Review: Stories by RedLegoDragon

[DarkSollat]

The new @RedLegoDragon 's story is up -> A Fertile Competition. I experienced a brief setback with reading, as Lit posted the work at 8AM instead of usual 7AM so I didn't noticed till afternoon, but I'm back on track.

When it comes to general themes, usually RLD has been alterating between silly works and serious ones. AFC seemed to belong to the former category, same as Wet Hot Eroshire Summer Ch.01, so it looked like the cycle was broken. But in fact, it didn't, because it turned out despite the overaching art (a competition who'll manage to get Alexa pregnant) is silly as fuck, each of the main four sex scene has rather serious tone. For two - Jacob's and Logan's - it straight up therapy sessions, while for the other two - Kyle's and Leona's - it was about making their sordid dreams come true. And don't get me wrong - sex were pretty solid too, and quite silly as well, but to be honest, pretty solid isn't what RLD accustomed me to - I expected something great. In fact, I was enjoying psychological aspect over sexual one. Same may be said about further DP threesomes scenes.

The work however starts with Alexa being worried if her husband knows their daughter isn't his - it was quite fun. But then comes the main twist and it's... weird af - tbh I know what the characters' deals are, but what they tried to get during this particular scene, I don't know. Next fucking session is also weird and I felt slightly uncomfortable reading it while I doubt it was RLD's intention. Also, as always, there was editorial mistakes every beta reader would catch on (misspelling Alessa name, Kyle and Mark's bet described on two separate occassions with different details, two dialogues about Leona having the same plastic surgeon as Alexa between the same characters one page away).

But, despite this work as a whole is only OK, there is one scene which stands proudly side by side with RLD's best: the scene of Leona and Alexa cumming together - it beats analogical scene from A Fertile Opportunity in my books. The second place belongs to the start of Jacob's scene, when he fucks Alexa in some creepy but hot manner.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for the review!

I'd like to say every conflicting detail is deliberately calculated by a skilled writer. However, in this case I'm just a dumbass!

 

[DarkSollat]

New @RedLegoDragon story Cursed is now on, so here's the review.

In fact, this is hard for me to write this review. Because even if the story has sex in it, it's not really a sex story. I know, Three's a Crowd or Get Cucked! also had complicated plots, but sex in them were hot, lusty, and erotic (even in case of Dani and Jake, however weird it is - but it was the same for the characters, so I'm forgiven). Here's, sex scene is mostly... awkward? concerning? And don't get me wrong, it fits the overall theme, characters involved, and their relationship, so there is a certain... appeal in it. I'm just saying that if you want something to beat your meat to, Cursed probably won't do the work. Or maybe it will, I'm not kinkshaming (not after some works I've read on AO3). And also, there is a small segment of this sex scene which is - for me - genuinelly hot, so maybe I'm into weird shit too. (Not maybe. I am.)

What really works in this story though, are characters. Erith is in fact more likeable than Erin, and also chances are that she's better than sex than her sister. Nathan is for sure creep, but a creep, this story needed, and it pains me that people with his views exist irl too. Just please, don't call him/them an incel. Incel is just a shortcut for involuntary celibate; I'm an incel, and probably many other guys here. It's so called pill ideologies the problem, so call them pillers when the potential sequel hook will come into life. Secondary cast is also OK.

On weak points, I don't think a moral of this story really delivers. It should be that sex isn't the most important thing in life, but I don't think that Eroshire as a whole support it even a little. Like, Erin was literally unhappy until she started having proper sex, so when the sentence above come from her, it sounds hypocritical as fuck. The secondary moral is that sex is only good with at least temporary relation and no, I'm not buying it here. I could agree that it's better, but I seriously doubt if Brad, Kyle, or Erin really needs connection to have a great fuck, not even beginning with the likes like Alexa or Theo. (Just to be clear: I believe in both irl, but we're talking the fictional universe and its denizens.) But maybe it's a soft reboot, who knows.

Ah, this work has the marathon ofc, but this time it's more emotional than lustful. Not a bad thing itself, but still - nothing to make my dick flutter.

Summarizing, Cursed was for sure an interesting read, much different than the rest of Eroshire. It's not bad, but I won't probably be coming back to it.

 

[DarkSollat]

Yesterday @RedLegoDragon 's newest story was published: One Night. I know, I usually review his submissions the same day they came up, but this time I'm a little later because slaying demons in Doom (2016) is a full-time job.

Anyway, first of all, thank you RLD for a shout-out. I feel appretiated, even if you didn't take my suggestion about a door scene

The review will be however short and comes up to one sentence: If you liked A Sordid Arrangement (which I reviewed in the first post in this topic), you'll love One Night as this story is practically a retelling of it. And I don't mean it negatively: ASA was the first story published by RLD, so it bears some Early Installment Weirdness, and I know the author wanted to tackle this particular topic once more with more experience and skills. And he generally speaking succeeded: this work has a great buildup, wide range of likeable (and not) characters, and hot sex with not one, not two, but THREE montages! And also, what is very important to me, a sweet ending. All of it set in a lustful country of Eroshire we know and love.

Rating: A tier.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for the review!

 

[samu7]

LOL BIG RANT
Why do you keep insisting your main characters to be good people? Lol. I mean, you have definitely grown and progressed as a writer, becoming more than a smut writer. But idk man, all this moral messaging, and the messages in your latest stories. They just rub me the wrong way. Mind you I've praised your stories before, so this is coming from someone who fully much enjoy and understands what's hot about cheating stories.

I snickered when Kyle tried to claim the boy he's been bullying for years to be an asshole. And I literally couldn't roll my eyes hard enough when the reveal comes.

I do appreciate you writing the complexities of your stud characters but where does that left us? A message that if you are cheated on, it must be because your bully has smelled your bullshit and you deserve it LMAO

It's just so hypocritical in this universe. You know you can make a cheating story without making it seem like the cheaters had moral high ground right? Especially when we've established from the first page how much of a massive asshole Kyle is.

It has been such a problem with your latest stories that stop me from fully enjoying them. In *Three's a Crowd*, I already got the ick when it tried to plaster it over and over again how “it's WHO you fuck!” that makes sex special… when we have seen many Eroshire stories where the cheating sex feels much better with a bigger cock. But I let that slide because of the darker tone of the story.

Then *Zehra Takes the Third Option* came and we had Zehra rationalizing her decision to her boyfriend with the “Honey, I'm having sex with your best friend to get closer to a part of you” bullshit. What? I feel like being gaslit. I simply to refuse to believe her ridiculous claim. We've read *Game Night*, come on. Girl you cheated with Logan because you think he's hot, lol. Like… why are we trying to justify their cheating into something wholesome, like it was something they did for a greater good. Why are we being told that their cheating was the morally good decision? Heck! One of THE hottest part of it was how WRONG it was. Sure, I can accept them easing into a throuple relationship but the way they were built left a lump in my mind.

On *Cursed*.... I gave up. I thought someone had commented somewhere about it, something I fully agreed on. It was hypocritical bullshit in the message. Sure, Nathan went about it in the wrong way but were his grievances wrong? The girls DID only always go after the jocks! You can't even make the “but they weren't assholes about it” argument because characters like Kyle and Theo exist. Overall, it just rubs me the wrong way how you twist the fact that some guys being hot and good at sex as testaments on how they actually respect women. It was laughable how hypocritical that was.

Back to *One Night*, it was another hypocritical justification mess. The takeaway of the story is, despite having a solid group of friends and many girls around him, Kyle was actually a broken individual who was hurting inside. And the guy he's BULLYING for years and years was actually a monster of a person who did in fact deserve to be left by his girlfriend for his own bully.

Like, how did you really expect us to respond to the reveal? *Oh no, he lashed out when he found out his girlfriend have brutal sex with his bully on his last day of High School right next to his hotel room for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT, humiliating him for everyone in the hotel building to hear! He lashed out at that! What a monster!* Lol. It felt like the only way to be a good man in Eroshire was to accept his girlfriend cheating and screaming for hours and hours about how much bigger and better the cock is. And while I agree Clyde's view was toxic, his high school experience was detrimental to shape his view, and he was still raw. Let's break it down: 1) Kyle was constantly bullying Clyde, 2) Clyde's girlfriend's friends still willingly slept with him / praise his reputation despite the fact. So was it REALLY wrong of him to look down on these girls who willingly cozy up to his bullying tormentor just because they think he's hot? Was it REALLY omg-so-abusive-monstrous-POS of him to not want his girlfriend become one of them - overlooking an asshole’s asshole behavior just because he's got a massive cock? Like, I don't fucking care how many times Kyle's dad beat him up growing up, KYLE IS NOT A BETTER PERSON THAN CLYDE and it's psychotic and sick in the head to even suggest that, and yet you did. Many times.

Again, the ending heavily implied Kyle was just a flawed broken individual while Clyde was an irredeemable monster. Despite the fact Kyle was BULLYING Clyde for years! Lol. I refuse to believe Kyle was a better person than Clyde just because he's sex positive. Come on.

It was such a demoralizing message to young men. Not that your earlier stories have good moral message lol, but at least we weren't made to believe the cheating pair to have a moral ground than people who just aren't as hot or as skilled at sex as them. Let assholes be assholes.

It wasn't even about how they fall in love. I didn't mind having to read about cheating pairs who fell in love eventually, but at that point we recognize them as selfish ignorant behavior. The way you treat your characters who aren't as sexy and skilled at sex were just cruel. Not only by taking their girls away, you stripped them off and tainted their entire image as a person. The only ones that weren't painted as monsters were the ones who ACCEPT having their girl have sex with other men. The others? Nope, abusive devilish monsters who deserve to rot while the guys with big dicks were actually broken weeping angels.

At the end of the day, you wrote what you wanted and I definitely appreciate your growth as a writer but reading these stories just made me sink into a hole and I'd just keep to your older stories where it was just hot woman and man fucking, and less justifying them as a moral person.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for writing your thoughts, @samu7. You've given me a lot to think about. In the meantime my next stories will not be cheating stories, with the exception of Wet Hot Eroshire Summer Part 2, but that will have a resolution regarding the infidelity that I haven't approached in any previous story; I look forward to hearing what you think about it!

 

[samu7]

I love Eroshire Summer Part 1, so I will be tuning in whenever Part 2 drops. Though with the way you write your characters lately, I wouldn't be surprised if at the end of the Trilogy it is revealed that Ethan, Junji, and Charlie were trio corrupt politicians who conspires to eliminate the poor and murder women or some shit

 

[The_shadow_rising]

Well, I have finished reading One Night! And I have seen the comments. As useful as ever, from what I read.

I would write a review but I'm not qualified for that. So, all I can write is my opinions. So what are they?

Well, the story was good That's the short version. And I enjoyed it, especially the build-up. I wasn't too sure going in because of the Romance category, but it was enjoyable and very well-written.

I liked the little nod to Shorehaven too. Yes, I did spot it

All that said, it wasn't overly my kind of story for a couple of reasons. First, it WAS romance, and I don't enjoy stories where her guy finds out. That's just my preferences and nothing wrong with the story at all! So don't take that as a down point. It was nice to read something new and different with that flow, so I wouldn't change it even so. Second, Sarah wasn't really my kind of character. Not because she was boring or anything - quite the contrary, she was fun, real, interesting, different, and lively. But it was because she wasn't attractive traditionally. Not her bra size, or her being cute, but I just couldn't imagine her as anything but unattractive due to the constant reminders that she wasn't traditionally attractive. Nothing wrong with her being that way, women should be of all kinds, but I just couldn't 'burn' as I read the sex because I could only picture her as unattractive.
I know that isn't what was intended - she was cute, it is often said - but in conjunction with the reminders that she wasn't attractive it kind of made it hard to imagine for me. And I tried to imagine her like other women I had seen who were like her physical description. I guess that is because I view beauty as subjective and relative, so even if she wasn't traditionally attractive or busty, or whatever, I still could have imagined her as attractive in her way, for what she did have. But I couldn't.

Those are both preferences though, not anything wrong with the story. The build-up was fantastic, though I would like to see a cheating story with your talent where the girl isn't hating the guy (as much fun as that story type is!). I would also like to see a little more dialogue to break up the long description. There is a lot, but less during the sex scene than I would enjoy. But again, and I can't stress this enough, that is just another preference, not anything wrong with the story.

Having said all of that, I did very much enjoy the build-up and sex scene, the naughtiness of the montages and breaking of furniture, as well as your ability to write about LOTS of cum Very well written, and a nice change from other stories I have read - like a breath of fresh air. I loved the extra scenes and narrative after the sex that continued the story (even if it was romantic). You are a very talented writer, RLD, keep up writing WHAT YOU WANT! That is where your strength is and this story shows it.

Another good story for your repertoire and an enjoyable read. Don't pay attention to the comments. Thank you for your hard work!

 

[DrPope]

I have read ALL of this authors stories .... and I would note the following as generalizations (so generally true) about his library of submissions.

RedLegoDragon is a VERY talented writer....the building of his narrative arch's structure in particular is excellent as many have commented. The (extremely rare) more realistic scenarios in his body of work show a excellent command of fictional conversational language (a rare find) and character insights not seen in most recent authors.

RedLegoDragon hides his writing talent behind his self invented and quite frankly narratively limiting and stifling "Eroshire" universe .... where nothing is remotely realistic and no narrative arch is sane .... he then doubles down by writing deliberately OTT sex seemingly as a way to further distance his writings from ever receiving any serious attention.

I think this is a shame as he has the talent to write really well balanced tales without relaying on this gimmick that is more obstructive then constructive to generating good quality narratives.

 

[DarkSollat]

RedLegoDragon hides his writing talent behind his self invented and quite frankly narratively limiting and stifling "Eroshire" universe .... where nothing is remotely realistic and no narrative arch is sane .... he then doubles down by writing deliberately OTT sex seemingly as a way to further distance his writings from ever receiving any serious attention.

Where's problem?

 

[DrPope]

Where's problem?

I literally explained in my post where the problem lies. What part of it went beyond your comprehension?

 

[DarkSollat]

I literally explained in my post where the problem lies. What part of it went beyond your comprehension?

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

 

[PennyThompson]

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

 

[DrPope]

Let me be more precise. Where's problem in:
* nothing being remotely realistic
* no narrative arch being sane
* deliberately OTT sex

Also, all RLD works are like that, and he also specifies in author's note that it's going to be like that. I genuinely wonder, why you still read something that is clearly not yor type.

Because he's a better writer then the Eroshire rubbish (and it is rubbish ... in fact....very well written and even complicated but still utter throwaway trash) would lead you to believe. It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste.

BTW ...Where's is only SOMETIMES a synonym of where is ...in circumstances such as your use you should be using "where is" not Where's.

 

[DarkSollat]

Because he's a better writer then the Eroshire rubbish (and it is rubbish ... in fact....very well written and even complicated but still utter throwaway trash) would lead you to believe. It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste.

So you're a masochist or something?

 

[DrPope]

So you're a masochist or something?

Interesting how you could infer that from my response ...are you are moron or something?

 

[DarkSollat]

Interesting how you could infer that from my response ...are you are moron or something?

You said: "It disappoints me to see talented people stay fixed in their comfort zones whilst still doing the same amount of work...it's a total waste."
Yet you keep coming for more.

 

[DrPope]

If you think that keeping an eye on someone who you believe is talented but disappointing because you want them to do better then wallow in what they have already mastered is "coming back for more" your opinion is as delusional as your inferences.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

RedLegoDragon is a VERY talented writer....the building of his narrative arch's structure in particular is excellent as many have commented. The (extremely rare) more realistic scenarios in his body of work show a excellent command of fictional conversational language (a rare find) and character insights not seen in most recent authors.

Oh damn, my Masters degree in Creative Writing is bleeding through. Got to try and hide it with more pulpy smut next time!

I think this is a shame as he has the talent to write really well balanced tales without relaying on this gimmick that is more obstructive then constructive to generating good quality narratives.

Bless you for thinking this is the only thing I write!

I'm sure I've mentioned this before on Lit, but I'll mention it again: I'm writing Eroshire stories as a hobby. Something for fun. They are not for me to master the craft of the art with. This isn't meant to diminish the art of erotica - there are many, many talented writers on Lit who write far better crafted stories than me - it's just I've chosen this particular form of storytelling as my way of unwinding. Then I publish it for absolutely no cost on Lit. If you enjoy it, cool; if not, also cool!

I do appreciate the feedback, though!

 

[DrPope]

You unwind by deliberately writing utter nonsense? It wouldn’t matter if you had something else but all your stuff is Eroshire … You wouldn’t be the first and won’t be the last…it’s an English thing I suspect

 

[samu7]

?

That's the weirdest assessment of RLD story I know. But I guess it kinda makes sense? Maybe the premise that everyone knows everyone, and everyone supporting everyone's cheating in this city is unrealistic, but I wasn't even sure that's where the complaints come from lol

Nobody's making bank writing stories for Literotica. Every writer here publishes stories for the pure passion for erotic stories. The whole "everyone knows everyone" thing annoys me a bit but I accept that the Eroshire lore is RLD's forté and he doesn't need to avoid "obstructive gimmicks" to keep his passion alive.

Speaking of, I reread One Night with the hindsight knowledge of Clyde being misogynistic and Kyle being a champion for feminism, trying to gain a new appreciation or perspective. I still don't get it I'm afraid... In fact, I found that in the middle it was mentioned that Clyde literally doesn't care about sex. Maybe from realistic lens I could see how it can be seen as selfish and puritan, but on the other hand if he literally doesn't care for sex should he be forced to enjoy or participate in it? It's not like he wants sex but refuse to spite Sarah's desire, or that he wants it but he's bad at it like Peter. He literally doesn't care. Which is the problem for me: many people have the same view, not finding enjoyment from sex but that doesn't mean they're misogynists. It's not inherently wrong to view sex as sacred and as a tool for procreation. As far as we know: 1) Clyde doesn't care for sex, 2) He *thinks* Sarah doesn't care for sex. 3) Sarah actually cares about sex, 4) she seeks sex elsewhere, from his bully. We can easily rewrite the story without labelling Clyde as a misogynist. He might or might not find out about Sarah's cheating, but after the night with Kyle, Sarah realized their values don't align and we can go from there. Doesn't have to make the person who's already cheated on and lied to (she clearly didn't tell him about her needs for better sex from him) as the villain.

As for Kyle it's still the same thing. Regardless of his motivation, every time he sees a woman in a happy relationship he immediately goes to think "I can fuck her better than her man". Does that sound like someone who respect women? Don't get me wrong. That attitude is hot as fuck *in erotic fiction*, but totally repulsive for women in real life. But the thing is you're blurring real life moral values with erotica logic, so it seems like justifying the actual action in real life which turn people off.

To not end this post with a sour note, I'm excited for Eroshire summer! Iirc it's gonna be set at a beach vacation right? Hot af already. Can't help but feel bad Charlie. He planned the same holiday that his girlfriend is gonna use to cheat on him at with his best friend lol. Let me prepare myself for when Charlie's revealed to be either a misogynist or a cuck, as well.

 

[DarkSollat]

By writing both comments and this topic, it seems that some people hates Kyle's character development and would prefer him to stay a douchebag he was during A Sordid Arrangement. Well, I'm not one of those people, but a complete opposite: I think Kyle's character development is one of the biggest quality of Eroshire. So I've decided to write this character study.

Kyle's issues are rooted in his childhood, and much more precise: in his father... and sister. As a child, he was a sweet boy, as much as meeting him once was one of Peter's happy memories. But then, when like in traditional times he began floating from his mother toward his father, he changed. Jonathan Matthews - a toxic masculity made flesh - bullied him into thinking that the real man takes whichever woman he wants without any kind of remorse, and anyone who acts differently is a soy boy, a weakling, or a gay (or any combination of those). At the same time, the women in his life wasn't there to shield him from it. His mom began having issues on her own, losing herself in alcohol and beauty treatments (probably from the fear of getting old), and his sister... Let's say that because of Lit rules, we never won't be able to meet teenage Alexa, but something tells me that she didn't start being a slut at her 18th birthday. In short, his sister, who Kyle kept dearly, was just a prove that Jonathan was right - when you have a big dick and cocky attitute, the world (and women) are yours to take.

So here comes high school Kyle, who as surprisingly big number of people became the thing he hated the most: his father. But then something unexpected happened: he fell in love, even more: genuine love. With a girl who wasn't like his mother, sister, or any other typical Eroshire girl: pretty, but not overly, not busty, interested in more things than getting laid. He fought it for a long time in the only way he knew: but being a douche for both her and her boyfriend. Only when they had sex she managed to pierce through his armor. He felt he could be himself again, to enter a healhly relationship and just be happy. But when Sarah left Eroshire - yet in Kyle's eyes, she left him - he felt that the only time he allowed himself to be vulnerable, he was punished for it. And as he once again was left alone in it, he dealt with it the only way he knew how: he became even a bigger douche.

But then, he met Peter and then Erin, and learnt that they were couple. With it, his need to bed Erin grew expotentialy. I think that seeing a good man like Peter being happy with incredibly hot girl enraged Kyle greatly. Why this weakling should be happy with a girl, if when he (Kyle) wanted to be a good man, he was punished for it? So he decided to punish Peter as well but in fact, he couldn't even do that - the only way he could get Erin was through a blackmail, not by charm or seduction skills. During sex with Erin he began getting flashbacks of Sarah and finally the two girls kind of became one in his mind. That's why his relationship with Erin was so messed up. He didn't want Erin, he wanted Sarah, but he got Erin, and not even the whole Erin, because she was with Peter and also sluting around. So he was both pulling her in and pushing her away, and the closer they were, the harder he was doing so. And then was also Peter, who he promised to be good to. And I believe he really loved spending time with him - because finally he could be his real self, not this pseudo-Jonathan persona.

All things summarizing, he was happy, but he was also miserable, all swirling emotions too much for him to handle. Because we need to remember that maybe Kyle had 9-inch-long stone-hard dick and was fucking almost constantly, but in fact HE WAS JUST A KID, a 19-20 years old boy. And then he snapped. Thrice. For the first time, when Peter turned out to be a cuckold and not only his relationship with Erin became even happier, but their sex greatly improved too - so Kyle felt like she doesn't need him anymore. For the second, when he saw Zane fucking Erin seemingly better than him and with bigger dick too - and he felt even more obsolete. For the third time, when Erin ultimately had chosen Peter - her beloved - over him - her lover. And this was the culmination of his arc - he fell into darkness and the war for his sould began - and this is the only real war, as Kreia from KotOR2 said.

But this time, he wasn't alone like earlier. He had more than absent mother, abusive father, slutty sisters, and light-headed friends. He had Erin - a genuinely good soul - and it was she who pulled him out like he never pulled himself out. By simply hugging him, she showed him that he can be vulnerable and it wouldn't be the end of him - it would be a new beginning. And he could finally let it go, cry those tears he never cried out, and begin therapy. In fact, he'd even become better in bed thanks to it, as only by fucking Erin together with Peter, he awakened her quarter-succubus clairsentience powers - something he never achieved on his own. And ultimately, he even gets Sarah back - if he wouldn't change, Erin wouldn't find her for him.

And the best thing is that Kyle's story is Eroshire's story on smaller scale. The country began as a dark place: Erin cheated on Peter with a man who made his life miserable; Ayesha was so unhappy in marriage that she fucked her daughter's a.k.a. the light of her life's boyfriend; and Alexa allowed her husband's friend fertilize her and made said husband to raise his kid. But later on, Peter accepted Erin's slutty ways and Alexa's husband turns to be an orchestrator of the whole things; I'm pretty sure Ayesha and her daughter would reconcile as well. Even Jake changed, so there's a chance for both Clyde and Nathan as well.

So if you prefer to read about uncaring studs, go check The_Shadow_Rising's story. If you want to read about cruel studs, TheTalkMan surely has something in store for you. But I much more prefer a character capable for changing, someone who has a personality and motives firmly set in his story. Someone like Kyle Matthews.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you so much for that huge breakdown, @DarkSollat! One thing I enjoy about writing these stories is honing the craft of the first draft. If I was publishing Eroshire stories I would spend three times longer than I do writing them editing them. I'm a big believer in editing; polishing and polishing a story until it shines.

While I've greatly enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts about these characters (Sarah, Kyle, and Clyde), what's quite apparent to me is the disparity between what I thought I was trying to say, and what the reader thought I was saying. Ruthless editing would have definitely improved this, making clearer that Clyde's views on sexuality are a part of his conservative ideals of a woman's place in the household. He's misogynistic only insofar as he genuinely believes that a woman's place should be by her man, tending to the house, and giving birth to his kids. If she wants a job and a life of her own? That's not important. He genuinely did love Sarah, and was hurt by her betrayal, but he wasn't good for her as what he wanted out of the relationship wasn't what she wanted.

I'll definitely revisit Clyde someday, I just have a lot of other stories planned that will take me away from the Kyle/Erin/Sarah/Peter orbit I seem to have been stuck in for the last two years. The original intent was to slowly expand Eroshire by linking people in a vast spider's web of connections. Wet Hot Eroshire Summer 2 will have a small link with Erin, but otherwise will be wholly separate (and the link is mostly to set up Erin's dad, who I have neglected to talk about so far).

I'm happy to see that my works have inspired so much emotion in people, even if sometimes it was entirely unintentional! I'll take all of this as more lessons to improve myself as a writer!

 

[DarkSollat]

While I've greatly enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts about these characters (Sarah, Kyle, and Clyde), what's quite apparent to me is the disparity between what I thought I was trying to say, and what the reader thought I was saying. Ruthless editing would have definitely improved this, making clearer that Clyde's views on sexuality are a part of his conservative ideals of a woman's place in the household. He's misogynistic only insofar as he genuinely believes that a woman's place should be by her man, tending to the house, and giving birth to his kids. If she wants a job and a life of her own? That's not important. He genuinely did love Sarah, and was hurt by her betrayal, but he wasn't good for her as what he wanted out of the relationship wasn't what she wanted.

I also think that people tend to forget that stories are written from a certain point of view, usually the characters'. So if e.g. Clyde snaps at Sarah when he discovers she cheated and you didn't write something like "his wrath was righteous!", they assume you condemn his behavior only because Sarah is MC. Or if you didn't explicitly write "what Sarah did was bad", they assume you support her action because she's MC.