Questions for male pyls and those who know some of them...

[SweetErika]

With regards to women finding men attractive physically (I apologize, I forgot who mentioned it) I have never once dated a woman that said she thought I was physically attractive. In fact, I've dated more than one woman that has actively DODGED the question of whether she finds me physically attractive. The usual response was, "Er... well... I don't really look at appearances. I love you for who you are." Translation : No, you're not attractive. But you're funny and polite, so I'll keep you around a little longer. I'm sure this personal sampling of the female populace has skewed my perception of the entire gender... but any of the questioning I've done of women afterwards on the subject has only supported this perception. Is there, perhaps, some taboo among women to saying a man is hot looking?

Well, for me it's more like I usually find someone physically attractive (or not) only after getting to know them and becoming attracted to their personality. And then the physical attraction is more a chemistry thing than a visual one; it's what I feel, versus what I see.

So, when you ask that question, women may interpret it as, "Do you find me attractive based only on what you see?" And to that, many of us are going to say "no" or not know how to answer because we don't think that way. It's not like we can't appreciate physical beauty, it's simply that attraction goes well beyond that for most of us.

Also, a lot of times I'm attracted to individual physical traits like warm eyes, a great smile or overall stature. When I like someone, I find these things and it enhances the overall feeling. As I get to know them, I find more and more, or things that might not be strictly visually appealing become so (e.g. a chubby tummy becomes endearing, a large nose fades into the background, genitals are so ugly they're cute and become absolutely fascinating, etc.)

Anyway, that's a bit of how my brain works.


The finger crossing worked, JMohegan, and the date went very well. Thankfully, this one seems to fall into the balanced, rational category and is a big believer in personal responsibility and not being a victim.