Question On Odd "sub Space" Experience

[shy slave]

Depending on the modulation and tone of his voice you could have moved into a semi hypnotic state.

That may sound ridiculous but I used to attend 'led meditations' and have seen this happen to people in the group on two different occasions.

Both times they reacted as you did, but the second an ambulance was cold as they were unable to focus fully for more than a few seconds. They need oxygen and then blankets because of the shock reaction they had.

I have no suggestions as to how to prevent it other than having both of you aware of his tone.

I have been into sub-space (or at least a different mind set) by his tone alone more than once, I came out of it quite disorientated. He was with me at the time, I would not want that to happen when we were apart. I think it would make me put up barriers against my mind going there.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

flying.
it is sort of disassociation. It has happened to me from intense mental play and certain types of physical play. I don't see it as a bad thing if your dom is walking you through it and can bring you back content and not afraid....which means he really needs to know what he is doing.

He definantly does know what He's doing, but this was not like anything i've experienced before and it was scary, very much so and He had no way of knowing what was going on to be able to bring me out of it..does that make sense??

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Depending on the modulation and tone of his voice you could have moved into a semi hypnotic state.

That may sound ridiculous but I used to attend 'led meditations' and have seen this happen to people in the group on two different occasions.

Both times they reacted as you did, but the second an ambulance was cold as they were unable to focus fully for more than a few seconds. They need oxygen and then blankets because of the shock reaction they had.

I have no suggestions as to how to prevent it other than having both of you aware of his tone.

I have been into sub-space (or at least a different mind set) by his tone alone more than once, I came out of it quite disorientated. He was with me at the time, I would not want that to happen when we were apart. I think it would make me put up barriers against my mind going there.

the subspace is not what bothers me, i love that...it's this other headspace i was in...it was just scary....

 

[SweetErika]

As you said, it sounds like this may be an indication that you still have some things to resolve from your abuse and/or assault. Even if this isn't a huge issue, it might be a good idea to check in with someone just in case this has deeper roots - it's far easier to deal with it earlier than after it starts ballooning.

Your Master may very well know what he's doing when it comes to phone scenes and dominating, and while he can support you as you work through your issues and heal, your best bet might be specialized therapy using a variety of proven techniques. In my experience, regular counseling doesn't cut it when it comes to these things. Your local rape/abuse crisis center should be able to help you get in touch with really good therapists who you can interview to see which will be the best fit for you (I agree a good rapport is extremely important).

If it is bigger than it appears, what a blessing you're catching and able to start working on it now, and even moreso that your Master's right here supporting you from the beginning. (It's a lot harder when we have to clue our partners in well after the problematic/triggering events!)

Best of luck to you in finding resolution.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

As you said, it sounds like this may be an indication that you still have some things to resolve from your abuse and/or assault. Even if this isn't a huge issue, it might be a good idea to check in with someone just in case this has deeper roots - it's far easier to deal with it earlier than after it starts ballooning.

Your Master may very well know what he's doing when it comes to phone scenes and dominating, and while he can support you as you work through your issues and heal, your best bet might be specialized therapy using a variety of proven techniques. In my experience, regular counseling doesn't cut it when it comes to these things. Your local rape/abuse crisis center should be able to help you get in touch with really good therapists who you can interview to see which will be the best fit for you (I agree a good rapport is extremely important).

If it is bigger than it appears, what a blessing you're catching and able to start working on it now, and even moreso that your Master's right here supporting you from the beginning. (It's a lot harder when we have to clue our partners in well after the problematic/triggering events!)

Best of luck to you in finding resolution.

thank you so much for your kind words and advise when i said He knew what He was doing i in no way meant He's any kind of psychologist, i just meant in helping bring me back after a scene and so on. we are not only on the phone/online we've had real experience together as well anyway, i guess i just never thought that at 29 i'd still be having issues with something that happend when i was 13, but maybe you're right and maybe i do need to seek out the help or a support group or something *shrugs* i'll see what happens! thanks again so much!

 

[Bredon]

Hi again,

I know that it often happens that you do your healing about experiences, and then after many years, you get back to them for a while because there were little parts that you didn't heal yet or the like. I have heard about it often. That's not a bad thing--

i said 'nuh uh' but He said He thought i was just 'playing' it up, ya know?

I dunno how you "tick" and I'm a dom anyway, but I *could* imagine that this would trigger me-- if I felt that someone would do the "you want it" routine, and then I'd feel a bit "no"-- and that person would go over that boundary, because they thought it was only acting-- that could set me off-- and give me a feeling that my perception of reality was violated or something (even though it was a misunderstanding).
I just read the New Topping Book too (there is a New Bottoming Book) and they have to say lot about things like that happening in scenes when there is some old trauma. I think it's a chance to become more aware of where our boundaries are *exactly*--

Dunno if that helped--
Hope you feel better
Bredon

 

[Kajira Callista]

He definantly does know what He's doing, but this was not like anything i've experienced before and it was scary, very much so and He had no way of knowing what was going on to be able to bring me out of it..does that make sense??

if it is scary then don't do it. *shrug*

 

[raven_wish]

thank you for the kind words about our relationship and yes we are defiantly rock solid and i know that we will get through it and be the better for it, if that makes sense. He says He does not blame Himself for it which is a good thing, i was scared at first that He was blaming Himself for not seeing 'signs' but i'm pretty sure there were no signs that He COULD have seen ya know? ah well...it's over and we now know we need to be a bit more careful and maybe not push the 'rape' scenes so far on the phone. when i started this thread i was hoping there would be people who understood that even though we are not 'together' that our experiences are as REAL as they would be if we were actually 'together' and i found that there defiantly were, i'm glad i posted it because i almost didn't due to fear of being 'mocked' or made fun of for being Online/LDR...ya know? and i'm rambling now so i'm gonna stop right here and say thanks..one more time

you are very welcome
i think its easy to see how real and serious and deep the two of you are through your many postings here
and no matter what no one should be mocked of course

i completely agree that there are no signs for Him to look for
that is a big aspect of this 'disassociation' or whatever
if you were able to give a signal we'd be talking about a whole different situatuion

i am glad you found helpful posts here
i think the thread will be running longer than your down time

ps why does my by line read 'virgin' ?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

if it is scary then don't do it. *shrug*

i don't plan on doing it again...i started this thread to get advise and input on what could have caused the 'problem' to begin with.......

 

[lil_slave_rose]

you are very welcome
i think its easy to see how real and serious and deep the two of you are through your many postings here
and no matter what no one should be mocked of course

i completely agree that there are no signs for Him to look for
that is a big aspect of this 'disassociation' or whatever
if you were able to give a signal we'd be talking about a whole different situatuion

i am glad you found helpful posts here
i think the thread will be running longer than your down time

ps why does my by line read 'virgin' ?

*giggles* because you're a 'virgin' poster it goes by how many 'posts' you have on the forum

 

[Kajira Callista]

i don't plan on doing it again...i started this thread to get advise and input on what could have caused the 'problem' to begin with.......

Well i can help with that. By just reading this thread and being on the outside, it deveolped into a problem when everyone who posted told you it was one.
I am one who believes that not everything has some deep seeded psychological...whatever behind it. Sometimes things happen because they happen.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Well i can help with that. By just reading this thread and being on the outside, it deveolped into a problem when everyone who posted told you it was one.
I am one who believes that not everything has some deep seeded psychological...whatever behind it. Sometimes things happen because they happen.

hmm..interesting thoughts..thank you for your input

 

[Netzach]

Well i can help with that. By just reading this thread and being on the outside, it deveolped into a problem when everyone who posted told you it was one.
I am one who believes that not everything has some deep seeded psychological...whatever behind it. Sometimes things happen because they happen.

And I've seen the same scene be

1.great
2.horrible
3. the best ever

on different days with the same participants.

 

[raven_wish]

*giggles* because you're a 'virgin' poster it goes by how many 'posts' you have on the forum

thank you rose..ive been going nuts trying to change it

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Another blast from the past....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Another blast from the past....

wow..umm..i really don't like my threads being bumped..LOL..i didn't realize how much i used to say "Does that make sense?" or ..."ya know" when i posted...haha....

 

[WantonWench]

Odd "sub space"

Honestly, if you were describing some less edgy scene, I'd say you actually hit sub space.

Sub space has a lot of descriptions and definitions, and honestly in my own opinion I think a lot of people describe a nice little endorphin/adrenelin rush as subspace, when to me, it isn't.

Subspace, from what I've observed and from what I've found with my own subs, is a whole lot deeper than that nice floaty rush. Subspace is more a trance state, it often includes a loss of time, little or confused memory of events, hyper-sensitivity to the senses with much less ability to associate sensations with real events.

It closely resembles exactly what you describe. Especially since you say you had no negative feelings associated with it until you felt the disorientation coming out of it. THAT's what aftercare is for. A sub who reaches that level of space IS disoriented coming out of it, and often truly unable to care for themselves. They are often cold, dizzy, dehydrated, with low blood sugar depending on the activity involved. I sometimes have to lead my boy by the hand through the simplest of activities after a scene, just to get him settled and warm under a blanket. (My boy is an adult, mature, business owner who runs teams of construction workers. He does NOT need anybody to lead him by the hand normally.)

That kind of deep subspace is not common. It isn't easy to reach, even for those who play together often and know each others' triggers. But it isn't uncommon, either, nor is it a big psychological event. Usually.

Now, I can't say that's what happened to you, but it sure sounds familiar from your description.