Pleasure/Pain?

[His_sugar]

snip

- Some don't sexualize pain at all. Yet the need for it still exists. There is a rush from the pain ... a high. Sometimes the goal isn't about reaching sexual satisfaction ... sometimes its just about how it awakens your senses and makes you feel more alive.



lara

I don't find pain to be sexually pleasing to me at all. I also don't want or need the 'warm' up portion alot of people do. I like the intense, immediate, sharp pain. Agreed that stubbing my toe, having a needle shoved in my arm before surgery or smacking my forehead on a cabinet door are not the kind of pain that I enjoy. As far as pain during a scene or for satisfaction it is really very simple for me.. don't sugar coat it, don't warm me up, don't caress me and be gentle.

I am indeed a pain slut and I accepted that long ago.

 

[JoseIsWild]

I do not believe in pain. I don't find it exciting as either a lee or a ler. I only like the idea of helplessness.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I have a hard time seeing how one actually gets and pleasure from pain. Since that also seems to be a large part of the relationship, I'm interested to see how it works.

I'd love to hear your theories.

I think the various female submissives have given very articulate answers.

From my point of view, the closest analogy would be contact sports. I am not really "into the game" until I make the first contact. I do inflict pain on my submissive girlfriends but my ultimate goal is to set the tone for our play. Being in charge and having her submit to my wishes is more important to me than simply inflicting pain.

Some "pain" hopefully sends her to the submissive perspective and sets the tone for me that I am in control. Thresholds can vary widely and it depends on the response I am getting at that time. I agree with the women who have mentioned pain as a sensation. Ideally I want us to reach the "right level" without taking it further.

Responses will vary but that is a decent attempt at explaining my perspectives. Hard to explain in a dozen sentences or less.

 

[Netzach]

I like working with pleasure and pleasureable pain primarily, because of the control factor.

Pleasure is a great way to control another. If you suddenly stop whatever feels so good you've created a dependency, an instant tension.

If you push pleasureable pain (oh yeahhhh) into a moment of non-pleasureable pain (arrrggggh fuck) you can then milk that dynamic for hours.

Many tops into painplay derive huge pleasure from this fundamentally pretty cerebral game, and I'm one.

 

[Roxy_Rocks]

Some types of pain I find immense pleasure in. Like pinching my nipples really hard, or biting my neck just as I cum

 

[clamshell2]

I too like

different types of pain, others i do not. I enjoy, being flogged and sharp intense quick pain. like needles into my bodyparts. i do not enjoy spanking or paddling. however if the dom or domme i'm with gets off on it i will endure because i want to see him pleased. something about flogging does find my sexual center. slow increasing pressure turns me on to the point where i enjoy the pain.its not pain anymore in my head and i want more.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For us pain is an important part of the relationship we both crave and thrive on, though there is never enough time to indulge. I think it moves beyond just pleasure in our lives. It definately is one of the most powerful aphrodesiacs we have found, but it is also a tension release. In saying that, I also realise it creates it's own unique tension in tht if we do not indulge ourselves regularly, there is an unmistakable tension in the air that gets to an explosive point if not relieved.

I am not sure I will ever reach subspace so to speak. I reach a point of deep calm, but that is more a feeling of relaxation and release after the session, and never a point during the session where I detach from what is happening. I feel every stroke of the whip or flogger or cane, and I feel when he draws blood. It is a special moment we both love, and hopefully we will move beyond as time passes to doing more than just drawing a drop or two. The pain and sharing of purpose brings us closer everyday being an intimate exchange I have never shared to this degree with another.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Maybe an interesting bump for some......

 

[SierraMoon]

The pleasure aspect for me, starts as soon as He tells me to lay down, get on my knees, or whatever. i get excited, knowing that the pain isn't far away.

The only example i can give as a difference of pain during play opposed to not in play is this.

i got a new paddle that a friend made for me. As soon as we got to the motel, He told me to take my pants down, and gave me a swat with it. IT HURT!!!! and, not in a pleasurable way. He then told me to take a shower, and come back to Him naked, and lie on the bed. In that short time, knowing what was coming up, i was in my "submissive space", and the first crack of the paddle was pure pleasure. Didn't hurt at all.

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but in order for my pain to equal pleasure, i need to be in that "space", where my mind is totally on Him, and nothing else.

 

[RadicalFlower]

Well i like the rough pain somewhat..Like the slaping Even in face Ass Where ever...Hair pulling tieing up...But i have yet not tryed the other stuff....but i am real tolerante to pain...it brings me better orgasms...IMO...

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Since that also seems to be a large part of the relationship, I'm interested to see how it works.

Hi, I can only speak for myself but while there are a lot of people who like some amount of pain with their d/s, it doesn't have to be ANY part of the relationship for it to qualify as bdsm, from what I understand.

There is a terrific site someone sent me to that explains much better than I could the dynamics to one not into it -- in fact the link I'll give you is about how a vanilla woman in a relationship with a subbie guy can find her 'Innner Domme.' She breaks categories down very well, and discusses subtle basics that almost anyone can relate to. There are non-pain related areas (at least non-physical pain) such as humiliation, for instance. http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html

It's really much more about control and submission. I can get a sexualized feeling from some pain but don't like to go there, as, to me, it feels icky. Being tied up doesn't even do anything for me. The areas I like to go are much different and I'm only recognizing them now as being d/s related. That site really helped me.

On the other hand, I do like getting hickies, and gentler bites, if they are in the right places on my neck. (s) And for something from the other side of the pain equation (I noticed you didn't ask about getting off on the Giving of pain) -- I noticed some years back, in a non-sexual context, that I get a small sexual spasm if I'm, say, arguing with someone, and go a little too far, a little over the line. I always took it as a sign to back off immediately. I'm a gentle soul in rl and never thought until a couple of days ago that it might be ok to indulge that feeling with someone who Likes to feel pain. What seemed to do it was, the feeling that I was going a bit over the line and dominating the other person, continuing to argue even after it was clear that they had lost. Pretty subtle I guess, but the same principle. Domination, control, the pushing of boundaries.

(A last thought -- have you ever been into sex with someone so much that when, for some reason, something got uncomfortable (you were in a funny position, lieing on a rock outdoors, or whatever) you just kept going because you didn't want to stop for anything? That can be something of the same thing. Especially if you tried to not just ignore the discomfort, but incorporate it into what you were doing. Never had that 'oh, baby, it hurts so good,' feeling?)

 

[Netzach]

Likewise, I keep seeing the enjoyment of pain linked to D/s. There are some people who enjoy certain kinds of pain and want nothing but NOTHING to do with submitting or being controlled. It's not for the sake of my Top, in fact I'm more interested in whether they have a good touch with their spanking hand than I am in pleasing them or serving.

I engage in certain types of painplay (piercing, caning, being whipped or flogged) where the ONLY purpose is pleasing myself, having a masochistic release, I think there are both physiological and psychological attractors for me, and perhaps they have something to do with a sense of balance in my life, a sense of relaxation, or a sense of being tested, of undergoing a trial of some kind and coming out ok.

 

[landcruisergal]

I am a sensationalist, as in I simply enjoy sensations. Be they from a needle, a flogging or a brush with a feather.And they dont always have to be in a bdsm situation. I enjoy needleplay with a girlfriend who likes to create patterns on my skin.
Pain heightens and intensifies sex for me.The anticipation of a sting, a slap or a pinch.The hot glow from a spanking. And I like the flow of endorphins afterwards. I admire my bodies ability to endure pain for either aesthetic purposes, like a tattoo, or ring of temporary needles, or to have my master gently stroke me and praise me for my stoicism(?). Probably vanity and selfishness.