Ritual

[poetedge5455]

Perhaps a bit off topic, but this talk of wussies reminded me of a conversation with my sister and nephew I had. I lost touch with her for years in our thirties, so my neices and nephews only know me as the relativel gentle intellectual person I am now. My nephew commented that I was such a mellow person (a hysterical. Comment to those who have known me forever) and my sister laughed and said your uncle was the worst hellraiser I've ever met when we were kids. I told her she was ruining my mystique, lol.

I prefer Ariel's persona for us. Warrior-artists. Should this be in the oxymoron thread instead?

 

[butters]

Perhaps a bit off topic, but this talk of wussies reminded me of a conversation with my sister and nephew I had. I lost touch with her for years in our thirties, so my neices and nephews only know me as the relativel gentle intellectual person I am now. My nephew commented that I was such a mellow person (a hysterical. Comment to those who have known me forever) and my sister laughed and said your uncle was the worst hellraiser I've ever met when we were kids. I told her she was ruining my mystique, lol.

I prefer Ariel's persona for us. Warrior-artists. Should this be in the oxymoron thread instead?

stones with many facets?
or the river-pebble, smooth and rounded exterior yet, when cracked open, full of bright colours, incredible swirls, tell-tale bands of black?


not to mention the flint-sharp wafered edges ready to slice the unwary ...

 

[poetedge5455]

stones with many facets?
or the river-pebble, smooth and rounded exterior yet, when cracked open, full of bright colours, incredible swirls, tell-tale bands of black?


not to mention the flint-sharp wafered edges ready to slice the unwary ...

This is truth. And goes well with the Nightblade moniker Ariel so thoughtfully gave me.

 

[greenmountaineer]

This has been one of the most thought provoking threads I've seen in a while. I enjoyed reading all of the posts and am still thinking about the poems and suggestions.

I still prefer "Ritual" over "Nemaste," particularly after the original last line was dropped. It made me feel that something visceral became more meaningful than melancholic. I was looking for more images of the divine in "Nemaste," . Perhaps they're there and I'm missing them.

(Then again, I've been reading too much Thich Nhat Hanh and Thomas Merton lately, both of whom have takne me on quite a ride.)

Thank you for the wonderful case studies which are being shaped into wonderful poems.

 

[butters]

when poetry makes us think, and discussions breed even more ponderings, it's all good.


have you anything up here on the forum you might want any of us to take a comb through? or just read and comment on?

 

[poetedge5455]

This has been one of the most thought provoking threads I've seen in a while. I enjoyed reading all of the posts and am still thinking about the poems and suggestions.

I still prefer "Ritual" over "Nemaste," particularly after the original last line was dropped. It made me feel that something visceral became more meaningful than melancholic. I was looking for more images of the divine in "Nemaste," . Perhaps they're there and I'm missing them.

(Then again, I've been reading too much Thich Nhat Hanh and Thomas Merton lately, both of whom have takne me on quite a ride.)

Thank you for the wonderful case studies which are being shaped into wonderful poems.

Welcome Green from a fellow newbie. I agree with your comments about the content of this thread. I have run live in-person workshops that weren't this thought provokinf and insightful.
.
It has helped me quite a bit, and this was a poem I was fairly happy with b4 the critique. I am usually unsatisfied with the gap between what is in my head and what is rendered on the page. This thread gave me some real information to close that gap.

Look forward to reading some work from you.

 

[greenmountaineer]

when poetry makes us think, and discussions breed even more ponderings, it's all good.


have you anything up here on the forum you might want any of us to take a comb through? or just read and comment on?

A couple of ideas but nothing yet in any intelligible form.