Request for Feedback: Dialogue and Pacing

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

This is the format for multi paragraph dialogue by a single character: with explanations in brackets.

I'll try that. I used to use that technique in formal writing, but people kept "fixing" the missing end quote for me and I switched to block quotations in that context. That quote format was one of those things that I learned in school, but never saw used, or perhaps never noticed. I'd forgotten about it until I read your post. When I think about it, though, there's no reason not to do it in fiction. Nobody's going to have trouble with meaning because the end quote isn't there, even if they don't know the reason for it. Of course, it's not going to help the reader if they're not aware of the reason for it, either.

One thing that this experience has reminded me is that just like there's no such thing as a perfect writer, there's no such thing as a perfect reader. I want my writing to be easy and enjoyable to read, so toward that end, I'm thinking I should use the quote technique you describe when it's undesirable to have a dialog tag, but try to avoid multi-paragraph quotes when a tag can be added in a way that's not jarring.

I suppose if people dislike it, they'll probably let me know!

Thanks for the idea.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

One piece of advice, though. You will never get 100% perfect copy, it's just about impossible. If your typos are silly and infrequent, readers will overlook the occasional mistake (except the twat who found three spelling mistakes in a thirty thousand word story and thought he'd tell me). But if every sentence has something wrong with it, readers will let writers know, and they really must do something about it.

You'll improve far quicker as a writer if you concentrate on making your next story better. Futzing with your last one, unless it's diabolically bad, is a waste of time, I reckon. It really is a case of, "Get it right before you submit."

Excellent advice that I'm pathologically incapable of following! Leaving mistakes alone takes self-discipline I only occasionally possess. Point taken, though.

I"ll try changing the font size/style. I might try narrowing the margins, too. I'm pretty sensitive about overused words, so I tried one of the tools that counts the instances of words or phrases. It was soul-crushing drudgery. In the future, I think I'll use it only for words I'm concerned about. I worry about repetitive sentence structure, too, because I have a habit of using non-standard structure - probably much too often.

 

[gordo12]

I'll try that. I used to use that technique in formal writing, but people kept "fixing" the missing end quote for me and I switched to block quotations in that context. That quote format was one of those things that I learned in school, but never saw used, or perhaps never noticed. I'd forgotten about it until I read your post. When I think about it, though, there's no reason not to do it in fiction. Nobody's going to have trouble with meaning because the end quote isn't there, even if they don't know the reason for it. Of course, it's not going to help the reader if they're not aware of the reason for it, either.

One thing that this experience has reminded me is that just like there's no such thing as a perfect writer, there's no such thing as a perfect reader. I want my writing to be easy and enjoyable to read, so toward that end, I'm thinking I should use the quote technique you describe when it's undesirable to have a dialog tag, but try to avoid multi-paragraph quotes when a tag can be added in a way that's not jarring.

I suppose if people dislike it, they'll probably let me know!

Thanks for the idea.

I've used it in a story coming up. And I've seen other writers use it. I was going to give one of them shit one day (nicely) when I realized it rang some bells. Sure enough, like you. Duh!

Readers will let you know I'm sure. But I got sick of breaking dialogue with some other stuff just so I could avoid multiple sentences by the same speaker.

I often put a author's notes up front in the story. You could have a brief explanation there.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Excellent advice that I'm pathologically incapable of following! Leaving mistakes alone takes self-discipline I only occasionally possess. Point taken, though.

I"ll try changing the font size/style. I might try narrowing the margins, too. I'm pretty sensitive about overused words, so I tried one of the tools that counts the instances of words or phrases. It was soul-crushing drudgery. In the future, I think I'll use it only for words I'm concerned about. I worry about repetitive sentence structure, too, because I have a habit of using non-standard structure - probably much too often.

Yes, but consider this: if you obsess about perfect text it gets in the way of pleasure from your writing, and what's the point in that? Particularly with erotica.

The smallest known time interval in the cosmos is the micro-typo, the time between pressing the Submit button and saying, "Oh, no, there's a typo." Sweat it enough to get it 99% right, then concentrate on the words. They're far more important.

Here's another tip - to spot super repetitive words, go to worditout.com and drop your text into the word-cloud creator. It counts the frequency of the top one-hundred words. Here's an example, from my latest story:

https://worditout.com/word-cloud/4157731

It's about Delilah. The size and position tells you that

Hmmm. "Like" and "said" - possibly overused. I might use similes too often, and maybe I should pay more attention to this thread. Or I've got a whole bunch of dialogue, if I'm paying attention to my ten-percent rule .

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Here's another tip - to spot super repetitive words, go to worditout.com and drop your text into the word-cloud creator. It counts the frequency of the top one-hundred words. Here's an example, from my latest story:

https://worditout.com/word-cloud/4157731

That was really interesting. I was afraid mine would be full of adverbs, but it wasn't. Unfortunately, that probably only means I used a variety of adverbs instead of repeating them!