Safewords and Soft Limits

[LunarKitten]

I have found Safewords to be of ultimate importance, even if never used. They give the sub an emergency exit, which mentally makes her feel less on edge about submitting.

In fact, I always make a point of telling a sub that using the safeword is absolutely ok and I will never resent her for it. It's all trickery though, of course, as I find that the more a sub realizes she has the safeword as an option, the less she wants to use it.

Yes, but watch out for those really stubborn masochistic submissives out there who would rather end up in the ER than use their safewords

Yes, I know a few of them. No, I'm not one of them.

 

[LunarKitten]

Yup...Call it negotiations...Fuck, call it Fred..
It's that conversation you have at some point, where you discuss things like hard limits, soft limits, physical problems, allergies, things that make you lose your shit, you know, stuff like that.
BTW..This is mostly for the assorted new folks who read this board.
*sigh* (And if you will excuse the frustration)
Though I swear, I'm gonna invite the next "I have no limits" wannabe newbie to a play session.
Is there really something wrong with saying " Do this stuff for a while before you say things like that"???

As for soft limits. Yes I want to know what they are. I have found that there is usually a reason for them. And soft limits CAN turn hard if you aren't reasonably careful.

*nods* And for anyone in the Raleigh, NC area, there is a workshop on negotating this Sunday.

 

[Marquis]

Yes, but watch out for those really stubborn masochistic submissives out there who would rather end up in the ER than use their safewords

Yes, I know a few of them. No, I'm not one of them.

I don't think I play with girls who would get themselves put in the ER. I don't even think we're playing the same game.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I found this very god essay on safewords.

http://cuffs.com/submission/redorred.html

Francisco.