racial slurs during sex

[Shrubbery]

I was watching some pegging porn yesterday (white on white) and the girl said to the guy "I bet you love this big N***** cock don't you", it totally took me out of the moment because the PC side of my brain kicked in.

I think part of what I like about it is chucking all the PC stuff that we normally carry around with us out the window and being totally uninhibited. It is a bit weird coming from one white person to another tho. If it's not actually to do with someone in the room at the time, then it does start to feel a bit creepy. I guess maybe the girl was getting into the whole roleplay thing, pretending to be a guy, in which case, why not a black guy? Sorta?
Hm.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Ok, this may be fairly touchy subject, and isn't something I ever thought I'd be interested in. I've never been turned on by interracial porn (or at least, I've never been turned on by it BECAUSE it is interracial, some of it is still good porn after all), or been more attracted to women of a particular ethnicity, or really understood why or how race has anything to do how sexy someone is.

So a few months ago I started sleeping with an Indian girl a couple years older than me. She was very experienced and fantastically filthy in bed, fulfilling all my dirtiest fantasies and introducing me to some new ones. The one that shocked me the most was that she loved me using racist language and degradation while we were fucking.

I was brought up by communist parents and consider myself very left wing. I suspect this has something to do with why I found it so fucking hot, in that it broke a whole bunch of really strong taboos. I wonder if it's similar to calling a woman 'slut' and 'whore', in that I can't imagine it being hot if it's being used by someone who might actually say things like that in a derogatory way. Maybe it's different for some but for me it's a way of accessing the parts of yourself that are normally kept shut off and allowing yourself that which is forbidden.

Would love to hear other people's thoughts on this, and find women to explore it with

I had a similar relationship with a black woman several years ago. It was difficult for me to use the language she wanted to hear, but over time I became more comfortable with most of it. I never could bring myself to call her a n*****, however. I just couldn't do it. Luckily, she did was satisfied with insults that stopped just short of that.

We got along on many levels, but sex was a major adjustment for me in a lot of ways. I am not really into dom or sub roles; I prefer to meet a woman in bed as an equal. She had other ideas.

We were both successful professionals, and she liked to meet in public at an upscale location--usually a high-end restaurant. We then went to her room (always her hotel room), where she wanted me to force myself on her. She really got off on the physical struggle. That was key for her. I had to work to get her clothes off her, and then work some more to get inside her. But once there was penetration--any penetration--her demeanor changed again. She wanted to be used hard and treated rough. Hard, fast, sweaty and loud; that's what she liked. She wanted me to talk filthy to her and call her all kinds of names. The more degrading the language, the more intense her response.

It wasn't really my scene, but I was in love and that was what she wanted, so I played along. Round 2 was usually more casual, but if we made it to round 3 (and we usually did), it was back to the rough, nasty, no holes barred, filthy name-calling sex. I was worn out after a night with her.

I haven't had any other relationships like quite like that. I'm not sure if I would do it again.

Oh hell, of course I would.

 

[gentledemands]

"Dirty bird" scares the shit out of me.

 

[2981notrohrm]

I love the interracial stuff as much as anyone, but dropping a slur of any kind os a surefire way to kill my buzz. Degrading and dehumanizing another person just doesn't do it for me.

It probably isn't so much that I'm so anti-racist, although I am (I'm the only white dude in my law school's chapter of Black Law Student Association.) It's more that the words go in such a direction that they kill the number one thing that gets me going, and that's that the other party is super-into it.

If I use the N-word at a black woman, it almost takes out the entire "she's into it" factor because, to me, the word implies a total lack of autonomy on her part, and if she uses it, it does the same for me. On the other hand, use of some less rcially charged words, even filthy ones like "slut" or "whore" still imply a level of choice on her part to be a slut or a whore. As such, no buzz kill.

 

[Shrubbery]

I had a similar relationship with a black woman several years ago. It was difficult for me to use the language she wanted to hear, but over time I became more comfortable with most of it. I never could bring myself to call her a n*****, however. I just couldn't do it. Luckily, she did was satisfied with insults that stopped just short of that.

We got along on many levels, but sex was a major adjustment for me in a lot of ways. I am not really into dom or sub roles; I prefer to meet a woman in bed as an equal. She had other ideas.

Sounds like a woman who knew exactly what she wanted

 

[Shrubbery]

If I use the N-word at a black woman, it almost takes out the entire "she's into it" factor because, to me, the word implies a total lack of autonomy on her part, and if she uses it, it does the same for me. On the other hand, use of some less rcially charged words, even filthy ones like "slut" or "whore" still imply a level of choice on her part to be a slut or a whore. As such, no buzz kill.

Interesting. I totally share the 'she's into it' thing. The person you're fucking not being aroused is the biggest turnoff. I was with a girl once who was very into force, being tied up and non-consent play, and I just couldn't give her what she wanted/needed. The relationship didn't last long.

With my Indian ex (let's call her V) the racial slurs never seemed to have that effect at all. Maybe it's a cultural difference of the meaning and significance of the n word with the kind of things she wanted me to say to her (mostly specific caste-related insults. She had to explain a lot of them to me), or maybe it was just so obviously turning her on that there was no question of autonomy

 

[LauraWilling]

I just found this thread and it appears to have run it's course, but it is something I have never quite understood. I have enjoyed being with Black men since I was in college. It is not so much the typical reasons most cite. Large size, taboo or whatever. For me it was the fact that I found Black men seemed to have the ability to leave all or most of their inhibitions at the bedroom door. I love that when a man just lets go and uses me for any and all his desires. I love it hot and nasty, but when it gets to racial slurs it makes me a little uncomfortable. I was never raised to see or think of others in negative ways unless they proved to be bad people. My parents came here from Italy and I know what slurs and negative, usually false comment feel like. My family never knew any Mafia types and my papa did not hangout at a social club playing bocce. He was honest and hard working.

Now I am about as uninhibited as a woman can be and love sex and pleasing the man or men I am with. My first experience with racial slurs was while in college. I worked as a topless dancer and became friends with one of the bouncers who happened to be this huge Black man. He was always good and protective of me, but when things progressed to where he shared me with some of his friends I began hearing certain words used between themselves. Some how I never understood this, as I thought of these words and names as derogatory and vile. That was 40 years ago. I still love sex with Black men, but I am also still uncomfortable with racial slurs.