Sado-Masochism - Reality or fantasy?

[Guest]

sighing... that is the problem, ... sometimes i enjoy being tied up and stuff but he (spouse) doesn't seem to understand when i do or don't want it
so i had to tell him to lay completely off the handcuffs and stuff because one time it went too far and i got scared....


that is why it is my fault
if i didn't like that stuff he probably wouldn't even try it in the first place you know?

i don't see how dixon can tell the difference

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I can tell the difference because I communicate with my partner. If you can't feel what your husband or wife is thinking, particularly in bed, if he can't tell the difference between sex and rape, then maybe you're in the wrong marriage.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

I'm so naughty .. I need a spanking!

well .. with my and my b/f .. there is total trust .. he knows my boundaries ..

and the spanking part .. ok .. there is no bad pain .. the light spanking is a pleasant pain .. my ass gets pinky red and it stings ... k while i feel the stinging sensation .. if he goes down on me .. it is AMAZING .. like instant orgasm for me ...

SO .. i guess you could say i like LIGHT s/m .. i do not like unpleasurable pain .. no way .. i like being tied up too .. it is such a turn on cause it makes me feel so vulnerable to him ..

i think i am very lucky because i found someone in life who has exactly the same sexual tastes that i do .. it is also a big turn on for him ..

anyways .. this s/m stuff .. i guess i always had an interest in being submissive but was never able to explore it before .. and also when i saw that movie and later read the book the Story of O .. that is when i started to realize i had these feelings ..

Mr. Flagg .. you should try it with your Kate Moss look-alike g/f .. i'll bet if you discuss the boundaries first .. you will both get off on it .. btw she sounds so beautiful .. any chance she might be bi?

and Nikki dear .. i agree .. the "rough" stuff is during sex only .. afterwards i love to cuddle. hey maybe you and your guy would like to join us for a foursome???

 

[Guest]

...and when I look back on it, I've actually been living it my entire life in one form or another.

Exactly! I've discovered, before I learned sexual submission (in the whole BDSM style) could be so nice, that I have been submissive my whole life. Even before I engaged in what is considered "traditional" D/s, I was never the one to ask a guy out or to initiate sex.

 

[dancinvixen]

Re: Ohhh nooo - another thread I would love to get into...

..

Just ONE thing I NEED to straighten out! there is a hell of a difference about smacking someone around, beating someone up , having someone wear black and blue bruises and an experienced and well calculated consentual administering of desired pain to whatever the degree!

I too do think it is mainly a fun attitude for most around here (trust me - a RL spanking still HURTS even if done for erotic purposes ) but I don't really mind and never would want to discourage anyone from something new he/she would like to fantasize about or experiment with. Isn't this a little the things we seek most about this site? Doing and opening up to the ideas most of us wouldn't dare "out there"?

I must agree with Hecate. Just beating on someone during sex is very harmful.. However if you are with someone who knows exactly what both of you want, (i.e. my husband and I) it can definitely spice the old sex life. I enjoy receiving spankings from my husband, because he knows how far to go and when to stop for it to be extremely pleasurable for me. And he gets his pleasure from seeing me in an uncomfortable position. (yes I know that it sounds bad, but it isn't really).

 

[teresafannin]

I don't like spankings. Hated them as a kid, not interested now. My sweetie loves to grab my ass & I must say his hands are just the right size. Now the problem is I want to stay this size and never let my butt get any bigger than it is.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Well I have to agree with so many of you-Hecate your points were excelllent-the most submissive relationship I was ever involved in was totally non-violent-he was a true Master and could cause me to drop to my knees based on his tone alone...which ended up eventually destroying the relationship,since I felt I was losing all of my identity..however I do enjoy a little slap and tickle-and since I am not a petite woman I can get fairly rough-but my love knows my limits and also knows when I need to push them...I really think that with any s/m activity you need to be so careful-it turns abusive so quickly in the wrong hands,but I love being tied up,or pinned and ravished-my husband is very careful and we do communicat often and openly-very important(Dixon is on target with that 100%)...fear and trust are linked and can make for very passionate sex-but abuse either and you are in danger...mmmm,Dionysus just came back from the gym and looks kinda buff-I may go and taunt my way into some playtime....

 

[Flagg]

Isabella - I'm afraid she isn't

The closest she got was when she snogged her best friend drunk at a party. Me and the other boyfriend just stood there and gawked at them. Talk about instantly sober and instantly fucking horny!

She is only 20 though so you never know, she may grow into it. (I've been trying to subliminaly brain wash her in her sleep - do ya think it might work?)