limiting on the creative process/product and some of them, like the one this thread came to focus on, are idiotically wrongheaded.

The people who have come here in good faith deserve not to be misled by your knowledge shortfalls and your vanity that leads you to advise on things you know nearly squat about (acknowledging that you do have some basic knowledge about writing on some basic topics). Eventually those coming here for help and/or reading this board--and maybe, eventually even you--will be able to figure out the value of bum advice--and maybe you'll start using some responsibility in responding--and exhibiting less beligerent "defensive flak in the air" crap when shown to have miscued (and we all miscue from time to time).

These threads showing your knowledge shortfalls on writing--and your nastiness when being called on it--are piling up on each other--and what came up in this thread is pretty blatantly obvious no matter how nasty you've gotten about it.

 

[Boxlicker101]

All of your foul language and name calling aside, Elfin and Jenny (and friends--who will show up at any minute now), I reiterate that whenever I see you going beyond your knowledge base on writing and giving bum advice in feedback on this board, I will point to it. (And everyone, including the original requester for the feedback, will at least be warned there may be a nine-day old fish carcass flopping around on the dining room table and can then check it out on their own if they don't want to be duped). It's ridiculous to think/assert that getting bum advice is better than not having been given advice at all. Sincerity (or the appearance of it) is not a trump over accuracy.

Most of the views you express here are much too limiting on the creative process/product and some of them, like the one this thread came to focus on, are idiotically wrongheaded.

The people who have come here in good faith deserve not to be misled by your knowledge shortfalls and your vanity that leads you to advise on things you know nearly squat about (acknowledging that you do have some basic knowledge about writing on some basic topics). Eventually those coming here for help and/or reading this board--and maybe, eventually even you--will be able to figure out the value of bum advice--and maybe you'll start using some responsibility in responding--and exhibiting less beligerent "defensive flak in the air" crap when shown to have miscued (and we all miscue from time to time).

These threads showing your knowledge shortfalls on writing--and your nastiness when being called on it--are piling up on each other--and what came up in this thread is pretty blatantly obvious no matter how nasty you've gotten about it.

For those in England, "bum advice" is not advice concerning a woman's rear end.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

For those in England, "bum advice" is not advice concerning a woman's rear end.

Take a look, Boxlicker. Most of his stories are "Gay Male". He had something else in mind

Now when this guy figures out what this story is about we can help him. I have no idea how he can even begin writing without the barest of notion of the direction his story is to go.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Take a look, Boxlicker. Most of his stories are "Gay Male". He had something else in mind

Now when this guy figures out what this story is about we can help him. I have no idea how he can even begin writing without the barest of notion of the direction his story is to go.

Frequently, I start stories with certain intentions, but end up doing something entirely different. The characters know what they want to do, and they usually know better than I do, so I let them have their way.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Frequently, I start stories with certain intentions, but end up doing something entirely different. The characters know what they want to do, and they usually know better than I do, so I let them have their way.

True. The same thing happens to all of us. But when you begin a story you have, at least, some vague idea what what the story is about, even if it does go off the rails in midstream.

 

[sexymathstudent]

True. The same thing happens to all of us. But when you begin a story you have, at least, some vague idea what what the story is about, even if it does go off the rails in midstream.

I think people are taking this thread way too seriously. I'm just throwing some stuff out there.

 

[sr71plt]

Take a look, Boxlicker. Most of his stories are "Gay Male". He had something else in mind

Now when this guy figures out what this story is about we can help him. I have no idea how he can even begin writing without the barest of notion of the direction his story is to go.

And yet, I have nearly twice as many straight stories on here as you do.

Ever the personal innuendo and attack, eh Jenny?

 

[KarennaC]

Anger and attacks

Okay... can we all have hot hate sex now?

 

[sr71plt]

Okay... can we all have hot hate sex now?

I'm supposing you mean BDSM then? I'll see what I can come up with on my end--I write pretty much across the board. A spoof, perhaps, of hot, rough sex where passion and hard taking are egged on to ever newer heights by ever nastier and ever more personal jabs about relative grasp of grammar, punctuation, and writing style. Yes, I can see that.

 

[hmmnmm]

I think people are taking this thread way too seriously. I'm just throwing some stuff out there.

I think you're on the right track.
Funny, or not so funny, but I was just now thinking the same thing, practically word for word - too many people take this stuff way too seriously- I think those were the words. I mean, like, seven minutes ago I thought those words. And throwing stuff out there - that's all I do. And life is good.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

And yet, I have nearly twice as many straight stories on here as you do.

Ever the personal innuendo and attack, eh Jenny?

Only when it comes to egotistic yahoos, SR

 

[KarennaC]

I'm supposing you mean BDSM then? I'll see what I can come up with on my end--I write pretty much across the board. A spoof, perhaps, of hot, rough sex where passion and hard taking are egged on to ever newer heights by ever nastier and ever more personal jabs about relative grasp of grammar, punctuation, and writing style. Yes, I can see that.

Uh huh... nasty jabs about grammar, punctuation, and writing style can be highly erotic!

 

[sr71plt]

Only when it comes to egotistic yahoos, SR

Ah, I see. One of those self-flagellaters then (I believe someone suggested a mirror to you yesterday). Still in the realm of BDSM, so KarennaC should be happy.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Ah, I see. One of those self-flagellaters then (I believe someone suggested a mirror to you yesterday). Still in the realm of BDSM, so KarennaC should be happy.

I wish you two would knock it off, or take it to the GB. It's a wonder you haven't scared some newbies off with your silly bickering.

 

[sr71plt]

I wish you two would knock it off, or take it to the GB. It's a wonder you haven't scared some newbies off with your silly bickering.

Apparently you're missing my point. I want the newbies to take notice of the quality of advice they are being given and the deportment of those giving it (I'll accept full responsibility for how they perceive my deportment here). That being the case, this precisely is where this discussion goes. This is definitely a writer beware board, I'm afraid--at least at the moment.

And, yes, when I see some bit of idiotically wrongheaded advice being given, I'll throw up the "writer beware" flag and then the idiotically wrongheaded advisers will call me an asshole and their chorus will chime in, and then in a few days they will repeat the idiotically wrongheaded advice, and I . . . And so on. But this is where the warning flags have to be/will be raised if this is where idiotically wrongheaded advice occasionally is being given.

And, yes, gee, if idiotically wrongheaded advice is going to be stubbornly given here, I think newbies should be warned off--for their own protection, because obviously the idiotically wrongheaded advisers don't give a crap for them or they'd at least go look their advice up first. That's the point.

 

[sr71plt]

I wish you two would knock it off, or take it to the GB. It's a wonder you haven't scared some newbies off with your silly bickering.

I put this separately so it doesn't get lost in anything else. Aren't you saying that it doesn't matter what a newbie is told here--that all advice is equal and valid, the flatly wrong and destructive advice and nasty putdown as well as anything that might be valid/constructive? That it's all equal opinion?

Because that's a perception I see pushed here--and as fascinating as it is to contemplate, I think it's a load of crap. I don't think it's true that giving bad/invalid advice is better than giving no advice at all.

And, using the example of this thread, advising that the narrator/character of a first-person work has to use proper grammar in the narration when that character is one who wouldn't use proper grammar isn't just bad advice, it undermines the whole first-person mode of writing. Taking this advice would screw the writer up royally in trying to write convincing first-person until someone who actually knew what they were talking about retrained that writer and undid all the harm thus done to his/her writing.

 

[sexymathstudent]

I don't think it's true that giving bad/invalid advice is better than giving no advice at all.

There will be disagreements regarding what advice is good and what is bad. I will take the advice that seems right to me. If you think someone has given bad advice then politely explain why it is bad advice.

 

[sexymathstudent]

we don't review stories in pieces.

are there rules about this?

 

[sr71plt]

There will be disagreements regarding what advice is good and what is bad. I will take the advice that seems right to me. If you think someone has given bad advice then politely explain why it is bad advice.

Umm, well, yes. How is this different from what I did? Go look at my first post. Go look at who tried to make it all ugly.

What I did was try to assure you that your narrative voice was just fine and that I didn't agree with the contrary advice you were being given on that point. Tickledkitten and I also subsequently gave examples in literature that backed that point up. I also subsequently said that I thought the measures were fine for your narrative voice's character.

If this thread had stopped with you being given options to choose from that would have been fine with me. It didn't.

Please take a look at what actually transpired. I think your "keep it polite" should be directed at some other poster than me.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

are there rules about this?

This forum was set up to review stories already posted, to help writers who's stories have been rejected and to review entire stories before thay are submitted.

No there are no rules. But we are not here to hold your hand while you struggle through writing a story. If you are at that stage, you should be working with an editor who can help you and not using this forum.

You are asking us what WILL YOUR STORY BE, when the point of this forum is this is WHAT YOUR STORY IS.

Appearantly you still don't even know what kind of story you are writing, so we don't even have a place to begin. Is this a "storke" story? Is this a "girl/girl Lesbian" storie? Loving Wives? What?

The characters running around in your head are supposed to determine what the story is about, not the people on this board.

 

[sr71plt]

There is no hardedged "we" here. Some are certainly trying to shove this down everyone's throat, but there is no coordinated "we" here--and there certainly shouldn't be a coordinated "we" on this board. The category is "Story Feedback." There's nothing dictating where in the process of working up a story idea that feedback should/can be requested here. "We" don't own this board.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

There is no hardedged "we" here. Some are certainly trying to shove this down everyone's throat, but there is no coordinated "we" here--and there certainly shouldn't be a coordinated "we" on this board. The category is "Story Feedback." There's nothing dictating where in the process of working up a story idea that feedback should/can be requested here. "We" don't own this board.

Since you either don't bother to read "stickys" or feel your opinion is far more important than that of the site owners, here it is...

1) Include your author name, the name of the story, and the category to which it belongs.

2) Include a link to the work. To get the link, go to the story in your browser, and copy out the information in the 'Address' field of your browser (it will read something like http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php...). Paste this link into your post. This will enable BB readers to find your story in one easy click rather than scouring our index, and will increase the amount of responses you receive in this forum.

It is obvious that Laural's intent, when she tells the poster to place a link to the story, she is talking about completed, posted stories.

This entire mess belongs in the "Story Idea" Forum, not here. If you want to take this guy under your wing and direct his story for him, do so. When it's finished you can ask yourself who's story is it? His or yours.

Personally, that is not a question I will ever ask myself. But then, I'm not a GREAT, FABULOUS and WONDERFUL as you and your opinion.

 

[sr71plt]

Since you either don't bother to read "stickys" or feel your opinion is far more important than that of the site owners, here it is...



It is obvious that Laural's intent, when she tells the poster to place a link to the story, she is talking about completed, posted stories.

This entire mess belongs in the "Story Idea" Forum, not here. If you want to take this guy under your wing and direct his story for him, do so. When it's finished you can ask yourself who's story is it? His or yours.

Personally, that is not a question I will ever ask myself. But then, I'm not a GREAT, FABULOUS and WONDERFUL as you and your opinion.

And yet I don't use the imperial "we."

My guess is that when someone asks a question about their story or story idea here that you don't think should get a response here, the best thing to do is just not respond and let those who want to do so answer as they wish.

I agree with you on not being interested in suggesting where his story should go from wherever he's leaving off, though (although it's no skin off my nose if someone else wants to do that)--I think it's best as his story rather than a group effort. But, although I've seen responders here suggesting where he take the story, I haven't seen that as part of his questions--they've been more of a "what is your reaction to this or that of my own ideas?"

Suggesting that Laurel wants a link posted to any question initiated here is pretty lame, I think. Apparently Laurel isn't as concerned about that as "we" is. Nor is the actual moderator for this segment of the board.

 

[Yoron]

How about putting some spring into that ahh thingie.
You know, let it jump around on its own , sort of. I feel this is a most novel idea.
Then introduce it to the lady's dormitory?