question for submissives: When you Screw up....

[Daddyslilpet]

do dumb things sometimes to get my Master to do things to me. He will tell me to get up out of his chair & I tell him no, & he grabs me by the hair (which is a turn on) & pulls me out of it. I hope he will start punishing me more... yeah baby..

That's called being a SAM (Smart Ass Masochist) or a bratty sub. Some subs are proud of this type of behavior and some Dom/mes will put up with it, but most Dom/mes don't care for it for very long. Doing things to get yourself in trouble on purpose isn't the best idea in the world. Trust me they find enough ways to punish us without our helping out in that respect.

 

[Etoile]

I was going to say "topping from the bottom" but I guess it really is more a SAMmy thing. Good call, dixicritter.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

do dumb things sometimes to get my Master to do things to me. He will tell me to get up out of his chair & I tell him no, & he grabs me by the hair (which is a turn on) & pulls me out of it. I hope he will start punishing me more... yeah baby..

yikes..if i were to do this, it wouldn't be a fun punishment, i'd probably be stood in the corner until He was calmed down enough to decide what to do to me, and then the cane or some other instrument that scares the shit out of me would be used on me, not to mention the disappointment in His eyes for me being so "sammy" and topping from the bottom.

 

[Bandit58]

yikes..if i were to do this, it wouldn't be a fun punishment, i'd probably be stood in the corner until He was calmed down enough to decide what to do to me, and then the cane or some other instrument that scares the shit out of me would be used on me, not to mention the disappointment in His eyes for me being so "sammy" and topping from the bottom.

It wouldn't go down too well in our house either rose

There is a BIG difference between real punishment and "play" punishment. I like a good spanking/flogging but I don't go out of my way to seek opportunities to get one. I know I would not enjoy a riding crop used full force with NO warmup (which is what I would get if I acted up!)

 

[MasterPhoenix]

It wouldn't go down too well in our house either rose

There is a BIG difference between real punishment and "play" punishment. I like a good spanking/flogging but I don't go out of my way to seek opportunities to get one. I know I would not enjoy a riding crop used full force with NO warmup (which is what I would get if I acted up!)

She has gotten the crop for something else... not full force... but enough to make a point...

She did NOT like it...

 

[lil_slave_rose]

She has gotten the crop for something else... not full force... but enough to make a point...

She did NOT like it...

*shudders remembering*

 

[SubKekiLee]

Well for me , when I displease MyD, he shuts down and doesnt speak to me at all from a few moments to all day to several days. I hate to displease him and the look in his eyes is enough for me, but he most of the time makes me kneel in the corner in the bedroom and makes me think of what I did.. I am alot harder on myself cause he is the one D Ive looked for all my life.. he is the key to my lock.. He wouldnt push me too far of my HARD limits but if I did displease him he would punish me..

JUSt my opinion..

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Well for me , when I displease MyD, he shuts down and doesnt speak to me at all from a few moments to all day to several days. I hate to displease him and the look in his eyes is enough for me, but he most of the time makes me kneel in the corner in the bedroom and makes me think of what I did.. I am alot harder on myself cause he is the one D Ive looked for all my life.. he is the key to my lock.. He wouldnt push me too far of my HARD limits but if I did displease him he would punish me..

JUSt my opinion..

ignoring me would devastate me to the point that i would probably lose ALOT of trust in Him. thankfully He does not see that as a good punishment either. the 'disobedience' that i started this thread for was NOT a hard limit, it was not even a negotiated limit, it was just something i was uncomfortable with and when He asked me to do it, i just froze up. then when He questioned me about it after a few minutes of not obeying, i snapped at Him. it's since long over with and i had forgotten all about this thread *smiles* it's nice to see it back on the front page again, maybe someone else can get some insight from it.....

 

[SubKekiLee]

ignoring me would devastate me to the point that i would probably lose ALOT of trust in Him. thankfully He does not see that as a good punishment either. the 'disobedience' that i started this thread for was NOT a hard limit, it was not even a negotiated limit, it was just something i was uncomfortable with and when He asked me to do it, i just froze up. then when He questioned me about it after a few minutes of not obeying, i snapped at Him. it's since long over with and i had forgotten all about this thread *smiles* it's nice to see it back on the front page again, maybe someone else can get some insight from it.....

Oh Trust me Rose... IT does debilatate me to no end.. I get sick to my stomach and if he isnt in the house with me and he wont talk to me it gets worse I get depressed.. UGH... So I try not to do it very often I have only done it a couple of times to be honest and well thats 2x too many.. yes I hope this helps someone out ..

 

[HottieMama]

Can't. Keep. Mouth. Shut. Must. Say. This.

HOW are you learning anything from "punishment" or "correction" if your Master ignores you? How is shutting you out of his life helping you to be a better sub/slave for him? Seems to me like all it is doing is instilling fear and doubt...which will hurt the BOTH of you in the long run. It seems like passive-aggressive behavior that a Dom uses to avoid taking responsibility for teaching/molding their submissive. Doesn't make sense to me...not in the least.

My ex did the "you've been a bad girl, you're cut off for however long" bullshit. It didn't work. It damaged our relationship, and the basic idea of what my Daddy or any Daddy is supposed to be like. Thankfully, LC doesn't see ignoring as a good idea either, so i don't have to worry about that anymore.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm fortunate ignoring is not part of our relationship either. I suspect it is just so against our nature's to remain silent when something is bugging us, it would prove impossible.

Catalina

 

[HottieMama]

I'm fortunate ignoring is not part of our relationship either. I suspect it is just so against our nature's to remain silent when something is bugging us, it would prove impossible.

Catalina

That could be part of it too here, Cat. Neither one of us is very quiet to begin with.

 

[catalina_francisco]

That could be part of it too here, Cat. Neither one of us is very quiet to begin with.

LOL, well we are usually very quiet, but he is Spanish so very emotional and expressive, and I am Australian so used to saying what is on my mind as well as being highly emotional also...makes for some difficult times but very rewarding in the long ternm.

Catalina

 

[Lord Crimson]

this is pretty much the same situation though it wasn't a Domme and it wasn't at a play party. and you're right we do punish ourselves more than they do, and He has reassured me that everything is alright, He's not mad at me, but grr these feelings inside suck! thank you for sharing

I just read His response, and He is absolutely correct. While you should try to obey His commands, every Dom or Master knows there are limits to His girl's limits. It is good that you feel inadequate, you disobeyed Him, but he realizes that it was not your fault. I personally feel you have punished yourself, He does not need to. your feelings are those of a well trained submissive slave and should be relished - for they are the TRUE feelings of a girl for letting her Master down. My words for you - good girl.

 

[HottieMama]

i just realized that i may have to start qualifying who my LC is...because there is now another poster here with the initials lc.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Can't. Keep. Mouth. Shut. Must. Say. This.

HOW are you learning anything from "punishment" or "correction" if your Master ignores you? How is shutting you out of his life helping you to be a better sub/slave for him? Seems to me like all it is doing is instilling fear and doubt...which will hurt the BOTH of you in the long run. It seems like passive-aggressive behavior that a Dom uses to avoid taking responsibility for teaching/molding their submissive. Doesn't make sense to me...not in the least.

My ex did the "you've been a bad girl, you're cut off for however long" bullshit. It didn't work. It damaged our relationship, and the basic idea of what my Daddy or any Daddy is supposed to be like. Thankfully, LC doesn't see ignoring as a good idea either, so i don't have to worry about that anymore.

Twice in the over two years that we have been together my Dom has taken a "time out". No communication for a certain amount of time (I think the last one was for 3 days.) The reason though wasn't to punish me, though he was disappointed in something I did, it was to allow himself time to cool down his own anger. As a parent I do the same thing sometimes. I get too angry to deal with the situation as I should so I put myself in timeout until I calm down.

So though I don't think being ignored makes sense as a punishment (for me) I understand his reasons for sometimes cutting communication for a short period.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I just read His response, and He is absolutely correct. While you should try to obey His commands, every Dom or Master knows there are limits to His girl's limits. It is good that you feel inadequate, you disobeyed Him, but he realizes that it was not your fault. I personally feel you have punished yourself, He does not need to. your feelings are those of a well trained submissive slave and should be relished - for they are the TRUE feelings of a girl for letting her Master down. My words for you - good girl.

thank you *smiles* this thread was started back in January and i honestly had forgotten all about it until someone bumped it (i think it may have actually been Daddy who bumped it) anyway, thank you for the kind words and advice...

 

[intothewoods]

Twice in the over two years that we have been together my Dom has taken a "time out". No communication for a certain amount of time (I think the last one was for 3 days.) The reason though wasn't to punish me, though he was disappointed in something I did, it was to allow himself time to cool down his own anger. As a parent I do the same thing sometimes. I get too angry to deal with the situation as I should so I put myself in timeout until I calm down.

So though I don't think being ignored makes sense as a punishment (for me) I understand his reasons for sometimes cutting communication for a short period.

Yeah, but that's the kind of thing that needs to be communicated, not arbitrary. Just my opinion, of course.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Twice in the over two years that we have been together my Dom has taken a "time out". No communication for a certain amount of time (I think the last one was for 3 days.) The reason though wasn't to punish me, though he was disappointed in something I did, it was to allow himself time to cool down his own anger. As a parent I do the same thing sometimes. I get too angry to deal with the situation as I should so I put myself in timeout until I calm down.

So though I don't think being ignored makes sense as a punishment (for me) I understand his reasons for sometimes cutting communication for a short period.

I'm not sure I would think of 3 days as a short period in terms of being ignored or shutting down communication, and think it is a very long time to require to let anger pass. Out of curiosity though, if it were your only intimate or primary relationship, do you think you could accept it just as easily?

Catalina