Review: Stories by RedLegoDragon

[DarkSollat]

The new @RedLegoDragon 's story is up -> A Fertile Competition. I experienced a brief setback with reading, as Lit posted the work at 8AM instead of usual 7AM so I didn't noticed till afternoon, but I'm back on track.

When it comes to general themes, usually RLD has been alterating between silly works and serious ones. AFC seemed to belong to the former category, same as Wet Hot Eroshire Summer Ch.01, so it looked like the cycle was broken. But in fact, it didn't, because it turned out despite the overaching art (a competition who'll manage to get Alexa pregnant) is silly as fuck, each of the main four sex scene has rather serious tone. For two - Jacob's and Logan's - it straight up therapy sessions, while for the other two - Kyle's and Leona's - it was about making their sordid dreams come true. And don't get me wrong - sex were pretty solid too, and quite silly as well, but to be honest, pretty solid isn't what RLD accustomed me to - I expected something great. In fact, I was enjoying psychological aspect over sexual one. Same may be said about further DP threesomes scenes.

The work however starts with Alexa being worried if her husband knows their daughter isn't his - it was quite fun. But then comes the main twist and it's... weird af - tbh I know what the characters' deals are, but what they tried to get during this particular scene, I don't know. Next fucking session is also weird and I felt slightly uncomfortable reading it while I doubt it was RLD's intention. Also, as always, there was editorial mistakes every beta reader would catch on (misspelling Alessa name, Kyle and Mark's bet described on two separate occassions with different details, two dialogues about Leona having the same plastic surgeon as Alexa between the same characters one page away).

But, despite this work as a whole is only OK, there is one scene which stands proudly side by side with RLD's best: the scene of Leona and Alexa cumming together - it beats analogical scene from A Fertile Opportunity in my books. The second place belongs to the start of Jacob's scene, when he fucks Alexa in some creepy but hot manner.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for the review!

I'd like to say every conflicting detail is deliberately calculated by a skilled writer. However, in this case I'm just a dumbass!

 

[DarkSollat]

New @RedLegoDragon story Cursed is now on, so here's the review.

In fact, this is hard for me to write this review. Because even if the story has sex in it, it's not really a sex story. I know, Three's a Crowd or Get Cucked! also had complicated plots, but sex in them were hot, lusty, and erotic (even in case of Dani and Jake, however weird it is - but it was the same for the characters, so I'm forgiven). Here's, sex scene is mostly... awkward? concerning? And don't get me wrong, it fits the overall theme, characters involved, and their relationship, so there is a certain... appeal in it. I'm just saying that if you want something to beat your meat to, Cursed probably won't do the work. Or maybe it will, I'm not kinkshaming (not after some works I've read on AO3). And also, there is a small segment of this sex scene which is - for me - genuinelly hot, so maybe I'm into weird shit too. (Not maybe. I am.)

What really works in this story though, are characters. Erith is in fact more likeable than Erin, and also chances are that she's better than sex than her sister. Nathan is for sure creep, but a creep, this story needed, and it pains me that people with his views exist irl too. Just please, don't call him/them an incel. Incel is just a shortcut for involuntary celibate; I'm an incel, and probably many other guys here. It's so called pill ideologies the problem, so call them pillers when the potential sequel hook will come into life. Secondary cast is also OK.

On weak points, I don't think a moral of this story really delivers. It should be that sex isn't the most important thing in life, but I don't think that Eroshire as a whole support it even a little. Like, Erin was literally unhappy until she started having proper sex, so when the sentence above come from her, it sounds hypocritical as fuck. The secondary moral is that sex is only good with at least temporary relation and no, I'm not buying it here. I could agree that it's better, but I seriously doubt if Brad, Kyle, or Erin really needs connection to have a great fuck, not even beginning with the likes like Alexa or Theo. (Just to be clear: I believe in both irl, but we're talking the fictional universe and its denizens.) But maybe it's a soft reboot, who knows.

Ah, this work has the marathon ofc, but this time it's more emotional than lustful. Not a bad thing itself, but still - nothing to make my dick flutter.

Summarizing, Cursed was for sure an interesting read, much different than the rest of Eroshire. It's not bad, but I won't probably be coming back to it.

 

[DarkSollat]

Yesterday @RedLegoDragon 's newest story was published: One Night. I know, I usually review his submissions the same day they came up, but this time I'm a little later because slaying demons in Doom (2016) is a full-time job.

Anyway, first of all, thank you RLD for a shout-out. I feel appretiated, even if you didn't take my suggestion about a door scene

The review will be however short and comes up to one sentence: If you liked A Sordid Arrangement (which I reviewed in the first post in this topic), you'll love One Night as this story is practically a retelling of it. And I don't mean it negatively: ASA was the first story published by RLD, so it bears some Early Installment Weirdness, and I know the author wanted to tackle this particular topic once more with more experience and skills. And he generally speaking succeeded: this work has a great buildup, wide range of likeable (and not) characters, and hot sex with not one, not two, but THREE montages! And also, what is very important to me, a sweet ending. All of it set in a lustful country of Eroshire we know and love.

Rating: A tier.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for the review!

 

[samu7]

LOL BIG RANT
Why do you keep insisting your main characters to be good people? Lol. I mean, you have definitely grown and progressed as a writer, becoming more than a smut writer. But idk man, all this moral messaging, and the messages in your latest stories. They just rub me the wrong way. Mind you I've praised your stories before, so this is coming from someone who fully much enjoy and understands what's hot about cheating stories.

I snickered when Kyle tried to claim the boy he's been bullying for years to be an asshole. And I literally couldn't roll my eyes hard enough when the reveal comes.

I do appreciate you writing the complexities of your stud characters but where does that left us? A message that if you are cheated on, it must be because your bully has smelled your bullshit and you deserve it LMAO

It's just so hypocritical in this universe. You know you can make a cheating story without making it seem like the cheaters had moral high ground right? Especially when we've established from the first page how much of a massive asshole Kyle is.

It has been such a problem with your latest stories that stop me from fully enjoying them. In *Three's a Crowd*, I already got the ick when it tried to plaster it over and over again how “it's WHO you fuck!” that makes sex special… when we have seen many Eroshire stories where the cheating sex feels much better with a bigger cock. But I let that slide because of the darker tone of the story.

Then *Zehra Takes the Third Option* came and we had Zehra rationalizing her decision to her boyfriend with the “Honey, I'm having sex with your best friend to get closer to a part of you” bullshit. What? I feel like being gaslit. I simply to refuse to believe her ridiculous claim. We've read *Game Night*, come on. Girl you cheated with Logan because you think he's hot, lol. Like… why are we trying to justify their cheating into something wholesome, like it was something they did for a greater good. Why are we being told that their cheating was the morally good decision? Heck! One of THE hottest part of it was how WRONG it was. Sure, I can accept them easing into a throuple relationship but the way they were built left a lump in my mind.

On *Cursed*.... I gave up. I thought someone had commented somewhere about it, something I fully agreed on. It was hypocritical bullshit in the message. Sure, Nathan went about it in the wrong way but were his grievances wrong? The girls DID only always go after the jocks! You can't even make the “but they weren't assholes about it” argument because characters like Kyle and Theo exist. Overall, it just rubs me the wrong way how you twist the fact that some guys being hot and good at sex as testaments on how they actually respect women. It was laughable how hypocritical that was.

Back to *One Night*, it was another hypocritical justification mess. The takeaway of the story is, despite having a solid group of friends and many girls around him, Kyle was actually a broken individual who was hurting inside. And the guy he's BULLYING for years and years was actually a monster of a person who did in fact deserve to be left by his girlfriend for his own bully.

Like, how did you really expect us to respond to the reveal? *Oh no, he lashed out when he found out his girlfriend have brutal sex with his bully on his last day of High School right next to his hotel room for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT, humiliating him for everyone in the hotel building to hear! He lashed out at that! What a monster!* Lol. It felt like the only way to be a good man in Eroshire was to accept his girlfriend cheating and screaming for hours and hours about how much bigger and better the cock is. And while I agree Clyde's view was toxic, his high school experience was detrimental to shape his view, and he was still raw. Let's break it down: 1) Kyle was constantly bullying Clyde, 2) Clyde's girlfriend's friends still willingly slept with him / praise his reputation despite the fact. So was it REALLY wrong of him to look down on these girls who willingly cozy up to his bullying tormentor just because they think he's hot? Was it REALLY omg-so-abusive-monstrous-POS of him to not want his girlfriend become one of them - overlooking an asshole’s asshole behavior just because he's got a massive cock? Like, I don't fucking care how many times Kyle's dad beat him up growing up, KYLE IS NOT A BETTER PERSON THAN CLYDE and it's psychotic and sick in the head to even suggest that, and yet you did. Many times.

Again, the ending heavily implied Kyle was just a flawed broken individual while Clyde was an irredeemable monster. Despite the fact Kyle was BULLYING Clyde for years! Lol. I refuse to believe Kyle was a better person than Clyde just because he's sex positive. Come on.

It was such a demoralizing message to young men. Not that your earlier stories have good moral message lol, but at least we weren't made to believe the cheating pair to have a moral ground than people who just aren't as hot or as skilled at sex as them. Let assholes be assholes.

It wasn't even about how they fall in love. I didn't mind having to read about cheating pairs who fell in love eventually, but at that point we recognize them as selfish ignorant behavior. The way you treat your characters who aren't as sexy and skilled at sex were just cruel. Not only by taking their girls away, you stripped them off and tainted their entire image as a person. The only ones that weren't painted as monsters were the ones who ACCEPT having their girl have sex with other men. The others? Nope, abusive devilish monsters who deserve to rot while the guys with big dicks were actually broken weeping angels.

At the end of the day, you wrote what you wanted and I definitely appreciate your growth as a writer but reading these stories just made me sink into a hole and I'd just keep to your older stories where it was just hot woman and man fucking, and less justifying them as a moral person.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for writing your thoughts, @samu7. You've given me a lot to think about. In the meantime my next stories will not be cheating stories, with the exception of Wet Hot Eroshire Summer Part 2, but that will have a resolution regarding the infidelity that I haven't approached in any previous story; I look forward to hearing what you think about it!

 

[samu7]

I love Eroshire Summer Part 1, so I will be tuning in whenever Part 2 drops. Though with the way you write your characters lately, I wouldn't be surprised if at the end of the Trilogy it is revealed that Ethan, Junji, and Charlie were trio corrupt politicians who conspires to eliminate the poor and murder women or some shit

 

[The_shadow_rising]

Well, I have finished reading One Night! And I have seen the comments. As useful as ever, from what I read.

I would write a review but I'm not qualified for that. So, all I can write is my opinions. So what are they?

Well, the story was good That's the short version. And I enjoyed it, especially the build-up. I wasn't too sure going in because of the Romance category, but it was enjoyable and very well-written.

I liked the little nod to Shorehaven too. Yes, I did spot it

All that said, it wasn't overly my kind of story for a couple of reasons. First, it WAS romance, and I don't enjoy stories where her guy finds out. That's just my preferences and nothing wrong with the story at all! So don't take that as a down point. It was nice to read something new and different with that flow, so I wouldn't change it even so. Second, Sarah wasn't really my kind of character. Not because she was boring or anything - quite the contrary, she was fun, real, interesting, different, and lively. But it was because she wasn't attractive traditionally. Not her bra size, or her being cute, but I just couldn't imagine her as anything but unattractive due to the constant reminders that she wasn't traditionally attractive. Nothing wrong with her being that way, women should be of all kinds, but I just couldn't 'burn' as I read the sex because I could only picture her as unattractive.
I know that isn't what was intended - she was cute, it is often said - but in conjunction with the reminders that she wasn't attractive it kind of made it hard to imagine for me. And I tried to imagine her like other women I had seen who were like her physical description. I guess that is because I view beauty as subjective and relative, so even if she wasn't traditionally attractive or busty, or whatever, I still could have imagined her as attractive in her way, for what she did have. But I couldn't.

Those are both preferences though, not anything wrong with the story. The build-up was fantastic, though I would like to see a cheating story with your talent where the girl isn't hating the guy (as much fun as that story type is!). I would also like to see a little more dialogue to break up the long description. There is a lot, but less during the sex scene than I would enjoy. But again, and I can't stress this enough, that is just another preference, not anything wrong with the story.

Having said all of that, I did very much enjoy the build-up and sex scene, the naughtiness of the montages and breaking of furniture, as well as your ability to write about LOTS of cum Very well written, and a nice change from other stories I have read - like a breath of fresh air. I loved the extra scenes and narrative after the sex that continued the story (even if it was romantic). You are a very talented writer, RLD, keep up writing WHAT YOU WANT! That is where your strength is and this story shows it.

Another good story for your repertoire and an enjoyable read. Don't pay attention to the comments. Thank you for your hard work!

 

[DrPope]

I have read ALL of this authors stories .... and I would note the following as generalizations (so generally true) about his library of submissions.

RedLegoDragon is a VERY talented writer....the building of his narrative arch's structure in particular is excellent as many have commented. The (extremely rare) more realistic scenarios in his body of work show a excellent command of fictional conversational language (a rare find) and character insights not seen in most recent authors.

RedLegoDragon hides his writing talent behind his self invented and quite frankly narratively limiting and stifling "Eroshire" universe .... where nothing is remotely realistic and no narrative arch is sane .... he then doubles down by writing deliberately OTT sex seemingly as a way to further distance his writings from ever receiving any serious attention.

I think this is a shame as he has the talent to write really well balanced tales without relaying on this gimmick that is more obstructive then constructive to generating good quality narratives.

 

[DarkSollat]

RedLegoDragon hides his writing talent behind his self invented and quite frankly narratively limiting and stifling "Eroshire" universe .... where nothing is remotely realistic and no narrative arch is sane .... he then doubles down by writing deliberately OTT sex seemingly as a way to further distance his writings from ever receiving any serious attention.

Where's problem?

 

[DrPope]

Where's problem?

I literally explained in my post where the problem lies. What part of it went beyond your comprehension?

 

[DarkSollat]

I literally explained in my post where the problem lies. What part of it went beyond your comprehension?

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

 

[PennyThompson]

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

 

[DrPope]

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

Because he's a better writer then the Eroshire rubbish (and it is rubbish ... in fact....very well written and even complicated but still utter throwaway trash) would lead you to believe. It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste.

BTW ...Where's is only SOMETIMES a synonym of where is ...in circumstances such as your use you should be using "where is" not Where's.

 

[DarkSollat]

Because he's a better writer then the Eroshire rubbish (and it is rubbish ... in fact....very well written and even complicated but still utter throwaway trash) would lead you to believe. It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste.

So you're a masochist or something?

 

[DrPope]

So you're a masochist or something?

Interesting how you could infer that from my response ...are you are moron or something?

 

[DarkSollat]

Interesting how you could infer that from my response ...are you are moron or something?

You said: "It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste."
Yet you keep coming for more.

 

[DrPope]

If you think that keeping an eye on someone who you believe is talented but disappointing because you want them to do better then wallow in what they have already mastered is "coming back for more" your opinion is as delusional as your inferences.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

RedLegoDragon is a VERY talented writer....the building of his narrative arch's structure in particular is excellent as many have commented. The (extremely rare) more realistic scenarios in his body of work show a excellent command of fictional conversational language (a rare find) and character insights not seen in most recent authors.

Oh damn, my Masters degree in Creative Writing is bleeding through. Got to try and hide it with more pulpy smut next time!

I think this is a shame as he has the talent to write really well balanced tales without relaying on this gimmick that is more obstructive then constructive to generating good quality narratives.

Bless you for thinking this is the only thing I write!

I'm sure I've mentioned this before on Lit, but I'll mention it again: I'm writing Eroshire stories as a hobby. Something for fun. They are not for me to master the craft of the art with. This isn't meant to diminish the art of erotica - there are many, many talented writers on Lit who write far better crafted stories than me - it's just I've chosen this particular form of storytelling as my way of unwinding. Then I publish it for absolutely no cost on Lit. If you enjoy it, cool; if not, also cool!

I do appreciate the feedback, though!