BooMerengue
Literotica Guru
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Rybka had a medicine thread out once, I can't find it but
- Thread starter echoes_s
- Start date
minsue
Gosling
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- Apr 27, 2002
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echoes_s said:MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE
were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey,
"You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
You'd think that would get old, but it never fails to make me laugh.
From a list of truly bad pick-up lines:
- If we are what we eat...Can I be you by morning??!
- I'm having a party at your ankles... should I invite your pants down?
- Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!
- Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
And my favorite
[*] Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me...
I think that last one may have to make it's way to my siggy...
My Erotic Tail
tale weaving
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- Nov 30, 2003
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- 1,842
let me try
A women moves to oklahoma...known for
Indians..she goes to the store and outside the
store stood an Indian man..she said "Hi"...
the Indian said "Chance"
the next day she goes to the same store and
she sees the same Indian man standing outside
the store so she says "Hi"...
and the Indian man says, "Chance,"
the woman looks at the Indian and says...
"I thought you Indians say 'How',"
the Indian Man says," Know how...want a Chance"
A women moves to oklahoma...known for
Indians..she goes to the store and outside the
store stood an Indian man..she said "Hi"...
the Indian said "Chance"
the next day she goes to the same store and
she sees the same Indian man standing outside
the store so she says "Hi"...
and the Indian man says, "Chance,"
the woman looks at the Indian and says...
"I thought you Indians say 'How',"
the Indian Man says," Know how...want a Chance"
My Erotic Tail
tale weaving
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2003
- Posts
- 1,842
The best finger?
Judy the blonde runs crying into the office. "Whatever is wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol. "It's my boyfriend Paul the Porsche driver" gushes Judi. "He was working on the engine under the hood of his 911when the lid came down and cut off a finger!" "My god" shrieks Carol. "Did it cut off his whole finger!? " "No thank goodness" sniffs Judy, "it was the one just next to it!"
Judy the blonde runs crying into the office. "Whatever is wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol. "It's my boyfriend Paul the Porsche driver" gushes Judi. "He was working on the engine under the hood of his 911when the lid came down and cut off a finger!" "My god" shrieks Carol. "Did it cut off his whole finger!? " "No thank goodness" sniffs Judy, "it was the one just next to it!"
echoes_s
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 23, 2003
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One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said," Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs.
"Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said," Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs.
"Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
Ninja Nookie
Really Experienced
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A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair
of cutoff jeans. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork,
and out comes the Genie to give him one wish.
He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he
can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says "Master, these people have been at war
since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives.
What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I
cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen."
"OK", the dude says, "tomorrow morning have my wife awaken
me, with the best blow job I've ever had, on her own, without
my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT,
because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!!"
The Genie shakes his head and says
"LET ME SEE THAT MAP AGAIN!"
of cutoff jeans. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork,
and out comes the Genie to give him one wish.
He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he
can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says "Master, these people have been at war
since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives.
What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I
cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen."
"OK", the dude says, "tomorrow morning have my wife awaken
me, with the best blow job I've ever had, on her own, without
my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT,
because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!!"
The Genie shakes his head and says
"LET ME SEE THAT MAP AGAIN!"
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