question...

[mjl2010]

I have just learned that the oldest story sitting in the Lit submission Queue will come up for review in late 2099. Submitted just before the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Mayflower Maiden Madness, a typical non-consent story has been repeatedly pushed back.

It seems that offspring of the original author who at this time appears to be the son of Captain John and spent the voyage deflowering young ladies, wrote the story but never did anything with it.

Later his great, great grandson's great great great niece Alison found the story languishing in a drawer and decided to send it in. Unfortunately, after impatiently waiting three days, she inquired as to when it would be published. Of course that put the story on hold. It was also unfortunate that before the first blue moon on Devils Night, she inquired again. And again. So the story had already been pushed back a long way.

Alison died eventually of course. It is said that on her deathbed, she bequeathed the story to a granddaughter. The granddaughter, wanting to read the story, inquired again as to when it would be posted.

And there folks, is how the story, "Mayflower Mayhem Madness" has ended up so far back in the queue, that it will be another 92 years before we get to read it. If the heirs can keep their mouths shut anyway.

MJL2010

 

[GratefulFred]

Sorry to burst your bubble mjl but I have inherited a story that has been pending a whole lot longer.

One of the original erotic pieces was written by a distant relative of mine Ephriam Ben Nono.

The background story goes that Ephriam (whom I am named after), known for his practical jokes, owned and sold a brothel down in Gomorrah, shortly before the real estate market crashed both literarily and theologically.

Anyways skipping a bit ahead in the story, Ephriam, hanging out with his good buddy Abraham were up to playing some prank on Abraham's relative - Lot. Lot it seemed didn't quite have his act together had this wild wife (whom everyone did)and two naive daughters. On one occassion, Abraham and Ephriam saw their opportunity, as often drunk guys do, by hiding within a covered cave and speaking as if they were God. Lot bought into this and left both Sodom and Gomorrah after giving God his ATM and Pin code numbers. Anyways, just after Lot walked away some metorite just plowed into the those twin cities before Ephriam and Abraham could make it back to the bank. Lot seeing this realized that God really spoke to him decided to turn religious. His wife realizing that her party days were over and the prospect of now having a religious husband was too much. Lot seeing her hyperventilate offered her a drink. Unfortunately the water was from the Dead Sea and his wife had this salt problem of sorts. Anyways the wife passed away. Lot now alone with his daughters just knew he had to repopulate the planet and thus had some incestual relationship with his daughters.

Ephriam got wind of this and wrote this story for "Biblical Literotica". The reviewers objected at first that the story did not have any Beastiality references and thus would be a hard sell and perhaps only the trolls would like it. Also that another reason the reviewers had a problem with the story was that Lot's daughters were both over 18, which seemed like they deserved a good father fuck, being so old and such.

As years went by with the advent of Christianity the story was put on a permanent pending status due to the inferior religion of the writer and the writer's lineage. This changed in 2006 when present day "Literotica" finally admitted that Seinfeld was a pretty good show.

The story is still most likely the oldest on Lit's pending lists. I may have another burried away though. A watered down version with a ton of inaccuracies was submitted for this so-called Bible book. The book I heard can be snagged for free at any Motel but it does make rather rough toilet paper due to the poor paper quality.




Want some clean romance?
Always Shower First
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335410

 

[ms.read]

Pest Alert!

NOTE TO SOMEONE ON THIS THREAD FORUM THING! THE PERSON WHO POSTED A LINK UNDER "ALWAYS SHOWER FIRST" DOES NOT GO TO ANY PAGE ON THE INTERNET.

THE PERSON WHO COMMITTED THIS UNFORGIVEABLE ACT IS IN DIRE RISK OF BECOMMING A PEST.

PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!PEST! PESTEE PESSST PEST!!!

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS HAS BEEN A PEST WARNING. ALL SUBSEQUENT WARNINGS SHALL BE ACCOMPANIED BY DANCING BANANAS*

 

[GratefulFred]

I wish to apologize for all those like Ms. Read offended by my last post whereupon I may have accidentally placed a link to a romance story that did not appear to go anywhere. Finding it through my listing of stories and poems is always a good strategy when all else fails.

Still responding in CAPTIONS and complaining to me instead of your exterminator about your home roach problem really does hurt one's eardrums so if you could please keep it down I'd greatly appreciate it.

Oh well...glad you at least liked the brief overview of one of my oldest inherited pending stories to which this thread has been sort of dedicated. If Ms. Read or anyone, including mjl, has others that have been pending for a long time, please tell us about it...Janet!

 

[GratefulFred]

Though I am not one to bring back old posts, this time I have a moral obligation to do so.

To those many of you wondering about the missing paragraph from the story "Always Shower First" discussed in this thread...

Always Shower First
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335410

...all will be revealed in "It's a Fucked Up Life" part of my Holiday offerings under the humor & satire catagory.

It's a Fucked Up Life
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=338270

I wish to apologize to the editors of Literotica for presuming that the removal of the select paragraph was motivated by a need to save precious bandwidth.

Now I realize that this story has absolutely no chance of finishing near the money, unless Loki got the trolls to anoint me as mankind's chaotic leader, so I would advise all those wishing to join in something light and slightly amusing to read it after orgasm not before. "Always Shower First", apparently my one and only attempt at romance, will give the writer a background into this plot. I would just blow the money on drugs anyways, whereas most other writer's would give it to George Bush's reelection campaign.

 

[ms.read]

In repsonse To GreatfulFred: I did not realize i hurt your feelings, I was just merely A wry response to the unlinkable text. ( me trying to be funny) the caps were to make it look more official. I wasn't exactly yelling per se. (except for being a pest, lol) please refer to the dancing bananas in the previous post. have a happy day!

 

[GratefulFred]

Dear Ms. Read,

I personally loved your post. It totally made my minute. The dancing bananas were so cute I felt like adopting a few of them.

My latest warped holiday romp...
It's a Fucked Up Life
http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...y.php?id=338270